[bonnieangel]

Hi all! How is everyone doing? Alright, I hope.

I'm sorry I haven't been around in awhile. Work has been extremely busy, and I of course been in one of my blue fogs lately mood wise. Had to get my head on straight. I had to take a really hard look at myself last night and come up with some conclusions. My weight has just been going up and up, and it has to stop. I am an emotional eater anyway, but ever since September 11th (the date of the attacks and also mine and dh's wedding anniversary), I have been a mess. I am nervous and upset all the time, and it is coming out in what I eat. Well...yesterday we got some shirts in that work gave us. I have been wearing a 3x, but they were out. Well, I got a 4x. And although it is a little big on me, it is not as big as it should be! I also bought some 3x mens shirts to wear for winter yesterday. I didn't try them on until I got home, and they are getting tight around the middle! This has to stop. I cannot continue to just keep getting bigger and bigger. So I tried hard to sit down and take a look at myself and what I want, without self pity or self recrimination. Here is what I came up with:

1) I want to be healthy. Not just skinny, because you can be skinny and not healthy, but fit and healthy.

2) There has to be a balance. Overeating makes you fat, but starving doesn't work either. I have to find my balance.

3) Exercise is a must. I cannot be healthy without exercise. Period.

Okay, I know. These revelations are nothing new. I've probably posted them a thousand times in this group before. But evidently there is something to it, or I wouldn't keep coming up with the same thing.

Sooooo...I'M BACK!! I hope you can accept me back into your warm graces yet again. I know I can't do this without your support, as I keep figuring out every time I stop posting. To all my friends here who keep taking me back despite my craziness...1fralick, JacobsMommy, Jennifer,Nasus, just to name a few...thank you for sticking by me. Maybe one of these days I will get the hang of it.

Okay, enough babbling. Here I go again....

HUGS!

M'Chelle
288/288/283 (5lbs at a time)

[Jen]

Hi M'Chelle! I was thinking about you the other day, I guess you heard me wondering where you've been. I'm sorry to hear that things haven't been great but let's be positive and put all that negative stuff away. sept 11 was a bad day for everyone in so many different ways. i'm glad you're back!

[2ofMe]

Bonnieangel: I am sooo happy to "see" a face from a year ago when I originally found this site. I haven't posted here in ages either. I was getting my nerve up to "show my face" again.

I've been lurking and wanted to send a call out to some long-time friends like you, MITZIEX6 and ITALIAN MAMA to name a couple. I envy the determination of those who have stuck with it and didn't let a slip up stop them. (I, on the other hand, let a little slip up turn into a big one and gained the nearly 30 pounds back.)

The people here are sooo understanding, yet I haven't posted because I feel like such a failure. I lurk so I can hopefully keep from gaining more. So, come back and take the support that everyone is so willing to share. This really IS the most caring place, isn't it?

I am really glad to have you back. I wish you all the motivation and determination to conquer your challenge once and FOR ALL!

Annie

[nasus40]

I am still here. and so glad to see you both!!! the coffee is always on and the table is cleared. sit a spell and get your bearings(only a min) then lets get up and running!!! we have been a bit slow lately but this should pick right up now!!!

[barbygirl43]

Welcome back. I think a lot of us fell off the wagon at the same time and we're all finding our way back "home."

I too was just thinking about you the other day. I was thinking I need to get my tae bo tape out and start doing it in the mornings (even if I have to do it in the den in front of the family) and it reminded me of you and your determination to get through the tape.

Good luck and I'm glad you're back. I know you always helped to brighten my day and keep me motivated.
Dawnyal

[1fralick]

Well I am so glad to see you all!!!!

I wonder and worry about missing faces alot.

M'Chelle and Annie Huge HUGS!!

[nikolas]

Welcome back. I think you are very brave to come in and tell us what happened.

Even though I am a lurker more than a poster, I find that just reading the posts give me strength.

We are all in this together and can do it together.

[SusanTaw]

HEY....WELCOME BACK TO M'CHELLE AND 2OF ME !!

GLAD TO SEE YOU GALS ARE STILL AROUND .
NOW SHOW YOURSELF MORE OFTEN.
SEPT 11TH AFFECTED A LOT OF US, ME INCLUDED.
I LIVE AND WORK RIGHT HERE IN NEW YORK CITY.
BUT RIGHT NOW, WE HAVE TO GET BACK TO OUR
WORKING 'PROGRAMS' WITH THE HOLIDAYS JUST
ON THE HORIZON, BECKONING US TO "BE MERRY
AND JOLLY" (TRANSLATE......EAT AND EAT!!).

PLEASE COME OUT OF LURKDOM MORE OFTEN AND
SHARE UPS AND DOWNS WITH US.

[2ofMe]

SusanTaw: Thanks for the welcome. I recall how close you said you are to the destruction. It has to be scary. I hope all of New York knows that whether we come from Michigan, Alaska, Texas, or wherever, we all sympathize and at least "feel" closer.

I must confess that I haven't been trying very hard on the weight loss front. I lost my way after losing over 25 pounds and getting just too darned tired of obsessing about eating a little food (when I'm trying to lose) and obsessing about eating what I want (when I don't care how much I weigh). So, I'm back to square one - plus. I've struggled with sleep apnea and thought if I lost weight, I could alleviate the problem, but I never had the energy to try to lose. I'd go to work, come home, make dinner, and veg out.

Yesterday I got a CPAP (sleep) machine. (I wish it had a different name - sounds like a vibrator or something. ) So last night was the first night I tried to sleep with it. I didn't make it the whole night, but I noticed a small difference already. I woke up this morning without a dull, foggy, headache. (These headaches lasted all day, everyday. Hmm . . . maybe I'll be a more pleasant person now! ) Now I'm hoping that I'll get enough sleep to have more energy and will be able to pick my butt up and get it moving.

I've been lurking because I haven't had a lot to say (you know, with all that vegging I've been doing). Still would love to hear from some of our old friends (you know who you are).

Susan, I'm glad that you're still hanging in there and posting for those of us who've fallen into lurkdom. I hope all is well with you. Soooo, is everyone prepared for the Holidays? I might be ready when it's almost over.

2ofMe (Annie)

[Jenniffer]

*hugs bonnieangel*

Sometimes words aren't needed...just a hug.

[SusanTaw]

'TWAS THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS
AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE
COOKIES AND CANDY CANES WERE LURKING ABOUT...
THEY TEMPTED US AND CALLED OUT OUR NAMES, THEY INVITED US TO TAKE JUST " ONE BITE",,,

oh....I could write a whole poem on the
temptations facing us this week....wrap
a gift, take a bite!! Go shopping, sample
a free taste!! Clean the house (clean out
the fridge!! Buy an item, sip this new
egg nog!!

OK...guys and gals
We gotta get tough, without taking
Santa hostage and tell all those lil
elves offering us food this week that
WE ARE ON PROGRAM THIS WEEK!!!
so shove the shushi away...
bottle the egg nog..
can the candy..

WE CAN DO IT
WE CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN

[Sandi]

Little miss BonnieAngel, how nice to see you back. You have smoked me out of lurking (although since it took me a month to find this post, you can see I haven't even been doing much of that!!).

Why is it that we keep getting on and off the health roller coaster? And I say "we" because I am right there with you. I have gained back almost 10 lbs. When I am doing good, you couldn't sway me with my favorite treat, but when I doing bad, any junk will do. It's such a mindset. What do people who eat healthy consistently know that we don't know? What's the secret?

I too want what you posted. To be Healthy and Fit. Skinny won't do anymore, I want to feel good and be healthy. I want to set a good example for Jacob. I want....I could go on for days. But actions speak louder than words.

I really thought about this the other day and I know how hard it is when I lug Jacob around and he weighs 30 lbs. Well this person I am carrying around weighs 145 lbs. Think about it. The extra weight I am carrying around is like carrying around a 145 lbs person!! How great would it feel to put that person down. So I named my person Bertha!! (Sure hope I don't offend anyone) And, she must be put down.

I'll be back after Christmas and we'll tackle this together!!! All of us!!

Hello to everyone else!!!

Merry Christmas!!!!

[SusanTaw]

SANDI...
Here in New York, the NY Mets Baseball
team have a mascot named....
BIG BERTHA.....and she is a very big big
gal in a bikini bathing suit and wearing
a Mets baseball cap!! she is a cartoon
character created by Bill Gallo, a well-known cartoonist and sports writer.

Good luck in getting rid of Bertha!