Overcoming fear. Well, I don’t fear a lot of things but I have this thing about waves. I think I get it from my mother. I have dreams about tsunamis. I really fear large crashing waves. It practically stops my heart. But I’m a stong swimmer. All my life I have felt comfortable in the water. The ocean isn’t too different except that I don’t feel confident in the breakers (the crashing waves). Out past those and I feel great.
Well, part of the trialthon in the fall is an open water swim. It doesn’t worry me at all because it’s a bay swim (and although it will be gross), I doubt I’ll actually have waves. However, if I want to continue doing tris, I need to get over this fear.
My college has an aquatics center. I’ve taken a sailing class with the Cute Boyfriend there and it’s really great. This summer I signed up for surfing.
A fat girl surfing?
What the heck was I thinking?
I told everyone I knew that I was learning to surf because if I didn’t, I knew I would chicken out. I talked myself out of it (and then back into it) several times this morning. I drove to the center. The class was about 20-25 very athletic young people. Most girls in bikinis.
The instructors were four young men. They were great guys. We went over safety drills, how to signal for help, difference between a shark fin and dolphin fin, etc. At one point, they were speaking and the teaching assistants went out into the waves to demonstrate. The waves started getting bigger and I was taking big gulps of air. I realized that I felt like I was going to burst into tears. Okay, clam down. You’re just panicking. I thought.
As if on cue, one of the instructors said, “It’s your job to let us know when things we’re going to fast. If you need us to hold your hand from the sand to the first time you catch a wave, we will. We will literally walk with you hand in hand if you need it.”
I said, “That would be me. I need it. I’m a chicken.” The class laughed.
The instructor looked at me and said, “You will probably be the first person up on a board.”
Then, the ocean didn’t seem so bad. He had confidence that I'd be able to do this, so why don't I have cofidence in me? I was going to be able to get out there. I was going to conquer my fears. It seems silly but sometimes it made me realize that I don’t have to go at it alone and that made all the difference.
We didn’t get into the water the first day. Next week begins actual water activities. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have learned to surf. Landlocked myself but learned on a vacy to Hawaii. I absolutely loved it and I think you will to. There is nothing like riding that wave.
Good for you Jessica. As long as I lived in California, I never had an inclination to surf. I think it probably came from bad swimming experiences in the ocean when I was young. Although I love to snorkel in the ocean, big waves make me nervous if I can't touch the ground.
The thing I do that you don't see big girls doing is hiking. It is great, mostly it is guys hiking. I don't think we should let our weight limit us so you keep on doing what you do
My First Surf Class
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I can't wait to hear more!
