[motivation86]

This diet has been making me feel miserable. I want to lose weight, but I feel like I'm loosing myself esteem. Today was a beautiful day so I decided to wear a blazer, and I felt great in it. Everything was good this morning, I went to school, came home and decided to go to the mall. I've been wanting a jean jacket for the longest, so I bought one and a couple of other things. Well anyway in the dressing room I was looking at my self in the mirror and my body looked horrible. I felt like crying. My stomach looked jiggly and huge. When I left Lane Bryant, I felt sad. Everyone in the mall looked so thin and in shape and there goes me the "fat girl". Before this I never felt like this, I seriously felt huge and out of place today, and since it was really nice outside, there were so many girls wearing really cute fashionable outfits, and I thought the blazer I was wearing was nice, but I felt embarrassed in it. I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I'm so unhappy, all I can think about is not being this size. Some may take this as good thing, but it sucks. I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow so hopefully that will make me happy, because I feel like crap right now.:sad:

[Glasgowgirl]

Hey there...dont be sad, losing weight and all that entails is an uphill battle. Its never easy and no matter what size or shape you are you could spend all day comparing yourself to others and you will always find someone you think is better, skinner, more toned, prettier....its really not worth the sweat. I know that changing rooms and malls can be crule and unusual punishment while trying to lose weight but you have a beauty inside you that is only yours, we all have it is what makes us special and individual and no clothing or three way mirror will ever change that. Sometimes we all have days where we feel uncomfortable in our own skin and these are the days we must turn insdie to our spirit to remind us how very special you are. Dont be sad, be proud that you have the strength to take control of your life and your health. Take care doll. You will get there and we will see you through it.

[kykaree]

I say it all the time, but losing weight is easier if you try to come from a position of self love. I know it's hard when you look in the mirror and see a tiny head on top of billows of fat. That's how I felt for the longest time.

I can't really say it any better than GlasgowGirl. being fat doesn't make you a bad person.

Your first line was that your diet is making you miserable. What sort of plan are you on, have you got any support in real life? Is there anything we can do to help?

[motivation86]

Originally Posted by kykaree

I say it all the time, but losing weight is easier if you try to come from a position of self love. I know it's hard when you look in the mirror and see a tiny head on top of billows of fat. That's how I felt for the longest time.

I can't really say it any better than GlasgowGirl. being fat doesn't make you a bad person.

Your first line was that your diet is making you miserable. What sort of plan are you on, have you got any support in real life? Is there anything we can do to help?

I don't have any support. My family and friends are good, but they don't know what I'm really going through, how I struggle everyday, how I drive myself crazy each week. I really want a nutritionist, because I'm not feeling good about myself. I need someone to motivate me and help me when I'm feeling like crap, but its just been me, and nobody understands. This forum has been been great to me though, whenever I need advice I come here, and you girls know exactly what to say to make me feel better.

[mudbugs]

awww, please don't feel that way. I have been in that boat. And I blame it all on how today's society makes us feel like worthless human beings unless we are a size 2.

Are those Size 2 girls you are seeing any better than you? Can they sing or write or paint or sew or WHATEVER your talent is better than you can? Their size 2 bodies might be the only thing in the world they have going for them.

You have made really great progress so far...don't give up yet. You know how tough it is to lose this weight and how miserable it can be sometimes, especially when you see those size 2's sitting in the mall eating cheeseburgers and shakes and then walking across the hall and buying another pair of size 2 jeans. But, I really believe that what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger..

[Misti in Seattle]

Hello Motivation! Thanks for being honest about your feelings! I'm sure most of us experience them at times, and our society does tell us we are worthless if we are fat.

I am going to step out on a limb here and say I do not agree that focusing on ourselves and "self love" is the key. The more we focus on self, the more defeating it is. Of course we have to work at our healthful lifestyle and eating; I don't mean that. But if we put our focus in life on others and being and encouragement and blessing to them, we will find ourselves not so concerned and discouraged with self.

Believe me, I understand! You and I started out at close to the same weight and are still really close to the same. So I know exactly what you are feeling. But we have to choose whether to let that get us down or to try really hard to maintain a positive attitude and just get out there and do it regardless of our feelings.

And hey... I'll meet you in One-derland by this time next year! Deal?

[healthy_wanna_b]

Being around thin pretty girls use to make me really dpressed too. I dropped out of high school partly because of that and I never would go to the mall or beach or anywhere where I knew I would be surronded my skinny chicks.
But somehow I began to love me, for who I was, all 320 pounds of me. I did this before I started on the weight loss journey and I honestly can't tell you how I did it or when. But at one point I just began to accept & love myself.
You really do have to be content with yourself as a person. Yes you might not be a size 2 but you are a wonderful person all the same. And you are trying to better yourself, you have lost alot already.
Something I like to do is watch those tiny skinny girls sit and eat a big ole greasy piece of pizza from the food court and know that I eat wayyy better then they do. Yes they are skinny, and I will probably never look as good as they do but I will be HEALTHY!

[chaoskitty]

Hi Misti! I love reading your GREAT comments. The motivate me (even thought I'm not the recipient of your entries) so I'm sure there are many lurkers as well who get great advice from what you write.

And Motivation86 - I agree that putting our focus on others is probably the key. In a round about way, it will come back to us getting healthier in the long run. I know I'm worth the extra effort in my dieting and exercise, because then I can have the energy and good will to be a blessing to my family and friends. I can also be an example. And losing weight, getting healthier all the time, is the best example in the world to others in the same boat.

Here are my only words of advice - try to learn as much as you can about the diet you are on. Some diets just don't work for everyone so you may have to try a few before you come upon the one that just right. I've been on them all and found the best one for me (due mostly to my gastric bypass) is to eat 6 small meals (around 200-300) every day, spaced about 3 hours apart. And of course to exercise or move more.

Small changes are best - over a long period of time. And please don't worry about what you see in the mirror right now. Make sure you take pictures for every 10 pounds you lose. You won't regret it and in fact, as you get close to your goal, you will be proud to show off your compilation of pictures to others - it's an awesome feeling to see where you were - and how far you've come. It validates all your hard work.

And Misti - I hope your feet are doing better!

[Misti in Seattle]

GREAT comments, Kitty! LOL I laugh as when I start eating right and getting in shape I get comments from all over the place telling me how I should be doing it... this diet or that, etc.... especially since I do NOT want diets or programs but simply a healthful lifestyle, planning my own meals and workouts etc. and of course great support such as if found at 3FC! But we are all different so some may need more structure... that would drive me NUTS and discourage me LOL.

Thanks for asking about my feet... they still hurt LOL but they are better now that the new sneakers are getting broken in AND I added really nice insoles!

I also appreciate what you said about being a blessing to others... AND I find that when I actually DO that I end up receiving more back in blessings too because people DO respond to being loved and cared for!!

I sure don't mean to sound like some super positive person... believe me I too look at this closet full of too small clothes and wish. In fact LOL I actually bought two gorgeous skirts on clearance this week, neither of which I can wear.. yet! LOL but when I do get there I am going to have the start of a beautiful wardrobe. LOL my best friend is laughing as I have let my very short blond hair grow out and she says when I get skinny I will be a tall thin blonde LOL... of course I will also be pushing 60 years old but hey, I take what I can get. Perhaps by my 60th birthday... May of 2007... I can be skinny!!

Oh and Motivation... stick around 3FC!!! WE will support you and understand, even when your 3D friends don't! Also, let me encourage you to get into some of the challenges... they are a great source of motivation! LOL I still can't believe I signed up for the walking Coast to Coast one... figured I am committing myself to sticking with this for a while

[veggielover]

Originally Posted by motivation86

I don't have any support. My family and friends are good, but they don't know what I'm really going through, how I struggle everyday, how I drive myself crazy each week. I really want a nutritionist, because I'm not feeling good about myself. I need someone to motivate me and help me when I'm feeling like crap, but its just been me, and nobody understands. This forum has been been great to me though, whenever I need advice I come here, and you girls know exactly what to say to make me feel better.

sweetie.. nutritionists wont make you feel better. You need to pick your chin up and realize that you're doing all you can, taking little steps at a time. Like the rest of us, you're probably going through something we've all experienced for a while. And this is why we continue to do what we do, because every time we make an attempt to be healthier, we have made ourselves just a bit happier. Don't care about other mall rats hanging out at the food court, devouring pizza while wearing size -15 pants. You have your salad and tell yourself that eventually you'll find your happy place and be happy with who you are. It's what we're all aiming for.

[veggielover]

Originally Posted by Misti in Seattle

Believe me, I understand! You and I started out at close to the same weight and are still really close to the same. So I know exactly what you are feeling. But we have to choose whether to let that get us down or to try really hard to maintain a positive attitude and just get out there and do it regardless of our feelings.

And hey... I'll meet you in One-derland by this time next year! Deal?

Misti always says the sweetest things. You have to see that we all care about each others progress right? If you don't have any support from your family or friends, you have plenty here.

[Misti in Seattle]

Awwww thanks Veggielover! Believe me I can be a real whiner at times!! Just ask my best friend LOL! The support here is a huge motivator for me and keeps me encouraged and going!

[KristenElizabeth]

I feel reall depressed too like i can't lose the weight and like i just want to give up. I am really stressed out and i just feel fat and ugly

[Misti in Seattle]

I am aware of a fantastic set of message tapes called Slaying Your Goliaths that deals with dealing with the "Giants" in our lives. I can't post the link because I want to be careful about not violating any rules here... but if anyone would like to listen to these free online, please email me and I will send you the link. Note these are from a Christian perspective and are by a pastor; however, even if you are not a Christian there is probably a lot here to inspire you. They are done with a lot of humor and have been a wonderful encouragement and inspiration to me.

[veggielover]

Originally Posted by KristenElizabeth

I feel reall depressed too like i can't lose the weight and like i just want to give up. I am really stressed out and i just feel fat and ugly

no.. please please look at the bright things! I find that goals are easily accomplished if aesthetics WeREn't concerned! In other words, dieting and exercising are two things that I do to improve my health. That's the number one priority. Now losing weight is just an "added extra" advantage to it. It becomes easier as you are NOT expecting to lose weight- I realized that a lot of people just find it as a way to measure progress. Hence, if you don't see a dramatic change over a period of time, you'd be depressed about your wasted effort. But was it really wasted???

If you exercised and you ate healthily, didn't it at all make you feel better about yourself??? Don't give up. Like Misti said, it's about self-love. You really need to appreciate yourself for the measures you've taken to improve your health. If you didn't depend on the scale to spit out a smaller number, maybe you'd feel a bit better. I wish you the best. I'm sure we all would love to see you reach your goal.