[actrish]

Hi everybody. My name is Trish and I had RNY back in 1999. I did very well with it (despite it being done on April Fools Day) and went from over 300lbs down to 110 and a size 2. I had a hernia repair in 2000 and life was great.

Then I got my sex drive back and it all went to crap. What really screwed with my head and body was being put on Depo-Provera. It made me depressed and completely mental. I mean coo-coo for cocoa puffs, wacked out CRAZY! I was told that I HAD to get on b.c. because of the risk due to surgery. Ok, bad choice.

I had a period everyday for a year. I would become ENRAGED at the slightest thing after having the shot. No man could handle me. What the heck!? I finally get feeling sexy again, slim down and toned up and actually ***get**** a sex drive------- and then I hate men!

I stopped taking the shot in 02. I felt waaay better. I started sleepwalking again and binge eating in the night and not remembering. So, a new doc said to try Topamax.


Then in 04 I got preggo. I just had my first and only child in July of 05. I stopped the Topamax for fear of not being able to gain enough weight and hurting the baby with the drug. After pregnancy I lost a little baby weight, but in the last few months, I have found it again. I just stepped on the scale tonight and found that I am a whopping 189lbs. OMG I want to cry.

My hope is that I am eligible for revision surgery. I have avoided thinking about the sharp pains I have in my gut when I lie down with the baby just because I am so disappointed in myself for gaining the weight back. I am so glad I found this site. It has inspired me to take the steps I need to get my life back.

Please keep me in your prayers. I am so glad to be here.

[indigo child]

Trish, I want to welcome you to the forum. I'm sorry about everything you've gone through, but truthfully, 189 lbs, although it may seem like a lot to you, doesn't seem overwhelming to me. You originally lost 190 lbs ~ now you've not even gained half that back and you've just had a baby! Not really sure why you feel you need surgery again?

Anyway, maybe you could clarify a little more what's in your heart and mind when you say these things? We're here to listen!

[hubs]

Hi Trish, I actually thought about you first thing as I got up this morning. I read your post yesterday but wanted to mull it over before I responded.

First of all, and predictably for ANYONE who knows me even a little my condemnation of Depo Provera is absolute. Why this drug is still on the market I cannot say and the **** its created in the lives of so many women is horrible. What I'm not clear about however, is how you see it tying in to your health, your weight specifically. I have posted somewhere some of the post Depo Provera health issues I suffered and I'm interested in hearing more of your conclusions about your own health.

You say you took Topamax as well. Was that as a mood stabilizer to get things back under control from the lability issues that were created by the DP? I know you went off it for the pregnancy but are you back on it now?

The good news is, you're still in onederland Trish, and you're a new mother.

Revision is a big step for someone who would not be considered morbidly obese despite your feelings that things are out of control and no doubt on some level they are. I don't know you at all Trish and so I don't know what the food issues were for you before the first surgery. But like Indi said, it seems a little premature to be thinking about a further interventionist medical procedure when what's happening with your body may not be a medical crisis.

In other words, this may be one of those crossroads in life that require a 'non-medical' approach but more that you revisit some other issues. For instance, the kinds of foods you're eating. I struggled for years after the depo-provera with each of my pregnancy weights and I was very lucky to get pregnant. I lost a lot of weight while pregnant, had 9 and 10 pound babies and then around 2-3 months after giving birth dramatically gained it all back and then some. My insulin metabolic response was extremely impacted by the change in hormones, my estrogen levels and more. I'd also had a pituitary tumour working after the Depo Provera went to town on my pituitary gland. It was struggle, struggle, struggle.

I had two WLS Trish and lost no weight with either due to my metabolic issues that didn't just go away because of the surgery. When confronted with the fact that I was still over 300 pounds and STILL had to figure it out myself I was very angry for a long time and felt very much a victim of my own body.

The point I'm trying to make here is, I don't think things are necessarily as out of control as they look and feel at this moment.

So here's what I'd suggest if you can possibly do it. You know how so many clinics require people to go onto a program and lose a certain amount prior to surgery? Get yourself back to that. If you can do it Trish, put yourself onto the program and walk yourself through it AS IF you've had a second surgery.

Hard I know, and it puts the thing back firmly into your hands but the magic of that is... that's where it is anyway.

Pay VERY strict attention to your carbs. The more you eat (carb wise) the more you're going to want to eat. Reach for proteins and if that doesn't satisfy reach for more protein. But dump the carbs. Go as deep into that as you possibly can including everything from fruits to cereals to sweetened drinks to grains to breads and even carby veggies like carrots, peas and spuds.

I'm sure you'll get a ton of support here no matter what you do Trish. Even to get through this discovery that you've gained as much as you have. But you CAN turn it around. I'm sure of that.

[invisigoth]

Great post Hubs! I'm kind of new to the scene, but in my WLS meeting last month the nurse brought up this issue. Someone who stopped going for the yearly check-ups called the office and asked if they could have a revision because the person gained weight back. She said that the doc rarely does revisions, only when it has been done wrong in the first place. The doc believed that most of a persons post-op weight gain can be handled by going back to what we learned when we first had the surgery. If you liked the doctor that you originally had the surgery with, maybe you can contact the doctor for a check-up.

[Megsmom]

Boy am I glad I read your post. I've been on the pill and am tired of the break thru bleading. My appt is coming up and was going to ask to be given the shot. Won't do that now!!!!

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You just had a baby. I don't know if your breastfeeding or not but I know that also has a lot to do with your weightloss. If you're not breastfeeding then like hubs said you can go back to your basics. Having been thru the surgery and loosing all that weight you know what you need to do and once you set your mind to it you can do it. Protein Protein Protein. I had my surgery 2 1/2 years ago and lost 157 pounds. Now its an everyday struggle to make this surgery work. I basically live on a low fat version of the Atkins diet. All protein very little cheese and lots of veggies. You can do this one day at a time. You just have to ask yourself everytime you start to eat something you know your really shouldn't, how bad do you really want that cookie. I know with me I just picture that lady in the commercial walking down the street with the donuts on her butt and it just changes my mind!!! LOL

Enjoy your baby and just get back to the basics. One day at a time you can do this.

[gracefulloser]

I love Depo Provera. It's been nothing but a godsend to me.

Stef