[superchar42]

Just wondering if there's anyone else who's "out" and doesn't mind sharing and all.

[Goddess Jessica]

I'm out. I'm a bisexual and in a LT relationship with my boyfriend, AB. We have a real closed-minded LBGT community out here so I don't really participate much. Typical, "There is no such thing as bi" attitude.

[lizziness]

glbt friendly. considered myself bi since high-school - wound up marrying a man which while surprised at the time - I am very happy about I remember the feeling of not quite fitting in highschool when i first came out. lost some straight friends. my gay friends were supportive but I think there is always a feeling of - pick one.
I just felt like I would never not be with someone because of their race or culture - so why would I hinder myself to one gender? I mean, it's hard enough to find someone to love and make it work with - why cut out so much of the world based on that?

[squeaker]

glbt friendly <- I am going with that too. I am straight, but one of my dear, sweet friends (and on going joke of "pretend boyfriend") is gay. Even went to NYC for Gay Pride Weekend 2 years ago - which was a blast, even if all the cute boys had no interest in me. But he moved, so I don't get to see him very often.

[Wanttolossalot]

I consider myself lesbian, however, I am married to a great guy! I think I always knew I was different than the other girls I was friends with. I remember even as a young child when I was old enough to fantasize , it was usually about woman. However, coming from a very conservative family and not wanting to stir anything up I took the so called "proper" route and dated and eventually married a truely great guy. It just turned out his fantasy and mine were the same. He wanted to see me with a woman and I was very happy to abligue. I have dated a few woman, but now have one whom I am very happy to call my girl. My hubby is so great about it, knowing that I am also in love with her. Unfortunately we do not get to spend as much time together as we would like, but for now it works for us, and I only drive myself crazy thinking of how it could be. I get to have my cake and eat it too. Very lucky girl am I!
Virginia

[superchar42]

That's really awesome that you have a husband so supportive.

..I was really scared that no one was going to respond.

I'm bi as well, I've known I was "different" since I was a kid.

[Goddess Jessica]

Virginia,

How interesting! I'm doing a documentary about polyamory right now.

SuperChar,

Sorry I didn't respond sooner. The above documentary is sucking the life blood out of me right now. I swear I thought I wanted to be a filmmaker but now I'm starting to change my mind. Are you in a relationship now?

[sine nomine]

i'm bi. i'm married to a poly guy, and i'm vaguely poly. i say vaguely because i have a lot of jealousy issues with it. he started seeing someone last may, and after a lot of drama it turned out to be okay. then she and i developed a mutual crush and i started seeing her too. this is even more complicated because she's part of a triad and her boyfriend had a meltdown in late june. so at the moment she and i are building a relationship and she and chris are building a relationship and when her boyfriend (who also has a girlfriend outside the triad) gets his head out, we'll move on. so yeah, it's complicated -- she ends up in two triads, a primary one (her boyfriend and his wife) and a secondary one (my husband and me). even though her boyfriend has a girlfriend outside the triad, the three of them consider themselve to be in a commitment that's equivalent to them all being married to each other.

i said it was complicated.

i'm lucky, though. both of my sweeties are extremely supportive of me being whatever size i am. they both tell me i'm pretty even though i don't think they're right, and they give me lots of affection and cuddles and love. they know that i'm going to do optifast (my husband's paying for what insurance doesn't cover) and they support me in that, too. i've also got a group of friends that i've known for more than a decade who are behind me in this.

so yeah, i'm bi. it only took me six zillion words to say that.

deb

[ajandpj99]

OK- yes I was evesdropping and now I have a question - GLBT? What does that stand for? Big dork that I am.

I have to say I am jealous of all of you that get your cake etc. I am apparently straight though have gotten many offers from women. Being the jealous type - I have avoided the 3 some for fear that #3 and hubby will prefer each other without me. That would suck! But I am curious to the point that once I reach my goal weight - so that self esteem is highest thereby reducing the jealous factor - I just may broch the topic. I am sure hubby wouldnt mind the 2 on 1 or even just watching - of course it would be just sex since it is all I can do to keep 1 relationship going. Beside hubby would be jealous of me spending time with #3 without him. And #3 has to be female for his sake.

Ultimate fantasy includes Hubby's best friend and his wife in a nice 4 some. I know she is willing. I could live with them and the 4 of us would make a nice family, too bad she wont leave her actual family - I know he would love it here.

Blah Blah - that was at least a dime.

Later

[FishWoman]

Originally Posted by Goddess Jessica

Virginia,

How interesting! I'm doing a documentary about polyamory right now.

Jessica - I have a question for you. In my experiences with friends/acquaintances who said they were polyamorous, it was typically an *excuse* to allow the man in the relationship to 1) have two girlfriends, and 2) watch his girlfriends have sex. I personally have never seen a polyamorous relationship with 2 men and 1 woman. Even where the situation is 2 couples (M/F and M/F) it was always the M's engaging in activity with the F's and the F's engaging in activity with each other.

In your experiences, have you come across many, or any polyamorous relationships where the dynamic included more men than women? Or where the men were comfortable with same gender relationships within their group dynamic?

I am really not trying to say anything bad about anyone's realtionships, and I apologize if I am coming across in the wrong manner. My experiences are certainly not a broad representative view, and may very well have been different from what the rest of you have been a part of.

[Goddess Jessica]

Currently, I have interviewed two groups where there are more men than women.

My first group is a Primary Relationship (or a Vee) between a M & F that are married (for 8 years). She has a secondary relationship with a M for the last 3 years. He has had several secondary relationships but nothing that has lasted very long. Her secondary does not live with them.

My second group is another Primary Relationship between a M & F and she has a secondary relationship with a Male. The Primary M has recently become part of a triad (MFF) but still maintains a primary relationship with her. She hopes to move the triad into a quad but it's a very new relationship now.

I also had a group of 2F & 2M and a mess of kids. The women were not bisexual (to my suprise) but the men were.

I think that it's true that you will find more MFF relationships than MMF. My personal belief is not that it's because of the man that these relationships happen but because women are more able to cope with jealousy and expression of feelings to make it work and men are more possesive and would rather make it work with just one other person. Of course, I could be wrong.

The women that I've interviewed so far have been amazing. Years ago, I met one poly family where the women were clearly in love with this one man and they would just do anything to be with him. It wasn't a pleasant situation to see. However, the women who I have met as part of this project and strong and outgoing and usually the driving force in the decision to be poly. My favorite is a poly woman who is a lesbian, so she had a triad of FFF, one of her partners is bi has a secondary relationship with a man. She's happy because it makes her partner happy.

[FishWoman]

Thank you for your response. It is nice to see that many of these relationships are not all about a man having the power and the women just trying to please. I see what you are saying about maybe women being more able to express/deal with emotions and feelings and perhaps not being as possessive as men might be.

Good luck with your documentary!

[superchar42]

It's so wonderful to see such diversity on the board, and such support.
I'm sure that there's board members with views that are contrary and/or not supportive of the glbt (gay, lesbian, bi, trans*) people... the fact that there's no one on here saying that we're all going to **** blah blah blah is amazing.
On no other message board have I seen this amount of respect.

Kudos to all of you. *sends out happy vibes to everyone*

[ajandpj99]

It is either because we are just so awesome - wink - or it may be because as women we get enough grief and as overweight women we understand prejudice as well as any group.

I think we are just awesome.

Besides - who would frequent a thread called Alternachicks and not have an open mind? I am sure there are lurkers out there that would love to stir up trouble but then we would have to hunt them down.

Anyway - I am firm believer in live and let live - I am a big dork and no one seems to hold that against me - so why would I or anyone think themselves above another or think it is ok to chastise that which is not understood?

Those people are the ones that have a crispy future - not anyone I have met here.

Regardless of my being straight or not - I agree with the idea that gender is subjective to our society - that as pure energy beings - that I believe us to be outside the confines of humanity - there is no gender - and the concept of pairs being the only acceptable relationship is also subjective - for if you are happy and the rest of your family is happy and no one is excluded or treated as less than a full partner - that is awesome - not to mention hard to find - so you are all very lucky to have what you have. (It is all I can do to keep 1 happy let alone 2 so you go girls!)

Trish

[Dawnlizbeth]

I tell people I'm a lesbian, but only from the waist up! lol.....I don't much have any interest in doing anything below the waist but I do think that breasts are just great & I have kissed a few women & enjoyed it. I've kissed one or two who kiss the way I always thought women would kiss (sort of weak, wimpy & slobbery) and did not enjoy that at all! I guess I like women that kiss in a more Dominant or masculine sort of way if that makes sense? Not that I would ever let on that I did not like the way a friend kissed of course...and none of them are on this list or ever will be so thats not an issue. I do TRY to be polite. Anyways. I love my boyfriend madly but I do enjoy "looking" a bit & I'm very grateful that he does not mind as I've had some bf's who are SO threatened by that. I tried the Poly thing for awhile with someone that I was really into who said it was going to be Poly or nothing & in the end it did not work out. I admire people who can refrain from jealousy and are that good at time management but I sure can't do that. I find ONE relationship is hard enough to keep up with. Two? I have noticed that in my Poly friendships 3/4's of the ones around here seem to be quite unbalanced. As in, either the Primary or Secondary girl seems to be resentful about not getting adequate needs met. I've met one Quad so far where everyone truly seemed happy, in love & balanced. Other than that??? Oh yes, I tried a three some once when I was much younger. It used to be one of my favorite fantasies. Alas, that killed the fantasy. The man payed too much attention to me & his girlfriend got really ticked of, got out of bed & then sat on the floor smoking a cigarette. Then she started arguing with her husband wich of course ended the whole thing.
Anyways, I get a good laugh whenever I am out with my bf because if some hot chick walks by we both end up noticing & then we notice that we both were looking & immediately start laughing...its fun.