My arms are holding me back.....

  • Yeah....

    So....on the 21st of June...we will be leaving to go to our 4 day outdoor music thing...."Country Fest". We got together with our friends this last weekend and decided on who was bringing what for food,etc. All of my girlfriends were telling me about these little cami's they bought,etc.....for "The Fest".

    I am going shopping next Monday for "fest clothes"....and I too want to buy the little cami's, cap sleeved shirts, etc.....BUT...my stinkin' arms are holding me back. Granted they've gotten a lot better....but man...they still are sooo flabby and I have tons of stretch marks,etc on them...uggggghhhh. I really want to buy some cute little cami's, tanks, etc...because it's always way HOT there...but I also am scared to death to show my arms. I want to look cute but I don't want to feel self-conscious about my arms the whole time I"m there. I just don't know what to do. I've really kicked up my exercise and heavy-d up on my upper body weights/exercise....like magically i"m going to tone my arms in a week.... .

    I know this sounds so superficial.....but it's been eating away at me. We do have a similar fest the end of July..except it's called Rock Fest instead..(classic rock music)....maybe I should wait and break out the cami's there...(I'd have six weeks to work on my arms). Errrrrr...I just wish I had more self esteem.

    Ok..enough on the arms...hope everyone is well...talk to you soon.

    Luv,
    Olivia
  • I feel exactly how you feel, Olivia! Call it superficial. I am so self-conscious of my arms. My arms are percentage-wise the fattest part of my body! Yep, that's what the report said after my body fat analysis. Shouldn't that be my hips? or thighs?

    I always admire a larger woman who's comfortable in a tank top, but I'm not there yet. I will wear them when we go on hikes in 90 degree weather, but that's about it! For now I have to stick to clothes that I'm comfortable in. Just so I'm not preoccupied with thinking about myself all the time...and how I look... and what people are thinking... (probably nothing, btw!)

    When we went to Hawaii a couple years ago I was the same weight I am right now. And I did end up wearing tank tops and bathing suits. What made me feel better about my body was that I was very tan. I don't know if you go tanning, or use self tanner, but tan fat looks so much better than white fat! Or at least I convinced myself that it does!

    I don't want to tell you "hey, look, you've lost a ton of weight...I've seen your pictures...you're hot...wear a cami!...I'd wear one if I'd lost as much as you have...", because I know how you feel. Can you wear one out in public for a couple hours and see how you feel? Maybe you'd be more comfortable than you think.

    Have a blast, whatever you wear!!
  • Yeah, my arms bother me too. I have flab and stretch marks, etc. But I have recently tried telling myself that I have worked far too hard to be who I am now to let something like that hold me back. Also, I try to remember what the old me would think about the new me. Don't you think the old you (at 255 lbs) would have said "get over it - you look fabulous!"

    I also have noticed that even if I feel self-conscious about myself, acting like I don't and carrying myself like I don't makes a big difference. Believe me, no one else really scrutinizes your arms - so don't let them stop you.
  • I suffer from fat, flabby arms - not only because I'm obese, but because they run the family. So even when I lose weight, they will still be large.
    I used to NEVER wear tank tops, camis, spaghetti straps, halter tops when I was 100lbs lighter, I was too self-conscious about my arms. I wore t-shirts all the time.
    Finally, I got to a point, I figured I'm fat and I can't hide it so I might as well be comfortable. And since then I don't care what my arms look like. I have found all sorts of fun cute tops that look good (I especially love my halter top), flatter my figure, are comfortable, and make me feel feminine.
    Those are the important things... not what other people think. You should buy those cute tops and step outside your comfort zone. It is truly an empowering experience.
    Anyway, I'll bet you'll look good and are being harder on yourself than others would be. And if you try it, just remember you will not be the biggest person, you will not have the flabbiest arms, and you will not be wearing clothes that don't fit.
    Just go have a good time, be comfortable, and don't worry about what others *MIGHT* be thinking.
  • I know exactly how you feel, I have the exact same problem! I think my arms are the worst part of my body...i can deal with everything else, but my arms??? Uggh. Maybe someday i'll be brave enough not to care what other people think, but for some idiotic reason i do.

    Alicia
  • I have this problem too. Have you tried different shapes of shirt? On me, a halter top seems to somehow minimize my arms, whereas strappy tank tops don't. Racer Backs and tube tops with a tie that goes around the next work really well for me too.

    Experiment if you're really uncomfortable. I am having the exact same insecurity right now with wedding dresses - all the styles I love are strapless, but my ARMS. But I recognize that all I can do is lose weight, tone the muscles, and move on - so thats my plan.
  • How about getting some of those cute crocheted shrugs to wear with the cami's? Just a thought...BJF
  • Whatever you do don't try driving a scooter in a tank top....lemme tell ya - if I wasn't annoyed by my bat wings before. At 40 miles an hour they started flapping....EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE It's hard to steer with your elbows pinned to your sides. I don't reccommend it. The look on my face must have been priceless.
    I actually am getting some decent definition in my biceps and triceps when I flex. Now to figure out how to flex and ride at the same time. I did get a light jacket....easier to steer with all my arms.
  • Quote: Whatever you do don't try driving a scooter in a tank top....lemme tell ya - if I wasn't annoyed by my bat wings before. At 40 miles an hour they started flapping....EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE It's hard to steer with your elbows pinned to your sides.
    hehehe! Oh the image in my head - thanks for the giggle!
  • I hate my arms too but I wear tank tops and short sleeve shirts. I figure I can't hide that I'm fat, it is obvious I do keep willing my upper arms to thin out and I'm hoping they do.
  • I have bad arms, That woddle or whatever it's called is big on me. I don't know if it'll go away or not once I lose the weight I want to because I can see definition in my upperarm when I flex but the bottom still hangs. It's my biggest pet peeve about myself but I still wear tanks because it gets too hot not to. I don't do the little strappy's though. I wish I could. I don't know why I can wear a tank top but not the strappy ones my arms are still showing.
  • I feel your pain! My arms are the same way. I swear I have more stretch marks on my arms than on my stomach (after having 3, 10 pound babies). I've been trying to work on them too. In a month I get to wear a spaghetti strap dress in my brothers wedding! Ekkkkkkkkkkkkkk Needless to say I'm not looking forward to it.
  • Thanks everyone for all your input...I guess I'm not the only one that dislikes my arms..lol.... I think I'm going to take Mandalinn's idea and look for some halters,etc...I guess i've noticed that too...my arms are somewhat minimized in halters,etc. I'm just going to go shopping next week and "go with the flow"...I'll try some sleeveless things and go from there. I agree with the "we are our own worst critic' comments too..... Ok..I better run..i'll letcha all know what i pick out...I'll probably have some Country Fest pics to share too..when I get back. Ok..thanks again all..
    Luv,
    Liv
  • I wear cap sleeves, they seem to make my arms look smaller than longer length sleeved t's. I don't know the logic! And I have to agree, if you can get a little bit of a tan, that seems to make the stretch marks less noticeable. And have fun!!

    -Aimee
  • Hi!

    I'm right there with you! I've never liked my arms, especially my UPPER arms. My mom and my grandma BOTH were heavy and lost weight. They had big upper arms BEFORE losing weight and wavy upper arms AFTER they lost weight. I guess I'm destined to follow their path!

    I've heard mixed information on spot-reducing. Some info that I read says it is possible, and other research says you will lose weight starting with the places that you last added weight to your body. Places that have been heaviest longest take the longest to change. Anyone have any ideas on any of this?

    I HAVE lost some weight in my arms as I have lost weight in other parts of my body, but my arms and legs and belly remain the most stubborn areas for me regardless of how much I exercise. I'm hoping that when I lose my last 50 pounds that my arms will look better. Time will tell!

    Good luck to all of us!

    Cheryl