I keep a file of my weigh-in's. It goes back to 2001. I started here at the end of 2000, after Jacob was born. As I was updating my weights, I started looking back over the past 5 years. Here are the highs and lows..

2001
High: 311
Low: 273

2002
High: 293
Low: 269

2003
High: 308.5
Low: 276.5

2004
High: 323.4
Low: 284

2005
High: 329
Low: 308.8

Boy is it frustrating to see these numbers. After all this time, I have gotten nowhere!!!

Today I am track. But, boy talk about wasted years!

Hi Sandi, I was having similar thoughts today. Teapotdynamo (one of my heros!) and I were pretty close with wt and rate of wt loss last year. Then I stopped working my plan, put 20 lbs back on. She has not and is so close to goal. So I think about where I would be if I would have stayed on plan, but you know what....

IT DOESN'T MATTER!

I can't control my past. There ain't a darn tootin thing I can do about this wasted last year. The only thing I can get out of that is a lesson about not working the plan.

Regret is a strange and powerful thing. But don't look through it backward. Look through it forward. Imagine yourself next year. If you will be the same, then regret it in advance, get over it, and make some changes. Or you can imagine yourself in a different place and with a different life. Either way, you and I both know what to do.

WORK THE STINKING PLAN! Actually, they are excellent plans, but you know what I mean.

THe future is the only thing we can control, and the only way we can control it is with changes today.

April 7, 2007....who will you be?

I will be...ummm...I'll get back to you after I get the kidlets to school!

You're still here, picking yourself up and trying again after 5 years. That is persistence and it's something I really admire. Your determination is inspiring! Don't look at those numbers if they get you down, just focus on your goals. You can do it!

I know how you feel...I've been spinning my wheels for waaaaaay too long now! I'm hoping my current plan will make a difference!

So glad to see you havent given up! And I hope you never do!

Hello! I joined here just after Christmas 2000 I've lost 50 pounds and gained it back many a time but I'm still hanging around (like a bad smell). Oh and I am currently at my all time highest of 290 but don't tell anyone that.

Sandi--the good news is that you haven't given up. You are still here and a great support to all of us. Read your post back that you just wrote to Gretchen. The same applies to almost all of us. You just have to find what is going to work for you and work it.

Hi Sandi,

You are not alone. I joined here in Feb. 2000 ~ and I am not too far from where I started. I was almost 1/2 way there and messed up. I worry that people will see the date and lack of progress and think ~ that Gayle, she's never gonna make it ~ what a loser. But, you keep coming here ~ that is good ~ don't give up!! I remember reading something in that book ~ Thin for Life ~ that many of the people who succeeded ~ had many attempts before they finally were successful. You can do it Sandi ~ keep trying and never give up ~ you are worth the effort.

Hey, Sandi. I got caught up in the "past regrets" thing too, and this is what a friend of mine said to me:

"Regret is the mind's poison. You can't see where you're going if you keep looking in the rearview mirror."

I repeat that to myself when I start looking back. That time is done. The time AHEAD of you is what matters. We can do it!

Even though it may seem depressing, it's good you kept those records. Your weight, your health - they let you know that those thoughts are always there in your mind. They may get kicked to the back from time to time but you always manage to bring it right back to the font again. You'll figure out a way to keep those thoughts at the front of your mind all the time and never let anything push them away again. Keep at it, you will be successful. You will do this.

~Dee

glynne - Boy did you hit the nail on the head. I also feel that by now people must just shake their head when I stray off my plan and start gaining. Again...or even worse..as usual.

You're still here and that means so much! You could have easily said "to **** with it" and disappeared forever (so many do ), but no, you never give up ~ you move on and try another plan in the hope that its "the one". That says so much about you. I know you'll get it right (you're doing well with Sugar Busters and that might be exactly what'll work for you). Once you're well and truly on your way I have a feeling there'll be no stopping you.

I don't think people shake their head ~ after all we're all here for the same reason and are a pretty understanding bunch. Heck, if they're shaking their head over you, then they must be doing to same about me, because I joined 3FC three years ago only 15lbs. away from goal and after a series of ups and downs am still not there yet! Hang in there, kiddo, and know you've got a support system here and we all think you're very special!

Sandi, my sister - I've told you before how much you remind of myself. I failed a thousand times at weight loss! But ... I never gave up. Even though I failed a thousand times, I tried a thousand and one times, and the last time was the one that worked.

You know it's not true that you've gotten nowhere and that those were wasted years. Every time you fell down, you learned another lesson. And the day is going to come when all those lessons come together and everything works for you, just like it did for me.

I know you'll never give up. And I know that you WILL succeed.

I feel you. I have my charts back to 2001 as well. The lowest I ever got was 265. I could be skinny by now!!! But I wasn't ready back then. Now I am, and you are too!!!

Sandi,

While it may not address your dicouragement... I love having you here and I know a lot of other people feel the same way.

One of the ways I appease the more, faster, better, demon in my head is to say "Before I started to exercise and explore different ways of eating (1998), I was gaining 10-12 a year my entire adult life. Since then I have stayed the same or had a net loss of 40 lbs. Can you imagine where I would be with no effort? At 10-12 # a year and without my very modest loss, I would weigh over 120 lbs more than I do today."

While it might not seem like much, what I see in those numbers is that you are not any heavier today then you were in 2001. I would call that a victory!

The process of change is a very fluid one. I found a model that explains the process that seems to fit with my own experience with change. You can move from one stage to the next. Changing a lifestyle is not one change but 100's. You can be ready for some of them, not ready for others and into maintenance on some behaviors.

The important thing is that you can never fail if you don't stop trying. Find what works for you. Be proactive. If what you have done in the past did not work - then try something else. I have spent 25 years of my life being morbidly obese. I can't change the past - I can't predict the future - but I can sure change my today.

Here is a description of that model


Stages of Change: The Temporal Dimension
The stage construct is the key organizing construct of the model. It is important in part because it represents a temporal dimension. Change implies phenomena occurring over time. However, this aspect was largely ignored by alternative theories of change. Behavior change was often construed as an event, such as quitting smoking, drinking, or over-eating. The Transtheoretical Model construes change as a process involving progress through a series of five stages.

Precontemplation is the stage in which people are not intending to take action in the foreseeable future, usually measured as the next six months. People may be in this stage because they are uninformed or under-informed about the consequences of their behavior. Or they may have tried to change a number of times and become demoralized about their ability to change. Both groups tend to avoid reading, talking or thinking about their high risk behaviors. They are often characterized in other theories as resistant or unmotivated or as not ready for health promotion programs. The fact is traditional health promotion programs are often not designed for such individuals and are not matched to their needs.

Contemplation is the stage in which people are intending to change in the next six months. They are more aware of the pros of changing but are also acutely aware of the cons. This balance between the costs and benefits of changing can produce profound ambivalence that can keep people stuck in this stage for long periods of time. We often characterize this phenomenon as chronic contemplation or behavioral procrastination. These people are also not ready for traditional action oriented programs.

Preparation is the stage in which people are intending to take action in the immediate future, usually measured as the next month. They have typically taken some significant action in the past year. These individuals have a plan of action, such as joining a health education class, consulting a counselor, talking to their physician, buying a self-help book or relying on a self-change approach. These are the people that should be recruited for action- oriented smoking cessation, weight loss, or exercise programs.

Action is the stage in which people have made specific overt modifications in their life-styles within the past six months. Since action is observable, behavior change often has been equated with action. But in the Transtheoretical Model, Action is only one of five stages. Not all modifications of behavior count as action in this model. People must attain a criterion that scientists and professionals agree is sufficient to reduce risks for disease. In smoking, for example, the field used to count reduction in the number of cigarettes as action, or switching to low tar and nicotine cigarettes. Now the consensus is clear--only total abstinence counts. In the diet area, there is some consensus that less than 30% of calories should be consumed from fat. The Action stage is also the stage where vigilance against relapse is critical.

Maintenance is the stage in which people are working to prevent relapse but they do not apply change processes as frequently as do people in action. They are less tempted to relapse and increasingly more confident that they can continue their change.

I wish you the very best.