Back at Square One
 

I've read a lot of posts lately by people who are new to the forums and just starting out. I am finding that I really identify with their anxieties and frustrations. For a while losing weight was smooth sailing and I took it for granted. After a two month maintainence break I am finding that the last 20 pounds I need to lose are just as daunting as the first 20. I am finding it difficult to buckle down and do what has to be done to reach my goal - eat less and exercise more.

I've decided that part of what is holding me back is focusing too much on how far I've come. At 214 pounds getting started was hard because I had so much weight to lose. A couple of pounds didn't seem to make a difference and it was very discouraging. Now, I have the opposite problem. I'm a little too content right where I am and I find myself saying, "I've lost almost 80 pounds. What's 20 more? I can do that anytime!" Well, "anytime" keeps slipping away from me.

I think the best thing for me to do is to start completely over. I have the same desperate mentality that I had this time last year. Which, by the way, feels very hypocritical since I used to be horribly annoyed when I read posts from people who only had 20-30 pounds to lose. I would have killed to be in their shoes and now, here I am, complaining about it. Still, I am as worried about failing now as I was back then. I feel disorganized and not sure how to get started. Isn't that silly? I suppose it is because I don't know exactly what it is going to take to lose at my current weight and I'm not sure how many calories I'm willing to cut out or how much harder I'm willing to exercise.

Anyway, the point of posting this is to officially hold myself accountable for devising a plan and sticking to it until I've reached my goal weight of 115. Every morning for the past month I've started the day with full intentions of getting out of maintainence mode. This is it though. I've updated my ticker so there is no turning back now!

Thanks for letting me think out loud. It makes such a difference to know I have the safety net that is 3fc!

I know exactly where you're coming from. I've never allowed myself a maintenance break but as we're coming up to Christmas I've found my brain shifting from "wouldn't it be good to lose a few more pounds before Christmas" to "what do a couple more pounds matter now I'm this close to goal, I can start again in the new year and lose the last 14".

I have no problem with relaxing a bit for a month or so and enjoying myself, but I do worry about whether I'll run up against the same problems you're describing when I try to get back on the wagon. Or indeed the bigger worry which is that it won't be 14lb any more by the time I get back round to it.

I hope you manage to get back down to it and get that ticker moving again. I may be asking for your help in a month or so to do the same thing!

We're rooting for you! You know you can do it. Just think about the feeling you will have when you get there. You've worked so hard to get where you are now, and you've come too far to let it slide. We'll hold you accountable! Keep us posted.

That may be what it takes for you is to think of it that way. Thank you for posting this. Like you said many times we think "Oh she's just got 10-20 pounds left. That's nothing." You are so right that your struggles at being 20 pounds from goal can be just has difficult as those 100+ pounds from goal.

Good for you for getting back at it. I've never been to the point where I've tried to maintain but I can imagine that it could be daunting to buckle down and finish up the last 15-20 pounds. You've leaving your comfort zone again. It doesn't matter that comfort level is 20 pounds from your goal or 100 pounds from your goal. I admire your resolve and hope I can share the same success as you down the road.

~Dee

Thanks so much for your support guys! It makes a big difference knowing that there are people on my side who UNDERSTAND.

Wow, wow, you articulated exactly what I've been feeling (although I'm not even to my first loss goal yet!). It's hard at this point. I'm feeling pretty good about myself, and while I'd like to lose the last of my biggish belly and really slim down, it's soooo difficult to get the motivation to REALLY kick it into gear again. On the plus side, though, like you said, I'm less terrified of maintenance than I was originally. I know now that it will take vigilance, but it's definitely doable.

HOWEVER... after a 3-pound gain (some of that may just be water, but still!) from some emotional eating when my grandmother died last week, I'm ready to kick it into high gear again.

I am soooo with you. On plan and kicking up the exercise, especially since Christmas is just around the corner. Let's do this!

Jennifer, I'm sorry you are facing the pain of losing your grandmother. It is never easy to lose someone we love but there is something special about grandparents, I think. Maybe it is because, as adults, we realize how special they thought we are. I don't know. I do know that when each of my grandparents passed away (my maternal grandmother is still living) I had this sinking feeling that they were the key to my history and that I hadn't learned as much from them as I should have. I was frantic to write down all of the stories they had told me over the years and all of the tales of our adventures together. It was therapeutic to say the least.

At any rate, I'm glad to know I'm not the one feeling the way I do. Maybe we can keep pushing each other in the right direction. You are absolutley right - Let's do this!