My hubby started writing to me after reading something I'd written on a NG. We e-mailed back and forth daily for four months and found we could really talk to each other about anything and everything. He jokes that we got to know each other inside-out.
I was planning a trip to Canada anyway (I was in the UK), and decided I would make time to visit him. At this point everything was on a purely platonic level, although we both knew in our hearts that our relationship was "deep".
We first spoke by telephone when I was staying with another 'net friend in Ontario, and after a week or so, I flew to Edmonton (missing out all those other places I'd planned to visit!). We first set eyes on each other five months after we'd started communicating. Within a week we knew we wanted to be together forever, so we married the following month. I then made a short trip back home to pack my stuff up and put my house on the market, and then I emigrated from England. All in all, from first e-mail to our wedding day was exactly six months, and we celebrated our third anniversary three weeks ago.
My family and friends were shocked when I called to say I was getting wed, but that soon wore off and they were extremely supportive and happy for me. They knew I was a sensible (reasonably!), grown-up woman and they trusted my judgement. We've been back to England once, and my sister was here last year, and everyone gets along famously.
His family were totally stunned, and even today they haven't quite wrapped their heads around it all. They have accepted me totally though without any hint of animosity or suspicion. I'd prefer a little more distance, TBH!
I never for one moment doubted my own mind or his motives. My friends, however, were much more concerned than I (purely because it originated on the 'net), despite the fact that they've met some absolute nutters in the local pubs and night clubs--people who've represented themselves as someone they are not.
Just because you can physically see someone doesn't make them any more trustworthy than someone you meet on-line. I say in both cases, keep an open mind and your wits about you, and that will serve you well. If it
feels not-quite-right, it probably
is not-quite-right.
It may be that this person is merely looking for a passport to a new life in the States. OTOH, (s)he could be totally genuine. The rub is, as with anything that involves someone else, you just can't know for certain. Maybe you could talk with your relative about the situation, and make sure (s)he isn't just getting caught up in the "romance" of it all? I don't think there's much else you can do.