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I Don't see myself as big I really am too.I wouldn't get on a scale for the last 4 years for fear that I weighed more than I thought I did.In Feb of this year I decided to get on the scale and when it said 318 I felt sick!
I never liked getting my picture taken,even at 180 pounds and 5'9 I wasn't happy at the way I looked.I still wont get my picture taken. I started 1 1/2 months ago working out every day and 2 weeks ago people started telling me you are losing weight but I can't see it.At my 1 month weigh in I was down 5 pounds and 13 1/4 inches,but I cant see that neither.I wear loose clothes so I really cant tell them being any looser on me yet.I'm glad others can see my efforts but I still think I am the same. |
wow- I'm so surprised at all the answers here! I feel the same way - and have felt ashamed of it! I have said to my husband "I'm not that fat, am I?" and he just looks at me. Do you think that is what holds us back? that we don't face reality? My 2x stretch pants still fit - I'm not bigger, am I?
good thread. Sheila - did the article come up with any solutions if you feel this way? Should we take more pictures (and put them up on our fridge?) or worse.. buy a 3 way (gasp) mirror? |
I know I feel and look bigger to myself without clothes. Clothes hide a multitued of sins. I hate seeing all the fat rolls in the mirror when I get up in the morning. I can't wait to get them covered up.
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I do my best not to look at myself naked no matter my weight. When I was at my highest my stomach was such that I was often asked when the baby was due -after losing a lot of weight my stomach looked like a char pei dog (and believe me, I exercised). I'm not even going into the all around general sagging that comes with ageing, so its easier for me to put on a blindfold when I come out of the shower.
As for body image in general it depends on my state of mind. When I'm feeling happy and confident I think I look great, when I'm depressed and frustrated I think I look disgusting. I remember reaching a certain milestone in my weight-loss journey and feeling that I looked fabulous. l continued to lose and then had a set-back and got back up to that "milestone" weight again. THEN I thought I looked horrible. Oh, and how about when you look in the mirror with your tummy sucked in, chin up high and shoulders back and think, hmm....yep, I'm looking lean today and then someone takes a photo that night when you're on the couch relaxing with every chin in evidence and your boobs resting on your relaxed stomach - cringe time! :( |
I've always been told I carry my weight well. When I weighed 225 and people would ask me how much I weighed and told them they would all be like "No way. I would guess you to be about 175-190 (somewhere in there). Even when I ballooned up to 250, people still guessed 25-50 pounds lighter. It wasn't until about 280 and seeing pics of myself that I believed I was that fat.
Now I have good days and bad. Some days I think, "Wow I'm looking great" and the next "have I put on some weight?" as for being naked when I'm lying down, I think I'm skinnier (all the fat kind of dissolves into the mattress ;)) but standing up and passing a mirror, I don't really think I'm fatter naked. I've learned to accept my body how it is. I would love for my baby belly to go back up and be somewhat flat again but I'm sure that's another 50 pounds away or more. |
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