Hello, it's alison again. Posting on here is addictive, I think. Anyway, I thought maybe I could share a part of my day and my mind with those of you who might be a little discouraged at the time, or just want to hear about me, lol.
Today, for the first time in a long time, I planned to walk and I walked. For and hour and a half. In the hot hot heat, to starbucks where all I got was an iced tea becuase I "had to be good" and then I schlepped over to king's to buy Rice cakes, and fruit and all of the non-mouthwatering-healthy food I could find. And then began the long trek home, and here I am. I'm tired, and hot, and my arms hurt from carrying the grocery bags and I think I might have even gotten a little sunburn. Sounds like I'm complaining huh? well, I'm not, becuase after all of that, I feel the best I have in a year.
I made a plan, and I stuck to it, I feel energized, even though I'm tired, I feel happy even though my body hurts. It's all becuase I'm making steps to make my life better and just by agreeing with myself to do that, I already feel better. It's a great and wonderful thing, and if you're ever discouraged or tired of "being good" or hurting, remember that you are experiencing that now, but soon, you'll have the life you've been working and hurting for.
For years, practically my whole life, I've longed for a different life, a life where I felt good about myself and what I was doing. Now, I have that life. Yeah, I'm not skinny yet, and maybe I don't even care if I ever am, as long as I know that my life is in my own hands, that I can make it better and theres not this power over me forcing me to be unhappy, then maybe, I don't ever have to be unhappy about myself again. This diet and excercise plan is not so I can be a size 2, it's so I can be happy and satisfied with all my efforts at what ever size I end up at. If it's a 2...so be it. lol. Even though I'd be just as happy at a 12 or more, even...Because I'm just as happy with me.