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Old 05-12-2019, 11:12 AM   #1  
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Default I think I've hit rock bottom

Hi, I'm new here. I'm female, almost 46 years old, and I live in the US. I've been morbidly obese for a long time. Quite a few years.

I googled online support groups for overweight people, because I've finally reached a point things have gotten so bad, I feel I can't take it anymore.
Something has to change.
I weigh probably over 400 pounds. When I was weighed at the doctors several months ago, I was around 400, and I think since then I have gained more weight.

It's gotten to the point where I can barely walk through my apartment building to get to my car. I have to lean on a shopping cart (they have carts in the building), and I have to stop and rest several times. And my lower back aches from the standing and walking.
The other thing that makes me feel like I've reached rock bottom is that it has become very difficult to reach to wipe
myself when using the toilet.

I hate being morbidly obese. For so many reasons.
I can't stand the way I look, and don't like looking in the mirror.
I feel trapped in my body, and I feel like my body in many ways is not my friend.
I've had knee and foot pain for years. I can't even stand for more than a couple minutes. I walk with a cane.
I get worn out from just standing for a couple minutes, or walking from the living room to the bathroom.
When I go grocery shopping I have to use a motorized shopping cart.

In addition to being this overweight, I suffer from depression, severe anxiety and OCD. I take several medications for my mental health.

I also have high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.
I have chronic wounds on my lower legs, caused by my weight, diabetes, or both. My lower legs have to have compression wraps on them at all times.

So, being this obese has caused me numerous health issues.

Then of course there is the social stigma of being this overweight.

I've spent time reading on this forum, yesterday and this morning.
I can relate to a lot of things many of you have said.
I just need emotional support, and some friends to talk to.
I'm not kidding when I say I have no friends, besides my husband.
I've isolated myself for years.

Anyway, that's me, and hopefully I can make some friends here, get encouragement, and give encouragement to others.

Something has to change. I can't stay this overweight, or keep gaining more.

Last edited by ILoveCats1973; 05-12-2019 at 11:13 AM.
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Old 05-12-2019, 12:01 PM   #2  
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Tears in my eyes as I read your post. Are you under the care of a good doctor who can monitor a weight loss program for you? A website you might like to Google that talks a lot of about diet for diabetics is Diet Doctor. Articles by Dr. Jason Fung on that site are amazing results for diabetics.

I think you need a multi-faceted support system, starting with a doctor, maybe a support group, and this site. No friends is a tough one. I know from personal experience depression and food addiction can cause us to isolate ... it's very important we don't isolate. Take small steps and gradually build your support system. And keep posting here!!
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Old 05-12-2019, 12:17 PM   #3  
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Originally Posted by Follena View Post
Tears in my eyes as I read your post. Are you under the care of a good doctor who can monitor a weight loss program for you? A website you might like to Google that talks a lot of about diet for diabetics is Diet Doctor. Articles by Dr. Jason Fung on that site are amazing results for diabetics.

I think you need a multi-faceted support system, starting with a doctor, maybe a support group, and this site. No friends is a tough one. I know from personal experience depression and food addiction can cause us to isolate ... it's very important we don't isolate. Take small steps and gradually build your support system. And keep posting here!!
Thank you for replying. I will look at that site you mentioned.
I have a primary care doctor. I don't know how much help he would be with this. He has suggested low carb eating, but that might be too restrictive for me, as I would feel like I was being deprived of some of the things I love the most (bread, potatoes, rice). Also the cost financially. My husband and I are low income. So, I'm thinking I will just try to eat 500 fewer calories per day, and try to lose about a pound a week.

Making friends has always been hard for me, both because I isolate myself, and I'm also just shy.
But it's lonely having no friends.
So I'm reaching out here.

Last edited by ILoveCats1973; 05-12-2019 at 12:19 PM. Reason: Forgot something
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Old 05-12-2019, 06:58 PM   #4  
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I'm very sorry you are going through this.

There will be many of us here on this board who will relate to the depression/eating cycle, and the isolation. You will not be alone and I'm sure you will receive encouragement.

The one thing I can personally address with you is your love of bread, rice and potatoes. Pasta probably has a role in there as well. I've been there and done that. Eating large quantities of those foods can really affect your mood and definitely affect your health. It would really help you if you were able to cut the quantity of any of those foods down by half.

Then, when you are used to that, cut them back again to what the portion size says on the package. I know how hard that is. It's not particularly comforting to see one small potato on a plate, or 1/2 cup of pasta, or 1/2 cup of rice. But eating shouldn't be about comfort. That's the hardest thing many of us have to conquer.

One thing that can help is that on Youtube there are some shows of a UK program called Secret Eaters. It's interesting because it reveals just how many calories are in what many of us eat on a day to day basis, and it helps expose how big our portions are. It's an entertaining show as well. Another person whose programs could help is Richard Simmons. I know he's been made fun of a lot over the years, but he has some terrific motivational videos out there (your library may have them) and his approach to eating is pretty straightforward and easy. You could do many of his exercise videos while sitting at first and just clap and laugh and move your arms. He's fun.

You can do it. Start with small things and you'll find that it gets easier as time goes by.
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Old 05-13-2019, 05:10 PM   #5  
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Originally Posted by ILoveCats1973 View Post
He has suggested low carb eating, but that might be too restrictive for me, as I would feel like I was being deprived of some of the things I love the most (bread, potatoes, rice). .
i'm pulling the tough love card here and will be slammed, but.... we live in such an advantaged era and geography where knowledge and experiences and time to explore them are available so easily. You're only here once.
Why not lie on the grass and watch an ant struggle with carrying a bit of leaf back to its nest, or stay up at night and watch the stars, or research the cave paintings of our ancestors, or knit blankets for chariites. What i'm trying to say is that if potatoes/bread/rice are what you love most, then there's another 99.99999999999% of experiences out there, so restricting carbs isn't really a big deal in the scheme of things considering the benefits you would get back if you improved your health and focused on being here on Planet Earth.....
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Old 05-13-2019, 07:17 PM   #6  
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I wouldn't slam you ange82much. Many of us have to come to terms with our eating habits and dependence on food and it's good to hear experiences and I hope ILoveCats can gain help from experiences and opinions.
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Old 05-13-2019, 09:36 PM   #7  
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Thank you for replying OldBiddy, and Ange82much.
I will think about what both of you said.
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Old 05-13-2019, 09:52 PM   #8  
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I also have high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.
If you have high blood pressure and diabetes, then I recommend eating a diet high in fiber, low in salt, and low in meat/eggs. Eat whole foods such as vegetables, legumes, fruits, whole grains, and nuts/seeds. Avoid sweets, refined carbs, and deep fried foods.

This study shows that by following a high-carb, high-fiber diet, people with diabetes were able to lower their glucose levels and discontinue insulin therapy after only 16 days.

This study shows that people who eat higher amounts of animal protein have higher risk of dying from diabetes.

This study shows that Adventists who follow a vegan diet have lower risk of obesity, hypertension, type-2 diabetes, and cardiovascular mortality.

In this study, 198 people with cardiovascular disease were placed on a vegan diet. 177 people stuck to the diet. Only 1 of the 177 people experienced a cardiovascular event, but among the people who did not stick to the diet, 13 of 21 experienced a cardiovascular event.

I also recommend eating flaxseeds, which are good for reducing blood pressure, as shown in this study.

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He has suggested low carb eating, but that might be too restrictive for me, as I would feel like I was being deprived of some of the things I love the most (bread, potatoes, rice).
You don't need to follow a low-carb diet. However, you should avoid refined carbs. Avoid white bread, white pasta, and white rice. Instead, eat whole grains (e.g. brown rice, oats, quinoa, barley). If you can't give up bread, then be sure to choose whole grain bread. When you eat potatoes, I suggest choosing either sweet potatoes or purple potatoes, instead of white potatoes, as they have more health benefits.

This study shows that people who eat white rice have higher risk of diabetes, but people who eat brown rice have lower risk of diabetes.

This study shows that eating brown rice instead of white rice can significantly reduce weight, waist and hip circumference, BMI, Diastole blood pressure and hs-CRP.

Quote:
My husband and I are low income.
If you have a low food budget then eat more legumes. Legumes are both cheap and healthy. You can check both the dried legumes and the canned legumes to see which one is cheaper. For vegetables, I think potatoes, carrots, cabbage, broccoli, and spinach are usually cheap. Look at the unit price (i.e. the price per unit of weight) to make sure you get a good deal.

Last edited by mjf; 05-13-2019 at 10:33 PM.
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Old 05-14-2019, 06:38 AM   #9  
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You can do this! We want you around!

On being low income: Don't be afraid to speak to your local food bank or local grocer and ask about getting healthier options. I also write companies by hitting their "contact us" button, compliment their products, and sometimes get a free product from places like Earthbound Farms, or if there's a small issue, let them know.
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Old 05-14-2019, 10:27 AM   #10  
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That's a good idea LameGothMom. It does take some courage to approach people about food banks and what-not, but that's what they are there for. I have used them, and especially the fresh options offered by one community program. Often there are surplus vegs and fruits available.
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Old 05-15-2019, 02:12 PM   #11  
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Originally Posted by ILoveCats1973 View Post
Hi, I'm new here. I'm female, almost 46 years old, and I live in the US. I've been morbidly obese for a long time. Quite a few years.

I googled online support groups for overweight people, because I've finally reached a point things have gotten so bad, I feel I can't take it anymore.
Something has to change.
I weigh probably over 400 pounds. When I was weighed at the doctors several months ago, I was around 400, and I think since then I have gained more weight.

It's gotten to the point where I can barely walk through my apartment building to get to my car. I have to lean on a shopping cart (they have carts in the building), and I have to stop and rest several times. And my lower back aches from the standing and walking.
The other thing that makes me feel like I've reached rock bottom is that it has become very difficult to reach to wipe
myself when using the toilet.

I hate being morbidly obese. For so many reasons.
I can't stand the way I look, and don't like looking in the mirror.
I feel trapped in my body, and I feel like my body in many ways is not my friend.
I've had knee and foot pain for years. I can't even stand for more than a couple minutes. I walk with a cane.
I get worn out from just standing for a couple minutes, or walking from the living room to the bathroom.
When I go grocery shopping I have to use a motorized shopping cart.

In addition to being this overweight, I suffer from depression, severe anxiety and OCD. I take several medications for my mental health.

I also have high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.
I have chronic wounds on my lower legs, caused by my weight, diabetes, or both. My lower legs have to have compression wraps on them at all times.

So, being this obese has caused me numerous health issues.

Then of course there is the social stigma of being this overweight.

I've spent time reading on this forum, yesterday and this morning.
I can relate to a lot of things many of you have said.
I just need emotional support, and some friends to talk to.
I'm not kidding when I say I have no friends, besides my husband.
I've isolated myself for years.

Anyway, that's me, and hopefully I can make some friends here, get encouragement, and give encouragement to others.

Something has to change. I can't stay this overweight, or keep gaining more.
Hi - I'm Frank, I'm new here too. Two years ago, I also weighed 400 pounds, and today just got off the scale at 256 pounds. If you're wondering, yes, I still have both my arms and both my legs. :-)

I totally get the hopeless feeling but I want you to understand that if you want to weigh less, you can do this. The first HUGE step is actually deciding that you want to do it and that you're ready to do it. And guess what? Here you are, posting your story, and asking for help. That seems like someone is is 100 percent ready. So that's awesome.

Now, I have some good news and bad news for you. I know, I know, the last thing you want is bad news.. but just a little bit.
The bad news is that, you can't lose 150 pounds. You can't even lose 100 pounds. Sorry to tell you that.

But see the good news is, you don't have to. All YOU have to do, is take care of the next 24 hours. Eat a little bit better than you're doing now, for the next 24 hours. And then the version of you from tomorrow will pick up the ball and handle the NEXT 24 hours, and so on and so on.

See, I get all these people "congratulating me" on all this weight that I've lost? But honestly, all I've done today is got up, had my overnight oats for breakfast, walked on the treadmill, had lunch and am writing this note to someone who is looking to change their life just like I did. I don't deserve all the credit.

The me from 2 years ago... the one who weighed 400 pounds, and had no reason to know that 2 years later he'd be nearly 150 pounds lighter? HE deserves the credit for getting this all started. For saying "I've had enough of this and I want to make a change." And guess what? That's YOU. That's just what you're doing.

So I know you can't see it now, but you have a lot of reasons to be hopeful. Big changes take time, but they all start with small steps in the right direction. The first is saying "I want to change." You've done that. Now just start finding small changes in your diet that you can make and live with, and try those. Try to eat smaller servings of some food. Maybe replace some other foods with healthier options. Don't go too crazy, don't do too much. Even just a few small changes will make a big difference at first. And then once you've gotten used to those? Try to make a few more.

As for activity? I know it's hard for you to move right now...well, then all you can do is the best you can. Try to walk around the room a bit when you can, perhaps. But obviously safety is your main concern.

And lastly, and its hard to say this without knowing your situation, but if it's feasible for you, I'd highly recommend you try to visit your doctor. One, it would be nice to get an official weight, so that when YOU post here in a couple years to share your triumphant weight loss success story to help someone, you can say "In May of 2019, I officially weighed XXX" before I lost xxx weight... "... but also to make sure there aren't any other underlying issues you need to be aware of before you try to be more active. And also to be certain how your diabetes will impact your diet. Don't want to mess around with that stuff.

Sorry to ramble, but I hope just in the wonderful responses above to your initial post you can see how wrong you were to one thing - you certainly DO have friends, a whole bunch of new ones right here. Rooting you on.
You've actually taken the hardest step, coming forward and saying you've got a problem you want to address. Now time to just take the next small step. I know you can do it.
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Old 05-15-2019, 04:59 PM   #12  
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That was great, Frank.
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Old 05-16-2019, 06:07 AM   #13  
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Thank you mjf, LameGothMom, and Frank.

Thank you everyone for the advice and support.
I'm trying to walk a bit every day in my apartment building (while leaning on the shopping cart), and I'm trying to watch portion size when I eat.
I'm trying to consume fewer calories as well.

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Old 05-16-2019, 06:09 AM   #14  
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That's super, ILoveCats.
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Old 05-19-2019, 10:21 AM   #15  
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Hi ILoveCats,

I used to post here a long time ago, but it has been so long that I couldn't remember my user name.

It sounds like you are off to a good start. Reaching out for help indicates that you are ready for change. And making small incremental changes add up.

I would highly encourage you to read "The Diabetes Code" and/or "The Obesity Code" by Dr. Jason Fung (check your library). He is a kidney specialist that deals with a lot of type 2 diabetes patients. You can also look him up on Google. He has a lot of free videos and articles. I also second the Diet Doctor website that someone else mentioned. There is a wealth of information there.

Here is a good article to get you started. https://www.dietdoctor.com/my-single...eight-loss-tip

I am also going to practise tough love. You are facing a health crisis here. The sooner you get it under control, the less damage it is going to do to your body. The good news is that type 2 diabetes is reversible. Without insulin. Insulin actually makes it worse in the long term. Yes, in the short term is gets the sugars under control, but in the long term it makes things worse. Seriously, look up Dr. Fung.

You can do this. You have the power within you.

Last edited by Hey Jude; 05-19-2019 at 10:29 AM.
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