Laurie: I am sure it is strange to be in a place where you don't have to struggle constantly to reach a new low weight. When you spend that much time and energy with that concern always in your mind for so much of your life, and "all of a sudden" that issue is no longer an issue, I'm sure it is unsettling. I am so happy for you though! That's awesome to reach a goal and be able to stay there! I hope you are able to wrap your head around how great it is and learn to enjoy it. You might be smart in getting some sort of counseling to work through new issues!

For me, I'm back in the week, so I'm doing better. Yesterday wasn't a great day, just some emotional crap bringing me down. Nothing critical, mainly just hating that the weather is getting so much cooler, and a few little issues at work. But, I went and worked out this morning, doing my own weight lifting, and felt better after. Working hard at staying on track with food. I have a good lunch packed! I didn't make it hiking yesterday, so I might try to get it in tonight.

Missing everyone! Hope all is well.

Diane - After I posted that, I thought about it, and worried about how truly obnoxious that post was on so many levels. Thank you for being so kind about it. Glad that you're back in the rhythm of the week, making primarily good choices, and I love that you have embraced the value of exercise as a stress reliever. You work so hard, both for your family and in your work. I am so glad that you take at least a little bit of time for self-care, and hope that you can find additional ways to do things that will support your physical and emotional health. Cuz you are fantastic.

TL:DR - I am using this space to journal as I try to figure out the source of my malaise and how to deal with it productively. Feel free to skip.

Ironically, I made some really bad food choices yesterday. I had two shots of Fireball pretty late in the evening, and proceeded to eat myself sick. Not excessively sick, but "have to sit up in bed and fall asleep because if I am horizontal I will burp acid into my mouth" sick. I am going to ask for a bit of indulgence as I use this space for a bit of therapy journalling.

I have had so much malaise lately, and no good reason for it. As I mentioned earlier, things are going exceedingly well. Part of it is the "waiting for the other shoe to drop" quandary, also known as the "If you don't really enjoy the calm, you'll regret it when things are bad" guilt. Part of it is the acceptance of the fact that it is not the destination I enjoy so much as the journey and the sense of accomplishment I get when I've achieved something challenging. I hate being fat. I hate being out of shape. I hate it when my husband and I fight. I hate it when I can't pay my bills. But I loved watching the scale go down. I loved the excitement of the first time I ran for three minutes straight. I love the euphoria when my husband and I resolve things. I know these things about myself, and have for a long time. So, why am I struggling now rather than just setting new goals? Part of it is that I don't want to lose what I have. If I focus on another arena where I want to accomplish big things, will I lose the things I have that I have worked so hard to achieve? For a long time, I have really wanted to just be at a stable weight and fitness level. But it's still hard, and I don't have the big reward at the end. I can run five miles. How do I know? I did it three times last week. How to celebrate an accomplishment that is essentially the status quo?

Honestly, my biggest fear is becoming like my husband. And I don't say that in a way that is derogatory at all to him. He wants to work, to skate by at work by only doing what is required, come home, occasionally do some projects around the house, but mostly just watch TV and plan vacations. And he is constantly bored. Always having something to strive for is an integral part of my identity, and the struggle is written in my DNA. I don't just do the job as it is defined. The job I have now, for example, was pretty straight-forward when I started. I expanded the work we do, and was rewarded by being given additional employees to work for me. My two-person unit is now a five-person unit, and we have consistently demolished our targets, resulting in exponentially-increased revenue, which means my unit will likely continue to expand. And yet, I still make the same as the other people in my division who have the same job title and same salary, and work significantly fewer hours and get significantly fewer results. The praise and the trust I get mean something, but maybe not enough. Diane, sometimes I get the impression that you and I are similar in this. I am guessing that you are the heart and soul of your office, and everyone is constantly praising your reliability and the quality and quantity of work you produce. I am also guessing that you aren't compensated at nearly your value. Pure speculation, of course, but it happens to women A LOT. I hope I am wrong, and your obvious value to your company is reflected in your salary.

So, I think I am going to take a break from the chaos and just plan. I don't have to spend more time on fitness activities. I just need to spend some time planning how best to utilize the time I already invest in it. And really - even though I can run five miles and can now complete ten good push-ups, for example, I've never been able to do a pull-up. Getting out of my nicely-defined rut might have some serious benefits. I still want to be able to run, so I want to keep running, but I might want to focus on getting faster instead of just doing the same distance again and again. So, on the fitness front, I am going to put together a plan to be able to do a pull-up on the strength training front and a plan to be able to run faster on the cardio front. I will continue to walk and do my body weight exercises during the workday because those are routine and can be relaxing.

On the diet front, I think I am going to try out the Bulletproof diet for just a couple of weeks. I don't necessarily need to get thinner, though I could lose another fifteen pounds or so without being "too thin," I think. But the Bulletproof diet promises increased mental clarity, and I am all about that.

On the work front, I am going to figure out how to just do the bare minimum and feel good about it. I already have a strong reputation, and our team is getting good results. The "bare minimum" is great for my employer, and does not make me feel like they're taking advantage of me.

On the husband front, I am going to continue doing things that have made the marriage better, like leaving work earlier. I am also going to try to be a bit more assertive about what I need, while also doing my best to reassure on other fronts. The other day, we were watching a show, and one of the characters described her husband as a "fat piece of sh!t." He asked me if I talk about him that way. Ummm.... **** no. Not only would I be a total hypocrite, but I feel very strongly that being fat is like having brown eyes -- just a physical characteristic not worthy of judgment. When I assured him that I never have and never would, he said, "But you think it, right?" Except hello -- the woman was talking about not wanting to have sex with her husband. Even when we are having our problems, lack of sex is never an issue. So, I just need to take a deep breath, understand he has his own insecurities, stop him when those insecurities inspire him to attack me, and try to more casually navigate the relationship.

On the children front. I need to maintain contact with children, both adult and almost-adult, without smothering or hovering. I need to honestly and accurately evaluate how much, if any, intervention they need from me, and to be available to them, but mostly on my schedule. (For example, my 20yo calls me 3-5 times a day. I don't need to feel guilty about not answering every time he calls.)

On the "next big goal" front. I want to make money so that I can support causes I enjoy, be able to help my children when they need it, and be able to travel when I want and where I want. I am going to set out a plan with deadlines, and follow it.

I actually feel way better right now. I can do this. And I can do it without being so annoyingly whiny.

Hope everyone has a great day and a great week!

Laurie: Feel free to use this space as you wish! I'm sure we could all benefit from your thoughts and maybe someone will have some ideas of what might help. I think it is something that you'll need to do, to establish new goals. It looks like you have some good thoughts on what you want to do, moving forward.

And, you are right about how I am at my job. In fact, I'm dealing with a little bit of that right now. It's a long explanation of what I do, but part of how I am is that I try to help out others with getting things done. I'm very much a team player, because I feel like if we are doing right for our company and clients, everyone benefits. But, sometimes that results in feeling used. I think it is going to work out as it should, but one of my coworkers may be moving out of town. They love her (and I do, too), so they were trying to figure out how she could still work here, remotely. Um, no. That won't work. Long story short, I would have been "helping" from here. No, I do not want to be her assistant. Nope. That is not my life career goal. Anyway, we'll see how it goes.

Not much else new here.

week 2 restart
 

So my first week back after almost 6 years I lost 5 pounds. I am struggling feeling so hungry all of the time and weak. This time around I have Chronic Myeloid Leukemia and my daily chemo has its own set of side effects one of which is WEIGHT GAIN. I started this new chemo almost 2 months ago and immediately put on 10lbs, which made me want to start IP again ASAP! I have never been heavier in my life and the past year has had such struggles including weight and CANCER. I could use any tips anyone may have. I am eating my snack in the afternoon because I just can't make it through the work day. I am giving it one month and hoping for great success to continue because I need to feel good about something.

TBird: It is hard to get back into it and getting your body used to the lower amount of calories! Sorry to hear you have all of the other issues to deal with at the same time. That's rough! Good luck moving forward!!

For me, nothing new. Just checking in before the weekend. Hope everyone has a good one!

Good morning!

I sort of dropped off the face of the planet. Depression is insidious, and sometimes, I can talk myself out of it. I worry that I might have talked myself into it. But I KNOW it is a fact of my life.

Diane - I really do get that vibe from you--the overworked, extremely competent, under-compensated professional. One day, I want to build a team of women like you and start a business, and then make sure you are compensated for the work you do. It would be a fantastic investment. Hope you had a great weekend!

TBird - So nice to see a new face on here! I have been trying to think of something to say that would be helpful and uplifting without minimizing the fact that you're facing cancer, but have been coming up short. I can't even imagine the challenge of something like that. I do get what you mean about dealing with an unfamiliar body, though. It has to be disconcerting, especially given your other health issues. Glad you're tackling it, and glad you're tackling it with us.

I skipped work Thursday and Friday, intending to work from home. Instead, I ate myself sick and struggled to get out of bed. I wanted to do it again today, but committed to taking kids to school so I knew I would have to get to work. I have a plethora of sick leave and good will built up, so I could stay home without much significant consequence, but I know myself well enough to know that staying home will likely make it I'm so far behind now, and still fighting my way out of this headspace. I'm grateful that my exercise habits are so well-ingrained, however, as I continued to walk, lift weights, and run, though at a lower-intensity level.

Goals for the Day-
1 - 20K steps
2 - 2 sets of bodyweight exercises
3 - Get to the gym
4 - Eat smarter.
5 - Actually get work done
6 - Eat a cup of spinach today.

I don't feel like doing any of this, but the beauty is, I don't need to feel like doing any of it to do it. Hopefully, I will be able to force myself to go through the motions. So often, going through the motions and getting the serotonin boost associated with accomplishments can spring me from the depression prison. That will be my hope today.

Hope all y'all have a great day, despite the frightening and depressing national news.

Laurie: Sorry you had a rough weekend. It's hard to break off that path sometimes once it begins. I would have so much trouble working from home. I know it would be so much quieter, but it would probably be so hard for me to get out of my own head. I do that anyway when I take a day off that isn't the weekend or a holiday. Anyway, glad you are still making your goals and taking the positive way!

For me, I went to the gym to run today. I had really wanted to go hiking this weekend, but it was so rainy. It is raining today, so it might be a little while before I can go hiking after work, too. Mud is everywhere. But, maybe the sun will come out soon and start drying everything. I'll go tomorrow to lift weights, and hopefully hike after work.

Food is still a struggle. I can feel myself heading into the mindset of "hunting is coming", so I'll worry about it after that week. Not a great way to be, but I do this every year.... :) I still have all of this week and most of next week for work, so I don't need to be like that yet. Oh well.

Hope everyone else is good!!!

Good morning!

Diane - I like to run in the rain, and I sometimes like to slug through mud. But I think you're definitely doing the smart thing by not risking injury by trying to hike in that. Can't be injured for hunting season! I'm so appreciative of your daily check-ins, by the way. I love reading what you have to write, and I love the reminder that we're not alone in this. Hopefully, the sun will do its work, and you'll be able to enjoy the fall hiking season!

I worked from home yesterday. My kids' school district received threats of violence, and they closed school. Ugh. I have not recovered from my latest bout with depression, but I am feeling better than I was. I am getting back on the wagon, in a number of ways. Goals are part of that. So...

1 - Eat mindfully. Again.
2 - 15K steps.
3 - Stump marching with the family.
4 - Weigh in the morning.
5 - Get up in time to hit the gym before work.

HI. , very new to this. Am I allowed to steam my 2 cups of veggies or even put mushrooms and spinach with water in frying pan ? Or does it have to be raw ?
Thanks!

Good morning!

Ddelaney - I think you probably posted this to the wrong thread? I would love to try to answer your question, but it sounds like your questions are about a specific diet, and I'm not familiar with the diet. Hope you find an answer, and that you're successful in your endeavors!

I had a better day yesterday. There's something magical, for me, about publishing my goals to this group. I didn't want to weigh this morning, but I did. And only becauuse I said I would. I also got up for the gym, but ended up dealing with some other stuff, so didn't actually go to the gym. Back up to 147.6. It AMAZES me how fast I can gain weight. But I am feeling stronger and more capable of dealing with this stuff, and I know I feel much better physically and mentally when I tackle this stuff head-on, so I am on it again! And hopefully, at least the first three or four pounds will come off relatively effortlessly, since it might be just carby water weight.

Goals -
1 - Eat mindfully.
2 - Work out before work in the morning.
3 - Tai chi with the family.
4 - Run or lift weights this afternoon.
5 - Three sets of bodyweight exercises.
6 - 15K steps.

Laurie: It is so amazing how quickly weight can come back on. What a pain! I'm sure you'll get it back down. I'm glad you post your goals, too. They give me ideas and inspiration!

For me, I'm feeling the relaxing mode coming on. It looks like we may not be able to hunt the entire season, but I'll still have 6 days off, and I can't wait. I am needing some time away for sure!! One more week of work, and then I'm done... starting next Friday.

Kind of fighting a little plantar fasciitis. It isn't as bad as I have had it in the past, but kind of sore. So, taking it a little easy.

Hope everyone has a good weekend. Not much to report today, for me. :)

Just a quick check-in from me, too. I am still not mentally on track, but I am getting there. Glad to continue to have this resource.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Hey Laurie: Glad you are still checking in even when you're not where you want to be. It is so easy to just get a little off and then not want to check in and take the time to write anything. Hang in there! I hope things start going better for you soon!

For me, I'm just trying to survive the week. I can't wait to have some time off, but the 4 days before that happens are the big unknown. I'm hoping that nothing too weird comes in! I will be off next week, but I think I'll be home a lot, so I'll check in. If you don't hear from me, I'm still off the grid. But I'll be back.

Good afternoon!

Second try at a check-in. My partially-written entry from this morning was deleted.

Diane - Hope that the plantar fasciitis goes away. I have that, too, though I have not had a flare-up in some time. But it can get pretty tender and make it difficult to walk, and you deserve to have a fantastic, pain-free hunting season. You've worked really hard to stay fit enough that you can enjoy the rigors of hunting. Hope you get through the "I don't want to come back to a mess, so I am going to work really hard to get ahead" next four days.

I am still working to get and stay on track, but things are much better. I am also in a better headspace right now. Still behind at work, but that's a constant. I have not been as productive as I would like, though, so I am hoping that I will be more productive. I did have a physical this morning, and my lungs and heart have definitely benefited from my (fairly) consistent exercise routine.

Goals for the day -
1 - Two sets of body weight exercises.
2 - Run for 3 miles.
3 - 20K steps.
4 - Finish the first four things on my to-do list for work.
5 - Increase mindfulness in general, and mindful eating in particular.

Hope everyone has a fantastic day!

Quiet around here the past few days... Just a quick check-in for me.

I didn't actually accomplish any of yesterday's goals, but it was a "shoot for the stars, don't be disappointed by landing on the moon" scenario, so I'm pretty okay with it. Except #5. I think I probably did #5, but it isn't a particularly quantifiable goal, so it's hard to say.

I weighed this morning. Up to 147. I'm even sort of okay with that, partially because I now have a goal to work toward. Gotta say - I kinda like working toward goals, even though I would also sort of like the weight control issue to sink into the background. However, at least I won't be surprised by "middle age weight creep." I am going to try and hit my goals for today, though.

Goals.
1 - Two sets of body weight exercises.
2 - 22K steps (make up for yesterday's 2K deficit)
3 - Finish the first four things on my to-do list for work. (Two of those things are different)
4 - Increase mindfulness in general.
5 - Create a weight/fat percentage log and weigh and measure regularly, starting with tomorrow morning.

Hope everyone has a great day!

Laurie: Glad that you are in a better head space now. I like your goals and think that you should give yourself some credit, even if you don't meet them every day. You've done some wonderful things in the past year, and you should be proud. Now you have a little bit of a weight goal, too, so something to strive for!!

As for me, just plugging through the day. I am so anxious to be done with the next few days! It has been a long time since I've had a vacation, so it is definitely time! My heel was really sore last night, but I think that hunting will be fine. My boots are really fitted well, so they will actually provide more support and will probably make it better.

I hope that those who are not posting right now are doing well. You are missed!!

Good morning!

Diane - The countdown to vacation is ON! Glad that you are taking care of the foot with proper footwear and support, but really hope the flare-up goes away quickly. You deserve some time to get your relaxation on!

Still not hitting goals, and didn't even make even real effort to get my run in this morning. But I'm not out of control yet. I will, however, try to be far more focused in doing those things I KNOW I need to do to be successful.

Goals -
1 - First five things on my to-do list at work. Actively discourage people from talking to me so I can do that. (That tends to be the biggest problem -- people coming into my office to chat. Don't they have work to do?)
2 - 25K steps, whether running or walking. Gonna have to move briskly to accomplish it.
3 - Weigh in the morning.
4 - Create weight and fat percentage charts for October and November.
5 - Get my clothes/gym bag organized so that I am getting my work-out in during the morning again.
6 - Get to bed at a decent time.
7 - Three sets of body weight exercises.

And I echo what Diane said. I do miss hearing the voices of the fantastic people who have posted here regularly, but haven't been posting in the last week or two. Hope things are going well for y'all.

Hello! Can I join you all? I’ve been in the decade loss threads but they have gotten quiet and/or the others have a bit more success than myself in moving down the scale then I do. I was on the site last summer/fall and then w/winter and stress my weight went up and I fell away. So I’ve been back at actively loosing again and hope this time to especially stick through the winter. And I seem to do well w/like minded people in this journey (or fight - depends on the day 😊).

I met slash last year on here - good to see your doing well and getting ready for your hunting season.

Myself: I’m a SAHM and I tend to eat when my kids do and mindless eat. Which isn’t great and I enjoy baking (ok I’m a mean cookie baker) so I tend to sample. I had started this new attack of weight with calorie counting and limited exercise. I have now added in IF which seems to be going fairly well for me which I’m surprised with. The benefits in the last few weeks - my belly area isn’t as puffy and fluffy. My measurements are down as well. I’ll take what I can get with each little thing that indicates I’m loosing weight. My scale is a slow mover and I tend to do poorly around TOM -but I find who doesn’t?!

So if you don’t mind me joining in and helping cheer you all along and giving me encouragement to keep this going, I’d appreciate it!

Lemonthyme!!! So glad to see you again!! I actually had seen your name over on the decades thread and wondered how things were going for you. That's awesome that you're posting here. While I do like the idea of the decades threads, they can be discouraging if you aren't moving along as fast as others, and then you have buddies who leave you behind! Ha! I am working on a regain, too. I was doing really well, and then had an injury that kind of took over and I've struggled getting back on track. As I recall, you were big into gardening? Is that right? I guess that is probably coming to an end with fall in the air. Anyway, welcome! Laurie Dawn has lost a lot of weight but continues to post here and offers lots of encouragement and insight.

Laurie: Had to laugh at your goals, showing the frustration with people who chat. We have someone where I work who is just a delight. She works nearby my desk and there are people in and out of her office all day, just chatting. She's too nice to tell them to leave, but I know she gets frustrated. Anyway, glad to see your goal list!

For me, I'm just trying to hold on to my attitude for today and tomorrow. I need to get away from work so much!!! I'm hoping for a major regroup with my week off. I need to make it happen. I've been hanging on ok, but I need to get that discipline back and really stay on the food plan. Workouts are always easier for me, but I need to make sure it all fits together.

Yep it’s me! And my gardening - let’s just say I’m the lady w the plant death thumb this year. But I still got canning done (MILs tomatoes) for salsa and went to orchards for my blueberries and apples. I’m keeping my eyes open for pears yet at the grocery to can as I like my fruits in the cold months.

Oh the gain and loss and gain again can be a vicious cycle for me and I finally said to heck with it I’ll be traveling twice next year I’d like to be able to walk without many issues and not worry about the chub rub on my thighs when I walk and I’d like to fit into an airplane seat w some extra room if there is ever any anymore. and I’d like to feel good about myself. So the more focused outlook right now. Fall and winter are awfully hard for me - it’s dang cold here then, I don’t like to go out in the cold or dark, I like to eat my comfort foods and bake - you see where this is going and why I’m looking for support to encourage me. Oh - and my DH still believes showing his love in part is with food😊. So hopefully I will do better - the constant chatter is a help for me and a place to bounce ideas or frustration.

Alas - that is what’s up for me. Trying to work my way down the scale a little at a time. I hope y’all can help me and I’ll try and help you all.

232.4

Today I awoke and that same flabby tum bit I’ve been known to grab before I get out of bed is reducing. And today I feel thinner. I know I’m not terribly in great shape as my clothes still feel the same but when I viewed myself in the mirror I didn’t look as lumpy so I will take that feeling and go with it.

Have one kids costume to finish up this week. I have to spray paint a rocket pack. And let it air out so it’s not too stinky by Halloween night. And my house is always on my list to get cleaned. I never get it completely done now does it last w/ my family!

Once kids in the bus I’ll go for my quick walk. I had taken my iPod the other days walk and it turned off so I didn’t have what my steps were so I’ll try again today - more just so I have an idea of the ground I’m covering.

Hope everyone is well!

Good morning!

LemonThyme - So glad you've joined us! I'm not a particularly talented baker, but my husband (who is less than impressed with my culinary talents in general) decided that my chocolate chip cookies are good, so I go in spurts of baking them. And I sample cookie dough. I've developed a strategy where I am not allowed to have any dough until all of the cookies are in the oven, then I scrape the bowl. Sometimes it works. Sometimes, I don't have the discipline to do it. I LOVE that you're noticing and appreciating the positive changes, though. No matter where I am on the scale (and I have been as low at 140 and as high as 278 in the last few years), I can find things to love and things to criticize. Your determination to embrace the positive feelings is something I need to adopt as well.

Diane - You are exactly on point. I need to recommit. Recharge. Reenergize. Regroup. I am really glad you're getting a chance to (hopefully) chill and focus on what you need to make this happen. And I know that food is the most critical element to weigh loss/control, but I am becoming more and more convinced that consistent exercise is more important for just general life goals. I feel better when I'm consistently exercising. My depression is much better controlled. My ability to get things done is significantly enhanced. This pervasive idea that the primary purpose of exercise is weight loss has not been my experience. The food is important too, of course, but I love how consistent you are with the exercise.

I did something important, but risky, yesterday, and allowed myself to be consumed with anxiety about it. The anxiety led to a series of bad eating choices during the workday (fortunately rare for me, as my bad eating choices generally happen at home in the evening), and I felt physically ill by the time I got home--nauseated, raging headache, and low-energy. Every Wednesday and Thursday evening (custody days for my stepsons), we do work-out videos as a family, and my misery was both profound and self-inflicted. My husband geared up the yoga/Pilates combo video, and I determined to power through it, as the habit will die if I don't support it. As I burned through the excess calories, I started to feel better. I ate very little for dinner, as I was more nauseated than hungry still, and went for an after-dinner walk, and then felt much better.

So, new procedures for me, I suppose. When I do something risky, I need to recognize that it will produce anxiety, and I need to prepare myself for it. When I was captured by the anxiety, I knew I could do meditation or some other mindfulness exercise while I walked to calm the anxiety and make it manageable, but by the time I realized how anxious I was, I no longer had the discipline to use these techniques. So I ate cookies and candy that other people had brought to work and made available. If I had recognized the likelihood of anxiety and had used a technique at the start of the anxiety, I think my outcome would have been better. I did, however, get most of yesterday's goals done. I got 26K steps, weighed this morning, got to bed early, and did two of my three sets of body weight exercises. I was not as productive at work as I needed to be (again - anxiety issue), and did not organize my clothes/gym bag (sickness brought on by bad choices in reaction to anxiety). But it was a learning day, so I am going to consider it progress.

Goals.
1 - 20K steps
2 - Three sets of bodyweight exercises.
3 - Run in the morning.
4 - Weigh / do fat percentage measurement in the morning and record on my new charts.
5 - Laser focus at work to make up for yesterday's slackness. (I am going to try keeping my headphones in and pretending I can't hear people who try to interrupt me. =)

Hope everyone has a fantastic day! Almost the weekend, baby!

Laurie: I think husbands have things they remember from their past years and when you introduce something new they are always comparing to something from the past. In fact my DH this past weekend was doing that and I about gave him a hit! His mom who is neither a baker or cook made banana bread and here is my DH evaluating - who’s is better crap. Like any other recipe we have our favorites mine happens to be my dads recipe. My MILs was drier than dry and I like a moist bread. Alas, it’s always something to learn to work with.

I’m sorry anxiety and worry got the best of you. Do you have time in your work day when those feelings come up to quickly go take a walk? Does music help to relax or distract? Maybe finding a different outlet for this. Even grabbing a cup of tea or starring out your window and clearing your mind. I have also been reading on depression as DH suffers from SAD - one thing I keep reading is that there is a gut link to depression. Adding pro and pre biotics to your diet seems to help heal the brain and inflammation - do some reading on such if you are open to supplements and aiding the body w natural helpers.

Diane: I hope your hunting trip goes well. I seem to recall you enjoy the walking and time spent w DH. Have safe travels and a safe hunting experience. We’ll be starting that the week before thanksgiving here gun season that is. DH generally donates his if there is one in the freezer at his parents. I’m not a fan of venison.

HELLO ALL!

AM: worrying some in regards to one of my kids who’s gotten kind of quiet of
Late. Not sure if schoolwork is the struggle or the preteen social struggle. So I’m planning to focus on them this weekend breakfast out w mom and being my helper and close friend. We normally talk a lot but of late I’ve noticed a decline. I hope we can find a solution to this I don’t like seeing things like this. When I had my kids I remember seeing the statement of your heart walking around outside your body - oh how true!

I try to find something positive if I can about this journey each week. It’s hard but even the mundane or stupid - like I have space between my toes! Celebrate something. Maybe how your hair looks w/ a thinner face or how a top lies against your body differently or that fatty roll that has plagued you and now it’s a bit smaller when you grab it. Maybe we can make fridays a shout out to what made us happy about ourselves day? Think about it.

Ok off to get a kid off the bus and lunch ready for them. And then break my fast w something. I just had a piece of string cheese to begin. But I am uncertain what I’d like to eat this morning.

Happy afternoon all!

232.0

Slowly getting to the 220s -some days I wish it was quick to loose but maybe w/ the slower loss it will help the skin settle without the hang. Who knows how that will go. I’ll have to deal with it and just keep living life flab or not.

Today I’m off to get supplies to make raised garden beds as my soul is horrible of late for growing in. I have to do some final calculations and see what size of wood will work best and be most economical. Since I’ve got to buy dirt as well it gets a bit pricey but I’m tired of getting things in the garden and having in the end a mess w no produce. This last summer we had so much rain at critical times for growth, and I have so much sand just nothing did well except my
Marigold’s. Hah!

Weight wise I have been checking out how the outside package feels as in lumps/bumps and rolls that have been prominent are not as much. I have a mama belly that is FINALLY not as pronounced and hanging over quite as much. I think this weekend I’ll have DH take my photos so I can study myself. But I hope there is some noticeable difference besides he spaces between my toes!0

Happy weekend ahead all! Enjoy the fall weather (ok I’m inundated w fall here). Hope the scale continues to be kind to each of you. I’ll try to bop in this weekend to see what’s up. Happy weekend friends.

Good morning!

Diane - Vacation time awaits! I can't wait to hear about it when you get back. The Rocky Mountains in October. Crisp, cold, breathtakingly beautiful.

LemonThyme - I love the energy you bring here! I am down for the Friday shout-outs to ourselves. I hope that you're able to avoid the excess and loose skin as you lose. =) Progress is progress, though, as I try to remind myself. Glad you're headed down the scale. Thank you for your thoughts on my anxiety/depression issues. I do manage to take walks throughout the day, and the exercise and sunlight are helpful. I hadn't heard about the gut link to depression, but interestingly enough, I have started to regularly take both prebiotics and probiotics. Maybe they'll have a long-term positive impact on the depression thing? And I had to laugh about your MIL's recipe fails. My husband actually has no respect for his mother's cooking skills. I am forever doomed to be compared to his own cooking skills, and since he is more in tune with what he likes than I am, I shall never be successful, I'm afraid. =)

SHOUT OUT TO WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY - I am resilient. I struggle and fall, but I don't stay down. I am fighting off depression right now, but I am not going to stop fighting just because it happens to be really hard at the moment.

I used food twice yesterday to ease anxiety and cope with sadness. No good reason for either of them, but the brain does not always require a good reason, and my physiology is not my fault. It is not even my "fault" that I don't always make the best choices to cope with my medical issue. Perversely, the depression makes it hard to make good decisions about treating the depression.

I'm struggling even more today, so I am going to scale back my goals to just a few.

Goals.
1 - 12K steps.
2 - Two sets of body weight exercises before 5.
3 - Do five minutes of meditation to focus my mind and get back to work.
4 - Choose better options for dealing with sadness than food, which only leads to negative feedback loops and more depression. (If food were an effective treatment for depression, this would not be on my goals. I'd rather be fat than catatonic. But eating makes me feel worse, not better, after it temporarily quells the anxiety. There's gotta be a better way.)

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

My own shoutout: I am feeling less like the Venus of wilendorf - those extra places to grab are getting a bit less and if I look less like a horrible Stone Age statuette I’m all for!

I was bad today and grabbed some cookies while shopping as we were having a car picnic when we met DH to grab the garden items thereafter. I had packed some lunches and took with but we stopped at the grocery and what I thought would be a bit cheaper were not and the cookies were a treat but I had a bit too good of time! Oh well. I’ve been good this week up until now - I guess we can all have a bit of a wobble.

I got the Halloween candy today too. I’ll keep the bags sealed and only open them that night that way it will keep me Honest and I need to hide them from the kids and DH. Since we live in a small town we see about most of the kids so I’ve got a good assortment.

Otherwise the IF seems to help me out or at least help Keep moving the scale in a downward motion. I’m sure tomorrow it will not be w today’s cookies. However I plan on salad and chicken for myself tonight the rest will have a pasta. I try not to make multiple meals however I need to stay away from the pasta. Tomorrow am I have a date w/my girl and we’re going to breakfast. She got talking a bit more and that’s a help. You always wonder what goes through their noggins and I think sometimes as a parent we worry extra then even what they have thought of. Mountains out of molehills for me I guess! But we’ll go have breakfast and spend some Mom time together.

Ok I hope everyone is doing well. Oh and my 2nd self shout out: im sleeping more often themrough the night! Maybe it meets up w/weight loss or maybe not but I’m glad sleep is returning.

231.8

My goodness did I ever say my body does not like to leave the 230s?! A bit today, a bit yesterday it’s a weekend and weekends are hard for me.

I sit here watching a dvr of the great British baking show. All these sweets and breads in front of my face. Haha! Things look so good as they make them, I’m watching the hosts teach their items and learning a few things to maybe try the next time I bake. Which will be next week, as we travel to visit family again and perhaps help and visit w corn harvest.

I got my new batteries in the scale - no more bouncing as a number lands. Yeah! And 231.8 I haven’t seen since when last July when I tried this last? Oh I’m hopeful for the 220s next week. I can do this.

Oh -I don’t update my tickers but once a week usually unless of course I’m super excited to have moved downward. So there may be bit of discrepancy. I don’t have time to putz with it often and I like those tickers art better than the ones here on the site (a bit outdated if you will).😊

As I watch this show and type I just wonder why the world is so fast and crazy and then you look at the simplicity of baking or being creative in the kitchen and you say where have we lost the simple time for this type of pleasure? I’m not super fab but always trying to learn or try something new. Don’t get me wrong I’ve got my stable of favs. But I watch this and in general when people are in the kitchen there always seems to be a smile that hatches. (This dissipates at cleanup and dish time I’m sure!).

Alas - will try to keep the scale at this level all weekend and not to go upwards. If it happens it happens but I’ll try not too.

Ok off to finish my coffee and show and then to wrap some gifts for others birthdays. Look at a Christmas and travel list as we’ll be doing traveling in the new year and just getting things purchased each payday so not all at once. And maybe get a walk in between the rain clouds.

Enjoy your weekends! May your scales be kind.

My laptop died and acquiring a replacement wasn't as simple as it might have been. And even though all my files were backed up on my external drive my bookmarks weren't so that's been a process too...

But I'm back and I really want to get back in the semi-regular posting habit.

I have to say coming to this group is super good for me and I'm glad to see Diane and Laurie and Lilion still here. Welcome to LemonThyme too!

Even though I've been tracking my food in MFP over the last 3 months I haven't really been counting calories. I haven't been eating EVERYTHING like I used to but I order what I want when I go out to dinner and if I feel like stopping for an ice cream I get one (but not a whole pint!). So for three months I've eaten like I think I'll probably eat for the rest of my life and I HAVEN'T gained any weight. I haven't lost any, but I haven't really been trying to lose. I've just been comfortably coasting and I haven't gained any weight. This is huge new for me. We all know how easy and fast weight comes back so not gaining is a biggie. And I haven't been feeling deprived or stressed about eating at all. Which makes me think I can really maybe do this forever.

However, I really want to lose 50 more pounds. So it's back to counting and not having those ice creams.

The other thing different this time is I've traded out my Fitbit for a Motiv Ring. The ring focuses on active minutes rather than footsteps. It tracks footsteps (and I've found it accurate but others have not). I like the active minutes idea since it counts things like stacking firewood. Not many footsteps involved in moving a cord of wood but there's a lot of lifting and bending. The Motiv tracks that. So I feel like I'm getting "credit" the Fitbit denied me. It's all mind games but part of losing weight and keeping it off definitely takes mind games....

50 pounds here I come! Or there you go! or something like that....

Hello Vlad! Oh that darn ice cream - it’s such a foul temptor! I’m in the dairy state so I know it’s call quite well. The good thing is summers over and my want for cold deliciousness goes down so maybe you will have the same luck since you are in the NE. 50lbs sounds doable - overwhelming - but doable! Some
Days those large numbers seem so daunting. I’ve been trying to focus on those smaller numbers and then I feel I can breathe some.

Diane: enjoy the hunt! Are you making stews and soups or cooking over open fire?

Laurie: hope everything is starting to settle back down for you. Yes there is a doctor who believes a lot of depression stems from the gut and inflammation helps fuel it. I can see where that sounds like a good link up. She tends to treat her patients with the probiotics first instead of the ssris or other meds. I’ve been reading on this because of my DH. I find it interesting they are doing more with probiotics for studies and also finding that traditional areas for them ie yogurt have stability issues for long term. That said maybe take a dive into looking up some info on. I actually find my DH is in better spirits without being on his meds (doctor weaned him off) which intrigues me as well - he easily laughs once again - I missed that. On the meds, it was more forced if it happened at all.

Hello all!

My afternoon is progressing. Still raining and cold out so loafing about a bit today. I have laundry to begin - I had waited until DH remedied the toilet problem (shared space) before getting that underway.

Do any of you lift weights? I have access to a universal machine at my little gym. Is there anything you’d recommend for the upper body? I’m thinking to add a few more items to what I do. Maybe the bat wings will tone up if weight goes.

TOM found me - so not only a weekend, but that to fight through again. Last time I didn’t count and I ate. Not so wise and hope I can stick with calories this time. Here’s to hoping I can stay strong and avoid sugars and chocolate that so calls my name then. AND I CAN MOVE INTO A NEW DECADE. Maybe if I shouted it it will come true?

Afternoon all - I’m off to launder and clean.

LemonThyme - yeah, cooler weather definitely helps with the ice cream issue. I'm going out to dinner tomorrow night but then it's ack to the straight and narrow for a while.

Diane - I hope you are enjoying your vacation. I'm just finishing up a 2 week staycation. I soooo needed it and I wish it was longer. But I'm feeling refreshed enough to head back in tomorrow night at least. It beats unemployment anyway.

Laurie - depression is awful and I have no answers. I drink a pint of kefir every day because it's been proven to help with depression (the gut to mind link LemonThyme mentioned). It does help and I really really know if I miss a couple days. But I'm still often depressed. I think the kefir doesn't alleviate the depression so much as it makes me less bothered my it, more able to live with it. But it's still there....

232.8

I went up a bit but expected to as I had a beer, slice of pizza and breakfast out topped w TOM I may or may not hop on scale for the next few days as I know it gets crazy w that and my mood and outlook will swing to the bottom if I see high numbers which inevitably I do. So avoid scale and eat better the next few days. Fasting yet about 1 hr 15 left. Having my coffee right now as my belly warmer.

Today will see me dangling off a ladder cleaning eaves troughs. Good thing we only have 3 runs that need clean out and they are just straight runs. Of course the leaves are still falling but it’s still warm enough to deal with water to do the clean out. So a bit of exercise with that. However it’s still raining so it’s on hold at the current moment.

Need to deal w that darn equi*** mess. Hesitant to do so - seems they still have issues and your trusting a company to watch out for you when they didn’t watch out for you to begin with. It’s not the first time we’ve been involved - I think between DH and I with all the last big hacks in the last 5 years we’ve gotten “those” notifications of compromise multiple times. It’s to the point in thought what the heck do you do to protect anything anymore? I think it’s ridiculous.

Ok enough of my soapbox on inept companies and their practices. Will find something to enjoy in my day and get on with it. May you all have a good day in whatever you are doing. Maybe the weight will come of for each of you.

Well I did pretty well today for it being a challenge time Body wise. I’m watching the game with DH and downing 32 oz of water before bed. It kills me middle of night and I wake. But I find it I don’t drink it before bed my scale stays a bit more static. Not sure why that is.

I steamed fresh broccoli for our veg tonight - I haven’t had for a few weeks and when I do I have forgotten how fresh and green it appears and how it tastes. Sorry but this weekend I am enamored by the simple things.

May you all have a good start to your week. I’ll be traveling w/the end of mine so that always gives me opportunity to hate my scale when I return. And I’m hopeful it won’t be a lot of hate 🙃

Happy evening

If I post first thing I do better with my day. Sorry for being wordy it helps me with my thoughts about it all and allow me some adult convo.

Did not weigh in

Nope will not for the next few days. I will walk, bike if I get out of bed early enough and count calories. Once it’s moved on then I’ll weigh in. Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised. Who knows. TOM drives me batty w cravings and it’s craziness associated with it. And you can check my weight tracker and the line always looks like a speed bump or a zit for that time and then heads on down again eventually.

I added a 1/4 mile to my walk. I’m just keeping it within the neighborhood - I am not a fan of large dogs and my little town is heavy on pit bulls and lab/pit mixes. When I was little and walked to school I was scared by a German Shepard who could leap over his 3 ft fence and I think my apprehension goes back to that. So the route I walk, all dogs tend to be inside at school start time so thats a help and I don’t have the larger dog anxiety.

Have to finish up the Halloween costume I have a jet pack and to spray and paint a space man helmet. Then it will be done. Yeah! I also need to finish decorating the house. I’m so behind. One day I’ll feel on top of it all but then it will be Christmas.

I’m a sewer so I was perusing patterns last night and I might try another never tried on my body silhouette and embrace whatever changes I’m seeing. I’m looking too for a different wrap dress pattern - no iron and knit and I’d love to find a print that sings. Thus far I have not found what I have in my minds eye. But the weight loss allows me to try something a bit different.

Ok well I’m off to fast on and get the day underway. Enjoy your day and may your scales all be doing well!

Good morning, All!

LemonThyme - So glad you joined our group! I love your daily, chatty posts. Although, until I saw the context, I wondered why you were calling yourself a sewer. Because I read it as a place where filth and refuse collects. =) You asked about weight lifting. Both Diane and I lift weights, though I don't know for sure whether Vladadog does or not. I'm not a big fan of the machines, though, so I am not well-versed on them. What I would recommend is that, if you can, you buy yourself a few weight plates or handweights as a starting point (maybe 10 pounds at first, and then slowly add?) and do some basic lifts, like squats and deadlifts and dumbbell raises. I use the book New Rules of Lifting for Women, and there's a spreadsheet someone created that you can Google to track the lifting. I do recommend that you read and use the book, but you could also just use the spreadsheet and YouTube the lifts. The principal of the book is that it's intended for overall health and strength, rather than specialized lifts for body building. In other words, if you are committing hours a day to lifting, it makes sense to do bicep curls, which isolate and train one particular muscle group. If, however, you are more like me, and only commit to 45 minutes or so every other day, full body exercises make more sense. A deadlift, for example, requires you to engage your core muscles, your legs, and your arms. I also do bodyweight exercises almost every day. I do a series of push-ups, wallsits, and planks. These are tough, at least for me. Thank you for the information about probiotics and prebiotics. It is definitely something I will try.

Vladadog - I am so impressed (and perhaps jealous!) that you've found a maintaining pace. I have NEVER been able to sustain my weight over a longer period of time without concentrated effort. You give me hope. I also appreciate the tip on kefir. I Googled it, and it looks like it would be like drinking milk. I hate milk. But I also drink a green drink that is not delicious. I am going to try it. I enjoy yogurt, so this might not be too bad. And if it alleviates the depressive symptoms, that would be a godsend. SO glad to see you back and posting, BTW. Glad you're getting your computer issues straightened out.

I'm still mired in some depression stuff. I went out to lunch with my husband on Friday, and the server messed up my order, and never came back to check to see if it was okay. I could not muster the energy to find someone and ask for it to be changed, nor could I make myself eat something I didn't want, even though I was really, really hungry. So, I paid for food that went 100% untouched, and was angry at myself for doing it. I was also doing the silent, unbidden tear thing that I could not manage to stop. I walked my husband back to his vehicle after lunch, and he said a brusque, unkind, but relatively minor thing, and I had to walk away to find someplace not on the public street where I could sob uncontrollably. I got it together just enough to go back to my office, but soon found myself crying there. Ugh.

So, this weekend was putting one foot in front of the other, making deliberate choices. And I decided not to weigh this morning, and did not get up to run. I decided that today was my day to put it all back together, and I made myself go to work. I came in to a cornucopia of sugar for Bosses' Day. Donuts. Cookies. Candy. And I don't want it, and may not want it later. But what bad timing. **SIGH**

Goals.
1 - Do the first five things on my work to-do list
2 - Walk 20K steps
3 - Stay away from caffeine and Mio drinks (I worry that the artificial sweeteners and caffeine are messing with my moods.)
4 - Stop at the store to buy some kefir.
5 - Weigh in tomorrow morning and log the weight. Same with fat percentage.
6 - Make deliberate and thoughtful food choices.
7 - Do a better job regulating my self-talk (tell myself stories of capability and accomplishment rather than denigrate myself)
8 - Three sets of bodyweight exercises.
9 - Print out and check off my goals

Lots of goals today to honor my need to be very careful with decisions, as the wrong decisions can throw me into painful relapse.

Good god - peanut butter - I have had a craving for peanut butter today. What the heck? I normally can have a serving once a week and be perfectly fine except - today! I have a low fat version (anyone care to venture a guess what pea protein is, it’s ingredient 4) and I shouldn’t be enamoured with it by any means!

Laurie: I sew, seamstress, creative w/sewing machine, fabric cutter outer - but no waste removal pipes 😄 one of my kids always gets frustrated with spelling tests as we have so many words spelled or pronounced the same all with different meanings and then she asks why we do this. I have no real answers other than when we sit and realize we once again understand it makes no sense. No worries - in the end you got it! Thanks for the info on weights I’ll have to do more research and see what I can come up with.

Ok I’m off. And trying to avoid peanut butter. I’m hoping it’s a fleeting moment stuck w only today.

LOLOLOLOL. I also sew but even in reading in context I first read sewer as "a place where filth and refuse collects". It's just one of those funny words.

I don't lift weights as an exercise, but I stacked a cord of firewood this weekend. A cord is 4 feet high by 4 feet wide by 8 feet long - so moving that from point A to a point B about 15 feet away is some amount of weight lifting.... I'll have another cord to move this coming weekend. And then 2 more after that. Then all winter there's the daily armload or two into the house. That's really all the weightlifting I want to do...

I make my own kefir and have never tried store bought stuff. I think mine if a bit thicker than standard because I tend to let mine ferment 3-4 days rather than the traditional 1. But kefir tastes like yogurt and presents as just a thinner yogurt. It is, however, much more complex set of organisms. I think it makes a great smoothie base and a tasty, filling smoothie. A lot of claims get made for "health foods" but kefir is one where the claims have actually been tested and proven. It has been shown to reduce the growth of tumors. And it has been compared to prozac. The study that caught my eye was done with mice - the control group were put one by one in a tub of water. They could not escape and became frantic and either drowned or would have drowned if the researchers had not rescued them (I forget which and hope it was the latter but I know the life of lab animals is sad....). The mice given kefir didn't freak out and panic. They just kept swimming and swimming. They also would eventually drown from sheer exhaustion but they stayed calm. Were they depressed at the end? Who knows... but they weren't stressed out about and I figure that's a start....

Do not mention peanut butter... I caved tonight and had a PB cookie from the stash of donated baked goods here at work. *Then* I checked MFP... 370 calories. In one cookie. Ai yi yi.... It was a yummy cookie but not 370 calories yummy.... I tend to not keep PB in the house since I have been known to just eat it with a spoon...but I do buy it occasionally for a Thai dumpling recipe. I try to use the jar up quickly so I don't get tempted....

I hope you ladies have successful and temptation free days today!

Also, Diane is hunting but where is Lilion? And ToastedSmoke? And DreadPiratePanda Amanda has been missing even longer than I was there for a while. And Uber and Pacifica and Frances.... come back! Check in! Let us know how you're doing!

Vlad: I’ve only made my own ricotta and yogurt. I find it amazing when you read on fermented foods and what benefits they offer. Makes you wonder if this was on the first line for defense for health issues and they would be easier to solve or help with before a med. I had a problem w/ a boney bump on top of my foot which was preventing me from bending my foot easily into a shoe of any height. My doctor was like it’s a bunion and surgery will be needed. Well telling me elective surgery I’m like - dollars flying out the window not to mention healing w/active kids! So I went and looked online to see what could be done - massage or heat or the like. I found magnesium oil. What could I loose besides a few bucks on a bag of salt. I made a batch and began using and in two weeks I went from no range of motion to being able to wear 2” heels. I guess what I’m babbling on is sometimes it pays to try something that most doctors would say is a no - I’ve even had them tell me use of natural items was hocus pocus (no lie, 2 different doctors/clinics). As long as it doesn’t interfere with your meds and helps you out - try it.

Oh stacking wood - totally avoid. My ILS heat mainly w/ their wood stove. And I noticed my FIL had wood delivered and now all neatly stacked and I think he thinks he’s planning for the deep freeze! I think he’s added an additional row this year - his cord lots appear lots larger than previous years. Maybe he knows something I don’t.

Laurie: how are you doing today? I hope your mood improved greatly for you. I’m sorry you are battling everything at once. I can only offer the thought to take a bit more time for yourself - something you enjoy immensely and makes you smile large. Oh and work food - I was one of those guilty ones when I worked - I was known to be a stress baker at the time - my coworkers knew when I was super busy treats would be traveling in with me at some point.

Diane: did you get your deer? Up here it’s always the thrill for the large buck. Most generally, if it has any rack these men in my family will take it. I have my share of mounted antlers I inherited w/marriage. At least the large mount is at my ILS - I live in the north woods and I’m an anomaly w/not having a deer head starring at me in my living room or a camo recliner in the house.

Hello all!

AM: still avoiding the scale maybe tomorrow and will see how I did. I won’t mention the aforementioned food from yesterday. Nope - got me in trouble I think! I had thought to eat upon wake up today but will see how long I can fast instead. I’ve got my coffee next to me.

Wouldn’t it be nice to be in the new decade?! I can only hope and work toward that goal. Here’s a new question - when do you start getting rid of your larger sized clothes? I know when I was on the site previously some of the ladies would immediately get rid of and others hung onto. Currently mine still fit me - looser in odd areas - a bit fuller on my legs etc. I’m just curious. I don’t have a huge clothing budget (hence the sewing with an existing fabric stash) to keep shopping so I’ll wear things a bit longer and maybe swim in them.

Ok I best end and re-read, I type on my phone and sometimes miss what I meant to say - so no waste stacks today for any of you! Hah! You all gave me a laugh with your responses. Enjoy your day - I’m off to slay mine somewhere. Oh I did measure the standard areas and that’s looking good so YEAH! Something is working.

I hopped on scale post coffee and it’s 232.8 - ok not as bad as I thought! Still doable here. 229 might be a possibility soon.