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Old 10-31-2014, 01:17 PM   #106  
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277 this morning (which is a new low).

Dinners planned for the weekend. Slow cooker cuisine in this house. Mandarin chicken (which is fairly low cal... my planned -generous- serving tonight only gonna be 550 calories including rice!), Japanese pepper steak tomorrow, and (not slow cooker but fairly easy) creamy seafood enchiladas. Those are pretty high calorie and I'll have to be careful even with my generous allotment for Sunday!

I'm also baking a cake Saturday night for Sunday after church. I'm gonna be playing in the kitchen all weekend. And I couldn't be happier! Seriously, there isn't much better for someone who loves to prepare a meal than seeing people enjoying it. It's like an artist watching someone admire their latest painting, or an author seeing someone reading their book.

Off to the store to buy the ingredients for tomorrow's cake, and in 2 weeks is the dessert auction and for that I'm baking a cake and preparing a different sweet treat (graham cracker pralines) on a request from a member of the church. The proceeds go to Relay for Life.

Hubby's yelling at me that we were supposed to leave 15 minutes ago. Back later!

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Old 10-31-2014, 01:47 PM   #107  
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Having a hard time being productive. Tired. Irritable. Sick. So back here to post. I suppose it could be worse.

Martini - The reason I told my stories without comment was that they were such odd encounters. I was actually a little creeped-out by the trainer's comment, but then thought I might be being too sensitive. While I loved that he noticed and was being supportive, the implication seemed to be that I was doing it so that he and guys like him could be wowed. And I'm really not.

I am so glad you're slowly getting things straightened out, and totally relate to the feeling that being on plan supports the ability to fix or endure other things in our lives. My big push to serious weight loss came when I was studying for the bar. I just needed the stability and endorphin push I was getting from taking care of myself through food and exercise to deal with the chaos of the bar.

Jenni - You totally need to kick the cruds. I am so sorry you are still feeling under the weather. And I only work out when I am a certain category of sick. Not when I have a stomach bug and am close to vomiting all day. But when I have a head cold, sometimes working out can help me burn through the phlegm in my passages. Yesterday, it sharpened the pain from my throat but really cleared out my sinuses, at least temporarily.

Mandy - A planner and an excellent cook. You and I are so different! The food sounds delicious.


There is lots of candy here at work, and cookies and punch. And I don't want any of it. Not in the kryptonite "realize it will slow my weight loss and so I don't want it" way. Rather, I don't want it in the "my throat hurts and it doesn't sound good" kind of way. I did have a Reese's peanut butter cup (my fave) and a Twix, but in just a perfunctory, "I should want this" way. It's not in my head calling to me and making me crazy. And, in that way, I feel blessed.

But so many people get blamed for weight issues. And I have a friend who always talks about being naughty when she eats off-plan, which I hate. I feel all rambly, so I will try to wrap it up. For some people, eating well is easy. They get plenty o' benefits from being thin, but they are not better than me because I struggle.
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Old 10-31-2014, 07:25 PM   #108  
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Hi all. I'll check in again this weekend. I wanted to come read how everyone is doing, but gotta run. Have a great weekend!!
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Old 10-31-2014, 10:40 PM   #109  
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Oh, Ladies. I am so far behind with you guys. Life has been crazy, obviously. I'm trying to get into the groove of this new schedule and such so I can get a routine down. It's been a lot slower going than I'd thought but I'll be honest, part of that is because I've been too lazy to plug in the laptop and turn it on when I get home. XD

The divorce is continuing. Slowly but it's going. I've got my appointment with the court facilitator on Monday and then if I'm lucky, Wednesday the 12th I might be able to go to an ex parte hearing and finally be done. We'll see how Monday goes.

I have been walking Luna as regularly as possible. Right now, I'm fighting both rain and dark most days. :/ I did manage to take her for a couple of long walks around the entire lake when we had some sunshine, though! So both she and I are happy about that.

I was looking at my numbers and on one had I'm a little frustrated because I have yet to drop below 195. I don't even feel like I'm in a place to give myself 195 yet. And while I have continued to lose inches, it's slow going. But I keep reminding myself that in spite of the craziness of the last month - the lack of sleep, the terrible eating, the inability to even get in decent length walks ... let alone strength training - I haven't gained. I haven't gained weight nor have I gained inches. That's a very, very good thing! It's HUGE. And my body, whether I see it every day or not is still continuing to change. I'm still fighting the blues about how large my gut is, and how jiggly... but I looked at a picture that my brother's fiance took today while I was out with Will and part of me wanted to cry.

I was wearing one of my brother's hoodies - it was swimming on me - so you can't really tell how much I've lost around the middle, but looking at it and looking at one from even six months ago and I have lost so much. I have changed so much. Yes, my body still has flaws. Yes, it's a work in progress. But it is progressing and I need to continue to be proud of how far I've come and about the fact that this last month didn't lead to a back slide. That is SO IMPORTANT and such a HUGE victory in itself.

I don't remember if I mentioned it but I realized how much I'd lose everywhere when I tried my wedding rings on a week or so ago and they felt uncomfortably loose. If I didn't have such big knuckles - from popping, I know - it might just have fallen off. And I went to put my fingers around my wrist to see how close I was to being able to touch my finger tip to my thumb.... I used to struggle to touch my middle finger to my thumb. It overlaps now. My middle finger touches comfortably and, though it's tight, I can just barely hit my index finger with my thumb when holding my wrist. That's CRAZY.

In other news. I am both excited and nervous about tomorrow. I start selling for commission. XD It's gonna be scary! But I'm confident I'll do okay. And tomorrow is the start of National Novel Writing Month. So many numerical goals I need to hit in November. XD

Last Saturday, things with J got interesting. It's become clear that we both have a mutual physical attraction to each other as well. More than that, when we ended up getting together when I got of work, I couldn't help but be impressed by his restraint... despite the thoughts we were both having he sensed my hesitation - though he mistook it for resistance - and didn't force the issue. On one hand it was incredibly flattering to be respected. On the other, part of me wanted him to have stopped being a gentleman for five seconds and just made a move so I could follow his lead...

We've been sitting in something of a holding spot since because neither of us really knew where to go. Like I said, we've both expressed an attraction but there's the worry that if something doesn't happen things good get awkward. So I took sometime to step back this week and do a lot of reflecting on myself and why I do things that I do. Despite how much I trust him, how easily that comes, how I might not like when other women, say, invite him over, it doesn't make me jealous in a sense where I question what he did. That comes from another DH from Home Depot inviting him over and - from what he said, it turned from a work thing to a bunch of people over out her house and then she started flirting with all the guys because her husband was ignoring her. The thing is, he didn't have to tell me about that at all. I thought he was studying that night and I never would have questioned it. We're not in a relationship, it's none of my business to know what he does. But he still told me. That sort of effortless honesty between us is so comforting. Still.... I couldn't help but wonder what the extent of his feelings were... are...

Well, anyway, I posted this on Facebook last night: "So of two things I am now certain. One, you're more likely to get hit on working as a wireless consultant than freight at Home Depot. Two, apparently I'm more attractive than I give myself credit for. In the last 5 days I've had at least 3 men flirt with me... including one who went so far as to ask for my number."

I have to say, the message I got from J a little while later was incredibly flattering. It also made me wish I hadn't given the guy my number. The thing is, at the moment he asked, I figured, who knows what J's feeling. It couldn't hurt to give someone my number and consider taking them up on an offer for coffee...

Turns out, J - who doesn't get jealous - got a little jelly. In his words, "Ok so last post...ummmm....so I have no right to be all jealous.....but yeah...."

The truth is, he has absolutely no reason to be jealous. Not because he doesn't have a right, but because there is no more trying not to fall. There is no I'm falling... I've fallen. Hard. In my life, I've encountered a mere three men who could catch my breath with both their intellect and charm. One was my first boyfriend - a guy named Josh, though we'll call him Crow because that was his childhood nickname (my brother was J-Bird... they were heavy into wrestling, lol). He was a friend of my brother for 5 years before we dated the first time. Things ended awkward and then we dated again, long distance, for about 8 months when I was in high school. I broke it off because I knew there was someone else, someone local that he was falling for and I wasn't going to wait around for him to decide if I was worth it again.

The second was/is Missouri. While Crow was my first crush and my first boyfriend, I'd have to say that Missouri was my first real love. He never got compared to Crow and he's the standard that I held most men to. He meant more to me than my soon-to-be ex that I stopped talking to him when I got married because if I'd continued to talk to him it would have just been wrong. We reconnected so easily about at the beginning of this year and I realized I never let myself get over him. I was pretty sure that I never would. Every guy I've met in the last seven years has gotten compared to him.

Until J (who is also named Josh, by the way) managed to slip in without me even realizing he was. Or that he had. He walks the border of man and gentleman so well. He's so kind, such a gentleman, incredibly intelligent, not afraid to speak his mind, he's honest. Honest in such a refreshing way. And creative.... my point is, as you might have noticed, I'd be lying if I tried to suggest that I hadn't fallen for him. And yet in a weird way, I'm okay with that. I'm still being careful but I'm still being honest with myself....

Anyway, I've gotten off track. I spent last night and this morning in a restless sleep trying to decide what to tell the guy I gave my number to. I went with what I do best. Honesty. I told him, full disclosure, I'm in a divorce (which I had mentioned before) and that it's taking up a lot of my time. That I don't trust or let my guard down easy and that if we did get together I'd rather perhaps coffee to dinner. But, most importantly, that it would be a lie of omission if I didn't tell him that while I don't have a boyfriend I have developed quite an affection for a guy I used to work with over the last six months and that I don't know how he feels but that it's a question I'm waiting to broach until after my divorce. There is a little leeway there - we've established the mutual attraction and I'm getting close enough to the end of my divorce that if Josh was interested in pursuing an actual relationship I think I could be okay with that. But it was as honest as I could comfortably be about something like that with a stranger.

Now I just wait. J and I are going to try and get together Saturday. I even went out and bought some heels, new jeans, and a bra that makes my cleavage look awesome. But yeah. I'm sure the question of whether or not I actually gave the guy my number is going to come up. I'm sure he might pout a little when I say yes. But I'd like to think that when I explain that up until last night I wasn't entirely sure the extent, or source, of his attraction and reassure him that as long as he's interested, he has nothing to be concerned about, he'll understand. Because if he's got any sort of interest, I can wait - or we progress - but I have to be sure to not let myself fall for and dwell on someone if they just want to be friends. XD

Oh my god, this week has been all kinds of crazy.
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Old 11-01-2014, 09:52 AM   #110  
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Hey everyone, how was halloween? It's not a trick-or-treating big deal here but schools do have candy and costume parties these days and I think nightclubs and lounges and bars probably do theme nights but it's not "a thing" here yet and we don't get all the wonderful themed candy etc.

Jenni: I'm sorry you're feeling so unwell. My go-to's when my stomach feels fragile are toasted white bread and saltines or water crackers. I also sometimes do sweet, milky/creamy, chamomile which I find really soothing and comforting.

Laurie: When I'm ill, the world just seems a lot harder and miserable, like I don't have the emotional wherewithal to just bounce back from the daily grinders- bad weigh ins, errors in my work etc. Yay the compliments, you deserve each and everyone because you really are one of the most dedicated people I know here and in real life!!! Feeling under the weather and still rocking out your workouts... AMAZING! Isn't it funny how sometimes when we give ourselves permission to half-*** workouts, we go even harder and surprise ourselves? Well done on an excellent workout. I hope you can rest this weekend and take care of yourself though so you can kick this bug.

uber: I think you described our former weight loss selves best as the "zeal of the convert." Thank goodness for reality checks and lessons learned. We're not golden because we're perfect, we're golden because we keep trying. Grrr the evil scale hooker!!! But at least you can be assured, being on plan, a whoosh back down is on the way!

MissLoud: I've heard that changes to diet and exercise can screw up periods, particularly intense exercise. But for me, what really throws my cycle off is travel and strangely enough being around new women. It's weird, but that's my experience.

martini: Crunchy vegetables and salt sound amazing to me too! I love salt and I love crunch- match made in heaven, me thinks. Maybe celery-dipped in salt, or something neutral-tasting like cabbage with salt... I'll give it a go this weekend. Yay on 2 days on plan and on taking active steps to investigate improving the situations you're facing and most of all, on getting yourself more on to solid ground. That's awesome and I imagine, empowering for you, and I feel privileged you're sharing that with us.

Mandy: Yay on the new low!!!! I'm glad you're spending the weekend doing something you enjoy and all the treats you're making sound soooo yummy and I won't lie, probably unwisely, my favourite people in the world are people who like to feed people yummy treats.

Jessica: Congrats on maintaining through all the upheaval going on in your life right now. Good luck with the start of commission sales today- based on 3FC, you seem to have a really honest and open and attractive personality, and I think that bodes well for sales, so fingers super-crossed and prayers said! I am in swimming in the deep, green sea of envy with all the wonderful, eligible options that are coming up for you (I want a man too! :'( lol. Where are the meeeeennnn???? #whine #PiteousSob), but I'm also learning a lot from you about what it means to be open and honest with yourself and a prospective partner and to put yourself out there because knowing what is is better than not knowing what might have been. I think after everything, you deserve to feel attractive and be courted and have options and make a choice. I'm still Team J but I also think it's good to explore other options till the proverbial deal is sealed and not let anyone tie you down or waste your time before any commitments have been overtly made.


Okay so guys, I did work out Thursday evening as I said I would, last time I was here. I was over on Thursday's fast day but under 700 calories so I will take it as a fast still. Yesterday was not the best in terms of eating either. I didn't go over maintenance calories but I was sitting right in that maintenance zone which wasn't ideal. But I did work out last night. I did a 1-hr super high intensity tabata workout DVD that's the first workout DVD that I've ever felt is as intense as going to the gym- and according to my HRM, it was twice the calorie burn I get with my DVDs of similar length. In case any of you are home DVD exercisers and want to check it out, it's Amy Dixon's Breathless Body. I'd never done anything by her before and now I'm hooked. It just about finished me off, but in the best, OMG-I-need-a-lie-down way ever. I'm tempted to do it again today, but I'm sooooo sore, I don't think I can jump that high or push that hard. It's one of those that has modifications for lower and higher impact and I did mostly the higher impact modifications which made me feel better that I'm not as unfit as I thought I was just because I'm no longer running. #glasshalffull Or wait maybe this DVD just felt super hard because I'm less fit. #glasshalfempty Whatever the case, at least I'm back to exercising and worked out everyday this week. Everything good fitness-wise will follow.

Today's weigh in was just okay. I'm another 0.5 lbs down this week so down to 181.5 lbs BUT I am super sore from working out the past two nights (as I've said I would) AND it is TOM so maybe, just maybe, in real life I'm actually lighter than 181.5- maybe. maybe there's even a 180.something in it for me. We'll see.

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Old 11-01-2014, 10:14 AM   #111  
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Toasted, thanks for the well wishes and I'm glad that know that everything I'm learning about myself and this process is able to help other people. I hope if it helps you with anything it helps remind you that this is a long process but it is entirely worth it. You have to know that all of you are inspirations to me, as well!

I wouldn't consider the guy who asked for my number as a prospective partner by any means; I really don't know much about the guy. J, on the other hand, (swoon). Yeah, lol. I think I'm almost a little more nervous about the possibility of going out, or even just getting together, with J right now than I am about work. The last few days of my training have proven to me that I can make and close sales all on my own so I just need to trust that and keep doing what I'm doing the way I'm doing it, I guess.

So J asked me yesterday to make a lemon loaf pound cake. I did. It came out beautifully. My love for lemon could handle even more lemon flavor to the cake itself, but the lemon glaze puts it just about right for most people so we'll see what he thinks. I did post a picture of it on Facebook and he made it clear that he wants a slice. So retort that whether or not he gets any is on him will hopefully seal the deal that we can hang out tonight.
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Old 11-01-2014, 10:24 AM   #112  
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Jessica, hopefully you get to hang out with J over a mutual liking for lemon cake (and each other) and things become even clearer!
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Old 11-01-2014, 02:57 PM   #113  
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Hi everyone!

I'm so sorry I haven't taken time to address you all individually lately, but it's been a little crazy around here!

I just wanted to drop in and say hi!

I'm going out to dinner with the hubby tonight, because in all that meticulous planning for dinner... I forgot to take into account that my fridge is pretty darn cold, and a 2 pound chunk of beef needs more than 48 hours to thaw! So, since it's still a frozen brick in my fridge, it's dinner out using a gift card we got!

This morning's weigh in was 276.4, so still dropping which is good. Tomorrow it will go up, no doubt, because of sodium heavy restaurant food.

No worries though. I'm feeling a LOT more focused than in recent days (weeks?) so this blip will be just that (I REALLY hope!).

Also, talked to the hubby about getting an elliptical, because we discuss all these big ticket items and our budget, and the one we found should fit okay, and we'll just cut back on Christmas spending for each other. We'll be ordering it soon. EXCITED!

With the weather dropping and clocks changing soon... my preferred evening walks will have to be elliptical time.

Hope you all are doing well! I have to go bake a cake.
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Old 11-01-2014, 04:02 PM   #114  
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Posting on my phone, so may miss some things.

Jessica! - It is so very good to hear from you! I worried about you. Great to hear that you are starting to embrace just how far you're come with losing weight and you are getting ever closer to J, and that you are on the verge of making great money on commission. Maintaining through all of this is so incredible! I am a huge believer in maintenance breaks. It's not a race to get to a destination. It's a learning and growing process as we get ourselves into a position where we have good relationships with food and are a reasonable weight.

Toasted - I vote for the glass-half-full interpretation. You rocked a challenging work-out with the more difficult moves. Woot! I am all about functional fitness. I like challenging myself and seeing if I can get just a little bit better or faster or stronger, but at the end of the day, so long as I can climb a reasonable number of stairs or carry a reasonable amount of groceries, I feel like I am fit enough, and the rest is just icing on the cake. And I was all about not caring for the past few days. It's interesting to me, though. Given the right set of circumstances, I would have binged. But I didn't have readily-available options to binge, and I was too lazy to seek them out. I was truly saved by circumstances.

Jenni - I hope you're feeling better! Especially, I hope you get this kicked in time for your interview.

Mandy - I love the new profile pic.

Diane - Glad you're still checking in and working it!
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Old 11-01-2014, 04:36 PM   #115  
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I posted because I was afraid I would lose it. I slept for 12 hours last night. Feeling much better, but still sick. The scale was suspiciously kind today. 193.2. We'll see if it lasts. I hope it does. If I get down to 185, I am going to try to do some maintaining there, I think. Maybe. Really want to kick this nasty cough.
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Old 11-01-2014, 04:41 PM   #116  
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Toasted - that Tabata sounds awsome! I've done a couple of tabata workouts on youtube - darn near killed me.

Mandy - I did the same thing with a chicken, I hate it when you have something planned and a spanner gets thrown in the works. I really need to be more organised with food.

Jessica - how totally amazing you are! Being able to maintain when your life is so busy is just amazing.

Laurie - I really like your idea of maintenance breaks, i just wish Christmas wasn't looming.

Still in a bit of a funk, disappointed I let myself fall off the wagon. I have a real problem with putting deadlines onto my weight loss, ie. Christmas, then I've got a wedding in February. Its making me panic a bit. I managed to get 2.5 pounds back off but its not looking good for tomorrow s weigh in. That coupled with TOM still not showing up, my face has broken out aaaaannnnd our hot dry norwesters have arrived which make me a total grump! So I'm barely holding on. My youngest sons birthday is this coming Saturday too so another off plan day. Its getting so hard moan moan I know. I just need to kuckle down and actually realise I'm still ontrack to get to my mini goal by Christmas. Off to have a cry lol
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Old 11-02-2014, 01:12 AM   #117  
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Laurie, I'm sorry you're not feeling well! I hope you feel better soon and I can't wait to catch up on those few pounds between the two of us.

MissLoud, don't cry! We all have tough times but you'll pull through it. We'll help you, I promise!


So. *gulp* GUYS!

There's something I said early on to my brother and his fiance about J. He's got a 14-year-old daughter who is the center of his world. She is incredibly important to him and what I said was that if he ever decides he wants me to meet his daughter than, on some level, it is an acknowledgement that he is considering the possibility of me being more than just a chick he gets coffee and nerds out with (and apparently lusts for and gets a little jealous over :P). Well, we weren't able to get together tonight. He sent a message about half way through his shift, mentioning something about getting really busy and then, a little while ago, he sent another one saying that it wasn't looking good for tonight.

Also, that his daughter is wanting to meet me.

... I had a friend say she feels like it's too fast, but I have to take that with a grain of salt in that she dated her husband for almost eight years, even after they'd had their daughter. That and the age difference; J is 40 and his daughter is 14 vs my friend who is in her mid-late twenties with a 5-year-old. It's a lot harder to hide things from an observant teenager. But, I understand where she's coming from.

So I asked my brother, who has two daughters, what his opinion was. To him, if J decides he does want me to meet Helen - because I told him I'm not opposed to it but that the real question is how HE feels about the idea - than it is a good sign. Meeting her doesn't mean that we're suddenly going to be in some sort of serious relationship but it does mean that he is open to the possibility of one at some point in the future. Because, bottom line, if he was just in it for the physical, than he'd make every effort to keep that separate from something he holds as close to him as his daughter.... Right?
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Old 11-02-2014, 09:30 AM   #118  
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Hello everyone! I hope you're all having a great weekend!

Laurie - I'm so sorry if my comments to your boss and trainer boy were out of line or inappropriate. Sometimes my mental filter isn't as effective as it should be and what I'm thinking pops out without me asking myself if my opinion is wanted or needed. I hope I didn't make you feel worse by chiming in with my (very paltry) two cents.

I hope your cold clears up and that you're feeling better soon.

Diane - hibye!

Jessica - I completely agree that maintaining alone is a huge, wonderful achievement. You really have come a long way in the past few months and it sounds like there's a lot going on now.

Good luck with NANOWRIMO and starting to work for commission!

Toasted - Are you a pisces? Pisces are supposed to be super in tune with the energy of those around them and that's the first thing that popped into my mind when you said your TOM changes when you're around new women.

Apart from the astrology... amazing job working out daily this week. I'll keep my fingers crossed for some scale love for you in the very near future.

Mandy - It sounds like you're really getting settled in your new home and enjoying all the benefits that come with that sort of stability. That's really good to see. Big ticket items aren't something you can usually plan for when you don't know where you'll be living in six months or a year and, for me at least, geographic and financial stability are huge when it comes to weight loss. I'm glad you seem to be benefitting from that solidity after all those changes you've had in the last few years.

Uber - You're here in spirit even when you're not posting. Hello!! I hope you found some awesome scale love this weekend!!

MissLoud - I also have a problem with deadlines for weight loss. Any downward movement is a good thing and congratulations on the 2.5lb!

I have had two full days doing nothing but puttering around my apartment and figuring out what makeup I want to order online. My apartment is clean, I've worked through my eyeshadow color issues (more taupe!!), and my head is in a pretty good place.

I've been on plan all weekend and am feeling happy about that. I had some weird sugar cravings that I could fit into my plan yesterday. I'm also feeling a bit munchy and I think that's anxiety. I'm following my own advice and sitting with those feelings, but I think distraction is called for at the moment. I've had this ball of yarn sitting next to my bed for 11 months and I think tonight is the night that Martini learns to crochet.
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Old 11-02-2014, 11:31 AM   #119  
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Martini - I am so sorry I gave you the impression I thought anything you said was out of line. I threw it out there because I wanted opinions. And you, in particular, have such an insightful perspective on things. Yay for being on plan! Yay for new eyeshadow! And yay for learning to crochet. You are going through so much right now, both with work and family. You are truly an inspiration.

Jessica - I am in the "meet the kid" camp! I agree that the age of the child is important here. When my husband and I had been dating for about six weeks, he invited me to meet his kids (then 6 and 8), and I balked because I wasn't yet sure how I felt about him. After that, it took another six months before he was brave enough to invite me to meet them again, and it got really awkward trying to avoid them. He is looking at you as more than just a fling -- that much is for sure. Still #TeamJ!

197.0. Up 3.8 from yesterday. Oh my. Could have something to do with mashed potatoes and waffles and candy corn and cinnamon rolls and cookies. Interestingly enough, I wouldn't even label yesterday as a binge. I just ate what I wanted when I wanted it. I'm hoping that at least part of it drops off easily. We'll see, though. I started this morning with a chunk of a cookie, then decided it was time to reel it in. So, today will be back on plan. Hopefully fairly effortlessly, but I might have to be willing to pull out the white knuckles. Cold still lingering, but it's much improved.

Hope everyone is doing well this weekend!
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Old 11-02-2014, 12:16 PM   #120  
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Laurie Laurie-- 193 That is fantastic and you are moving along through the 190s at an excellent clip. Hope you feel better soon. Handy to have a cold on Halloween, though, if you want to look on the bright side.

Diane Hope your weekend is going well.

Jessica Glad to have you back with such a long post. I definitely think J wanting you to meet his daughter is a good sign. And as for your friend... these things work on their own timetable and it's different for every couple. If it works, it works!

Toasted I love that you are able to refer to Halloween's "wonderful themed candy..." I tend to think of candy as the devil! With soreness and TOM you are certainly prepping for a WHOOSH!

Mandy Mandy, I love reading your posts. You sound so happy and settled and instead of this move throwing things off and making it hard for you (which is what happened to me back in 2010) you are cruising right along! Boo on the non-thawed meat, but I'm so happy you and hubby got to go out to dinner. And your new avatar is gorgeous!

MissLoud I do not do well with deadlines either! But you are down 2.5! So that is excellent.


Martini I don't want to speak for Laurie, but I NEVER find your opinions to be unwanted or awkward. You always have the most reflective things to say! I was a little embarrassed at myself for thinking that trainer boy's comment was complimentary.... it's so complicated to know how to process the increased attention that comes with weight loss. Regarding sitting with the feeling, can I ask you a question? Do you ever get to the point that the extra eating gets going without your brain even kicking in to suggest that it might be a bad idea? It seems like I have 3 modes. One= I'm in control. Two=I'm struggling and using techniques to try to manage Three=I'm careening down a steep in hill in an out-of-control car and not only do I not find the brake pedal, I forget I'm even supposed to look for it! Ugh.

So, for me.

So, here is how things are going for Uber. Friday morning, I stepped on the scale and saw 249, a scale bounce of 3 lbs, probably salt-related or just plain random. I realized that it was the last day of October. Since my TOTAL loss for October was only 3 lbs, the scale bounce ERASED my loss and left me back at my Sept. 30th weight. So, I was bummed, but philosophical. I had a really busy day with Halloween activities at my kid's school, so I planned to eat lunch early before i left, but I ran out of time, and so I ended up grabbing a baggie full of this chip and nut mix that my oldest bought at Costco. Now, that was a SUPER STUPID idea because I had already had several binging episodes with those same stupid crackers. So why I didn't throw the hooker away instead of leaving it in the cupboard I'll never know. So, now, I decide it's a good idea to eat a baggie of the snack in the car instead of lunch. UBER??? Are you kidding???? 1. I had already binged on this stuff-- trigger. 2. eating in the car-- trigger. 3. Eating snack junk food in the car that I've already binged on =UBER TRIGGER. I justify this to myself by saying that the not-very-satisfying snack will serve as lunch. I run the Halloween party, which involves candy, but nothing sitting out to eat. I leave school at 3 pm and eat the ENTIRE leftover bag of craft popcorn on the way home and then dig into the rest of the craft candy corn. I would like to say it's because I'm starving, but honestly, I'm not actually very hungry when I get started. This combo makes me feel totally sick! I tell myself that I'm done for the day, but then I end up eating 3 pieces of pizza for dinner. Now, even so, I would have probably been sort of weirdly okay as baggie snack, plus low-cal popcorn in vast quantities, plus a little bit of candy corn plus 3 pieces of pizza was still not crazily high in calories, even if not very satisfying and gross, but because it was such an off, weird, out-of-control bunch of food choices, I decided to do a late night post dinner binge-- ate MORE of the snack junk of the baggie incident, and then topped it off with vanilla ice cream. Went to bed with a horrible stomach ache. Yesterday, started out the day with a normal on plan breakfast, by mid-afternoon, I've ripped open the last bag of craft popcorn (I hadn't realized there was one left) and eaten the whole thing... during the entire time I give only the idlest contemplation to the idea that maybe this is all not a good idea.

So, for this week, I'm really going to work on doing the things I know actually help me lose weight faster.

1. Stick with protein and veggies for one week.
2. Do two 800 calorie fast days.
3. Make a meal plan for the whole week. (I usually plan a bit on the fly)

This morning, after my two-day off-plan extravaganza scale is still showing 249. I want to shed the popcorn and salt bloat, and see if I can drop below 246. I know with Thanksgiving coming up it will be harder to really buckle down, so I'm going to commit to working it to the best of my ability for the next 3 weeks and see if I can FINALLY make that hooker of a scale move for good.

Last edited by ubergirl; 11-02-2014 at 12:19 PM.
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