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FeraFilia 10-08-2014 11:57 AM



It moved.


Like more than 2 pounds a lot.

280.2 this morning.

That means I did it. I made my birthday goal. :D

Thank you all for being so understanding during my whining and frustration. :)

LaurieDawn 10-08-2014 12:24 PM

Oh, Diane - A lot of angst is the perfect description. Glad to hear from you! Hope all is well.

Toasted - You have all the admiration from me. It's so easy to stick with it when it's working or when we're in the zone. You don't seem to have hit your stride yet since you've been posting on this thread, but you don't give up! Yet, you've maintained a HUGE loss for years, and are determined to continue to maintain that loss and try to get back down to what you want to be. You're my hero.

Mandy - I started this post early this morning, and had this whole list of things I wanted to say to you. But instead, I will just congratulate and celebrate with you! I know the goal was Thursday, so you beat the goal. Stick with us, baby, and you will obliterate the ugly 50-pounds-lost toxic miasma. (Uber - Are you proud of me for picking this up or saying, "Ugh. Doesn't that girl have an original thought?")

Jenni - Even though the "Yep, you've got it" was not helpful in itself, it did check the box that will lead you to, hopefully, much more helpful steps. And your persistence is paying off slowly, but it is paying off.

Uber - I am SO glad that you've pulled yourself out of the funk. Good on you for tracking even when you're off plan (I can't bring myself to do that), and for recognizing that the degree you went off plan was fairly minimal. I'm so excited to see you continue to succeed. And thank you for sharing your struggles with us. It makes me feel less crazy to know that these things (someone "taking" my food) are triggers for other people too.

MissLoud - Sorry about you feeling poorly. Hopefully, the chills have stoped multiplyin', and you're feeling better.

Jessica - I hear you! I am so tired of people making generalizations that just aren't true. Each succeeding generation isn't "lazier." They just have different circumstances. And, as you say, even if it was true about a group of people you happen to be a member of, it's certainly not true about you. Can't wait until your life slows down and you have more opportunity to enjoy it.

Martini - I can't tell you how much I think about the things that you post here. You have such wisdom and compassion. Still sending positive thoughts about your work bullying situation.

202.0 today. Same place I was 9/30. (Mandy - that fact was going to be part of my now-unneeded pep talk.) But rather than feel like I am reaching to be that low (last time was after an overnight 3.2-pound loss), I feel like I am on the cusp of breaking through. Dangerous to think that, because it sets me up for disappointment and the resultant angst that challenges my ability to keep going, but I still feel like I am going to FINALLY get below that 200-pound precipice. I am planning to run 3.35 miles today (beating my previous "this time" distance record of 3.25 miles), and the runs really seem to aid in the weight loss, so we'll see what happens.

My job interview yesterday went very, very well. The guy kept going on about how I was "absolutely the front runner" and that I "ticked off all his boxes." I need to do some closer examination, but assuming that this actually means more money, this may be a move I want to make. Thanks, everyone, for the cheering.

FeraFilia 10-08-2014 12:35 PM

I think I figured out the issue... And it wasn't with me, or the scale. It was actually my bathroom floor. I noticed the tiles are not completely level with one another, and if the scale is sitting with the foot pads across the grout line, I get something different every time I step on. I realized that this morning when it was giving me everything between 278 and 284 (the 284 was first... I nearly cried). Once I moved it so all 4 pads were on one tile, it was consistent again.... at 280.2.

Problem solved, and I don't know why I didn't think of it before. I kinda feel like a dummy.

Also, I think my frustration was more based on the fact that I really don't like setting weight goal dead lines. I know that anything is a success, and just because I wanted to lose 10 pounds by X date, and only lost 7 doesn't make me a failure. I know my personality so I try to avoid it, but I got caught up in the "50 pounds by my birthday would be awesome!" thought, and it was more the "not meeting my deadline" that had me feeling like a failure and wanting to give up... not so much THAT the scale was not moving, but WHEN the scale decided to stop moving for a little while.

Did that make any sense?

jenjenangel027 10-08-2014 02:02 PM

Uber ....hope you had an on plan day!

Laurie...congrats on the interview and I hope it turns out where it is more income for you!

Toasted...glad to hear from you. I have never heard of bitters! I may start experimenting with the fish oil capsules I have heard they help.

Diane...glad to hear from you too!

MissLoud...hope you are feeling better.

Mandy ...congrats on the loss!

Jessica...sounds like someone was giving you a hard time...I hope that gets better!

I told you guys I was not gonna let this get me...still sticking to that. I may vent from being discouraged but I really think that is healthy to do. I walked Monday and today I did a 30 min circuit...poured sweat...I did my lower half because I am still in pain in fingers wrists elbows....I have felt the best I have felt in days right after the workout those edorphines were really nice to feel. I really think this flare has been brought on by stress I worry to much and there was another incident of step daughter hurting my 5 year old. She is not even suppose to be touching her or stepping in when step son is babysitting. I just need to let this all go. I cannot change her, I cannot fix her when she does not want help, and I cannot change the situation. I wanted so much more for this girl but I just have to give it to God and not let it affect my body they way it is!

MissLoud 10-08-2014 03:44 PM

Stil feeling grotty here, I haven't geen this crook in so long. Didn't help that my husband was home yesterday with it as well, why is it that they think they feel worse! I did have a little hissy about no one every looking after me - fell on deaf ears (he wouldn't even make me a cup of tea) so feeling sorry for myself. The kids have been great though, helped along with lots of new lego my 4 year old got for his birthday :) bonus is the scales are looking hopeful for monday weigh in

Mandy!!! Congrats on smashing your goal!!!! I know I'm not a fan of date oriented goals either, but there is something satisfying about a round number. My mum has that problem with the scales so dad made a board for them to sit on.

Laurie ~ awsome work on the job interview! Always nice to have another option to look at when you already have a job.

Jenni ~ Have you tried Magnesium and zinc for RA my aunt swears by it

Toasted ~ I'm the sort of person who will go into the full Grease medley complete with dance moves, I have no shame!

Lulu78 ~ I do a cheat day on a Tuesday if I'm going to, it saves my ahhhh its the weekend treat yourself mentality.

:wave: to everyone else.

Off to the supermarket for me, I have a craving for asparagus! !

LaurieDawn 10-08-2014 10:29 PM

Just posting to say that I have a lot of expectations on my weigh-in tomorrow. I have hovered around this weight for 8 days now, and that's usually sufficient time to get a whoosh. I also ran 3.25 miles today, and that's usually a pretty decent predictor of a drop. And I have not done anything foodwise (like high sodium or general high calories) that would preclude a drop. And, of course, I disposed of some solid waste today. All of these factors generally lead to a drop.

But high expectations terrify me because this is all so mental. So, I am going to vow that I will stay focused and stick with the plan tomorrow (reasonable calories, weight lifting) regardless of the scale.

Good luck to the players!

garnetrising 10-08-2014 11:23 PM

So I was nervous about weighing in today. As expected, it was the first week without a loss. I had been braced for it and told myself that as long as my inches didn't go up, I would be happy with it. Well, turns out my inch's went down. So even though I had no actual loss, I am still slimmer than I was last week. Needless to say it was an awesome way to start the day. Then, not only did first job go well, but I get an message that J is going to be working 9-1 in addition to his scheduled shift this morning so, unless that changed between 9am and now, tonight is go to be equally awesome for the sole fact that I get to see him. And I only work the night job tomorrow, so I'll get to get some sleep, too.

ubergirl 10-09-2014 01:52 AM

Hi guys,

On a one day overnight away from home today. Sorry to say that food wise I'm still totally off. Last night I POSTED about my good day and then went and ate a granola bar and a bowl of ice cream. Today was an unmitigated disaster.

I'm NOT giving up. Gonna wrangle this HOOKER to the ground for sure!

martini 10-09-2014 03:57 AM

The situation at work is indeed getting worse before it gets better and my attention is going to be pulled in that direction for the next few days. A week of lunches and dinners out also means that I'm absolutely not on plan, but fine.

There's a bit of compulsive eating going on - chewing for comfort, carbs in response to anxiety - and it's translating into larger portion sizes and lots of carbs (instead of plain vegetables and a protein) for meals. It's not great, but given that I've got other things to think about it's something I can live with for another day or two. I'll ride out the rest of the week, regroup on the weekend, and then weigh myself on Monday to see the damage done.

jenjenangel027 10-09-2014 11:17 AM

Yesterday I did a leg circuit...I am so SORE today! Lunges, squats, calf lifts, dead lifts, and shoulder press.

I am going to try and commit to a 3 day a week circuit see if that doesn't jump start things.

LaurieDawn 10-09-2014 12:39 PM

Uber - Oof. I so feel you! Your current struggles absolutely feel like my great August "kids are here" 13-pound regain. And you know how many strategies I employed and how many vows I made before I finally got it together again. So, you know that my suggestions don't come from a place of, "Ugh. Why can't she just get it together?", but rather, "This is something that helped me once and might be the solution you need right now, but also may not be."

Maybe it's time for a good ol' Day 1 old-fashioned white-knuckle day. Clear your environment of all temptation. I doubt you would have snacked on the granola bar or the ice cream if it wasn't already in your house. Write down everything you intend to eat, and don't allow yourself any variance. And plan the ultimate in deliciousness. Maybe even plan for your mother, not because it's your responsibility, but because it will make your life better and easier. And commit to going for a walk, or journaling, or calling a friend to vent, or posting on here. And here's one thing that helps me, even though it seems stupid. I tell myself, "This is hard. So many people have not been able to do it. It's powering through these days that make me successful ultimately. I can have bad days, but I also have to have a lot of good days to make this work. Today will be a good day."

All of the soul-searching that we do is important, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate hearing your perspectives. But sometimes, it's not about why we do, but what we do. Maybe if you white-knuckled a few days on plan, you'll get back in the groove and can explore the "why" from a safer distance.

Jenni You, my friend, are the little engine that could. RA flare-ups, serious issues with a stepdaughter and the accompanying worries about keeping your kids safe, and you're pumping out the leg circuit. Look at you go!

Martini - So sorry about the work situation. Hopefully, it's a case of having to go through the muck and mire at the end of the tunnel to finally get to the light. The muck and mire are horrible, but knowing that the end is coming makes it easier to cope with those things. I love how you're able to acknowledge that things are tough right now, and that as a result, you aren't 100% on plan, but you're still focused and moving forward. You are fantastic.

Jessica - Woo hoo on the inches! Ironically, I have a tape measure on my desk that I bought at your urging, and have yet to measure myself a single time. ;-) You're proving why it was such a great suggestion. And yay for hanging out with J! #TeamJ.

MissLoud - Hope the illness is finally coming to a halt. And slap your hubby upside the head for me, if you don't mind. He should be willing to make you a cup of tea! =) Hope the asparagus was all you hoped it would be.

Mandy - Happy birthday, Ms. "I weight 50 pounds less than I did 5 months ago!" What a tremendous accomplishment! Glad you got the scale figured out.

201.4 this morning. A new "this time" low, and maybe -- just maybe -- I have left my trampoline weight behind. Onederland, I'm coming for you!

I also worked until 9 last night. Between last time and this time, I had prudently stocked my office with an on-plan protein option. See? I learn from my mistakes. Then, I find new mistakes to make.

FeraFilia 10-09-2014 04:26 PM

Hey everyone!

Forgot to mention here when I breezed through earlier that I hit the 270s this morning! :D 279.8, but still 270s. :D

Off to go shopping with my birthday money from the parents (I'm getting a couple sweaters) and then off to dinner. Local funky little pizza place with a couple new friends.

And fried cheesecake for dessert. That's right. Yum. :D

MissLoud 10-10-2014 02:10 AM

:bday2: Happy Birthday Mandy!!

Starting to get back to normal, managed a good walk today without coughing up a lung so going to try rowing tomorrow. I've been on plan as far as eating goes, but the scales are being a bit mean on it. Not looking forward to next week, my husband is away and TOM is lurking - little worried to be left to my devises!!! :devil:

toastedsmoke 10-10-2014 09:00 AM

Ferafilia: Happy Birthday!!!!! I hope you had an amazing day and here's wishing you an awesome year ahead filled with joy, health, peace and blessings! As locals say here on birthdays "many happy returns of the day, long life and prosperity. Hip Hip Hip Hooray!!!" Anyho, yay yay yay on beyond 50 lbs lost and meeting the target, that is awesome and amazing in every way and I'm so so very chuffed for you!

LaurieDawn: Thanks for your kind words. I haven't hit my stride yet, you're right and many days it feels like I'm failing especially when that mythical group called "everyone" seems to be doing so well BUT then I try to look at the bright side and find small victories. If I had continued as before, by now I would be nearly back where I started, so even if I'm not progressing, there is victory in that I've at least plateaued my gain trend line. I know if it wasn't for you guys I would be on the other side of 200 by now and probably close to right where I started. I'm crossing my fingers for your weigh in today and hoping it's the stuff that Onederland is made of. But whether it is or it isn't, you're still awesome and you'll still keep plugging away, I know.

garnetrising: Yay on being tinier! For better or worse, I put stock in the scale numbers but those numbers are just for me... and you guys on 3FC I suppose, but mostly for me because no one would care if I was 500 lbs but miraculously had a waspish waist of supermodel proportions... Dem inches don't lie and that's what people see in the end. So yay on the inch loss!

jenjenangel007: I'm so glad you're feeling better. Exercise endorphins are great! And if they're helping your RA and getting you healthy at the same time then double score!!!!! I'm a big believer in vitamins and supplements. I take fish oil (cod liver oil) too and I think it helps with a lot of things, plus it's good for you anyway. Definitely do your research and check out what supplements could help, I mean it can't hurt.

MissLoud: Yay on feeling better and getting back your workout mojo. Being alone as munchy TOM approaches is nightmarish but I have total faith you will rock it and be victorious in the end. You're doing awesome!

martini: I'm sorry about the work situation. I think it's probably not a terrible idea to unrestrict the eating for a few days but maybe keep in mind maintenance level calories and still be mindful. There's nothing worse than stressing how you're going to contain meals out and social obligations within a 1300-calorie limit whilst going through the wringer as well.

I'm doing alright, myself. Yesterday was a successful fast day. I'm doing alright so far today although it's been the oddest morning with 3 plain crackers and a boiled egg for breakfast even though I have steel cut oats in my lunch bag as well, no I hit the emergency desk stash. Thankfully, it was just 3 crackers. Now I don't feel like oatmeal. I want I dunno... something hot and spicy?? Sigh... The office runner already came round to take lunch orders and in a fright over not ordering the fastest of fast food, I told her not to worry and so now it's lunchtime and I'm frowning at my oatmeal like it's its fault that I brought it in. :( I haven't yet done a weigh in this week because I've been in a rush every single morning. I will try to make it happen tomorrow though because I have a later start than normal office hours. I lost weight last week and it's been a while since I've had a losing trend so it would be nice to have that and as such I'm trying to stay on track. Oatmeal for lunch is soooooooo uninspiring though. And blah. And proteinless. I'll think of something. What do you guys have for lunch at home or work day-to-day. I could use the ideas.

I'm amazed I'm doing as meh as I am with my re-loss journey and I'm not freaking out. I think the 180s are a comfortable weight for me. In 2011 when I was in them, I stayed for 8 months, maybe I'm more complacent at this weight or maybe my body just likes this as a resting weight like it did the 230s and even the 150s (which I also tried to leave for nearly a year) or maybe it's a combination of both my psychology and physiology but I'm kind of over them and I don't really want to be here in this weight anymore. It's not super urgent, but I would like to make some progress. Sigh. Like even to get out of the mid 180s and to move more solidly into the late 170s/early 180s would be encouraging. Anyway, I still plug away. I see growth though, last time when I plateaued I was in the depths of despair (I mean not actually, just in the melodramatic Anne of Green Gables way) but now I'm just a little disappointed and yet pragmatic about the whole thing. I think part of it is that I know that other than physical fitness, my life didn't dramatically improve socially or emotionally by being at a lower weight as I though it would. I had a lifelong chubby girl's view of what being considered slim by society would mean for me and I got there and was there 10 months and it wasn't like I imagined. So maybe that's released some of the emotional urgency for me. I don't know. So now I know that, it's like weight is now just weight but it isn't going to fix me or the things I want to be different about myself which is good because I am no longer wrecked by the scale but not good because it's harder to build the urgency I used to have. I DO definitely want to go back to my low weight because I liked the way I looked in clothes better and could run faster and do things easier when I was there, but I guess my emotional expectations of that weight have changed and so now I'm relying of the lure of fitness and vanity to make me do what I need to do to progress and it's harder than it was before. I don't know if any of that makes sense. Or if anyone knows what I mean... I'm just typing away... partly because it saves me from myself ordering something not on plan. I'll go warm up my oatmeal... Maybe if I'm not hungry, I won't want to make unhealthy decisions at work. Especially if everyone sees me warming up food... I'll be more circumspect about what else I eat during the day #SecretEatersAnonymous

Anyway enough of what's inside my head. Have an awesome day people.

LaurieDawn 10-10-2014 09:26 AM

Toasted - It's so interesting that you are making these observations. There's still a part of me that irrationally believes weight loss automatically equals a better life. Like I neglected to pay some parking tickets, and my husband paid them for me, and I thanked him and reimbursed him. Which was all well and good, except a part of me was thinking, "I'm almost down to 200 pounds. Why should I have to pay parking tickets?" I don't know where that thought originated, but it really caused me to reexamine some things. I worry that I might be becoming unintentionally holier-than-thou because I'm having some weight loss success. I am so glad you're here. So glad you're figuring it out day to day. So glad you're having the success that you're having. You're proving that it doesn't take Kryptonite mode to avoid the uncontrolled regains. Thank you.

MissLoud - That's funny that you do better with your husband there. I find it's easier with mine gone. I am not tempted by his ever-present junk, and he doesn't pressure me to eat things that I might not want.

Mandy - YAY on 270s! So happy for you! And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that you can have fried cheesecake one night and either incorporate it into your plan or jump right back on plan tomorrow. This is the stuff that makes a lifetime commitment a little less daunting.

Uber - I have been thinking a lot about you. Hope you're figuring your way out of your struggles.

202.4 this morning. Because I overate yesterday. Might go up tomorrow again, because of yesterday. I was ready to leave for the gym, and got caught up at work, and ran out of time before I had my first after-work commitment. Then, I didn't get to eat at the time I had planned. I am the worst at dealing with that, for whatever reason. Maybe I'm terrified of Onederland and I'm sabotaging myself? I don't know, but I feel awful this morning. And I felt worse last night. With apologies for TMI - sex seems to be always worse when I have too much food in my stomach. I have been feeling so good physically. Even if it's not for the weight loss, I need to be on plan just to feel good. Today is the second anniversary of my first date with my husband, and we're having lunch at the same place we did then - a pasta place. The first time, I was losing weight too, and nervous, and I ate only a few bites. Maybe I'll let history recreate itself. ;-)

Have a fantastic day, everyone!

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