[LaurieDawn]

Jenni - You are dealing with so much right now anyway. I am sorry that a flare-up is aggravating it even more. You will get through this, but I hope that you do so quickly and with as little pain as possible.

MissLoud - I totally love Grease! Way to approach the illness with a bit of humor. Hope you feel better quickly. And woot on shoulders!

Martini - You have made my week. The adjectives you used to describe me are generous, but I'm willing to trust you on their accuracy. ;-) But the imagery is phenomenal. Yay for a huge middle finger to the haters! Been thinking about you and your "probably going to get worse before it gets better" work problem and your "hopefully soon to be resolved" family issue. The middle finger definitely goes to the haters, but I hope you feel the positive energy coming your way from someone who has benefited enormously from your kindness and support.

Mandy - Those days are always part of this thing. I'm sorry you're having one of them. But you're still committed to your plan, even though you don't sound thrilled about it, and those are the days that really tend to make the difference, at least in my experience.

Uber - Hope your toxic miasma of negative factors has (or is) dissipated. (Yes, I admit. Typing that sentence made me feel smart, even if I was only referencing your "toxic miasma" phrase.) I have a love/hate relationship with the fact that this journey forces me to think about things in my life that may need improvement. It sounds like you are going through that right now. I wish you kindness, self-love, some determination, and whatever else you need to make it through this place.

Jessica - Kudos on making time to date in the midst of your double-job chaos. Making time for the important things in life is something I struggle with on a consistent basis. And spending your days in Onederland. You're an inspiration, as always.

Lulu - I intended to greet you earlier, but somehow didn't. Welcome! Glad to have you here.

Toasted and Diane - Thinking about both of you as well! Hope the hunting is going well for you, Diane, and that you are figuring out the best way to manage your overloaded schedule, Toasted.

202.8. Almost back down to my weight from last Wednesday. The craziness of the scale is part of my life now. My job interview is in a few hours, and I feel insanely sane about it. I don't need the other job, but it might vastly improve my life. It's really refreshing to go into an interview where I really have nothing to lose.

I also, interestingly enough, feel like I am just me. Not "skinny me." Not "fat me." I so often feel like I go into situations with an inherent disadvantage. I can overcome the negative connotations that a lot of people associate with overweight, but I resent the fact that I have to. Today, I don't feel like it's so much an issue. I am still fat, of course, but I feel more "normal fat." I think that's a good thing.

[jenjenangel027]

Thank you Laurie....I am coming to realize I cannot change what my body holds onto...there is no rhyme or reason for not loosing. I had a bad weekend but did not go insane with calories maybe one day was 1800 and another was 1400 and now I am back down to the 1200 or 1300 so hopefully I will see some sort of loss soon...but I cannot focus on it or I will go crazy!

[FeraFilia]

Still stuck.

Feeling defeated and ready to give up. I want to change out my jug of ice water for a milk shake.

Logically, I know I'm doing what's right for me to lose weight and the laws of physics still apply. There is a zero chance that suddenly my body has decided 1500 calories is maintenance calories, when 2 months ago I was eating more than that and losing 2lbs per week.

I also know that in the grand scheme of weight loss, being stuck for 10 days is a common thing, and really not a huge deal. It will drop when it drops, and it's not always linear. It's REALLY getting to me though, because the ONE time I set a weight goal deadline for myself is when it decides to stick for the first time.

I also realize I'm hovering at the 5 month/50 pound mile marker in this, and that is about when I gave up the first time I lost the weight (in my early 20s), and the 2nd time (the first time I was on here)... well, it lasted a couple months longer, but 50 pounds is when I stopped caring. I know there were different circumstances around both events, but I can't help but see the parallel.

I wish I could shut up the part of my brain that is taking such an emotional hit from this and listen to my logical voice... but right now my inner 3 year old is throwing one helluva temper tantrum and I don't blame her one bit.

And I'm very tempted to give her a cookie. :-|

[jenjenangel027]

Mandy.....I feel you....I have been stuck too for over 10 days And it took all I had to stay on plan yesterday and today the same thing! Stay with it...

I keep thinking to myself I would rather be stuck then going up!!!!

[ubergirl]

Jenni I'm hoping that you will hear something from your doctor soon and I hope that you will feel better soon. Whatever you do, just stick with us, and soon you will wake up one day I realize that your difficult moment has passed. I promise.

MissLoud Sorry you're getting sick! Hope you feel better soon.

Martini Boy are you spot on with your commentary. Do you have a bird's eye view of the inside of my head? Yes, eating a lot and "feeling like a bottomless pit" are not the same thing. Obviously, I have the weird anxiety-- I'm afraid that I will want to start eating and not stop until I've consumed every comestible on the planet. Your advice to sit with the feeling-- I KNOW it's true, and I have tried to do it... I LOVE your image that the feeling gets smaller and can fit inside a box. I'm going to remember that and try to use it. The problem I seem to run into is that in the moment I just can't seem to see what on earth is going on... I'm working really hard to learn how not to do that anymore.

Mandy I'm so sorry you are having that kind of day!!! I know that voice well... the one that says, "it's okay, you don't have to put yourself through this, who cares if you're fat, this will never work... etc." I try to remind myself that the only appropriate response to this problem is to yell "SHUT UP HOOKER!" I find that when I'm having hard days, I feel like it will never get any better, but if I'm patient, eventually it does. You are due for a whoosh and you WILL hit that 50 lb mark.

Laurie - Toxic miasma. LOL. I used to use that phrase when everyone in the house was fighting. My littlest daughter didn't hear it quite right and she started to say "toxic NEE-asma." Too cute. I really relate to what you are saying about feeling normal-fat going into the interview. Sad, but sadly too true. As long as I keep my weight below 220, I feel pretty normal. I mean, not thin, not svelte, not TINY, but at least not morbidly obese. But when I'm up in the 270s and 280s, I feel like I have a scarlet letter O on my forehead. I KNOW that the very first thing people will notice about me is that I'm morbidly obese. I spend a lot of time worrying about how I'm going to compensate for that... and it's very stressful. It's so much easier to know that when I show up for an appearance or a job interview, or whatever, that people will just see me as a person first... at my age, nobody expects you to be super thin-- and it's such a relief just to be average. Actually, I must say that 202 is not just average. It actually qualifies you as TINY !!! Good Luck on the interview! I'm sure you'll nail it!

Jessica -Hanging out in onederland!! You are getting to be absolutely TINY!



Toasted and Diane Hope you guys are doing great!

As for me: Here's the rundown: Friday in-range. Saturday: 1600 calories. Sunday: 2300 calories Monday: 1587 So, as much as I felt horrible, stressed, and totally out of control, in reality, it was just one higher cal day and two where I didn't hit my range.

I woke up this morning feeling much more like myself. The pattern I fell into the last few days was that my eating worsened throughout the day, so today, I'm not going to do that. I now realize that there was a very specific thing that was stressing me out and that once I resolved it, I felt a lot better. But at the time, I felt like I was perfectly calm, but that my food issues were spiraling out of control. This must be the key to unlock my UBER problem, which is that all of my stresses seem to get expressed as "food stresses." Anyway, I "think" I've survived the problem. I feel like today, I will be able to have a good day.

Thanks so much to all of you for being here!!! (((group hug))))

[lulu78]

Hello, so I gave in and stopped on the scale, happy to report that after my food obsessed saturday I did not gain any weight. I have 11 days left of my 24 day challenge, hopefully no more hiccups like that Wishing everyone great day! Forgot to ask, does anyone else have a problem with cheat days? It seems like if I do it once, I simply can't stop.

[FeraFilia]

Bear with me folks, I'm trying to make sense of my stall. Presenting some data for analysis.

My logged calories over the last week or so:

Sept 28 - 1374*
Sept 29 - Didn't log, was out of town for the day
Sept 30 - 1366
Oct. 1 - 1335
Oct. 2 - 1301
Oct. 3 - 1259
Oct. 4 - 1200
Oct. 5 - Didn't log, was out of the house most of the day for a charity event.
Oct. 6 - 1476

So, over the last 9 days, I didn't go over 1500, and mostly stayed between 1200 and 1400, intentionally, because of those two "didn't log" days that involved home baked goodies and catered fried chicken. My sodium, with the exception of those two days of "not logging" has been below 2000mg/day (even with the corn dog day!)... I never add salt to my food when I cook. I use mostly garlic powder, onion powder, ground red pepper, cumin, oregano, basil, dill, and occasionally chili powder (which has a little salt, but I don't use it often). Some of these add a few calories, or maybe a little sodium, but nothing crazy. I usually cook with an olive oil spray to avoid a ton of extra calories there. If I cook with actual oil, I measure out a tablespoon into the skillet and log 1/2 (since hubby eats the other half).

Only one of those days included me feeling a little snacky because hubby wasn't home and it didn't get logged, but I noted it in my food diary. (the one with the *)

My fiber has been between 17g and 25g every day that I logged. I make it a point to drink at least 3L of water every day. I get plenty of fats, because I almost always include nuts in my day somewhere and use full fat dairy products most of the time (yogurt, sour cream, etc) because I find them more flavorful and more filling.

I've noticed, however, that my fingers have been swollen up on waking every day the past week... and, TMI, I also haven't gone poo in almost the same amount of time. It's not painful or anything, it's just... not moving through? I don't know, maybe 5 days? It's not unusual for me to go 2-3 days without a BM, and then go 2-3 times in a day... but 5 days is kinda weird.

Could it bet the weird weather? Will the onset of fall allergies cause this kind of stall? I'm pretty susceptible to all the various allergens in the air, especially when new to the area and haven't been taking allergy meds hoping my body would sort it out. I've been waking up congested though, and not sleeping well because of it... I wonder if that's contributing? All day yesterday, and the day before I was having sinus/upper respiratory issues. Coughing, sneezing, runny nose... Unpleasant.

As far as hormones go, I'm coming up on the "green" week in my tracker app... meaning 'fertile days' so ovulation is around the corner, and I don't know if that's a factor... Sometimes it is, but it's usually just a small bump, and my cycle would have to be perfectly regular this time around for this to be accurate.

I've been walking a lot, and even jogging a little (I managed to jog a 1/4 mile without stopping YAY!), so there is even exercise involved in this, and I feel like something HAS to give soon, because it just doesn't make much sense to me. :-\

[MissLoud]

Oh Mandy surely something will move soon! In both areas I can't see anything that stands out which would be making you hold onto the weight. Have you tried cycling your calories? Still have the same amount over the week but somedays really low and have a few more on other days. I've found in the past, its helped jumpstart things.

So sick overnight, fever chills the whole deal, but no sick days for mums

[jenjenangel027]

Doctor called....but nothing I didn't already know....positive for RA...now I get to wait for an appointment with the rheumatologist....hope that doesn't take forever!

[ubergirl]

Jenni I'm sure the doctor was trying to be thorough, but it still makes me frustrated on your behalf-- to wait all this time just to find out what you already know! Hope the wait for the rheumatologist isn't TOO long.

MissLoud No sick days for moms-- ain't that the truth! Hope you are feeling better.

Mandy Oh darlin, I really do feel you. It is SO frustrating to stall, and NO rhyme or reason. You can know intellectually that this happens sometimes, but it is super hard to go through it. In the TMI department, honestly I think that was what set me off on my last few hard days. I was bloated due to nothing moving and my weight was stuck and I felt like I "looked fat" and it set me off course. I don't know why we stall sometimes but I can tell you that it happens to me frequently and I can never figure out any reason. What is good is that you are resisting the urge to do the bad thing-- which is to start going lower and lower hoping for the scale to move. It will move, and it will move with a whoosh!

Just doing a nighttime check in. Today was a lot better, but I still ate a pretty big dinner and then scarfed down a bunch of pumpkin biscotti-- fortunately for me, they aren't the highest calorie cooked in the world. Came in at 1382, which is higher than I like to be, but I walked my kid to school and then took an hour long walk later, so I figure it was good.

[garnetrising]

Just popping in to *****. Yes, yes I am. I work 60 hours a week. I drive between 3 and 4 hours a day. I get maybe 5 hours of sleep a night on average. I spent my time in school doing enough to graduate with over a year of college out of the way while maintaining a near perfect average and achieving honors in Latin, math, and science. I was offered a 10k dollar scholarship to RIT. I worked full time while going to college fulltime, literally 16 hour days plus travel time. I have spent my life keeping myself from falling into a whole I can't climb out if - that takes far more strength than people realize. I have been the glue to hold my family together and the one who has to build everybody else up. Don't you ever, ever! tell me that the problem with we "young kids" is that we don't know how to work hard. You have know ****ing idea now hard I have worked all of my ******* life. I am allotted a 15 minute break per 4 hours worked by company policy. You are not going to belittle me for taking it when I work and have worked has hard as I do and as I have to get to where I am.

[toastedsmoke]

OMG FeraFilia, you look awesome! That length really showcases your cheekbones and jawline! It suits you so well and your hair looks so pretty and swingy like this!

martini: Oh there was no need to drag me down to consumerism. I'm there with you already! I have the shoes I'm going to order in my shopping cart online. I'm just working towards my scale telling me to hit the "purchase" button. I'm glad we're helping you. You guys help me with more than just weight loss too. Booo on failed cooking experiments. I hope the Japanese dish worked better than the soy "chicken." I struggle with comfort eating because for me it's not about a food per se that I find comforting, it's the very act of eating itself. So the gateway food might not even be unhealthy, but before you know it, I'm in binge mode 20 and adding the binge to the list of things I'm seeking comfort from. Which isn't great.

garnetrising: I'm so glad the new job is going well. And that things are progressing nicely with J... Yes yes I know I know, it's very casual and slow and everything... but still #TeamJ

lulu78: Heyyy!!! Welcome!!! This group is awesome and supportive and I can't wait to hear more of your experiences on successfully losing so much of your regain! Well done on sticking to it so far and on all your succeses!

jenjenangel007: I know this is hardly consolation for the sticky scale but maintaining at one weight is always much better than sliding down the wrong direction! It's easy to get discouraged when the scale isn't moving and discouragement can mean falling off plan, so to still be sticking with it, IS a victory. And if you keep on plugging away and staying on plan, the scale will have to cooperate.

LaurieDawn: Yay you on "normal" food behavior and more importantly on your fitness achievements! You're doing awesome! And 203/204 is rockstar levels all things considered! You're amazing! Well done you! Wonderland beckons.

PinkHurricane: Yay your 5 lbs! Don't dismiss it as water weight. Water weight or not, your body still had to carry it and you're on your way!!! You can totally rock this journey!

Slashni: It's so great to hear from you. I hope you have an awesome vacation.

MissLoud: Don't let the people talking get you down. People used to give me unsolicited advice all the time even before I tried to lose weight. Then when they started noticing I lost weight, they kept up with the mutterings. I actually had a trainer at the gym unsolicited tell me I was too fat to run. All those things hurt, but being that no one else's opinion counted since only I could do this journey myself, no one could do it for me, I kept on keeping on. Then I got to goal and the mutterings became about how I was too skinny, what pills I had taken to lose the weight, said trainer from the past approached me to congratulate me but also asked whether I'd had surgery because they (the trainers at the gym) couldn't understand how I'd lost the weight... #tsk So anyway, my point is people will always talk. And then we have our own hookers too... Sometimes we have to get to the "ain't nobody got time for that" mode. It can be hard with family and friends but sometimes because we understand our family or become accustomed to their foibles, it's also easier to tune them out.

ubergirl: Wow. I could have written that post. Not necessarily about this weekend. But about other points in my life. First of all, I'm borderline obsessive about weighing my food, and being I'm on a calorie restricted WOE anyway, it bugs me when people want to have a bite of this or share my meals. I don't mind if I planned them into it, but last minute changes are like taking food out of my very mouth and with my issues with food, I don't do well with that at all. It's like "people y'kno, there's only so far a 300-calorie lunch can stretch!" Anyway, the main thing is that you've recognized a pattern and you're taking steps to deal with it. We are all our own experiments and we have to keep trying to beat this journey! I have total faith you'll win!


This weekend was... not good. That seems to have been the trend that hopefully stops right here! It was a bingey mess for me. For a variety of reasons including TOM, work stress, general crankiness, stress with people, plain old gluttony... I've reigned it in though and I'm doing better and feeling better. I'm back to struggling with exercise. I haven't been to my gym in nearly a month, though I did work out last week once. Today I've wrangled my feeding, tomorrow, it'll be time to wrangle my exercise. It's a public holiday for Eid (the Islamic holday) today and tomorrow. So that I'm home and doing well, is pretty awesome. Not so awesome is that I'm home and didn't workout. Yet. Tomorrow is the public holiday I have to go oversee auditions and Saturday is the weekend day I have to go oversee filming which is tedious and repetitive and everything I hate but I'm trying not to dwell on that to avoid unnecessary food-comforting behavior. Sigh!!!

Anyway here's hoping for a better week and amazing scale victories for us all. Have a great rest of the day everyone!

Yayyyy! I tried to send this since Monday and then my internet crapped out and I thought it was lost forever because I got the "This page cannot be displayed message..." But I've sorted my Internet and hit backspace and here it is! Yay! Of course I'm terribly out of date now and more has happened since Monday but I'll catch up and post later.

[jenjenangel027]

So I just want to say that even I am in pain and going through this stall....I sure glad I have you guys here that understand. I think I would have failed by now if I didn't have this site....I am so thankful for all you and this site!!!

[toastedsmoke]

MissLoud: I'm the sort of person that continued the Grease song you quoted all the way through the chorus and is still echoing "ooh ooh ooh..." there's very little I enjoy in life more than song lyrics applied to real life situations. I'm sorry you're feeling bad though. I hope you feel better soon!

jenjenangel007: I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I'm thinking of you and praying for you and hoping things turn around and you get a solution. Just as a side note, I somewhat recently started taking Swedish bitters to help with irritable bowel issues and I was on Amazon trying to decide between the brand I have readily available here and another brand I could potentially buy from Amazon but then will have to ship all the way to me... Anyway, I was checking reviews of my preferred brand and I saw a lot of reviews from people dealing with fibromyalgia and arthritis and chronic pain who said it really helped them. Now, that said, it IS the internet, but it's also just a supplement and bitters are good for you anyway and something very few people get naturally in their diet so if they may help with the pain, it might be worth checking out. It isn't the most pleasant taste in the world but you do get used to it.

LaurieDawn: I hope your interview went well. And congrats on scale victories!

FeraFilia:: Don't give up! It sucks to be stuck for more than 10 days but just imagine the size of your whoosh when it comes! Especially since it sounds like you may be retaining fluid. I know for me, my body has certain comfort weights it REALLY likes- the mid 230s for one is a favourite where I spent 6 months and then of course, there are the 180s where I spent like 8 months my first time around. Now whether these are comfort weights for my body because they are points where I feel comfortable, can fit reasonably into nicer clothes, feel prettier and am as such more complacent with being on plan OR because physiologically my body considers these weights as rest points, I'm not sure. But plateaus are normal as you said and sometimes you need to juggle things to get past them. The truth is that for both plateaus, I had to make dramatic changes to get past them- with upping exercise and being more meticulous with calorie counting. For me, I've found that certain weight decades are just easier to get through than others. If you're approaching the give-up point, consider the reason why you're at the end of your rope. Are you tired of restrictive eating? Maybe consider upping to maintenance calories for a while so you have a bit more wiggle room till you can get your second wind? Are you unmotivated by the lack of movement on the scale? Maybe consider being really strict with measuring your food for a week and rechecking you're actually still eating what you think you are calorie-wise. The unfortunate thing is that the lighter you get, the less wiggle-room for error there is. The important thing at this point is not to regain. This is not a race. If you don't feel up to eating at a deficit now for whatever reason, then maybe take a break.

ubergirl: Yay on such a great calorie trend and on staying in control till you dealt with the problem! That is SUCH a NSV and worthy of celebrating really!

lulu78: Thank goodness trends count more in weight loss than specific bad days! Yay on not experiencing any gain. I do cheat days and did it all the way through my weight loss and maintenance. Sundays tend to be my cheat days or special occasions. And usually, I was able to pick up on Monday. However, if cheat days are not working for you right now maybe you should cut them out for now and save them for birthdays, anniversaries etc. It's always important to set yourself up for success and not cause yourself to fail by playing on things you struggle with. If cheat days aren't working for you, cut them out at least for now.

garnetrising: :HUG: Sorry. Please don't let a bitter, old, relative stranger tell you who you are and what your life experience is. Don't give them that power. Swerve from their remarks, girl and walk on by. They don't know your life!


Anyho, so, okay since Monday/earlier today when I shared Monday's post, it's been kinda rough. I did super well on Monday and not so well yesterday. Today is my parent's 32nd anniversary and I baked them a cake and my brother and I are taking them out to dinner so it will probably be AT BEST a maintenance calorie sort of day, like yesterday where I hit 2032. My dad who's never had a serious weight problem but maybe is in the overweight range wants to lose some weight and improve his cholesterol and general health etc read about the 5:2 IF way of eating and so I said I'd be his buddy and do it with him, so that's new with me. We'll see how that goes. I did it earlier this year with success but I didn't stick with it because I switched to ultra-low carb which obviously didn't last and then I came for 6 weeks to America- the land of awesome and affordable food and was on the no-plan plan which was of course an epic failure... But anyway, I'm back to 5:2/IF at least till the end of the year. If by the end of the year, I'm not happy with it, I'll try out some generic calorie counting in the new year. Exercise is not going too well. I haven't done any since LAST WEEK Monday. Even though I'm coming off a public holiday, I feel exhausted and run down a bit and in need of a proper early night. Which I probably won't get tonight if I'm going out to dinner. Or tomorrow night either because I'm going to watch a play with some coworkers after work. It will be alright. I'll work something out. This is only week 2. AND it's a busy time with work so... Anyway I've got to get back on my grind. If I can, I will check in later today otherwise, till tomorrow!

[Slashnl]

Hi all, quick check in. I'm not on vacation yet, that starts on Friday. I'm just so overloaded at work right now, I've been away from this site. I will get on at least by Friday and post more.

Hang in there everyone! I sense a lot of angst. One day at a time!!