03 regainers regaining control, and relosing

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  • Martini I just wanted to say what a HUGE step that was for you to write out a whole post, realize that it was THE HOOKER talking, anticipate how we would all yell, "shut up, hooker!" and deleted your post. I mean, I think that's actually HUGE. You are starting to separate yourself from the hooker's voice and you know it when you see it! And you know when to tell her to shut the @#$% up!

    Diane Oh missy, I am just beyond delighted for you! Being in size 16 jeans is just fantastic fantastic fantastic!!! I remember myself from last time around that once I hit the low 230s I started to really see pay off-- and from here on in, you'll be shocked at how quick you start dropping sizes. Prepare to find those tiny 16s DROPPING OFF before you know it! Regarding the people at work, I also remember when I lost all the weight last time, people at work were constantly commenting on it. It also bugged me or made me feel self-conscious, but there was one really awesome side effect. Pretty soon, I realized I had started a movement and a whole bunch of people started dropping a lot of weight-- it was literally contagious. I guess they thought "if she can do it, so can I..." Anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if you start to notice something like that yourself.
    Mandy Hope your festival eating plan worked well. You had be craving funnel cake something awful!

    Jenni teenagers and toddlers in the same house. So hard! My last 2 are 8 years apart and so I completely remember what that's like!

    Jessica (((hugs))) about your pre-work jitters. Starting a new job is always hard, and I'm usually on pins and needles for the first little bit, but you'll hit your stride before you know it!

    Miss Loud New Zealand is such a beautiful country. Which part do you live in? I've been there once-- but it was quite a while ago. One of the most beautiful places in the world!

    Lotus I do hope that you didn't have to work this weekend and you got lots of rest! Glad you're feeling better.

    Laurie You have lost the regain!!!!!! That is such incredibly fabulous news, and in my book, an even bigger accomplishment that if you had just continued steadily down. No MAROONED IN FATLAND for you!

    I'm having a fun weekend so far. Went to a concert with my daughter and her friend. She was so cute-- she invited me because she thought I would like to come. Went to a soccer game for my son today-- gorgeous ocean view from the fields.

    My house is literally crammed to the gills with all kinds of super tempting junk food. My son took grandma to Costco today and they brought home cookies, tortilla chips, etc... in HUGE ENORMOUS bags. We also have a box of glazed donuts sitting on the counter. I'm doing well and did not eat any of the crap except for a few nibbles of these chip-like items called "veggie straws..." They were just calling to me from the big stupid bag. So tomorrow, I'm going to avoid eating any of them, or I'm going to measure out a serving and sit down and eat it. I HATE it when there is a snack food lying around that is really tempting me... most of the rest of the stuff I can just tune out.

    Just one more odd thing about me. I've been looking at my fit day tracker from 2009 and my weight loss is tracking exactly what it was back then. I'm losing at the exact same rate and hitting the same weights on the same days. For example, on 9/28/2009 I was 247. This morning, I saw 247 for the first time (but didn't log it yet...) Weird!

    Hope you all have a great Sunday!
  • Good morning, all! Looking like a busy Sunday for me today. So thrilled that I am healthy enough to maintain a demanding schedule.

    Diane - Woo hoo on the size 16 jeans! And on taking your daughter with you to buy them. Seems to me that it was an effective strategy in two ways. First, you didn't buy size 18 jeans that will be far too baggy far too soon. And I'm sure you found something that looked good on you. Secondly, I know you and your daughter have been struggling some. It sounds like you found a bonding moment.

    Uber - That is insanely cool that your body is echoing your earlier pattern. Bizarre, but really cool. That time, if I recall correctly, you lost over 100 pounds and maintained at 180ish for several years, right? Replicating a successful pattern, and doing it with a more relaxed sustainable way of eating when you're a few years older? Looks like neither of us are marooned in Fatland! And thanks for your words of encouragement. It makes me feel so much less crazy when I know that I am dealing with actual, real challenges that other people face instead of just making random excuses.

    Martini - We love to hear from you whenever you have the opportunity to post. Even though you are not always able to post daily, you seem to post exactly what's needed when it's needed. I know I am not the only one who has relied on you, your wisdom, and your unique brand of humor to make it through hard times. Hope you're getting a handle on the exotic food issue. I am beyond impressed that you're slogging through it rather than quitting, which I would definitely be tempted to do in your situation. Hope the grocery shopping went well.

    Mandy - Yippee for me time! We all need it.

    Jessica - You know what's cool about enduring the two weeks your old job overlaps with your new job? That little extra financial boost and knowing that it's just two weeks. I would encourage you to try to make sure you get some sleep as well, though. Sleep is vital to weight loss, and for me at least, it impacts my mood.

    MissLoud - New Zealand and spring! What a lovely combination. Hope your day is fantastic.

    Jenni - Look at you closing in on your 10% goal. That's what persistence looks like! Hope you shake the bug soon. So much harder to do what needs to be done when you have to deal with that too.

    So, feeling a little blah yesterday, so did a bit of clearance shopping. Saw a dress that I loved, but it was a medium. Ain't no way I fit a medium, so bought that and a skirt and shirt set that I loved. Got ready to go out to dinner and debated trying on the dress. Sometimes, it makes me feel bad when I try something on and have to work hard to get it off. But I really liked it, and it looked like it might fit. And it did! I have no theory as to how I fit into a medium dress, other than the accurate statement my friend made about how I carry a lot of weight in my arms and legs, but I don't care. It fit, and it looked good. We went out to eat, and the hostess declared that she was in love with my dress. It was one of those, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels" moments.

    Down to 205.6. Can't remember whether I was at 203 or 204 in December 2012 when I started consistently (if slowly) gaining weight the last time instead of losing consistently, but I am nervous about going into that territory again. Ain't no way to the other side but to go through it, though. Going to try to make this weekend a 100% on plan weekend!

    Have a great Sunday all!
  • Decided to pop on this morning just to feel sorry for myself and whine!

    True confession: I'm now weighing every day on two different scales. Yes, I know this is stupid. I'm using the "official" scale as the one I've been using all along. Yesterday, the unofficial scale showed 247! This morning, unofficial scale said 252. Meanwhile, yesterday, official scale weighed me in at 249, and this morning, again, 250. So, I'm pissed because I thought I had achieved 248 enough to change my ticker, and also, because I really thought the the unofficial scale was more accurate and that I was actually probably getting to 247.

    As mentioned yesterday, we have a house absolutely JAM PACKED with junk food right now, so with that and the scale disappointment I'm going to have to really keep my mind in gear.

    In the NSV department, I was sitting yesterday talking and all of a sudden I noticed that MY LEGS WERE CROSSED! Yes, indeed. When I get too fat, I can't cross them, and there I was, legs crossed and I hadn't even noticed! I tend to thin out in my legs, arms, and face first, and the dreaded belly goes last... makes fitting into clothes hard, but definitely helps with leg crossing!

    Laurie It is SO SCARY to approach a "trampoline weight". And honestly, I'm just AMAZED that you are fitting into mediums! Perhaps fat arms and legs rule! I'm absolutely certain that if I saw you I would think you were absolutely TINY! And yes, thanks for remembering... I lost 110 lbs between 2009 and 2010 and then maintained until 2012 when I just almost overnight got all stressed and packed about half back on, then last year, over the course of the year, I put on about another 20, pushing me up into the 280s, which was only 10 lbs below my original start weight. I'm still traumatized by the whole thing. Losing the weight was one of my proudest achievements-- and when I regained it was so fast, I didn't know what hit me... I stayed on the losing maintaining train for 3 years, went totally off for 6 months, had 4 or five aborted restarts for the next 18 months, and finally now, I've been back on track since late May. It IS interesting how I'm losing almost as fast this time around, even though I'm exercising a lot less and being less strict about my food choices... I'm hoping it will pay off in the long run.
  • Hey all!

    Uber - I loooove a good funnel cake, but we skipped it. My carnival food included a grilled chicken breast sandwich with honey mustard sauce, and shared an 'elephant ear' with my husband. I'd never heard of those! Apparently it's similar to a funnel cake in that it's fried dough topped with sugar, but this was more like biscuit dough in a disk shape rather than pancake dough in a web like shape. Also, it was topped with cinnamon, white sugar and brown sugar, instead of powdered sugar and fruit. Good stuff.

    Laurie - YAY for fitting smaller sizes and looking good! I have a pair of size 20 jeans from Old Navy that I can comfortably wear now. It's awesome (except for the whole muffin top thing, which I have even in my loosest jeans... ugh)

    Martini - Post what you can, when you can. Every post doesn't need to be a magnum opus! I think everyone will agree that sometimes all you have time for is "hey, checking in. staying on plan" and that's plenty! It helps you stay on track (or at least it helps me!) and it lets us know how you're doing. You'll find something that works. Until then, good on you for deleting the negative post. Sometimes we just need to tell that voice to shut up!

    Jessica - If I haven't said it already, congrats on your new job! I wish you lots of luck, and calorie free caffeine drinks to get through your time doing both! I'd be a nut case, living on sugary drinks and junk food because of easy access and stress. You're doing amazing!

    Diane - You and Laurie are totally rocking the smaller sizes. That's so great!

    Miss Loud, Jenni, Lotus, Toasted - Hello to you all, and I hope you're having a great weekend!

    I really hope I didn't miss anyone! If I did, I apologize.

    As for me, Today's weigh in was 284.0, but that was a little earlier than normal (before church) so I'm hoping to see lower tomorrow and can feel like I'm gonna hit my 280 by 10/9 goal!

    Anyway, I wanted to show you guys this, to see if you can see a difference. Selfies! One is pretty much the only one I took when I was at 330, and then one from this morning because I wanted to show off the jewelry I bought at the pumpkin show. Left is at my start weight, right is this morning. Tough comparison, because the first one I used every angle and lighting trick in the book to look less fat, this one today I just put the phone in front of my face and took the picture lol.


  • Hi all!

    Not much going on today. We had some rain and cooler temps move in overnight. I guess fall wants to come in now. I am such a summer lover, I hate to see it go, but I guess it is time. Feeling so lazy today, but I'm going to try to make myself productive. If nothing else, I'm going to start looking at my list for hunting. Makes me happy!

    Mandy: Wow, what a difference! Your face is really slimming a lot!!! You look absolutely amazing, and you are just so pretty!

    Uber: Well, hopefully those scales aren't causing you too much anxiety. I understand the obsession though. I also like what you said about crossing your legs. I noticed that I can do that too, without the big struggle. Funny how good being normal can make you feel!

    LaurieDawn: A medium! So cool!!! I think that's wonderful! I will say that it is funny/difficult to even know what size to try. I know with the new jeans, I thought that they looked way too small to even try on, but how good it felt to see them slide all the way up. Most people take measurements to see decreases in their bodies. I wish I could, but I just don't like to do it. But seeing decreases in sizes and how things fit works for me!

    Jessica: Good luck on the job. I know you'll be great!!

    Martini: Just keep posting when you can. Your opinions are so very valuable to us all!
  • Oh my goodness had to share!!!!!!!! I got on the scales this morning and saw 115.3kg! -2.2 totally missed the 116s I could cry sorry forget you guys are not metric - I lost nearly 5 pounds in a week!! Think I need a lie down

    Yes New Zealand is stunning, ubergirl thats so cool you've been here, its such a long way to come! I live right at the bottom of the South Island in a little place called Invercargill.

    Geez Mediums and size 16s. Look at you guys go! I carry my weight in my butt with a small waist, so hard to find pants and jeans that fit over my thighs and don't bag around my waist when I'm smaller. At this point I will be pleased when thats my problem.

    Photos are so important! I took befores this time round, in hopes to keep me motivated. You can definitely see a difference around your cheekbones Mandy and man you have lovely skin!

    Sorry so many !!!!!!!!!!'s Its just that kind of day
  • Martini...post when you can we love hearing from you!

    Mandy...wow look at you I can tell a difference how beautiful!!! And congrats on your loss!

    Uber....YAY I am glad you are continuing to lose look at you getting further away from 250!

    Laurie...thank you....I am hoping to make this goal! And wow a medium that is amazing...I just fit into 2 pairs of my 14's....I was so happy

    Jessica...rocking it all the way woohooo boys and weightloss

    Missloud....yay for the weightloss and I would love to see New Zealand oh so beautiful. We were stationed in South Korea for 2 years!

    Diane...I am feeling lazy too! Still feeling run down! Hope you feel better!

    Didn't weigh in today probably wont until end of month its my dreaded high carb time NSV I fit into my 14's capris and jeans. Not all of them but almost!
  • Sorry rant below....

    I guess when it comes to weightloss I have mother issues. Generally I don't normally tell my mother I'm trying to loose weight because she likes to railroad the whole thing, every conversation is about how im doing what I'm doing right, how much weight I should be loosing and by when, this time she saw my calorie counting book so I got caught out. I know she thinks shes doing the right thing, but this isn't about her at all! So she just rang me to ask how my weigh in went, I told her about my huge loss, of course she proceeded to tell me I should be loosing that every week because I'm huge and it comes off faster, and see what happens when I put my mind to it. grrr if it was anyone else I would have given her an earful but rants have no effect on my mother they just go in one ear and out the other, or she gets all offended, but can never see my point of view I was never a fat kid - not even a fat teenager (although I thought I was) and I still remember my mum watching what I ate and telling me I'd be pretty if I just lost a couple of kgs. Its very weird she doesn't know her own daughter, because if you tell me to do something, I generally do the opposite

    So mad at her, why can't she celebrate my successes or just butt right out

    And I will turn out of being a teenager an back to my normal adult self now that is all lol
  • Mandy, I'll admit it's going to be tough. I think I'm might have to streamline some caffeine for a while but I'll figure out a way to pull through. You always look gorgeous in your pictures. I'll be honest, they're seriously inspiring me to break down and take some new ones. I don't think I'm quite ready to yet, but at some point I'm going to let my brother's fiance take some and I might even give in to ones that include more than my face. I think I'm going to wait until I've saved up enough money to get my hair trimmed and possibly get some long bangs 'cause I'll be honest, after over a year of not getting my hair cut, it's starting to look a little raggedy.

    Martini, hope you have a great weekend!

    Uber, congratulations on your NSV! Omg, funny story - but I've noticed myself sitting with my legs crossed more, too. More importantly, crossing them isn't making the other leg fall asleep either! <3

    Laurie, OMG LAURIE I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!! Here's the thing about sizes, it really does vary from brand to brand and even from cut to cut within a brand. For example, I have a size 19 juniors top by No Boundaries (I think it's no boundaries anyway.) It's a basic black tee. The 15/17 fits but is still a little snug for me to feel 100% comfortable in it. But the size 19 sweater I tried on by the same company had so much extra fabric! As did a size 16/18 sweater by Faded Glory. It really just depends. I'll admit it can be a bit frustrating for me when I have to wear larger sized shirts but I remind myself that there are two reasons for that - well, three. My gut and my breasts. Even if my gut didn't make me feel so uncomfortable right now, I'd still have to wear larger tops to accommodate the girls. It's just a fact.

    Diane, hope you found a way to be productive. I'll be honest, I let myself waste my time today. It may very well be the last full day I have off for a while, I might as well have enjoyed it.

    MissLoud, I wish I could smack your mother right now. I'll admit that I have a complicated relationship with my mother when it comes to weight, too. The truth is a comment she made with I was in 1st grade heavily contributed to my belief that I've always been fat. It wasn't until my early 20s that I looked back at pictures of me as a kid and realized that I hadn't been. Now, it's a situation where I just don't talk about my weight loss with her. If at any time I'm smaller than her or losing faster than her - she's been overweight my entire childhood - I worry about her freaking out about it. I know where my mental instabilities come from and she's been making huge strides of her own accord with her weight that I'm not going to do anything that might derail her success. Especially not as fragile as she is right now with her divorce.

    Jenni, congrats on fitting into your size 14s, Jenni. I'll admit that I am so jealous of you and Laurie and your skinny little bodies. I might weigh less, but you guys are fitting into smaller sizes. Reminds me of how much I need to get back to my toning and strength training.


    Didn't weigh today. I figure I've got to weigh tomorrow anyway for some of my challenges no point in weighing today when I weighed yesterday. Kinda nice to feel that way. Tuesday, I'll definitely have to make the time to do measurements, though. I didn't do them last week and I really should have. BAD JESSICA. I figure I'll go half on any changes between two weeks ago and this week and enter that for last week's numbers. (shrugs)

    I also posted something on facebook about the new job and the possibility of leaving my current one. J and I went back and forth in replies to it for a while talking about hypotheticals and my options. I said something in response to one of his comments suggesting that I go back to school, asking, hypothetically how I'd find the time to do that while working 60 hour weeks... Most of the reply was all serious and logical.. Then I got to the last sentence and I'm pretty sure the grin on my face was ridiculous... Really glad my brother hadn't been her at the time to harass me about it.

    Quote:
    "Hypothetically, that guy with the opinion might think you should get a place close enough where getting together for Doctor Who nights might be more convenient."
  • Uber - The first leg crossing of any weight loss effort is so awesome!!! I so wanted to comment on the two different scales thing, but the leg crossing is crowding it out because I actually get - in this profound I know this kind of way - what a big deal that is.

    Laurie - I've spent the last year being bullied and harassed at work. Systematically. I haven't known how to respond to any of it. Today I approached a senior colleague and asked for help. I don't know if I'll get it, but there's something to be said for the sense of peace that comes with admitting you're no longer clear on the best way forward.

    That's what came to mind while reading what you're saying about entering that weight loss zone. I have no idea what your answer is going to be about how to navigate the next ten pounds, but I do think that a big part of that answer exists in the question itself. I'm glad you're asking and putting it out there.

    Mandy - You have the most beautiful sparkle in your eyes! In all honesty I can't see a huge weight loss in your face - maybe clearer cheekbones in the today picture - but you're lovely in both photos.

    MissLoud - You and I have the same body type. I always have to buy jeans that are too big for my waist because my thighs are so disproportionately big. Unfortunately that doesn't go away with weight loss for me. I just buy jeans that don't fit well in a smaller size.

    As for mother issues... I'm a 40-year old woman and my mother can still make me cry like I'm four years old and just scraped my knee. I've only been able to recently find some peace with our relationship (quite accidentally and after years of distance), but it's still a conscious effort. Good luck with figuring out your path through that.

    Jessica - Good luck on your first day at work!!

    Jenni - Amen to not weighing until the end of the month. I'll join you.
  • Uber - I love the phrase "trampoline weight." That's exactly how it feels! Last time (in Dec 2012/Jan 2013), I got really desperate to get under 200. I had fluttered around the 2-teens for a substantial amount of time, and I started to do things I wouldn't normally do, in the hope that I would get under 200 and then be able to maintain with more reasonable steps. But I gave up. This time, I am trying to be more zen about it. I don't have a deadline. Just the knowledge that I feel better when I'm on plan than when I am not, and a sincere hope that I will want to sustain that forever, even when my weight loss goals are not always met in the time frame I want to achieve them. Your experience is also incredibly instructive. Beside from the incredible coincidence on dates matching, it's really great to see that the more reasonable solutions often work as well as the more extreme ones.

    Martini - I am so sorry to hear you are enduring bullying and harassment at work. We spend SO much time at work, and it's a place we have to be to survive financially. I really hope that you find a solution soon. And your perspective is interesting (per usual). I actually think it might be a good thing that I did the trampoline thing when my kids came and I gained that 13 pounds. It actually feels like a completely new weight loss attempt in some ways, and maybe that's how I will punch through. Instead of feeling fatigued like the last time, when I had dropped about 75 pounds to get there, I feel as though I'm really starting at the 206. It will be interesting to see.

    Jessica - #TeamJ all the way! You're absolutely right about sizes. I would never claim that "medium" is my size now. I still struggle to fit into a lot of larges. For me, my arms and shoulders are a big barrier, in addition to my girls. I tried on a light suit jacket from my closet yesterday. The shoulders are too snug to allow full range of movement, the fabric strains across the girls, and the stomach part is loose. I know it's ridiculous to complain about, but my proportionally smaller stomach is a feature that I want to emphasize, and by the time my shoulders fit the jacket, it will be so loose in the stomach that it will make me look shapeless. =/ But my sleeveless medium dress? It emphasizes my hourglass shape and makes me happy! Even if the hooker in my head reminds me that people will notice the flab on my arms.

    MissLoud - Oh yes. The "helpful" people who don't know what they're talking about. My Trainer Boy Challenge came about because the trainer at my gym told me a lot of things that I knew were not true for people like me. "If you're not losing weight, it's just because you're coming up with a bunch of excuses." kind of stuff. Losing weight and maintaining the loss is not easy. There's a multi-billion dollar industry attesting to that. People get half of their stomachs removed in order to lose weight and maintain that loss. Belittling advice indicating it's easy is neither motivational nor respectful. I'm sorry. (But the advice you'll find here is consistently both motivational and respectful!)

    Jenni - I can't fit into my size 14 jeans! Different body shapes. Different sizing. Makes clothes all guesswork. Woot on you fitting into your size 14s! Saweet! Hope you get great scale movement when you weigh in after your high carb days.

    Diane - I am so excited for you to have well-deserved hunting vacation! While I love the summer, I also love crisp, cool fall days and evenings. The winter temps are not my thing, but fall is pretty great. And you know what else? Fall is a great time for hunting! =) I still think it's awesome that you were hesitant about 18s, only to find the 16s fitting. Those are great days!

    Mandy - You are so gorgeous! With, as has been said, perfect skin. As Martini said, I do see some additional definition to your cheekbones, but the before photo is just as lovely as the after photo. And great jewelry. You are a class act. Still rooting for 280 by 10/09. Let's rock these last few days of September and the first week of October!

    Toasted and LotusMama - Hope y'all had fantastic weekends!

    205.2 this morning. And I got my first random weight loss compliment. Ironically, I considered wearing my size medium dress to work today to see if I could finally get someone to notice, and decided on two loose fitting pieces with a jacket instead because I decided I didn't really care if anyone noticed. She said, "I can really see it through your face and neck." Interesting.

    Back to the weekday routine. Good food. Access to a gym within 5 minutes of work. No deadlines so pressing I can't go this afternoon. I am feeling really blessed today.
  • Hey guys. I've not had the chance to catch up with everyone's post but I just wanted to do a quick check in. This weekend was not the best. I got roped into a gluten-free baking party because I apparently "know how to do it" from the "great baking weight gain of 2013." It wasn't as much of a mess as it could have been but it wasn't great either. I didn't meet my 1.5 weight loss goal for the week, which is probably fair considering I was eating at maintenance for most of the week AND I was sore and retaining water from starting a new fitness regimen. I didn't work out this weekend at all, but I got back in the saddle today, this morning and I have workout plans for tomorrow morning as well. So far, I'm also doing pretty alright calorie-wise so there's hope y'all.

    I hope you guys are all doing well and had great weekends. I can't wait to read up on all you've been up to later on my commute home. Wishing everyone a wonderful day.
  • You guys are so insanely sweet with your compliments. I'm totally blushing over here! I give credit to my mother in law for the skin... she's a nurse at a cosmetic dermatologist's office, and gives me expensive skin care stuff (usually cleanser, but also toner and moisturizer) on a semi-regular basis!

    And Jessica I totally hear you on the needing a hair cut. I haven't gotten mine cut in 3 years (because we've been broke, and I can't go to a cheap place...thick hair that tends to curl, it gets butchered!) And I'm definitely a bit raggedy. You can see the line from the last time I dyed my hair. :-\



    (Yeah, that's down to my butt, I blow dried it straight as possible)

    Anyway, today's weigh in was 283.2... down a full pound from Friday, even with the carnival stuff (and my mini binge last night while hubby was gone).

    No reason at all for it either. I was on plan all day, then got massive cravings for food at around 5pm, so I had dinner. Then I was still having cravings, so I had an orange dream bar and stopped. Later, I was reading, and hubby wasn't home so I got a bag of chips and started munching away while I read. I noticed it, put the bag away, drank a ton of water, walked around the house a bunch, and wouldn't allow myself any more food for the rest of the night. I WILL hit my mini goal of 50 pounds gone by my birthday!

    And now I have to go get ready, because we're going to an ordination this afternoon, and I have to figure out how to behave food-wise at the catered dinner afterward.

    Have a great day, y'all!
  • Jenni Size 14 capris and jeans! You are getting to be absolutely TINY! So happy for you!

    Jessica I love imagining the smile on your face! And just another word of sympathy about the "gut" issue. I carry ALL of my weight in my gut and it is just the worst place to carry it I think!

    toasted Such a hard dilemma-- you enjoy baking and it's a social activity, and yet, you know that gluten free baking is not your friend. Glad you handled it ok, and also probably a good experience to learn how to do the activity that you enjoy, but only occasionally as a social thing, and not as a binge-friendly way of life. You should not worry about eating maintenance calories or not meeting your goals. Every week you don't gain should be placed in the SUCCESS category! (says the one who did not maintain the loss..!!!)

    Martini You have my utmost sympathy about the workplace bullying situation. Boy is that NOT OKAY! I can tell you that it has happened to me, and unfortunately, it has happened on more than one occasion. It is quite common in my former profession (nursing) Doctors bully nurses and nurses bully each other. No wonder you have been trouble focusing on weight loss. Having a bad situation at work seems even more toxic than having one at home. I'm really glad that you finally spoke to someone about it! In the past, I suffered in silence and then changed jobs rather than trying to fix the problem. AWFUL! Strength to you, sister!

    MissLoud Much sympathy with your mommy issues! In my own case, a big part of my weight issues stemmed from my mom. She had weight issues of her own and she really made a mess of raising me-- constantly picking on my weight, telling me I was fat, encouraging me to go on nutty diets... she has finally backed off of me, but she is still really hard to be around. She is always talking about how little she's eating and whenever eats anything besides diet food she calls it "being bad" or "being evil." I'm constantly telling her that food is neither bad nor good-- it just is... sigh... I strongly encourage you to consider speaking directly to your mom-- saying that your weight is none of her business and that it makes it harder for you to lose weight when she is commenting all the time, and then keep her ENTIRELY out of the loop. You know when my mom finally laid off the running judgmental food commentary? It was when my teenage daughters started calling her on it all the time-- they started giving it right back to her. She was always saying stuff about what they ate, and finally, they started teasing HER and saying wow, look how much you are eating... and finally, she seemed to kind of get the picture and back off a little-- she didn't like it when bit when she was on the receiving end!

    Diane Your vacation sounds like it will be amazing. I can't imagine anything more fun than camping out on horseback! And it will be even more fun now that you are so fit-- you'll be like the Energizer bunny!

    Mandy LOL. I must be the super weight conscious one around here, because I actually think your pictures look QUITE different. Your face is much thinner. You are one beautiful lady in both pictures, but to me, your face has thinned out A LOT!

    Laurie Sometimes I think we are the same person exactly! I think you and me did the exact same thing... last time around, my pace of weight loss was glacial once I got to a BMI of about 30 but I just kept driving myself... I exercised too much, dropped too low on calories, and generally speaking just pushed myself way too hard. In the end, it backfired on me, which is why I'm so determined to do it differently this time around. You sound like a very determined person (as am I) and you are probably used to being able to apply that drivenness to most things in life. When the going gets tough, we think we are tougher than most people (I'm guessing.) But, will and determination doesn't trump biology and the body does what it does...taking a more zen approach is absolutely the better solution. Kudos on the random weight comment!

    Thanks everybody for "getting" the leg crossing thing! Yesterday I had to get dressed up to do a book event, and it really was a lot less stressful than when I had to so so 37 lbs ago. When I'm at my heaviest, it is so hard to pull together outfits.

    I feel like my plan of eating a wider variety of foods is really working. Yesterday, I measured out a 1 oz serving of the stupid veggie straws that had been driving me nuts with craving the day before. By the time I was halfway through the serving I was getting sick of them and realizing that I didn't like them that much! Goodbye craving! For dinner, I was really hungry and we ordered pizza from Dominos. Normally I skip pizza because I don't like it that much, but last night it sounded really good. I checked calories ahead of time and realized that I had plenty of calories to eat pizza. I ate 3 slices and it was delicious! But afterwards, I realized that I really didn't need the 3rd slice and I would have been quite content with 2. Got on the scale this morning, and even though I had counted my calories and knew that I had stayed in range, I STILL fully expected to see a scale bounce, but in fact, I had lost my bounce from the previous day.

    Losing weight while eating more-or-less normally has been an enormous revelation for me. If I can get a handle on this, I may actually be able to shake the binge-eating habit once and for all!
  • Aw you guys are so insightful! Thanks for letting me rant yesterday (lol you didn't have much choice!) I have tried to talk to my mum in the past about just leaving me to the weightloss thing but it really doesn't work. My husband actually told her on the phone the other day to back off and stop putting so much pressure on me, shes still the same. Maybe when she starts talking I'll just switch to white noise in my head sounds like you have great girls ubergirl!

    Anyone doing any challenges for October? I've decided not to do any date specific challenges this time around they get me down when I don't get what I was after. Sept I set myself excercise goals and smashed it! This month I'm sticking with the excercise and challenging myself to stay on plan 95% I know there is a couple of days when staying on plan will be hard, my son turns 4 on sunday and there is no way I'm not eating cake!

    Anyway thats enough of me rambling - I'm off to work on my tan in the garden hope I don't scare the sun away