03 regainers regaining control, and relosing

You're on Page 19 of 34
Go to
  • Jessica!!!!!!!

    OMG is the view from onederland awesome!?!?!?!
  • The view is incredible. <3 This week has been a blessing all around, guys. It's been awesome. Thank you all so much for the pictures and lyrics and congrats. <3 <3 <3

    I don't know if I'd have been able to make it this far without you guys and I'm definitely gonna make sure I don't forget that in spite of this great success I still have a long way to go and I can't let myself get lax about things.

    I LOVE YOU GUYS!
  • Trying to shift back to morning posts, and this morning, it means not a lot of people have posted in the interim, so not a lot of personals.

    Jessica - I relate to you in so many ways, and I hear exactly what you're saying about remembering that you have a long way to go. But I hope you're enjoying your success. Like, really, genuinely appreciating it. I struggle with that. I graduated from law school, and already had a job lined up, and thought, "I need to focus on doing well at this job." The job was only for a year, and instead of completely appreciating what was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I thought, "I need to line up a job for when this ends." Maybe we can figure out how to do both? Enjoy our successes, but recognize that success does not mean we're done? Cuz I can only imagine how fantastic you look and feel now!

    Martini - Just seeing your avatar always brightens my day!

    Jenni - I totally stole your quotation and am re-posting it because it is just so perfect for me today. Hope your family is feeling better, and I appreciate your empathy for my sadness. Yeah. I get what you're saying about excuses. But, here's how I define this in my mind, and maybe it's because I struggle with depression, but it's important to frame it this way in order to protect my mental health. I was down to about 160 before I went to law school. I gained some of it back before law school, but then, during law school, I steadily gained. I had periods of weight loss, because I never just gave up, but my ex-husband left me, waited for my student loan to be deposited and took everything from our joint accounts, and disappeared from my kids' lives in my second year of law school. And you know what? I knew I couldn't drop out, because I would lose my scholarship and my Law Review position (which would make a difference in finding a job in a competitive market). So, I got a job, accepted the help of friends with great difficulty, reduced my class load for that year, then literally scheduled 3 nights a week as all-nighters to make it through my very heavy final semester of law school. I refuse to look at law school me and conclude that I was making excuses. I had challenges and obstacles, and I still never gave up. I gained weight, but I didn't gain "need to remove the wall of my house to get me out" weight. Sometimes, other things are more important than weight loss. But as long as I don't give up, I haven't failed.

    "Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts." - Unknown.

    Totally, victoriously on plan yesterday. Got a lot of work done. Ate well. Lifted heavy. A friend wanted to meet for lunch, and I asked if she minded taking a lunchtime walk instead of eating food. I was a paragon of virtue. Who only weighed 0.2 pounds less this morning than yesterday morning. =)

    Good to be back in a routine. Good to more easily stay on plan. Good to have the option of burying myself in work at this point. Kids arrived safely in Russia, and I was able to communicate with them via email and mobile chat apps. Maybe I will be able to transition back to "normal" life without a complete breakdown. (Okay - I may have lost it a little on Monday afternoon --when they were still here! -- but I seem to have regained equilibrium.)
  • Good morning everyone!

    I hope everyone is doing well!

    I sat down and planned out my food today, to 1400 calories, leaving me ~300, if dinner's really good and I want another bite or two, or my sweet tooth gets unbearable... Though I did plan a decently sized dinner, and a sweet treat later. I'm putting a smallish (2.4 pounds) pork shoulder in the crock pot with some apple bourbon bbq sauce (I didn't make it, Campbell's did), and I'll be making some sweet potatoes (and white potatoes for hubby) to go with it, as well as some spaghetti squash. Maybe a spinach/feta/strawberry salad with raspberry vinaigrette if I'm extra hungry. I also picked up some Dannon Light & Fit strawberry cheesecake and chocolate raspberry flavors of Greek yogurt, so they will sub in as desserts. I imagine the chocolate raspberry will be yummy as a frozen treat, and the strawberry cheesecake will be excellent as a dip for strawberries.

    I will be back later with personals, I need to go get this pork in the crock pot. It has to sit on low for 7-8 hours!

    Edit to add.... I went for a 2 mile walk last night (a mile out, a mile back) and here's a few pictures I took. This is the street where I live.

    My house from the end of the side drive:


    A field of soy beans:


    A field of tobacco:


    Deer greeting us when we got home:


    I love it here.
  • Hi all!

    Jessica: Wow, can't mention anything yet until I say congratulations Jessica!!! Awesome news! What a great accomplishment and you deserve all of the praise and celebration!

    Mandy: Beautiful place! How wonderful for you! Oh, and pork! Love it! It just sounds so tasty.

    LaurieDawn: Aww. I'm sure it is rough having your kids gone now, but good for you for staying so on plan. We're here for you! Stay strong and just keep moving forward!

    Jenni: Great quote. And so true, especially for all of us regainers/relosers.

    Uber: I hate it when that starving feeling hits. Ugh! Stay strong!



    As for me, not much going on. Feeling pretty darn sore right now from squats and lunges. I hadn't been doing them right, my form was off. So now, getting the form right, is making them so difficult to do. But I'm glad the instructor helped me do it right.
  • Mandy...what a beautiful home!!!!! Wow!!! I love love it!

    Diane...that is my new motto for now....and I hope your soreness fades today

    Laurie...I get it...I suffer from depression too. My dad is on meds for Bi-polar and it runs in the family. Sometimes I am so strong headed (the redhead in me) that I just need to have an explanation for it! I never thought I would be 250 EVER and I did. I cannot even tell my hubby or family how much I weighed because I am ashamed. And this time I will NOT let myself go back there....I may have falls but I don't want it to be so severe where I was and felt hopeless! I get law school, my sister went through it and is a family lawyer with her own practice now...she still struggles with weight because she is SO busy has no time for anything! I graduated with my Masters having 4 kids in the house and being 8 months pregnant!!! I do have so much to be proud of and you are right that sometimes life just gets in the way...but now I am committing to myself that no matter what happens in life I do not want to give up or fall to the point of where I was...does that make sense???

    As for me down another pound....I think the 2 pounds a week is stuck with me and that is okay! Next week I start another high carb week so I may be a little whinny!!!!
  • Okay. I'd love to sit down and do personals, but hubby is trying to rush me out the door... he doesn't like going to the grocery store by himself. He's afraid of picking up the wrong thing for me and doesn't want to mess me up. Precious!

    I just wanted to report my weigh in, which showed a bit of a post-TOM whoosh like I was expecting, down 2 pounds from yesterday, and 1.6 from my low, to 285.2. Almost halfway through the 80s! I'm ready to ditch them. Been here since the end of August, and I don't like spending much more than a month in one decade.

    I have 15 days to lose 5 pounds... So I can hit 50 pounds gone by my birthday.

    Think I can do it?!
  • Hi Everybody!

    Jessica I just want to highlight these wise words from Laurie
    Quote:
    But I hope you're enjoying your success. Like, really, genuinely appreciating it.
    I can't emphasize how important this is, and it is something that I'm trying to learn myself. You can miss how awesome the moment is by constantly looking toward the next goal. This is true in weight loss and in life. You should be very proud of yourself!

    Laurie You are just especially astute this morning, missy!
    Quote:
    refuse to look at law school me and conclude that I was making excuses. I had challenges and obstacles, and I still never gave up. I gained weight, but I didn't gain "need to remove the wall of my house to get me out" weight. Sometimes, other things are more important than weight loss. But as long as I don't give up, I haven't failed.
    I mean, this is really it, isn't it? This is what I tell myself ALL THE TIME. The win is not that we are not skinny every single day of our lives. The win is that we are still here and still trying. I'm convinced that if I hadn't stumbled upon 3FC, I would have just kept gaining. Weighing 295 was absolutely awful, but if I hadn't found a way to fight the monster, I could weight 350 by now. Sometimes, it's easier to prioritize weight and taking care of ourselves, and sometimes we hit a rough patch where anyone would find difficulties. Redefining the whole weight issue as an ongoing process, a win-some-lose-some proposition has been really helpful to me. There is not reason to be impatient about reaching goal... in an ideal world, we change our lifestyle because we know it's better for us, and the weight loss is just a pleasant by-product of that change. Believe me, I haven't fully mastered that mentality, but I think it's the truth. I absolutely admire people who maintain their weight within a tight range for their entire lives, but there are a lot of people who become fitness fanatics for a while then back off for a while, are a little heavier for a while then lose weight for a while... it is not all or nothing-- it's a process that will never be fully completed!

    Jenni I also LOVE your quotation. So completely true. I understand what you are saying about the red line of weighing 250 lbs. I think your pattern and mine are really similar-- pregnancy was the thing that sent me over the edge into obesity, then, because I had an underlying eating disorder, I could never figure out how to lose the weight. But when I get up above 260 or so, I start to be severely affected by my weight. I also get the whole house full of kids and taking on more and more burdens.... that is exactly my personality too. I get to the point where something has to give, and what gives is my sanity.

    Mandy Beautiful pictures! Your place looks so peaceful and beautiful! I'm so glad you like it! Also, thanks for your cooking reports-- it seems like a silly thing, but you always inspire me. To me, your message is that you can love and enjoy food and love yourself and still lose weight. That has been a very hard lesson for me to learn, so I very much enjoy your example.

    As for me, I'm having to accept the fact that I'm on my usual pattern. I've bounced back up to 251... I seem to bounce around in a 2 pound range for days up-down-up-down then finally settle on a lower weight... so I'm aware that in general I'm still trending downward. If I weren't so neurotic, I'd probably do well weighing in once a week, but instead, I'm just forcing myself to realize that if I weigh daily I have to expect about 1.5 lbs variation from day to day. Sigh...


    Hopefully soon, I'll reach a point where even the variation keeps me inside the 240s... but I'm not there yet. On the NSV front, went for a long walk yesterday and can definitely see the improvement in my fitness level! Hooray!
  • I hope no one took what I was explaining as all weight gain is an excuse I totally did not mean it that way I feel for myself I gave in to depression and made excuses and I never want to get there again!!!
  • Quote: I hope no one took what I was explaining as all weight gain is an excuse I totally did not mean it that way I feel for myself I gave in to depression and made excuses and I never want to get there again!!!
    I definitely did not take it that way at all! Depression is tough, and it saps our will to do anything.
  • Hi there - wondering if I could join in?

    I'm a chronic yoyo dieter and have in the past lost and then gained 27kg/60pounds, now after 2 kids I seem to loose and gain the same 10kg every year, my brother resently passed away unexpectedly and I feel I owe it to my family to stick around. I'm in week 5 and going strong, but I know me and really don't want to loose momentum!

    Anyway hi
  • Will so more detailed responses tomorrow but wanted to thank you all again. And yes, I am being sure to enjoy my success and all that comes with it. Like how good the girls look.

    Start at Verizon on Monday. And today, J and I chatted a bit online. He said something about it being too bad that I don't deliver coffee so I came out toward work early and told him that if he knew anyone interested in having some, I'd be at the Starbucks near his house. His response was full of seductive vocabulary like aforementioned and lackadaisical. I love a man with a good vocabulary. We hung out for another two hours or so.
  • Hey everyone, I've started this response everyday at work in the morning since Tuesday and everyday I get sidetracked by something and don't finish and then I come back the next day and try to start again and there's the cycle. Anyway today is the day. I have a bit of a lull so I think I can finally catch up without distraction.

    Slashni: I actually worked out first thing in the morning on Tuesday and yesterday. It was good and bad. I mean I felt positively SAINTLY all day afterwards and it was done and out of the way and a total weight off my shoulders BUT after the workout, all my body wanted to know was when it could go back to sleep. I don't think I'm one of those "energized-by-exercise" people. But needs must, I don't always feel like getting up in the morning for work but it's important, so I do it, I suppose it's the same with exercise. If I prioritize it, I can do it. As you say, it's something one can get used to.

    Uber: Stay strong, your whoosh will come. I'm starving too. And I'm not sure why.... or how to deal.

    garnetrising: Freight sounds like a "kickbum" workout for sure! You must be super strong!!! What are you thinking of doing to keep up those levels of intensity when you start at Verizon? Anyway so what's new with you?... ... ... #justkidding
    MEGA WONDERLAND YAY OF LIFE!!!!! OMG!!!! :c arrot: Awesome and amazing in every way, you've done it!!! Congratulations! And by the way I'm still #TeamJ all the way.

    LaurieDawn: I'm so sorry you're going through a tough time. I've always been pretty tight with my parents (never had the "too cool for parents" phase and I've always thought they were awesome people, I would want to spend time around even if we weren't related). Anyway I left home pretty early for school and I know the sadness and emptiness leaving loved ones or having them visit and then leave brings. I don't think one is ever prepared for how hard it is. I know I did it sometimes multiple times a year and it hurt as badly each time. Enough to trigger a severe, debilitating bout of depression, my first year in grad school, living alone in a new city, knowing no one. The sort of depression where you feel you deserve nothing good, where it feels like nothing matters, where you can hear how wrong the things you feel sound but still can't stop feeling them. I totally identified with what you posted. My dad used to say to me "would you rather not have had the time together, however hard the parting is?" And the answer was always NO. I think you should do whatever you need to do to get through this rough patch, whatever will help and protect your sanity. People that love you will understand. I'm thinking of you and praying for you. ALSO, thanks for the suggestion of doing workouts at my desk. I may not have a standing desk but maybe every hour I can set an alarm, and do a few sets of something- leg raises, push ups, planks. It could be a fun way to make sure I actually get up during the day to do stuff. I read your story and I'm so inspired- you're not only LaurieDawn- Paragon of Virtue but more importantly, LaurieDawn- Real Life Hero!

    MissLoud: Welcome!!! I'm so sorry about your loss. Strength and comforting thoughts to you! Congrats on 5 weeks of commitment! One day at a time, you can totally rock this!


    So, I've been doing pretty well with exercise the last couple of days. Unfortunately, I've been doing less well with food. I've been eating around maintenance which for me is 1800-2000. But it's not even been in a bingey way on pastries etc which is what I think maybe I actually feel like, it's been on silly, joyless things like chicken breasts and avocado and nuts and muesli... So I'm munchy, I'm eating things that whilst "healthy" are really adding up, and yet I feel unsatisfied because nothing is hitting the spot. I'm not sure what to do. My discipline right now is extending to staying within maintenance calories but I want to do better than that. I may just plan in the pastry and be done with it, but I also don't want it to become a slippery slope of meat pies everyday. #LeSigh y'all. I feel like I'm struggling to sync things with eating on plan and working out on plan. But at the same time, I also recognize I'm doing better than I would be if let's say I completely let go and gave up... 4000 calories a day is not impossible for me left to my own devices. I'm just struggling a bit this week is all. Today, I slept through my work out alarm, my final warning "get up now" alarm AND my carpool ride and had to pay for a cab to get to a meeting on time. I'm already stressing about how I'm going to get my workout in AND stay on track. I brought a salad to eat for lunch and now it's lunchtime and it's so uninteresting to me right now as I look at it. I think it's just one of those days. Anyway, I hope you all are doing alright and here's wishing everyone an amazing day!
  • Good morning, everyone! I feel so much more on track when I'm posting here in the morning, even if my delays are for legit reasons.

    Toasted - I feel ya on the trying to get a post written and up and struggling. I think I speak for all of us when I say that skipping personals is not only okay, but encouraged, if it means we get to hear from you. I love the personals, and can't tell you how much I have felt supported and understood here. But I also get SO much out of people just sharing their struggles and experiences. I admire your decision to exercise in the morning, and I have always been impressed by Diane's success with it. I have two thoughts, though, that I will share for whatever they are worth. First, if your body is used to going to sleep after you work out, it might just be an adjustment that it is making when it wants to sleep after a work-out. Maybe just doing it for a while will make it get used to the new habit. Secondly, if you start seeing results from morning work-outs (like feeling better physically and seeing more muscle definition), but you are still balking about them in a month or so, maybe that will provide some incentive to rework other time commitments so you can do a post-work work-out instead. I would invite you to consider an absolute commitment for 14 days, or 21 days, where you are up at a specific time and doing a work-out, even if it's an "active recovery" work-out where you are just going for a quick walk. Commit to texting a friend at a specific time each day (or even posting a single line on here - "Up and going to work out") with a reward system in place for every 7-day block. Just a thought, and something like this might not work for you. But when I am feeling particularly blah about staying on plan, a solid, detailed plan with accountability is helpful for me. I couldn't do it indefinitely, but it helps me get back in the groove.

    Mandy - Check you out with your gorgeous surroundings! Congrats on the moving scale. I remember the excitement when you were trying to crack the 200s, and now look at you, sailing through the 280s at a time when you dealt with the (ultimately positive) stress of moving, staying with your in-laws, adjusting to a new state, new job, new role. 50 pounds by your birthday would be incredible! (But, really, so would 48, or 45, or 49.) I totally hope to celebrate the 50-pound loss with you then!

    Uber - Yay for long walks and improved fitness! I hope you find a way to get back in a gym soon to supplement those fantastic walks. (Or not. Walking is a fabulous way to get fit, and maybe running will make its way back into your routine. But I remember you saying you wanted to find a way to get to the gym.) Thank you for understanding and relating to what I'm saying. I also admire people who are able to maintain their weight within a tight range their entire lives, but not nearly as much as I admire people like you and me who may not always be successful, but consistently work hard to get there, or who do get their weight down and are able to maintain it consistently. I have to admit that I am not nearly as impressed by people who do it fairly effortlessly, or find that it comes naturally to them. Yay for them. But I have much more admiration for my uncle who fought alcoholism for years, and is now sober than I do for my own commitment to sobriety. Cuz guess what? Passing on the alcohol isn't hard for me. I'm not a better person because I am fortunate enough to never have had to deal with alcohol problems personally. These thoughts are a bit unformed, but I think I'm just tired of reading internet comments from people who say, essentially, that maintaining a healthy weight is easy, and that fat people are just lazy and undisciplined. What they mean, even if they don't know it, is that it is easy for them.

    Jenni - No. I didn't think that you were saying that all weight gain is built on a bunch of excuses. I apologize if I gave that impression. I was just asking you to consider the fact that, while you may have gained weight, it's not like you were just sitting on the couch eating bon bons and getting fat (although I have no judgment about people who do that either. I love a good bon bon). There were challenges and obstacles, and you just hadn't figured out all the strategies you needed to make weight loss work with all of your other responsibilities. But here we are--figuring it out together. And, though I am currently experiencing success, my very recent bout with some re-gain reminds me that it's an ever-evolving process to identify those strategies, especially because those that worked in the past sometimes quit working. But we can--and are!-- do this together.

    Jessica - A boy and Onederland! I love watching your life blossom as you make it work day by day, step by step. I'm with Toasted. Team J all the way! And I am a vocabulary fiend! True, if slightly embarrassing fact. I did the online dating thing, and that's how I met my husband. (That's not the embarrassing fact. I think online dating is a great way to date.) But I intentionally peppered my profile and my initial messages with slightly elevated, if not obnoxious, vocabulary. I just did not want to have to completely limit my vocabulary with someone that I might end up spending a lot of time with. The hubby, I think, gets slightly annoyed that I use slightly elevated vocabulary with the stepkids, and they often ask me, "What does that word mean?". But I think conversation is a much better way to learn the vocabulary they will need for standardized tests than flashcards. Wow. I really digressed. I guess I just feel like you will appreciate my geekish love for words.

    MissLoud - I lost my brother five years ago. I am so sorry that you have lost yours. My deepest sympathies. Glad you're here, though, and that you are on a losing streak! These people here have both helped me maintain momentum when I was doing well and regroup and recommit when I struggled. It's a fantastic group. Glad to have you join it.

    Diane - I have been doing squats and lunges since May of 2012. And I know I am still doing them wrong. I have watched and mimicked people doing vids of them. I have had my hubby try to assist. I have talked to three different personal trainers about them. I am a smart woman. I promise. But while I think they have improved, I still don't think I'm doing them quite right. <sigh> Using the right form on squats and lunges? Yet another reason for me to admire you!

    I am down to 208.6 this morning. Still haven't quite lost the "kids visiting" regain, but I am lower than I was on August 1st. I'll take it, for now. Part of me wants to wallow in the "Jessica and I were at about the same weight, and she stayed committed and is now in Onederland, and here I am relieved to get down below the weight I was at 24 days ago" blues. But instead, I am working to embrace the, "How many times in the last year have I lost 20 pounds and given up and regained those 20 pounds, only to restart a month or two later and have to lose them again?" reality. Uber is absolutely right. The whole "I was completely out of control but have now clawed my way back onto plan and am back in kryptonite mode for at least a little bit" might be a bigger victory than actually making it to Onederland. And now I'm going to ban myself from the use of quotation marks. Being on plan doesn't give me carte blanche to totally abuse the English language.

    Love you all! Have a fantastic day!
  • Hi Everybody,

    So today is the day that I'm officially moving my ticker down into the 240s. I weighed in at 249.2 before bed and 248.8 when I woke up. I could still bounce, but I think that when I get a nighttime weigh-in in the 240s, I'm good to go.

    So for those of you who are following my struggle to lose weight without sticking strictly to "diet foods..." Day before yesterday, I made turkey burgers for dinner. I also had 3 brats in the fridge that I thought were going to go bad, so I cooked them. I thought the boys would gobble them up, but everyone stuck with the turkey burgers, I thought about eating half a link but thought to myself "no, everyone only ate the burger, that's enough for me too," and I put them in the fridge. Yesterday for lunch, I microwaved one and ate it on a bun with mustard and sauerkraut. It was DELICIOUS. Yesterday for dinner, I ate pasta with sauce. It was DELICIOUS. Both of those meals would have been off limits on my previous plan. Last night, I was a little hungry and when I toted up my calories, I realized that NO WONDER as I hadn't actually hit my 1200 calories (1 brat 240, 1 bun, 140, 3 oz thin spaghetti (dry) 300. 1/2 cup sauce, 90.) The thing is, I was totally satisfied by the one greasy brat on bun-- and I won't be craving it anymore... before, I would have passed it by, but kept thinking about it and wanting it long after (and probably eventually gone to the store, bought a pack and eaten three in one sitting!!!) I HOPE that I'm right and that learning to manage all kinds of foods will help me out more in the long run. Since I only drink coffee and milk for breakfast and I never snack, I'm really surprised what I can do with 1200 calories.

    Toasted You have my utmost sympathy regarding trying to work out in the morning. I'm not a morning person at all, and while I have to start my day fairly early, it's like I'm set at a lower speed until about 10 am. I've always marveled at the people who get up early to workout, but I've always known that I could never be one of them. I remember you said your schedule was changing, but is there any way that you can do a late night workout instead? I'm assuming you already ruled that out. I'm always the person who closes up the gym at night. Most people can't stand the idea of working out after 9 pm, but that's the only time I can reliably talk myself into it. Sorry if that won't work-- if not, then maybe a lunch break workout would fit? On the other hand, we are adaptable and so maybe if a night person slogs through a morning workout a few times the body starts to readjust-- that is entirely possible, and so worth it to see.

    Jessica Word nerds unite! I love nothing in a man like a good vocabulary! I love hearing so many good things going on for you! I know you've earned them the hard way!

    Miss Loud Welcome to our little group. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm really impressed that you are honoring the loss by doing something positive. What a beautiful tribute. This is a great group of supportive people!

    Laurie I've never specifically mentioned it to you, but I really do feel for you about your kids. People who know me always assume that I'm tough and non-sentimental. I've always been a feminist and super-career oriented. But, when it came to my kids, their comings and goings just tear me apart. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to have them away in another country, but I also understand that sometimes we have to accept situations that we never would have envisioned and yet somehow they work out okay.

    Hello to Diane, Mandy, and Lotus

    Also, just want to say that nobody should feel like they can't stop in and post if they don't have time for personals. I'm lucky that my schedule is pretty flexible and I type fast, but I very much enjoy hearing from people whether they have time to post personals or not-- sometimes the tiniest things can get me thinking all day. You guys are the best.