[FeraFilia]

I just unpacked my last tub of clothing.

And it helped me focus on my goal. The bottom half of it was my "wishful thinking" clothes.

Sexy night gowns, jeans that are too small, dresses that don't fit. Things that would be awesome to wear if I could just get small enough to fit into them. Some of them still have price tags on them because I ordered them online then was too embarrassed to send them back.

On that note, I'm going to finish my list, and be back here tomorrow with another one.

X - 1) Set up online banking stuff for my new account
X - 2) Set up the TV/DVD player so I can do fitness videos
X - 3) Come here and ramble and post if I feel like eating the kitchen
X - 4) Head out to the vet's office and pick up the cat's prescription food
X - 5) Go to the bank to deposit hubby's paycheck
X - 6) Update addresses for various accounts
X - 7) Actually DO a fitness video
X - 8) Cook dinner, eat dinner, and enjoy dinner... but no snacking afterward.
O - 9) Put my booty in bed by midnight, and get some decent sleep.
X - 10) In between it all, do some laundry.

X = Done
P = In Progress
O = Not done

[ubergirl]

Hi everybody,

Just checking in to say that I had a good on plan day with no more "chips" incidents!

[LaurieDawn]

Good morning, everyone!

Uber - I read that article you posted about wiring your brain for happiness. I think I've read similar things before, but I really needed to see it right now.

Mandy - I love that you put up your list here and totally knocked it out. I also love that your life consists of more than just weight loss. Hope your Day 1 went well.

218.2. Down 1.4 from yesterday. Had a pretty on plan day yesterday. It wasn't perfect, but it doesn't need to be. I have a work-related dinner this evening, so I am going to restrict my calories during the day and try to approach the dinner reasonably this evening.

Here's to a great on-plan day, everyone!

[jenjenangel027]

Mandy...great job on your on plan and productive day! I love love lists! I feel like it helps me get so much more done!

Uber...Yay for on plan! I know I feel so much better when I eat on plan, sometime I actually don't even want my reward meal because I know how it makes me feel!

Laurie...great job and I am glad you are hanging in there! You will get this because you have proved to stick around and stick it out!

Me...well blah....I just feel blah today! I am really struggling with my almost 18 year old step daughter. she has been difficult every since we gained custody when she was 13. Lying, stealing, boys, anger, and playing victim. She threatened to kill herself and me when her dad was deployed and ended up being committed for almost a month. So we have put her through extensive counseling and now its almost like its no different still lying, still anger, still playing victim. She told me she likes to talk bad about people because it makes her feel better and she loves to make herself look like she has it bad because of the attention she receives from it. I am literally to the point of throwing up my hands. She is graduating early and her plan is to move out which I am hoping is the case. I cannot even leave her with the little's because she has hurt them a couple times

Anyways I am sorry I had to get it out. My husband is not here on the week days so he does a lot of listening to me and just doesn't know what to do. It's just stressful and I know life goes on but worrying about everyone around her and her is just a lot right now when I am really trying to focus on me for once!

[Slashnl]

Hi all!
Whew. Busy freaking day yesterday. It should be slightly better today, but my 2 coworkers are going to be out all week, so lots of work and few bodies here. Oh well. I had to laugh at this one guy I work with. He saw me drinking an energy drink yesterday, one of those Xyience drinks. It is 0 calories, and slightly better than some of the other energy drinks. I drink it solely for the caffeine. I started it just on Saturdays when I didn't want to drink coffee before working out, but I also couldn't find anywhere to go that had reasonably priced coffee that tastes good at 11:00. But I need caffeine or I get headaches, so I found these drinks. Well, I like them a little too much. I tried one at work one day in the afternoon and loved how I felt, so trying to keep the addiction under control. Anyway, he was shocked that I was drinking it. He said that he hadn't seen me drink anything but water for so long, he was surprised. I felt kind of guilty because I know they aren't healthy drinks, so I'm going to cut back to drinking just one on Saturdays. So, he shamed me into trying to be healthier. Not a bad thing at all!

Went to Body Pump today and the instructor told me that she thinks my form is much better now with squats and lunges. I've been working on it, and it was good to hear that. It is definitely harder to do it the right way, but I'm glad she pointed it out in the first place.

Jenni: Ugh. That's too bad about your step daughter. It's hard enough dealing with their dramas and issues, but when they take it to that level, it is just too much of a burden. It is so hard to try to keep going for yourself when you have that much of a drain on your mind!

LaurieDawn: Glad to hear that you saw another loss! That's great news! Chicken fajitas are awesome! That's what we're having tonight. yum!

Mandy: Well done on the list! That's a good idea to keep it on here. How nice to see all of them that were done!!! And, you'll be wearing those clothes soon, I am sure of it!

Jessica: Nice loss!!!

Uber: Yeah, sometimes it is hard to break out of those rough days. But, I'm glad you came through! Just can't let them go on too long. We know we feel better when we're on track!

[jenjenangel027]

Diane...somehow I thought I responded to you....I have lost my mind..LOL...anyway yes I think the 230's have a clench on me too! I know it will eventually go as it always does...I just hate when they have a hold that is so tight! You are doing amazing! And yes it is hard sometimes I don't even want to be in the same house...and I hate admitting to this stuff because I feel so bad

[LaurieDawn]

Jenni - Blended families are super hard. So sorry about your 18yo. My 17yo has mental health issues, too, and sometimes, I just don't know how to react either. You are there, and you support her and help her, and hopefully, she'll move out and learn to appreciate it. Or it might take her years to appreciate you. =/ Either way, it would be nice to have less drama in your house.

Diane - It's pretty impressive that all he ever sees you drink is water. That's an accomplishment in itself. I read what you wrote, and thought, "Perfection is the enemy of the good." I think, since we're doing this for life, it's important to avoid the perfection trap, especially because there's so much conflicting nutrition science out there. But if it's genuinely morphing into a problem, good on you for getting it sorted out early. You're amazing. I hope that's what you thought when you saw your reflection this morning.

I feel all on-plannish today. Like, relatively effortlessly so. Not white-knuckle. Not virtuous. Just - This is how I eat because being healthy and smaller is important to me. Still need to be vigilant with after work stuff, but for today, life is feeling about right. Even though my husband is freaking out a little bit about my kids "taking over his house." He knows he's being unreasonable, but I feel for him. I love his kids, but sometimes they drive me nuts. Heck, even my own kids drive me nuts sometimes. And just for kid things, like neglecting to throw away a wrapper. Not for the serious things you're currently dealing with, Jenni.

[jenjenangel027]

Laurie...yes ....blended families are SO hard I get that. My son has Asberger's or as they now call it high spectrum Autism. And I also get the little things. I can't remember how many kids you said you have in the house....but I always tell my kids if everyone left their stuff around this house would look like a hoarder house. I do have strict cleaning rules ....but I feel like if you do it and keep your school work up and have a good attitude well life would be so much easier and we would all get along....I hope you are right I hope she does learn and not sit in her misery because everyday I try my hardest to choose joy and that is the best thing in the world

[FeraFilia]

Good afternoon all! Brace yourself. Wall of text coming.

Laurie - I'm glad you like my imagery, hooker! I'm glad you're having a 'normal' day... Those are the best days. The ones where staying on plan is easy and effortless and makes you wonder a bit why you felt like it was so hard in the first place. LOVE those days. Hoping I can get back to those soon. Today I feel like some kind of ravening beast stomping around going HEY IS THAT EDIBLE? YES? NOMNOMNOM. Ugh. I've kept it at bay for now, trying to get another hour in before I eat. I don't even feel hungry... no belly cramps, no feeling light headed. I just want to EAT. Because there's food. And because I'm home alone for a while. Hubby is home a lot during the day because his office is in the house, so I see him and it helps me stay focused. Kinda weird, but when he's out, I feel like I can be sneaky with the food and I have to really work hard not to eat just because nobody can see me. Leftover mental issues from growing up. I could never eat without some family member commenting about my weight, so it led me to hoarding snacks then binge eating in my room in the middle of the night.

Uber - YAY for on-plan days with no "chips" incidents! (Does that really refer to snacking on chips or is that a metaphor I'm unaware of? I missed so much the last couple weeks!)

Jenni - I have no way of relating to you, as I have no children or step children, let alone children with mental health issues such as your step daughter but I really hope you and your husband can work something out with her to everyone's satisfaction. Maybe her moving out will be the best for all involved, especially if she's messing with the younger kiddos.

Diane - I used to be so hooked on energy drinks. But I was hooked on the really bad ones. I was drinking Monster. Every day. 2-3 cans. Plus Mountain Dew, and coffee. It's no wonder I gained a lot of weight... but it is a wonder my heart didn't explode right out of my chest. The withdrawal from caffeine was the hardest, but I managed it, and am now content with 1-2 cups of coffee in the morning. Going off of caffeine for a year did WONDERS for my ability to sleep at night and I can now get a decent jolt from a single cup or a sugar-free energy drink mix (like crystal light) but oooh man those headaches at first, they were killer.

And for me...

Looks like it's gonna be another make a list and post like crazy day. I was going to wait until Friday to weigh, just to keep myself from getting discouraged. But I couldn't wait, I HAD to know, and it looks like my determination yesterday paid off, because the scale said 289.2 instead of anything in the 290s, which is great, because I'm so happy to be out of the 290s and I don't want to see it on the scale anymore.

I only got in about half of my exercise video yesterday, because my left leg (ankle, knee and hip!) all started bothering me and I think it's because when I did that 5k walk on Saturday, my right ankle (the one with the partially torn ligament) was flaring up, so I definitely over compensated with my left leg and now it's protesting. If my legs are cooperating this evening, I'll try it again.

Food wise, I think I did okay. I definitely didn't do what I set out to do, but I did manage to keep calories fairly low for me (1400)... I did cave and eat half of a bakery fresh brownie with peanut butter frosting, but the important thing here is I hate HALF, and gave the rest to my husband! I used a Walmart bakery calorie estimate for the brownie, so I hope I was close!

I wrote my list out last night, and got some of it done already! YAY!

Goals for today:

Health/Fitness/Weight loss:
X - 1) 6 bottles of water or more today (16.9oz, I refill them from a Pur pitcher)
X - 2) Plan out food, including treats, don't deviate.
0 - 3) Attempt a workout video
X - 4) Bed by midnight

Life/Chores/Moving in:
X - 1) Fold/hang clean laundry
X - 2) Pay final electricity bill from SC
X - 3) Unpack Tastefully Simple boxes
X - 4) Make up the guest bedroom & hang window dressings
X - 5) Bring empty storage tubs/boxes to basement
X - 6) Bring utility shelves to basement
X - 7) Bring bags of stuffed animals to basement
X - 8) Bring all boxes of books to guest room closet
X - 9) Unpack last box in the bedroom
X - 10) Spend an hour or two, uninterrupted, with the hubby.

X = Done
P = In progress
0 = Not done

My goals are going to have me going up and down the stairs a bunch, as well as carting some heavy things around. That should help with calorie burn! And the last one might seem a little strange, but since he started with this church here, he's always getting a phone call or a text message or having to run over there and then there was the viewing/funeral and everything that went with it yesterday and over the weekend, so we're gonna have a bit of a date night, if I can arrange it! Dinner and a movie at home, sounds good.

Also, I'm really hoping to see that big ol' "starting over" water drop this week, as I intentionally focus on getting enough water, and limiting my sodium to below 1800mg/day

[ubergirl]

Mandy

Kinda weird, but when he's out, I feel like I can be sneaky with the food and I have to really work hard not to eat just because nobody can see me. Leftover mental issues from growing up. I could never eat without some family member commenting about my weight, so it led me to hoarding snacks then binge eating in my room in the middle of the night.

I just wanted to tell you that I really relate to this and it's so hard! I grew up in a house where my mom was SUPER controlling about food and I also developed a habit of eating in secret. The whole binge in secret thing has been so ingrained in me that I feel like I actually developed a stress management system based on it. I could eat the exact same thing in front of my family and it wouldn't feel so"bingey" but what I like to do is hole up with a food stash. There's something I find incredibly soothing about wolfing down candy or sweets when nobody can see me. I'm 53 years old and so obviously I am far past worrying about whether my mom is the food police, but the habit took on a life of its own. I keep it under control most of the time, but it's still a go-to move when I get really over-the-top stressed. My "chip incident" was me adding about 400 calories to both saturday and sunday by eating Ruffles.... usually I can just eat one or two, but this weekend there was no stopping me...

Laurie Don't you love those days when staying on plan seems so effortless? I have a lot of those days, and it's helpful to remember that even though some days are hard many others will be easy. Nothing more stressful than kid issues, and I'm sure it must be even harder in blended families. Those late teen early adult years are just especially challenging-- it's so hard to parent them when they are itching for independence, yet not fully independent, and often in the throes of making bad choices.

Jenni Good for you for having strict cleaning rules. I have a tendency to do all the work myself and let my kids off the hook. My mom never made me do anything either, but I'm sure getting my turn now with 3 kids and two parents under my roof.

Diane Your story about the energy drinks is interesting. I have such a tendency to get hooked on certain things-- for a while I used to get through every single day by chewing wads of Stride gum. I also love that people notice what a healthy lifestyle you have.


So, I'm doing okay over here. I saw 252 on the scale this morning, but stepped on it again and it said 253. I realized that I'm totally overdue for a whoosh and hopefully that whoosh will whoosh me straight out of the 250s which I'm entirely sick of. It has been horribly hot here and we don't have air so everyone has been irritable although for some reason it hasn't taken away my appetite, LOL.

[garnetrising]

Uber, fantastic! So happy you didn't have any more chip incidents. Keep up all your hard work and I know you're gonna get the whoosh soon.

Laurie, we all knew you could do it. Now to just string a few more days along until it becomes old hat again. Keep chuggin' cause you're going to get through the rest of the day just fine as long as you keep that mentality about why you're doing it in the forefront of your mind. Nothing is a better motivator than reminding yourself how much better you feel when you're living a healthy lifestyle.

Jenni, so sorry about your stepdaughter situation.

Diane, lol. I don't drink a lot of anything but water so on the rare occasions that I have coffee or a soda at work to combat exhaustion, I get similar responses.

Mandy, crossing things off lists is always crazy fun. I think that's part of the reason I like to keep so many on-going goal lists for the weight loss/health front. Every time I get to cross one off, it only renews my passion for getting healthy.


So I decided to give myself the 203 today. Because the scale doesn't weigh in tenths, I can't be 100% sure that it's not somewhere between 203 & 204, but I'm going to let myself embrace the 203 that I saw. A few tenths of a pound isn't something to let myself get hung up on. I've been working so hard and I deserve to be proud of myself. <3

Additionally, I've spent a lot of time going back and forth about what I want to update my New Year's goal to. Originally, my goal was Onederland. Clearly, I'm going to hit that before New Year's so I need to give myself something to keep working toward. It was weird thinking about it because I've never been this close 199 before to have to seriously consider what I want to work toward next. So I did the math and even if I only lose 1-lb a week, I can be down to 188 by New Years.... With that close, I decided that I'm going to aim for 185 - a weight that will take me out of "obese" and into an "overweight" bmi.

Here's to aiming for 185.

[FeraFilia]

I'm down here on my computer again.

Checking off my list, and reading lots of stuff because I want to be upstairs eating. I've got my food planned out, and it's plenty of food, and I WILL NOT allow myself to go off plan because I'm a little bit miserable. I hate these first days. They are insane. Gotta ignore the devil on my shoulder whispering in my ear that there's a brand new bag of sour cream and onion chips, not even opened, in the kitchen, and listen to the angel on the other shoulder telling me that my ankle seems to be doing well and that I should work on one of my fitness videos. UGH. That would be why there is an angel and a devil around my name in my siggy... one tells me to eat, the other tells me to workout.

The plumber has been here, and gone. He had to replace a seal on the toilet in the master bathroom because it was leaking all over the place. Now I just need to wait until it dries and scrub the heck out of it, because it only leaked when it flushed which kiiiiinda makes me feel like it's pee and poo water that's dripped in the basement (the unfinished side, not the super nice finished area where I'm sitting).

I've been up and down the stairs like 10 times today so far, carting things about. So hopefully that's doing something helpful to my system! I'm also halfway through my water goal for the day, and need to get going on the rest of them if I don't want to be up peeing all night. But since the plumber was here, I can just get out of bed, walk a few steps, sit down and pee... instead of getting out of bed walking down the hall, and then using the bathroom.

And since I am flooding you guys with completely unnecessary and unhelpful walls of text, I will leave you with a pretty picture of my kitties, and of the moon rising over my back yard after we first got here.

[jenjenangel027]

So weird thought I am sitting here wondering why does our bodies go through spells of dying hunger and other times I have to force myself to eat enough calories????

[FeraFilia]

Jenni - I think part of it depends on what kind of calories you're eating. Fiber/fat/protein all take longer to digest, and carbs are absorbed pretty quickly. High carb days are always hungry days for me, whereas high protein days seem to be more satiating. Also, I think another part of it is mental. Are you really hungry? Or are you bored/emotional/hormonal? Are you really not hungry? Or are you super focused on the next lower number on the scale? Big factors for me, both of them.

Uber - I know a lot of people on these forums can relate to that hoarding snacks and eating in secret... because, emotions. It's a poor relationship with food, and ever since I moved out on my own I've been trying to reconcile it with real life. It's no way to live feeling like every bite you eat in public is being judged, when in reality nobody really cares. They're too busy in their own world of insecurities to notice. Or, you know, too busy taking instagram pictures of their own food to worry about what's on your plate.

Jessica - I think that is a good goal. It's not *too* ambitious (read: not impossible), but it will definitely be a great way to bring in the new year! I'm still hoping I can hit 250 by New Years, but I will be super happy with 265. That's 25 pounds (ish) for me. It's 3.5 months... I think 40 is DOABLE, but not LIKELY. So I'll hope and pray and work hard, and see where I end up.

Annnd speaking of working hard... I got everything done on my list except the fitness video (boo!) plus some extra stuff I didn't plan on doing. This house is starting to look much more like home, rather than some building I happened to move into. I don't feel TOO bad about not doing the workout video. According to my FitBit, I climbed the stairs 14 times and where it syncs with MFP says I earned over 300 calories from exercise. I'm thinking I probably burned a little more since I was carrying boxes around, but I'm okay with where I ended up for today. Hopefully the scale will show me some love in the morning.

Bed time for me. Good night!

[martini]

Jessica - When reading about all of your triumphs, I started thinking about my own geographic cure approach. A lot of people say that changing your environment doesn't change your life because "where ever you go, there you are." I disagree. I've been in some pretty toxic environments and I always, always feel better when I leave them. Sometimes I've made bad choices and jumped from the pan to the fire. Sometimes I've made better choices and turned my life around. Either way, lessons are learned. I'm glad you're moving away from what sounds like has been a pretty bad phase in your life (and that bad, bad environment with your ex).

Tefrey - Water weight loss. Fat weight loss. As long as the number on the scale goes down it's all good!

Diane - That is so remarkable. When you talk about losing 20-ish pounds in a few months, that's one thing. To be able to be down 80lb by the end of the year, though, puts a completely different spin on things. That and getting on the horse so elegantly are pretty awesome.

Laurie - I am so proud of you. I don't mean that in any sort of condescending, hierarchical, Martini-stamp-of-approval sort of way. I just know the amount of work it takes (in your head and otherwise) to recognize you're binging, **not** hide when you're in the middle of the struggle (this is so huge), and then ease your way back to being on plan. I don't know if you have the sort of myopia I do when it comes to looking at myself, but omg you wonderful, courageous woman. I'll tell you in case you can't see it. You've done wonderful, wonderful things these past few days. It's remarkable stuff to witness and I am so happy for and proud of you.

Uber - Hey, Über! What's up? If you're cooking for 6 that means you've got 6+ people in your home. That's pretty intense. Yes, I say this as a single woman who lives alone, but still. That can't be easy even if you like the people you're with.

Mandy - I think there's a lot of wisdom in breaking things down to their simplest components. Listing the things that you need to do and then going through that list is pretty awesome. And educational. It's making me rethink how much I get done on my days.

Jenni - Oh, man. I wish I could give you a hug or a pat on the back or something. That situation at home sucks. There are no two ways about it. It sucks and it sounds like you could use some more support. I spent a lot of time around addicts and alcoholics and what you're describing sounds like a variation of some of the things I've encountered. I found a lot of help by going to AlAnon meetings. I don't know if something like that exists for her condition/issues, but you might consider poking around to see if you find something. It doesn't change the crazy person, but those things are amazing for giving you the tools to deal with these awful situations without losing your own mind.

I'm still fine. Still on plan. The magnesium I started taking for PMS still seems to keep me in balance this time of the month so food cravings aren't as much of an issue at the moment. But they are an issue. I'll look at eyeshadow swatches to distract myself. Nothing overcomes fried chicken fantasies like the search for a nice beige-y taupe.