I eat more now then I ever did...a lot more. I got heavy by eating all the wrong things. I ate all sugary, carbs, fried, processed, gooey, just plain crap food. My husband would always say I didn't eat enough to weigh so much. But, if you add up the calorie count of the crap I ate, you'd see why. I never, and I mean never, ate vegetables. And only ate fruit if it was in a pie. And all processed meat. Now I'll eat a salad big enough to feed a family and it only has 400 calories or less. And it'll have lots of different fresh veggies and a lean meat in it. Sometimes I'll just eat a huge plate of steamed veggies for dinner, yum!
I recently went back home for a week for a wedding and people freaked out about the big quantities of food I ate. They didn't see how I could eat so much and weigh so little. It's all about the calories. Tried to explain it, but most just got a glazed-over look in their eyes or they'd exclaim they'd never give up eating the 'good' foods. *sigh*
I got fat because I love food. According to my parents, I wasn't a picky baby who didn't like this or that. I liked all food as long as I got it fast and could go back to sucking my thumb pretty fast. I think that idea carried over to my childhood where I liked food a lot but also are it really fast. I have one older brother who was super skinny and we ate the same meals except I ate mine so fast that I didn't get a chance to realize I was full and was on a second helping wayyy before my brother had finished his first.
Secondary school didn't help either. I went to a strict all-girl school where you were more or less punished for being a slow eater and/or not finishing your school (yes even in Africa we get guilted about the "starving children in Africa who would love our food"): whomever on the table finished eating last had to clear the lunch table and wipe it down afterwards so we all shoveled our food down. I think this is one of the main reasons I was fat: eating too much food, too fast.
For me, I was obese even living at home eating wholesome, good food. We rarely to never had fast food, we only drank soda on special occasions like birthdays, practically everything we are was homemade from fresh ingredients and would be considered "whole food" if a little carb-heavy (we eat more carb than protein here unlike on America where y'all say "Meat and Potatoes," here that focus on meat as the main component of the dish would be weird and excessive and instead it would be "Rice and Chicken." However, note that the local diet was intended for active men and women who worked the farms or hunted or fished or travelled miles with babies on their backs to search for water. It wasn't intended for a young girl who went everywhere by car or bus, and sat in her room curled up reading a book or dreaming or chatting on the phone with friends. Reason #2 I got fat.
Some of my high school happened in boarding school in Europe and I lost weight there mostly because 1.) I didn't really understand the food, 2.) Second helpings were seen as uncool, 3.) None of my friends ate much so there was that peer pressure since we lived in a pretty isolated boarding school campus, there wasn't much opportunity to eat or hoard non-school food. I lost weight but was maybe still on the overweight-obese cusp because sometimes I would eat off my friends' plates. College was my first time in charge of my own eating and it was a disaster! I gained the freshman 30 and then followed it up with the Sophomore 50. I had moved to America and it was like all of my favourite things just combined and I would eat so fast and so much I would feel sick. I think I'm an emotional eater- so if I was happy, sad, stressed, homesick, afraid, upset, whatever emotion I would eat. Sophomore year was particularly difficult for me emotionally- this the 50 lbs.
Eating for me is also social. This is another reason why I'm fat. Reason number 4 or 5 now I think. I like food, and I like to hang out with people who also like food. I don't like to work out with people or necessarily of out on walks or go shopping with friends. Those are things I like to do myself. I don't really like bars or the club and I'm not one to linger over drinks. All my best social memories involve elaborate meals either at a nice restaurant or at a kitchen table with friends gossiping and laughing. This means that most times when I'm hanging out with friends, delicious food (usually in vast quantities) will be involved. This doesn't mean my friends are overweight or obese also, they're not. I watch them and they seem to have a control I don't that let's them stop when they feel full whereas my own control is broken. I may feel full, I may recognize I feel full, I may even consciously tell myself to stop and yet I don't.
So yeah basically, for me those are the reasons why I'm fat. Thanks for the topic ubergirl. I was on a long vacation across America in May and June and I've gained a lot of weight. I think this has been a useful exercise to identify where I'm going wrong to get back on the wagon.
I watch them and they seem to have a control I don't that let's them stop when they feel full whereas my own control is broken. I may feel full, I may recognize I feel full, I may even consciously tell myself to stop and yet I don't.
YES! Where do I sign up for this? Learning to throw away food was probably my single most helpful lesson the first time I lost large quantities of weight because I lack that control. I would feel bloated and sick, yet reach for the next cookie in the box until every cookie was gone. I have never stopped doing it. When I am on plan, I just avoid ever having a box of cookies in my hand. But if the cookies (or whatever) are introduced into my environment, and I am feeling the very typical desire to consume all of them, I throw them away if at all possible. (People at work don't look kindly to me throwing away the entire box of donuts in the breakroom, but if it's past 5:00 and I'm the only one still there, I have still been known to do it.) I just acknowledge that they will be wasted either way. I also occasionally will really crave something, and won't be able to find it in a very small portion size. So, I will buy a candy bar, for example, with the full knowledge that I will only be eating a bite or two before throwing it away. I often wish I was able to store it for another craving occasion, but I know that if I have it, I will eventually eat it. And by eventually, I mean within the next hour or two.
I ate all sugary, carbs, fried, processed, gooey, just plain crap food. My husband would always say I didn't eat enough to weigh so much. But, if you add up the calorie count of the crap I ate, you'd see why. I never, and I mean never, ate vegetables.
This!^ just a few weeks ago I printed out my food diary for my husband that had the calorie count at the end of it. He looked at it and said..."This is all you ate today?" And I said "Yep, but look at the calories." I'd had a very light lunch and breakfast and two slices of lasagna and I was at my calorie limit for the day. With only water to drink. Seriously.
I am coming to the realization that most of my diets have failed because of restriction issues. I figured I'd eat what I want and just restrict portion sizes. Which works for some people but not for me. I think back on my food intake for a given day on the "portioning" diet and feel cheated and so would say what another glass of high fructose fruit juice going to matter. It does matter. If I had just one salad a day I thought I was getting enough veggies. And maybe I was vitamin wise but filling my tummy wise --- no. Even at two salads a day I feel restricted even though I am not because I still don't look at salads or veggies or fruit as "yummy" or "delicious" and just as a "have to do this" measure. I really have to change my relationship with food.
Actually, there is a big love of food in me. I am the child of 2 cooks, so it might be genetic.
but "love of food" doent equal "overweight". I have been a foodie all my life but went overweight only during the last years. the reasons are explained in my introduction.
I still love food, but I re-learn the ways of loving it like back then, and I re-learn my level of activity from back then.
there are some intersting differences between me back then and me recently. some mentioned it already:
throwing out food: I wouldnt do that anymore. Before I had no bad feelings throwing out stuff I disliked and never buying it again. being a foodie ment for me to reach for stuff I really liked and not feeling bad throwing stuff away. being sick, having cancer and all that schmonz started me thinking too much about people that have a bad life and cant afford foods and all that spiral that ended up with me "yesterday"
I also would not stop eating. I would have a plate, if it was full I would eat it all. even if my stomach hurt from all the food. I havent been like that before either. Id not load my plate and I would not eat it all if I was full. being a tiny cute woman I always found someone to finish that plate for me if I ever overloaded
I think most of my weight is for psychological reasons though. being LONELY I turned to food to help me cope with my crisises. As I said I have been a foodie all my life. I love recipies, I love freelance cooking, I love all tastes, I love composing with food. In my medieval club I even became known for cooking good feasts (where before I was known for being a good swordfighter, but due to health I had to stop doing that... so I turned to the next thing I knew best: food). Thge absurd thing: If I was to cook a feast I was taking in about 1000 calories in total during 3 days preparing all the courses. I tasted spoonfuls of the food I prepared and that was all. I ate way less preparing these than the ones that ate them took in.
But there was experimenting at home. Not only on medieval, also on asian and japanese kitchen... that would lead too far...
but the food I prepared gradually went from lean and naturally tasty to more carby, more fatty stuff. Id prepare someting for 6 people and eat it in 2 sessions.
when I was worried about something I would open my fridge and see if I can find answers there. and they WERE there! All the food I could cook to distract me from worries!
Loading the plate with them!
Eating a 3 peoples worth of them in one go...
shopping for all the good stuff and cooking it!
I would have made a very awesome and healthy cook for a family of 4-6, but not for a single woman....
Eating the other 3 peoples worth of it in another go cause I had cooked someone else in between and didnt want my yummy experiments to go bad and I didnt want to throw anything away....
For a foodie like me all these tastes were awesome! I was never a junk food girl, never a processed food girl. I cooked and tasted my own curious way to the weight I am now.
the last about 50 pounds I gained were simply purpose. I was told I might die, so I tasted every food I wanted to and could get - always the slogan "before I die" (other people like me might have other slogans but it boils down to one thing: cooking for 6 aint good for a single!)
I didnt die. It is time to take my foodie qualities, all that experimental bone I have, tame them and use them for my own good. and I think I can
Foodies do not have to be overweight. And a love of food does not mean you have to overeat it.
Sugar and carbs are like drugs for me. I've battled depression since I went through puberty. I inherited a lot of hormonal imbalance issues. Sugar makes me feel better. It's short lived, but it was a coping mechanism I learned from my Mom who also battled depression. When I had my hysterectomy and quit smoking in 2005, well.....over 100lbs later, I've still not learned a better way of coping with stress.
I misuse food. I use it for emotional purposes (bored, upset, angry, sad)
I've noticed with my step son over the past four years that I've known him that even as a small child he would eat until he's satisfied and then...be satisfied.
Even if his dad would suggest ice cream after dinner, he would say no. He doesn't like feeling full and uncomfortable.
Also he never rewards himself with food. If he wants a snack he takes a banana or an apple. He has a really simple relationship with food. He eats until he's full, he has treats when he's allowed but he doesn't go crazy.
I weighed 145-150 for most of my life, so I am now about 40-50 pounds "overweight." I got like this in my 30's for a number of reasons - stress of starting a business and being in an unsatisfactory relationship, eating to cope with uncomfortable feelings of those things, anxiety which made me loathe to leave the house (or leave the chair I would plop myself in to lose myself in internet message boards all evening, getting up only to eat, so I could have the comfort of interacting with strangers instead of with the people in my life.)
My insides are so much different now, and so is my life, but since I'm in my 40's getting the weight off is very very difficult - the amount I need to eat to lose it is far less than when I had 10 pounds to lose in my 20's. I mostly focus on fitness now, and eating like a "normal" person without worrying about the scale too much.
There is no secret, no blame erasing complexity in my case.
I was raised to eat large portions, and not allowed to play organized sports. This put me 10 or 20lbs over ideal weight at high school graduation.
I managed to stay only 10-20lbs overweight until I met my husband. I was 160 for a long time. Then, takeout combined with overly large portions, soda, cocktails, slacking off gym visits and 2 pregnancies all put about 10lbs on me each. I wound up at a high of 215.
I don't doubt that a certain percentage of obese women have contributing circumstances that are close to impossible to address alone. But different experts have different views - the only one that no one makes money off of is the simplest, that we probably ate even just 10 or 20% too much for years, got used to looking at our peers gaining the same weight, and lead lives that are perfectly livable fat and sedentary.
I got fat eating junk food and not working out. I don't know if I ate more volume than the average skinny girl, but I know I ate tons more calories. One meal at McDonalds or Qdoba is an entire day's worth of calories.
I started to get fat because I learned to cook and loved to bake. I ate with my kids, lots of cakes and pies, mashed taters and gravy. Well, also throw a bunch of pregnancies and losses in there and that is where my first 50 pounds or so came from.
After that I had emotional stress and started to binge. The binge eating shot me from 200ish to 280 in a few years. And I was binge eating all the worst possible foods: pizza rolls, candy bars, McDonalds.
But what is most interesting to me is after I dropped over 100 pounds I have gained a lot of it back. And I did not get fat, this time, by binge eating, or by baking (I stopped both). I also did not get fat this time eating fast food, brownies, and junk every day (I stopped fast food and brownies and tried to limit the junk). I got fat this time around by eating too much for my slowed metabolism... and by having thyroid disease. It made no sense to me to NOT be losing on 1300-1400 calories a day, and even when I cut back to 1000 I was losing 2 pounds a month.
Got the thyroid addressed and the weight has started to come off.
So, I think sometimes if you look at your intake, I mean truly look and study, measure and count, and it doesn't 'add up' (literally), then it may be time to talk to your Dr. My TSH was normal but my other thyroid numbers were not.
When it comes 2 dew or dye, U have 2 rise above thee rest!!!
I think part of my weight gain, in my 40's was biological(mid age spread)
I think part of my weight gain was chemical (cheap menstrual regulation prescriptions)
I think part of my weight gain was emotional. I seemed to gain the most during the year where I lost a lot of friends, heard a lot of bad news about old friends, and experienced trauma-like being run over by a car, and being out in the dark for way too long before 911 finally responded. That was only after the man who hit me let me borrow his cell so I could re-dial myself 911.
Then I was so badly bruised on my toes that by the time I got home from ER,I thought I was going to lose them.I had gone to a trauma ctr which failed to even scan me for a full diagnostic eval of my injuries.They ignored the bruised ribs,jaw that was thrust up so quickly before knocking out my teeth that I thought my head was going to be decapitated via my brittle bones being slammed to the street that I hit so hard. And lastly, my teeth were shifted and jarred as well, but that too was ignored.
I think an attorney paid them to,"Do as little as possible." Bauhaus style I suppose??? I felt so patronized that I think I felt really small, and Insignificant from that day on in the ER.
Then I got hired for a job that I loved doing until my manager began emotionally scrutinizing petty little issues, that got me very frustrated. She even told me that the only reason she hired me was because of a mutual friend that she also knew. Well, after that my feelings for her went down hill. I never looked at her the same. She even smoked in front of the minors there, and ate non stop at her big desk.
So, I guess I had a poor role model who I was really not too thrilled with.She was the manager over me,("A closet Dominatrix--and I, her, "Kept Fem").. Also the shift that I worked messed up my circadian cycle. This too led to other problems like disordered eating both via frustration over being,"Hen Pecked" constantly, and from the mucked up sleep cycle.
When I was awake I didn't feel hungry for "Normal" meals, and when I was supposed to be dormant and resting, I found a bad habit with food developing.
I began to acclimate myself with eating a few hours into a sleep cycle. Then when I later tried sleeping the traditional 10-6 sleep hours, I would end up awakening in the middle of my sleep, and binge eating. Now,a lot of disordered eating habits continue to haunt me. As this bad habit still haunts me intermittently at times, especially while under stress, or emotional duress...
Then I finally said NO and stepped down from my role and decided I just didn't feel comfortable knowing I was hired overtly via cronYism and nepotism.
I admit that I may not have graduated from 1 of the top universities, but I am a local and that's OK with me. I enjoyed the colleges which I attended here in my local community.
I am also a 1st generation college graduate, and I worked my way through college. I began working while attending school as soon as I was of legal age to do so(16.0yrs of age), and I have no regrets either.
I very much enjoyed the challenge of attending H.S. while working, and trying to balance everything. Like I said, it was a ,"Challenge" but I lived to talk about it?
Earning a college degree meant something to me. I had no mentors in our family, my parents graduated from,"The School of Hard Knox!"
I never received any special parental guidance when it came to school. I was motivated by sheer example. I worked hard so I would have choices as a young lady in society, and in the career whirled. My mother worked hard as a home maker, and dad for a local cemetery.
He grew up on a farm in Europe so he loved his job as a Greens Keeper-Mausoleum Weekend Security(which I got to help out with every Sunday as a tweenager, and I loved that place too.).
I may not have been one of the hand picked, fresh choices, from a Top 10 College. However; I thought, initially that I was hired because I had worked hard in school. I had graduated with a 3.9 GPA from graduate school, and had also worked in a variety of vocationally related jobs.
I was extra disappointed to hear this unprofessional truth from an "Authority Figure" sitting right in front of me stuffing her face and gloating over how I really got my job there. I think she really wanted to replace me with someone who had taken some time off for illness; however I would have appreciated the truth before I was hired.......
I was bored and blue following the loss of my F/T job that I had dedicated myself to totally. And, if it hadn't been for all the negatives that I had just mentioned, I never would have quit either. But, I felt that in order to keep face, I had to run like a white rabbit, and never return.
Then later I reddux.....And that was what I did after. I had time to recover. I swam and joined a gym, and lost 65 lbs. But now I am just trying to lose at least 20 for I regained some weight over the last couple of years dealing with the stress(again stress) of my parents illnesses. But I am trying to recover and to, "Go On." Like Celine Dion in The Titanic...(Lovely Movie).
Last edited by 1Bluerose68; 03-11-2015 at 12:30 AM.
My weight gain was a mixed bag. I was a very healthy weight until I was 28, at which point despite still leading a very active life and eating a healthy diet I began to put on 10 lbs a year. My doctor told me to join Weight Watchers. 9 years, and 90 lbs, later a new doctor discovered I had Hashimotos Thyroiditis. Of course, at that point with an extra 90 lbs, I'm not moving as much as I used to. So I gained weight due to a thyroid imbalance, but even after getting treatment it's really, really hard to lose weight. And I'm in my 40's now, so I also don't lose weight as easy as I did in my 20's. Diet is really important now...not only do I have to reduce calories, but also need to keep my carbs low.
