Alright y'all...

I just looked at August and was like NO WONDER I'M STRESSED.

This is how it looks on paper:

August 1-4 - Traveling for meet and greet and vote.

August 5-15 - packing up the non-essentials

August 16-25 - Spending a week plus with the in-laws for visits before moving and (hopefully) ordination.

August 26 - ?? - Packing the rest of the things and moving.

Have to get the cats in to the vet for shots, too. But that shouldn't be *too* bad, the earlier the better. Hoping to get them in the week after we get back from the interview/vote.

So weight loss might get shoved down on the list a bit this month (I'll do my best, but so much traveling and meals prepared by others...) but I'll totally be back to it once we settle at the beginning of September!

Mandy: Hang in there! It might end up being a pretty busy month for you but any time you need a moment to decompress or just a little moral support, we'll be here. <3

I was midway through a long post this morning, when -- BUZZAH! -- my computer went down. So, trying again.

Life is better today. Thanks to everyone for your unflagging support. Life is tough, and weight loss/weight control complicates things.

Mandy - So sorry for your anxiety. A suggestion, and actually the way that I'm dealing with my frustrating relationship anxiety. Embrace the worst case scenario. The vote doesn't go your way, you move in with your very-proper-but-very-nice in-laws and revisit your career strategy. No one's dying or starving or homeless. Ain't nobody wants to live with their mother-in-law, of course. ;-) But even if the completely unexpected happens, and the vote that is supposed to be a mere formality doesn't go your way, you will still have an adorable husband who loves you, continuing weight loss success, fabulous books to read, and a strong sense of kindness and wisdom.

Diane - You are a rock. I want to be just like you. =) Thanks for the support, and I'm excited to hear about your 5K plans. My knee is a little wonky, so I've backed off of my running a little bit, but have started cross-training on the advice of my runner friends. What you are doing now is absolutely preparing you for being able to run. I, too, really want to do a 5K.

Sunny - I love the "man, this day was so hard because . . . " followed by the "but I went to the gym and am getting back on my eating plan." Cuz, as re-gainers, we all know the answer really lies in not giving up.

1BlueRose - It's so nice to have you here!

Donna - Check you out! You kept so much of your weight off. That sounds like maintaining to me. =) Glad to have you here, and I am excited about the positivity you seem to exude.

Katie - IF is cool. And I bet your baby boy is adorable. Welcome!

Jessica - You are a planking superstar! Such great results, both in fitness and the scale. As you sort out all of the other pieces in your life, having such great success in this area has to make you even more confident that you'll figure out the rest. Thanks for relating to me. Your words mean a lot.

Martini - My challenge buddy and accurate psychoanalyzer. Glad to see you around and still posting. It makes me feel less alone in all of this.

LotusMama - I appreciate the fact that you can relate. Sometimes, I just feel so "abnormal," and I hate feeling like I am the only one in the world who feels so powerless over food.

Uber - I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU! That 260 marker seemed to be really messing with your head, in a way that 220 messes with mine. To leave it behind is a marvelous victory. And thanks for your words of wisdom. I have been trying the talking-in-third-person thing today. It's hard, but good.

I have FINALLY broken out of my funk. Things with the husband are better. I saw my therapist today, and I am slowly working out why it is I care so much about what he says. I am in a position where I am consistently criticized, and I so rarely care what people say about me. Him, though. <sigh>

I did step on the scale this morning finally. I am up a pound. But still have about six weeks left in my trainer boy challenge. I made not-great decisions for lunch, but will be within my calories today, and I have scheduled a 3-mile walk with a friend for this afternoon. I'm back, baby!

I think I have also decided to go 90% vegan. I was vegan for a couple of years back in the day, and I was thinner and felt better than at any other point in my life. But I also got very hungry, and I got tired of either being hungry or having to eat 12 times a day. But when I was thinking about it today, I realized that my "Twinkie diet" equivalent that I am doing now leaves me hungry most of the day. (By Twinkie diet, I mean: Frequently, I have only been eating once a day, trying to eat "normally" with the family, so I have been eating things like pizza and hamburgers, often with fattening sides and desserts.) So, I can handle the hunger thing when it comes up, and I have decided that I will simply provide enough fruit and veggies for the family so that I am eating with them, but not necessarily eating their high-cal foods.

So, there it is. My new declaration. I will be 90% vegan this week. I will continue to eat egg whites if I experience serious hunger, but will eat almost exclusively from the produce section of the grocery store. I will also eat one meal consisting of higher-cal foods.

So, if I'm going to join you, guess I should start with an introduction. Would love to read about each one of you as well.

I am married (26 years) to Michael. 2 children: Janeen is 24 and Jonathan is 14. Janeen is currently breaking my heart with her choices in life, and has decided to no longer communicate with her family. She is involved in something akin to a cult, that has her convinced that we are the enemy (not true) and that we're full of hate (also not true). We have told her while we do not like her choices we love her...always have and always will.

My son Jonathan is 14. Dx'd with autism at 2...then Type 1 Diabetes in Oct 2012 along with other auto immune disorders, including alopecia (he's lost all his hair) He was also severely assaulted by a peer a few years ago and carries scars from that experience.

So those are some of the reasons I have had trouble with continuing to lose weight. I've been rather overwhelmed with life.

But something has changed in me over the past few weeks to help me rethink things. Right now, I am walking in peace with an assurance that God has a plan for my kids, and loves them even more than I do. It's hard to explain, but it is real. I feel like His umbrella of protection is hovering over me. While my circumstances have not changed, my attitude and outlook has.

I had a heart cath/stint a few years ago, which was the catalyst for the change in the way I eat. I eat healthy, fruits, veggies, fish and chicken mainly. My vice is Coke Zero...I need to drink more water!!! And exercise begins next week!

I live in East Tennessee and LOVE it here! Mountains are gorgeous and the fall is on its way!

Blessings on you all!

Donna - Wow. So sorry to hear about your challenges with your kids. It's great that you're investing some time and energy into your own well-being, though, especially with the heart issues. Glad to have you, and your positive attitude, here.

Martini - WOOT! WOOT! WOOT! What a HUGE accomplishment to have finished your long-term work project. That's all kinds of awesome.

So, I am back to where I was 8 days ago. 228.8. And you know what? I'm going to be super happy about it. I am headed in the right direction again.

I also invested a good chunk of money into fresh fruits and veggies to last me for the next week. I put them in the fridge, went upstairs to take a shower, and came downstairs to see everyone eating them. <sigh> I'm happy that they are choosing healthy food. And I can buy some more, which never used to be the case. It just surprised me that they ate it immediately and in such quantity, almost to the point where I was concerned that there wouldn't be any left for me. Oh, the adjustment period continues. =) But no one complained about the smell of the food I was eating (as is the case for my tuna and chicken and egg whites), and I really enjoyed it. Maybe this will be my ticket to conflict-free eating finally.

Hey y'all.

As we get closer, I'm seeing that my husband isn't nervous, stressed, worried, anxious what have you... So I'm starting to relax a bit. Not much, but a bit. I'm still a wreck, and my stomach is still in knots, but I actually got some sleep last night!

And I guess I can claim this as an NSV of sorts... But I haven't been snacky as a way to relieve my stress and anxiety as has been my habit in the past. I've been more inclined to pace back and forth in my apartment or go for a walk (if it's evening and not 100 degrees outside) to help lower my anxiety levels. As a result I've hit over 4 miles 2 out of the last 3 days, and I usually don't get much higher than 3 miles in a day. I find that to be impressive because from front door to back door in my apartment is *maybe* 15 steps. Wearing a groove in the carpet with my pacing. BUT IT'S NOT EATING!

I've actually been pretty good with the eating, and I'm trying to learn portion control, and that I can fit some of the more decadent sweets into my day. Like gelato. I had some, weighed out to the gram on my food scale, 1 serving exactly... And it was wonderful.

Laurie - Good luck with your 90% vegan efforts. I love fruits and veggies, but I'd be a mess without meat and dairy. I have greek yogurt and eggs almost every day! And now you know your family will eat the fresh fruits and veggies, maybe you can start slowly switching them from empty calorie snacks to fresh produce. I'm sure that would be a big help for you later on.

Donna - I can only imagine what you are going through with your children! I'm so glad you've found comfort and peace in your faith in God, that's something I'm still having trouble with! It's so hard for me to "let go and let God"... But I'm a worrier. Always have been. And I LOVE east Tennessee. I'll be driving through tomorrow on my way to Indiana I-40W to I-75N... Through the mountains again... hopefully only 3 more trips through the mountains! Up for the vote, back here to pack and move, and then moving up.

Martini - Congrats on finishing your project! And I'll take all the good energy you're sending my way... I could use it. Thanks. :P

I hope you're all having a wonderful day!

Laurie: Welcome back to the road to glory! Best of luck getting back into your vegan menu. It would be really awesome if you can reap the benefits that you experienced the last time you ate vegan and have it improve the conflicts about your eating that you have been experiencing. Also, thank you and you're right. The progress I'm making toward my health and wellness is going a long way toward improving my self-confidence.

Donna: We all have that moment where we realize that something's got to give and it sounds like yours was an incredibly frightening one. I'm so sorry about the hardships you've had to endure but take a step towards caring for yourself can only help improve your mental and emotional strength as well.

Martini: Sounds like, as hard as things were earlier this week, they are improving by leaps and bounds as time progresses. Congrats on all the positives, especially completing your project and sticking to making the that weekly calorie intake average out. Speaking of, that's actually something that I've heard to be highly praised - varying your calories so significantly over the week while maintaining an average within your necessary range. I've never intentionally tried it, but I do find that there are some days that I just have to eat more in order to stave of the hunger monster. I've also noticed that with work and the walking, especially with the introduction of some running, the hunger monster is rearing its ugly head more and more. If I ever have the money, I swear I'm going to invest in a fitbit or something so that I can get a clearer picture of just how many calories I'm burning.

Mandy: Walking is such a wonderful way to relieve stress, even if you are burning up your carpet. Congrats on the food front. It's wonderful that you were able to enjoy your gelato and didn't beat yourself up about it, because it's not a bad thing. Everyone deserves to indulge and I bet the fact that you used your portion control made it taste all the better.


So. I’m sitting here, trying to find the words to express things. Work was a great distraction but I noticed on the way home that my bummed mood was coming back. The last few nights, in fact, there has been a lot of maudlin-ness I know can be directly attributed to feeling lonely. That loneliness can be an extremely dangerous thing for me. It can drive me into a deep, dark hole of depression that breaks my heart. Thankfully, it’s not quite beating me right now. I’ve found myself to be very somber but I’m not crying yet and that’s a big thing.

The emotional hasn’t been made any easier by the fact that the scale hasn’t moved since Monday. In a way, I guess that might have something to do with my general feeling of listlessness, too. I was slightly curious, I remember feeling this way late last week which is why I taped early on Saturday, so I looked into my weight records. I’ve noticed a pattern. I tend to weigh lowest on Monday. Tuesdays, my weigh-in day, I generally bounce up slightly from the low I saw – and choose not to record – on Monday. Then I hover for a very long few days. It usually isn’t until Friday that I see another drop and then it drops for a a few days and starts the cycle all over again.

I got a comment on my blog last night from a girl I used to follow back then the 3FC blogs where working. It was great to be able to reconnect with her. Even better was the fact that she was still in touch with a bunch of the other girls I blogged with. I find that 2014 really is turning into a year of re-connecting for me.

Typing it all out helped a little... I'm still somber but at least I'm not as melancholy as I was when I woke up.

Martini HOORAY for meeting deadlines! HOORAY for going off plan and then popping right back on!

DonnaWelcome! Good for you for keeping off some and glad to have you here.

Mandy Walking not snacking! That is really great! Times of upheaval can be really hard, but sometimes sticking with the food plan can actually be a source of comfort.

Laurie Glad you're feeling better and good luck with the 90% vegan plan! I feel like I've been 90% vegan myself lately because we have so many ripe veggies in our garden!

Jessica Glad that you are reconnecting with people. It does make it so much easier to stick with the plan!

Katie Welcome!

Was mildly tee'd off when I bounced back to 260 this morning... I know it's not a "real weight" but even so, I would like to see 255 or so, that way, I wouldn't have to see that dreaded 260 number EVER. My life drama free and all is well. Am leaving for vacation in less than a week and I'm starting to think about how to handle it best.

Okay. End of the month round up for me.

July start weight: 307.4
July end weight: 297.4

Loss of 10 pounds.

Also, inches wise... Across my 5 points of measure, I've lost 6.5 inches.

Congrats, Mandy! And I know that feeling of never wanting to see a specific number again, Uber. It won't be long now.

I love popping on to see all this good news.

Uber - So glad for your drama-free life. Sorry about re-visiting that horrible 260 number. Soon, though. Soon. Then, never again.

Mandy - Look at you. Stressful July. A plan that promotes long-term compliance but also slower losses. And you knocked it out with a 10-pound loss that puts you enough below 300 that you may never see it again. Congrats!

Jessica - As is obvious by my posts over the past week, I relate to your depression issues. So glad that you are using strategies -- like writing about your thoughts -- to deal with this challenge. And good on you for recognizing your patterns with the scale. That encourages sanity.

Just got back from the gym, and I realized - Dude! I am bad-*** at the gym. Trainer Boy was there, and I thought, "Why did you mention that you noticed me "looking better" when I was down about 20 pounds, but you don't seem to notice that I have started running as a warm-up? As in, instead of doing 5 minutes of walking for my cardio warm-up before I lift, today I did 2 minutes of walking while I did some light dynamic stretching, then ran at 4.9 mph for 2.5 minutes (okay, probably jogging at best, but I call it running!), followed by 30 seconds of running at 6.4 mph? Not impressive numbers for a lot of people, but impressive for me.

But my lifting is impressive. For example, I asked one gym owner how much weight I was pulling on my lat pull-downs (since the progressive levels were marked 1-12 rather than with the actual pounds), and he said, "Are you sure someone didn't reset that machine after you left?" When I said no, he again asked if I was sure. So, I sat down and did a set for him. He said, multiple times, "I have never seen a woman pull anywhere close to that weight." I have also had random Testosterone Boys (my name for the super-muscley male lifters) spontaneously compliment the weight I was using on various exercises. As I was doing lat pull-downs while Trainer Boy was working with another client, I started getting angry. I had told him that my primary goal in the gym was to become stronger and more functional, and even though I hadn't lost weight in the last year since joining the gym, I was clearly accomplishing my primary goal. And, in the long term, it's really more important to be fit than it is to be thin. I resolved to come write this ranty post as soon as I returned from the gym.

Then, as I was leaving, for the first time in the year since I've gone to that gym, Trainer Boy left his client to give me a fist bump and say, "Great workout." Maybe I should get mad at people more often. =)

Just a quick check in. It's been a busy day.....

Hope everyone is doing well. I'll be more conversational tomorrow.

Just popping in to make an observation about hunger vs. cravings.

I saw a thread about that a while back, and one person said something like "when you have a craving, you want a specific or type of food, but when you are really hungry, you'll eat anything...ask yourself if you want a carrot, and if the answer is no, it's probably a craving.." So tonight, I'm making dinner, and I'm REALLY hungry. I've been eating less protein lately because we have so many veggies from the garden! So, long story short, I'm slicing zucchini, and I find myself taking a big old bite of the raw zucchini-- then I said to myself, "Ok. That's hunger. When you'll plow into the raw zucchini!"

Hello everyone. I have been lurking for awhile...but I really love the support on this thread.

Let me introduce myself. My name is Jenni, I am 35, and have 6 kids in the house. My husband is in the Army and about to retire 25 years. We have lived a military life of moving every 2 years. We spent the last tour in South Korea for almost 2 years got back to the states in Feb. We decided to retire where I am from and bought a house. He is still up at Fort Lewis Washington and travels back every weekend. We got custody of my two step kids in when they were 13 and 12 who are now 16 and 17...on top of that my 15 year old is autistic...and my 3 little girls are all 3 years apart 5, 3, 2. I have struggled with weight every since a car accident 10 years ago and then having 3 little ones on top of living a military life blew things up. I am to the point where I know my children are my heart and I want to be healty and live a LONG life. I have been a stay at home mom but have my master's degree so I am applying my butt off to state jobs hoping I land one in time for my hubby to retire......but I am doing Chris Powells carb cycling program...and started 7/21 at 250 and weighed in at 240.5 this morning...so I want this yo yo life to be over and enjoy my kids and enjoy wanting to do things even if it is crawling into a bathing suit......thanks for listening!

Laurie: That's one of the reasons I think I find it so easy to track my all of my numbers regularly. Because some part of me on some level knows that deep down, when I'm having a hard time, looking back over the hard facts can reveal patterns that will help me better understand myself and my journey.

Your workout at the gym leaves me speechless in admiration. I'm so happy that you are giving yourself the credit you deserve from all of your awesome accomplishments. <3

Uber: I don't eat a lot of raw carrots. They and a few other things - like apples - can occasionally cause a very painful gas bubble in my chest. I had a cherry few months ago that had me knocked out and wanting to cry because my chest heart so much. I haven't checked recently to see if the problem has improved since I started taking some probiotics... But I'd rather plow through cooked vegetables anytime, assuming I want food at all, lol.

Jenni: Welcome to our group, we're glad to have you here!


I did six 0.375 mi laps with Luna yesterday and did a little bit of running probably four of those laps. I did the same with her today, though I did my spurts of running every other lap in order to not over-work my body today. While I started the 2.25 mi today in the same bummed mood I had half-way through yesterday's workout, I ended on in much more positive and supportive place today.