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-   -   How do/did you feel when people remark on your weight loss? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/296677-how-do-did-you-feel-when-people-remark-your-weight-loss.html)

belovedspirit 06-10-2014 10:35 AM

How do/did you feel when people remark on your weight loss?
I've been thinking recently about my reaction to others commenting on my weight loss, and my reaction to some folks not commenting at all. This has brought me to wonder how others feel about having your weight loss noticed. Is it something you enjoy others remarking upon? Has this changed as you lost more weight? Would you rather most people not comment at all? How do you navigate this potentially tricky territory with other folks in your life who have lost weight?

lotsakids 06-10-2014 11:10 AM

It used to make me uncomfortable but now I have to admit its kind of fun. I went to an event in May and a couple of people didn't recognise me. Heck I don't even recognise me sometimes!

There are a few who aren't very nice about it, but for the most part its been positive.

Pattience 06-10-2014 11:21 AM

Of course i like it. And i don't even mind that some people who know me have seen me go up and down a few times in recent years. No one's comments about my weight have ever upset me.

My sister was rather shocked last time she saw me as she said she had never seen me so big before. My mother said something fairly rude but she's always rude so get I annoyed but not really hurt or surprised.

I know a few people who's weight is always going up and down just like mine. I feel i understand more about what could be going on for them so sometimes i comment and sometimes i don't. One of my friends who is in a skinny phase is mainly doing it on the back of cigarettes which is actually a greater concern than her weight.

Anyway you can't really help what people say to you so if its not rude, just be glad of the positivity. And stay focused on your actual mission. The fact is that almost all of us start looking better when we lose weight.

my gp recently told me twice that being overweight doesn't suit me. I know that she's right so i'm not upset by the implication.

The thing is most people are happy for others when they see things going right and most people are sad for others when they see things going badly.

IanG 06-10-2014 11:28 AM

It depends on who, how and in what context. If I raise my weightloss in a discussion, of course I expect to discuss it. If someone has not seen me in a long time, I also expect them to raise it. Some comments have been positive (you look great, you must feel fantastic etc.) but also many negative (are you having an affair? are you anorexic? you will get fat again, what made you decide to lose weight? etc.) I find it more comfortable when a person talks to me one-on-one. Comments in front of a group are always a little embarassing to me. Comments in front of other heavy people are embarassing too. Comments made by heavy people can also be awkward.

What is strange, is that about a year in people are starting to forget what I looked like when I was heavier. This, in itself, is not a problem. But sometimes a little strange. It also means that people are starting to make fat jokes in front of me when they never did before. Which is worrying and shows a level of discrimination I was not that aware of as a heavier person. I am quick to remind them that I was once bigger.

Overall, it would probably be better if other people did not notice. But they do with the big losses and you just have to accept that. It's the biggest part of the mental game of weight loss. And weight loss is mostly a mental game for most of us, not a physical one.

nonameslob 06-10-2014 11:29 AM

So far I enjoy it :)

Everyone has been kind about it. No inquiries about what I'm doing, what diet I'm following, etc. Just that I have lost weight and look good. I think I'd be annoyed if people wanted tons of details, but I haven't had to face that yet. We'll see how this changes when I get to an adult weight I've never been before. So far I'm just back to the weight I was a few years ago and I've always been overweight.

TheSatinPumpkin 06-10-2014 01:11 PM

I'm still shy and they are aware that i am not much of a conversationalist but i don't want to be rude so i keep my response simple yet kind w/ "Thank you" or "Thank you for the compliment"

Gingerjv 06-10-2014 02:40 PM

I like to hear from others compliments about my weight) This is really pleasant! I am very open and friendly person. When i was very slim i did not like people who told me "you need to gain weight"((

Michou 06-10-2014 03:10 PM

To me it is the proof that what I do is not in vain, I know I am loosing weight but I am not a good judge about how my vody is transforming. If someone told me they thing I am gaining weight I might not welcome the comment but would have to take it as a cue to do something about it.

Novus 06-10-2014 03:24 PM

I have to confess I really enjoy it. And I especially love when people don't recognize me. :D

I'm the thinnest I've been since like 6th grade (I started gaining when I was 8 years old) so this is totally an all-new me and it's pretty shocking to a lot of people.

I usually respond with a simple, "Thank you for noticing." If they ask me how I've lost the weight, I answer something like, "I'm doing what works best for me....and that's something different for everyone."

ubergirl 06-10-2014 03:48 PM

Well, even though I am a regainer, my memory of what it felt like to lose 110 lbs is still fresh in my mind, and one thing that happened to me that was really interesting was that I started this huge chain reaction: slowly but surely as I started on my big project, more and more people looked at me and seemed to think "if she can do it, so can I." That was very gratifying.

But what happened to me was that I moved, and after the move, nobody in my new life had ever known me fat and that was extremely weird. As a formerly fat person, I felt as if I had a scarlet O on my forehead. So of course no one ever commented on my weight, and in fact, the fat people I worked with related to me very differently-- instead of I'm fat and you are getting thinner-- how did you do it? I got more of the awkward "I'm fat and your thin and you would never understand.... kind of thing." And if I said, "oh I used to be fat" that made it even worse, because they never believed me....

In short, while I used to sometimes feel like I was always the center of attention for my weight loss, it was worse for me psychologically to be around people who never knew what I had gone through. I lost the reinforcement I got from people always noticing.

Slashnl 06-11-2014 11:35 AM


Originally Posted by Novus (Post 5021202)
I usually respond with a simple, "Thank you for noticing." If they ask me how I've lost the weight, I answer something like, "I'm doing what works best for me....and that's something different for everyone."

I like this, so I'm stealing it, and maybe I can be less awkward about it. I am not comfortable with the attention, although I'm glad that people can see a difference. I enjoyed going to the gym and being anonymous, but I've had a few people comment about it, so I feel like I have to be a little more cognizant of those around me and to greet people more often. I work out early in the morning, so I'm not always perky....

Gotta be nice!

activeadventurer 06-12-2014 06:13 AM

Like Novus, I love it when people notice my weight loss, especially when they don't recognize me.

Yesterday, I saw my heart surgeon for the first time in a few years. It was so sweet. When he opened the door, I am pretty sure he thought he was in the wrong room. He just stood there looking at me. It wasn't until I greeted him by name that he entered the room. He tried to be nonchalant but every once in a while he would look at me and say that medically, I was a new person. The icing on the cake :), I now take NO prescription medications, down from about 11 when I was at my heaviest. This is more gratifying than any comment about my looks.!!!

Trazey34 06-12-2014 03:32 PM

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and realize people mean well but don't know how to express it sometimes LOL

I'm a funny person so I can make a joke out of anything -- like someone saying "Remember how HUGE you were? You were ENORMOUS, wow like the BIGGEST PERSON I ever knew" and I made a crack about "well they didn't have to take the side of my house off to get to me you know" and they got the point and said sorry LOL

I usually get a "how did you do it" and once they realize it wasn't a quick easy fix they get bored ha ha

I was in a car a while back, and a really heavy gal was struggling to cross the street and my friend said "omg the poor thing" and I pointed out I was once BIGGER than that person and I had NO NEED of anyone's sympathy, don't assume she does either!

Paulitens 06-12-2014 06:24 PM

It depends on who makes the remark and how it's intended. But for most of the part I appreciate them and I feel like, although I'm doing this for myself, validation after all this hard work feels great. :)

FeraFilia 06-12-2014 07:02 PM

Ha. I'll let you know when/if it ever happens.

A few years ago I lost over 50 pounds, and I got zero comments, period. Not from family, friends, acquaintances, nobody. My husband didn't even say much about it. Not that he wasn't supportive, he just didn't bring it up unless I said something first.

I don't think it would actually bother me, no matter the context, because I know what I'm doing is good for me, snide comments don't change that.

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