Im just starting out and new to this site
 

I am embarking on a new chapter in my life. One where I do not feed myself crap excuses over why I haven't gone to the gym, or tell myself I will just have this one cookie, and I'll start counting tomorrow.

I am 251 lbs and this is the heaviest I have been in my life. My knees hurt all the time, yet I would just explain it away as arthritis...Simple activities like bending over or squatting to pick something off the floor become a hassle and make me wonder if anyone notices I have to go off to the side so I can bend that far since my belly is in the way. I maintained a healthy weight between 150-155lbs before my first pregnancy. After I had my son I was about 190 lbs., and I dropped about 17 lbs, over three years then got pregnant for my second son. I did not gain much during the pregnancy, I was 201 lbs when I went into the hospital to have him, however two weeks after giving birth, I was 218 lbs...while nursing. I was disgusted and depressed, and my baby was miserable and sick, which made me want to just shove more calories down my gullet.

Well my youngest son is now 7 years old, I am no longer suffering from the baby blues, and my only obstacles are 1. My ability to procrastinate 2. cutting sweets out of my daily diet 3. becoming active. Three is the hardest for me because I feel embarrassed by my weight. My whole life before kids I was fit, without having to do much for it or so I thought; the reality was I was super active, I used to walk a mile every other day to a fishing whole with a bucket for if I caught anything, I would spend a couple of hours doing that and carry that back, then my husband and I would go four wheeling and hike all the time. We would wrestle every night for at least 30 minutes. After having kids all that changed. My son became the focus for both of us, I had a hard time feeling comfortable in my skin and eventually that took a toll on my marriage. I have been divorced for 3 years now.

But I have my **** together finally. I accept responsibility for how I got here, but I feel a bit intimidated by the journey ahead. I went to the gym for the first time tonight since signing up 3 weeks ago. I sat in my car for 15 minutes and finally just went in and spent 40 minutes between the treadmill and a stationary bike. I want to do some weight training but I really want to talk to a trainer and get the most out of my workout and learn how to use the machines ;) I was so overwhelmed walking up the stairs to enter the gym and felt nerves like nobodies business, but after 10 minutes walking I just tuned everything out and was just focusing on not falling flat on my face when I felt a burn in my calves. I wanted to quit but I endured and kept going, I just kept saying I will do 2 more minutes, after I did 20 minutes I didn't feel like my legs were falling off but they did feel heavy.

Does anyone have any tips on how to pace myself and get over the feeling that everyone is watching my *** jiggle and snickering to themselves? I kept telling myself if they are looking at me so what, if I hate being the fat lady I have to do this, if I quit I will never be where I want to be.

Hi and welcome! This site is great for support and advice, you've made the right first step coming here. Have you got a plan in mind? Have a look round, read the forums and see what you think may work for you. Big goals are overwhelming for me so I am not thinking of 161, I am thinking of 222, then 199, then 161. "A year from now you will be glad you started today." Take it one day at a time, find what works for you and what you can live with.

I'll chime in on going to the gym, because it is my obsession and I've grown to love it. I started back to the gym at 294... so, it was also tough. My first week, any day that I made it in the door was a victory. I didn't really worry about what I did as long as I did something. Then, each week I'd add some new goal. When I started to go to the classes, it was the same attitude of if I just survive the class, I've won. I do Spin and Body Pump classes. Once I got to where I could survive, then each week, I'd push a little more. Maybe add some resistance on the spin bike, or increase weights in Body Pump.

I've worked up to doing Spin 4 times a week, with weight lifting after the class on Saturday (when I have time to do more), and I do Body Pump 2 days a week. Sunday is a rest day.

You can do it! Just don't give yourself an option to stop. Remember my favorite saying: Motivation gets you started, Dedication gets you to goal!

Welcome aboard :wave:

Getting started is truly the hardest part. It's where we look ourselves flat in the face and see what we've done, accept responsibility, and plan to change. It's tough.
Good for you for finding this site. It's been a life saver for me time and time again. The accountability of everyone else has helped me stay honest with myself and with them. Find your focus and hold on tight! You can do this and we'll all be there cheering you on!

Just wanted to say welcome, I think you will find all the answers here, and everyone is encouraging and compassionate. Good to meet you.

You said it already ;) This "fear of what other people think" is a very debilitating fear that runs rampant in society. Releasing this fear will allow you to empower yourself and take your health into your own hands regardless of what others are saying around you. It is definitely not something that can be released overnight, but as you work on it, you will start to feel the changes within you and you'll be working out at the gym without a care in the world. I have 38F's and my top jiggle gets watched all the time :D I just smile.

Welcome and good luck on your journey!!

Thanks a bunch for the encouragement. I have been so busy but wanted to take a moment to acknowledge the responses. The gym kicked my tush the other day and even though my back of all things is sore as anything I feel wonderful knowing I am actively taking charge and changing what I am unhappy with and do not like about myself. One day at a time =D