I am straight up struggling. With life and with food and with exercise and with work. My ex is moving to Russia, and will be taking my children with him. They really want to go, and I agreed to it. But I desperately, desperately, desperately want to roll in a ball and hide under my bed.
But I can't go down that road. I sometimes think that if I am completely miserable, it will be proof of what that loss meant to me. But I want my children to see this as an adventure. I want them to love it. And my misery will not convince them that I love them. Rather, it will make them feel guilty and either want to avoid me or choose to stay instead of doing something that would be amazing experience for them. It's only temporary, and I can make it.
Sorry for the rambling. Carter, I am once again trying to follow your example. Losing a partner and a good relationship is incredibly painful, and in your position, I would be inclined to sink into the misery, just as I want to do in my life right now. Embracing the pain can be so seductive. But it never works out well for me. So I have to cling to what I know makes me feel better. Working out. Eating well. Focusing on being productive. Being purposeful about spending time with my children. Not allowing myself to spiral into depression. (Disclaimer: This is not a comment about clinical depression, nor about how anyone else deals with situational depression. It's strictly about me better understanding how to deal with my challenges.) Because right now, for me, this isn't about seeing the scale needle drop. It's about feeling strong enough to make it through one of the most difficult transitions of my life. And I can do it. Just as you are doing it.
Thanks LaurieDawn. You have my sympathy, and then some. There is really no comparison between being dumped by a woman I was seeing for a while and your kids moving to another country. Your heart must be breaking in the worst way. I wish you the best strength in finding your focus as you adjust to this tremendous and difficult change.
Everyone else: good morning. In my coffee today: a couple of small pieces of the amazing stick cinammon I bought in Delhi, which I loved so much that the second time I went to India I had to find the shop again and buy some more. I wish I could send some of this stuff to everyone. It is unlike any stick cinnamon I have ever seen anywhere else.
LaurieDawn: Aww. I wish there was something magical I could say. I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I can't imagine...
It's interesting because I was just talking this morning with a coworker about how life can so easily throw you off course. I can't compare to what others are going through, but last year was tough for me, mainly dealing with financial issues. Bad times! The stress was so great that I felt myself sink into apathy. I didn't care to work out, didn't care what I ate, didn't care if my house was clean, just didn't care about any of it. It didn't help me to be like that, so I decided to brush myself off, get back on course, and get back to doing what makes me feel good. So, yes, getting the weight off is an issue, but feeling strong and confident is the bigger purpose.
Weight loss contest at work begins Monday. I'm looking forward to the competition. It inspires me to kick some butt. And I want to win the money!
I allowed myself a little recreational eating last night - I went out to dinner at a place that I go to specifically to drink alcohol and eat gobs of cheese. There may be more on-plan items I can order there but if I had wanted to stick to plan last night, I simply would not have gone there.
I haven't had a recreational eating event like that since getting back on plan just shy of a month ago. I'm okay with it. It was a mindful choice I made. I estimated the calories as best I could and logged them, and I'm right back on plan today. I would like to be able to do something like that once in a month and not have it derail my loss or my maintenance. So, I won't sweat it. I'll just stay on plan through the rest of the weekend.
Laurie Dawn, my heart goes out to you. I used to hate it when my kids went on vacation with their grandparents for a week, so I can't imagine an extended period of time. How long will they be gone? Will you be able to visit them?
I am on Day Three of using My Fitness Pal, and I love it! It's just what I needed to get me going again. I am using a budgeting program for my finances (You Need a Budget) and it kind of reminds me of that.
I lost 2 pounds this week. Pretty pumped about that.
So, today is my day off. I consider Saturday my day of rest, and then Sunday I do my housework, laundry, etc. plus any bookkeeping jobs I have to do. I have a few clients that I do books for from home. Looking forward to doing some reading later. I never seem to have time to sit down and read a book. Or rather, I don't make the time.
Hello everyone. Glad to see folks ready to own up to the regains and get back to it.
Are you planning to take the same approach that you used to lose the weight the first time? Or, thinking of trying something different?
For me, I know what works: calorie counting, commitment, making the best choice I can make each time I am faced with a choice, saying "not today," keeping in mind that not every eating opportunity needs to be taken advantage of to its fullest.
Good luck and good strength.
I was a skinny kid, gained weight as soon as I hit adulthood for whatever reasons- not enough exercise, poor nutrition, underestimating my calorie intake. It hit 260 at one point and said that's it. I got down to 180 in short bursts of losing and maintaining. Gained a little back, then got divorced.
I got serious at that point- I was exercising a LOT, very strict with my eating. And lost 51 pounds. Then I met my current husband...
We bought a house together and my lifestyle got flipped upside down. I was suddenly in an area that isn't conducive to walking and an inconvenient trip to the gym- My last two apartments were near walking trails and on the way to the gym. PLUS, my time was being eaten up with housework, caring for my stepdaughter, and helping my dh with his business.
I gained back what I had lost PLUS MORE. Last month I weighed in at 253 and said ENOUGH. MY health is my priority- everything else will have to take a backseat. It is actually working well. My dh is picking up the slack and cleaning up after dinner.
I had MANY false starts in the meantime- I'd make a half-hearted effort and give up. My husband has been less than supportive- he would make comments about what I eat or my gaining (which I finally got him to stop!), but he would complain when I tried to schedule time to workout. If I mentioned changes I was trying to make, he would dissuade me with how impossible it is and telling me what I need to do. SO- I just decided not to talk to him about it this time.
Oh and his ex-wife who recently lost weight and is very sensitive about her weight refers to me as "your fat wife". Which is fine, because even now, I love myself and my body- if that is the worst she can call me, awesome But I was not thrilled when sd7 asked if she can call me "her chubby cupcake." lol I know she said it out of love so I just smiled & gave her a hug.
But for the past 24 days I have been religiously recording what I eat and exercising daily. I definitely feel like my mindset has changed and that I will be successful and stick with it now. My exercise time is not negotiable- if that means the dishes don't get done or my laundry isn't folded- Oh well!
I am doing basically what I have always done- tracking eating, carefully measuring my food, and exercise (I use Loseit) both with an app and in a notebook- but this time I am much more liberal with what I "allow" myself to eat- ANYTHING as long as I account for the calories.
We bought a stationary bike last year- which is probably the only reason I didn't gain back even MORE, though I only was using it intermittently and not watching my food intake.
I feel like I can do this forever, because I am not restricting myself. If I want something, I eat it- I just have account for the calories. And I find when I am looking at the calories, a lot of foods I was eating just aren't worth it! Grande Mochas are like 500 calories! I can have a whole meal and a piece of chocolate and be happier!!
I have lost 13lbs and I feel so much better already. My range of motion has increased, I am less winded when walking up the stairs, etc.
On one hand, it is easy this time because I know how straightforward and easy it can be... OTOH I get frustrated that I have to lose weight that I already lost once.
I just tell myself I cannot change the mistakes I made, I can only look forward and make better choices now.
Well I am still waiting for that whoosh. I did not have a flawless weekend, it is true - I overate Friday evening. But still, it would have been nice to see the whoosh that I KNOW is coming. I am just going to keep at it. I'm telling myself all the things I tell other people on the board when they worry about apparent stalls.
IonMoon - you said a couple things that especially resonate for me. First, about losing weight you have already lost once - that is why I created this regainers/relosers thread. I think there is a particular kind of frustration that we face. We have to look out for getting mad at ourselves, or at least channel that anger in a productive way.
Also, I have been finding that patience comes with even more difficulty than it did the first time around. I was never a patient person but I learned a lot about patience from my weight loss process. Now that I am stuck here 20 pounds above my maintenance range I am finding myself very impatient again.
The other thing you mentioned is about good choices becoming easier to make when you are counting calories too. This was almost revelatory for me the first time around. I never cut out alcohol, for example, but when I weighed the calorie-cost of a drink versus whatever food was served with it, the drink was almost never worth it. I went months without having a drink at all.
I belonged to the 100 lb club a couple of years ago and while I was posting, I got great support and lost 40 lbs! I fell away from this board and regained the majority of the weight. Now I want to go back where I left off and restart in earnest! I saw this regainers' post and thought it would be good to post here too. I am copy/pasting part of this from the daily weigh in post for February too. I am happy to be back and ready to get this going again!
So I got down to 187 about two years ago and maintained it for a year, but some setbacks at work happened and I got very depressed and gained all 30+ pounds back. I was so miserable and crying all the time. I didn't care about anything - just depressed. Gaining the weight back only added to my depression.
It took a lot of courage to get out of the situation and for my sanity, my husband and I decided to make a huge life change and move to Turkey in May. So here I am in Turkey - I don't have to work, my husband works from home and I can spend time with him and my kids and just dedicate myself to getting better!
Now that we are settled in for the most part and our container arrived with all my exercise equipment, I can get started again! I have my own gym downstairs (treadmill, weights, tv, Wii, stereo) and time to use them- really, I have no excuses AT ALL! I have eaten all the great Turkish food and desserts the last couple of months being here, that I am pretty sure, I wont miss eating them for a couple of months while I work on my health.
Whew! Ok, so now that I am caught up, I can tell you how I plan to work this weight off!
1. Weigh myself daily - Good thing I have always been a daily weigher. Its funny, I have been doing it so long I know my weight before I even get on the scale! 2. Check in daily - Checking in with this group has always helped me remember that we all struggle daily and it feels so good to give and get support! And it keeps me accountable too! 3. Diet changes - Last time I gave up sugar, sweetners, salt, and kept my diet low carb. I ate a lot of good food, 6 times a day, and felt satisfied not hungry. I am going to do this again because I know it works! 4. Exercise - I forgot how great exercise feels! I have been working out (walking/running) for 20 minutes a day for the last week and already my mood has changed! I feel so good afterward! I kept good records about how much I worked out and for how long, the last time I did this, that I know how fast I was able to build stamina. I am looking forward to reaching those goals again!
And thats it! That is how I am going to accomplish my goal. I was thinking of updating my ticker but I think this is a good first goal to look forward to! Here is a snapshot of what my weigh ins have been since I decided to start this journey again:
Wednesday, February 5, 2014 221.6
Thursday, February 6, 2014 220.6
Friday, February 7, 2014 220
Saturday, February 8, 2014 220.6
Sunday, February 9, 2014 220.6
Monday, February 10, 2014 218.6
Thanks for listening! I am happy to be here and I look forward to our shared successes!
Well, I suppose I should stop putting it off and say hi to everyone again. Many of you are familiar, and while I'm sorry to see that you still need this thread, it's comforting to know it's here for those of us who just keep falling down.
The last time I was here was nearly a year ago, I'm pretty sure. Since then I've continued to struggle, to the point where I finally went to the doctor and saw my original starting weight on their scale. I did not burst into tears, to my credit, but after a humiliating appointment/lecture about diets (like I don't already know how it's *supposed* to work) I decided that I didn't want to be that weight for the rest of my life, so here I am.
Since then I'm down about 10 pounds, but every single one has been a fight. I'm continuing to really struggle, not with staying on plan so much, but with getting my weight to go down at all. It shouldn't be so hard, considering how much I have to lose, but that's the way my body's always worked, so I'm not surprised.
Anyway, I'm back, no excuses, just back. I'm so sorry to everyone who's having a rough time with life right now. Hopefully we can all support each other and see some real progress this time around.
One thing I have done is in my journal where I log my eating and exercise and progress, I have a few new sections including reasons I am doing this like: can't fit comfortable in my dining room chairs, chafing, don't want to end up a burden to my kids, etc.
& Inspirational Quotes.
I am impatient, too! But I try to look at it as a positive- it feels so good when you are losing and you reach your goals, notice the changes in your body. I get to do that all over again And since I did this before, I know that the patience pays off.
I KNOW now that I CAN do this... my challenge I think is going to be maintaining once I am done.
Had a good loss last week, down 2.6. The week before was a very slight gain, so I was hoping for a little redemption. I also started our weight loss challenge here at work. So, for the next 7 weeks, I have to be really, really focused. There is a lot of money at risk, and I want to win it!!
I went back in my records to see where I was before I started regaining. Looks like 253 is the magical number. So, quite a ways to go before I start losing new weight. One step at a time!
Welcome to all new posters! Glad you're joining us!
Since then I'm down about 10 pounds, but every single one has been a fight. I'm continuing to really struggle, not with staying on plan so much, but with getting my weight to go down at all. It shouldn't be so hard, considering how much I have to lose, but that's the way my body's always worked, so I'm not surprised.
thistoo, being a slow loser takes a special kind of patience doesn't it? What kind of plan do you follow? Some slow losers say lowering carb intake helps speed up the loss. I haven't experimented with low carb myself since 2004 and I'm not recommending this, just noting that it's a thing I've heard people mention in connection with speeding up slow loss.
I've occasionally thought of experimenting with it. But, I'm not prepared to commit to it for 2-3 months, which is what I would have to do to both develop new routines around the change and determine whether it affected my rate of loss and overall wellbeing.
Anyway, today I did finally see a loss below that number I first saw almost 4 weeks ago. I'm pleased. I am not always patient but I did stick to my plan and that is what matters.
thistoo, being a slow loser takes a special kind of patience doesn't it? What kind of plan do you follow? Some slow losers say lowering carb intake helps speed up the loss.
It does take patience indeed! I'm on basically the no-carb diet. No sugar, no grains, no dairy, no alcohol, no legumes, no artificial sweeteners, extremely limited fruit. Meat and vegetables with nuts for snacking, for the most part. It's very strict paleo, though I have been breaking the rules with half and half in my coffee and the occasional glass of wine, mostly because it wasn't making that much difference either way if I was super strict.
My weight loss continues to inch along at a snail's pace in spite of cutting out everything, so who knows what my body's doing. I've always lost slowly, but this is ridiculous.
Congratulations on your loss, Carter! That's great. I hope everyone else is doing well. I'm stuck at the same weight I've been at for almost a week now. I'd say I'm hoping for a whoosh, but I don't have those, so.
I missed going to the gym yesterday. I have a cold and I'm really congested. Mondays are my spin class day, so I decided to not go. I went back today for body pump. It really feels better to be there, even though I was breathing through my mouth the whole time. I love working out. I just feel so much better.
I had someone mention that they could tell I've lost some weight. I don't know if she said it because she knows I've been trying to, but it was nice to hear anyway. I do feel a little difference with just the 10 pounds.
But, slow weight loss... me too. Just have to keep trying. There really aren't any other good options!!
Diane, that really takes dedication to go to the gym when you aren't feeling well. I am just getting back into exercise. My fitness is at about a zero. 15 minutes on the treadmill is all I can manage, but at least it's a start.
I am feeling so much better already. Mostly mentally, but also physically a bit. I am just so darned happy to be back on the road to health. What a lift losing a few pounds gives me!
In my coffee today: a couple of small pieces of the amazing stick cinammon I bought in Delhi, which I loved so much that the second time I went to India I had to find the shop again and buy some more. I wish I could send some of this stuff to everyone. It is unlike any stick cinnamon I have ever seen anywhere else.
But I was not thrilled when sd7 asked if she can call me "her chubby cupcake." lol I know she said it out of love so I just smiled & gave her a hug.
