Regainers regaining control, and relosing

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  • Hi kids! <-- need extra today because my kitty-cat yowled me right out of bed before 5:00 this morning.

    Easily Amused, I suspect everyone needs to rant sometimes. Weight loss can be crazy-making. I try to bring my rational mind to bear on everything I do, but sometimes lizard-brain carter takes over and I have to melt down. No matter how disciplined and rational I try to be, weight loss is an emotionally fraught subject and process - no way around it.

    And, I like your tweaked plan. It sounds like you are thinking very hard about how to adjust your plan to make it less painful to stick to, which is to me the number 1 key to successful weight loss - you have to engineer your environment and your choices so that the path of least resistance (most of the time) is sticking to plan.

    Thanks for the good wishes. I am happy to be seeing that woman again - really cautiously happy, because - Slashnl hit the nail on the head - I don't entirely trust her not to freak out again. We had long talks about what went wrong for her before, we have made adjustments to accommodate her issues, but at the moment I feel super-vigilant about not going down that same path again.

    It hasn't been a long relationship - still less than a year - so it's not quite the same emotional investment and general life entanglement as a long partnership or marriage. But - there are other complicating aspects in my life situation that make everything a bit harder.

    So yes. Blah blah blah, long story short, the ups and downs and re-ups of this relationship aren't making it any easier to stick to my plan.

    I'm okay though. Stuck to plan yesterday (despite taking the woman in question to a movie at a theater with excellent popcorn) and so far so good today. I just - I don't know, have to stay focused, fight that urge to binge, really make every last choice mindfully. Phew.
  • Hi all! Just checking in. I am working hard this weekend to be ready for the weigh in Monday. I'm going to be glad when the challenge is over. But, I figured I could give it 2 strong days of exercise and calorie deficit so that I can at least say that I gave it my all.

    Carter: Just one day at a time!!! I know you can do it!!

    Easily Amused: Good for you for working through getting used to lower calories! You'll get there!

    Have a good weekend!
  • Hi kids.

    Weekend wasn't great, plan-wise, but it could have been worse. I do a lot of cooking on the weekends, focusing on delicious flavorful on-plan food for the week. I made a pulao (Indian seasoned rice with vegetables) that came out so unbelievably delicious that I had a hard time controlling myself with it. I think about two cups of it fell into my mouth when I was putting the leftovers away.

    It was that kind of weekend. On the plus side I passed up a couple of opportunities for actual binges. And I find it a little easier to control my eating within the structure of the work week. So, forward ever onward.

    Regain kind of sucks all around. I can't remember whether I mentioned this here - last week I went and bought new bras, because I just couldn't pretend the bras I had bought at my lowest weight still fit. I had gone up a cup size, but not a band size (I know that sounds terrific to some, but trust me I don't need it - I'd gladly donate two or three cup sizes to any woman in need who wants them). It's tough to admit that kind of thing, that I can't fit my trimmest clothes any more, but it's also necessary, I think, to feel good about myself and how I look, at every stage of this process.

    So here is my question of the day for you regainers out there: How have you confronted the unwanted and disappointing changes to your body that come with bouncing back from your lowest weight?

    Slashnl: I can't wait to hear the results of your challenge. Best of luck all around!
  • Afternoon Folks,
    Tomorrow starts my official back on the gym bandwagon and I am shaking in my boots about it. I've realized part of me is worried that this is going to be an uphill battle entire way to get back under 200 lbs and I would hate to lose heart halfway through.

    I'm also trying to get back in calorie counting gear but that is always easier on me when I am working out. Right now it's a struggle because I am not physically active but when working out I have no desire to undo all the stuff I just sweated out. I do need to plan out my lunches/dinner more but I never seem to have the time/energy to actually cook.

    Luck to everyone else!
  • Well, we had weigh in, but we're waiting for a couple of people yet. I may not know until this afternoon. I put in some extra time with workouts this weekend. I don't think it helped, because on my scale, I was up .2 pounds. My weigh in was better than I thought for this challenge, so we'll see how it goes. It is hard to tell with some of the smaller people, since they have less to lose for their percentages. We'll see. I'll report later.

    Carter: That is an upsetting part of regaining. I had gotten myself out of women's sizes clothes, but then I am back up to those lovely 1x, 2x, 3x choices. It is so disappointing to have to give in and get the larger sizes. I just have to do it differently this time and not let myself slip back into the bad habits and lazy attitude.

    SRT4852: You can do it! I know it is scary starting back up again, but you will get back on track and feel so much better!

    Easily Amused: Glad things are going well!
  • Well, that sucks. Came in 2nd. No money.... just the satisfaction of giving my best.

    Whatever.... wanted to win.
  • Hi kids.

    Slashnl, sorry you didn't win that prize! I'm impressed how the contest kept you focused though. I hope you can be pleased with that even without the cash. What's your plan for continuing after the contest?

    I have to get moving so I'll just leave a quick thought today: as frustrated as I am with this regain, as much as I want to get it back off, and as hard am I struggling against the urge to binge lately, I want to be consciously pleased that I only regained 20% of what I lost. It could have been much, much worse. Even though I'm not really losing these last few weeks, my efforts are (I think) keeping me from regaining more. That's a good thing.
  • Good Morning Folks!

    @Slashnl: 2nd is nothing to sniff at! Why didn't you win money was this a game of some kind?

    @Carter: You'll get back to where you want to be and when you do it will be fantastic.

    In my own news: My food choices yesterday were poor when I got home but it was date night and I spoke with my boyfriend about how I can't eat "cheese with more cheese and Doritos with chili" casserole dinners. BUT - I did it. I got up at 430 am and dragged myself to the gym and made a fool of myself trying out a new machine (Open Stride thiny: It's like and elliptical and a tread-climber in one but learning the motions are awkward) but I spent 50 - 60 glorious minuets sweating and pushing through and I know I can do it agian tomorrow.
  • Thanks for the support. I have to say that my disappointment level was really high yesterday. I gave in my "whiny inner five-year-old", as mentioned in Carter's signature. But I have to go on now. My son was trying to be helpful and told me that I've done so well, and I should be proud, etc. I told him that just for the day (yesterday), I was going to feel bad and be upset about it. But I won't let it derail me. I almost just slept in today, but I got up and went to the gym. I set a new, aggressive goal for myself, losing a total of 50 by 7/1/14. I hope to use that to keep the focus up. I also will continue to track calories and exercise on myfitnesspal, and I'll keep coming here. I said that I wanted to win the challenge, and it is too bad that I didn't, but the other part of this is to improve my health and get this weight off. I have to remember that.

    Carter: You should be proud of not gaining more than you did with your regain. That is important to be able to stop before all progress is lost. Nice job!!!

    SRT4852: Yay! Good job on getting to the gym! And, you reached out and tried something new. That is really, really good! Glad to see you're excited about going back.
    (Oh, and to answer your question... I was in a weight loss challenge at work, and if you won 1st place, you won $600. That's why I'm disappointed I didn't win.)

    Have a good day everyone!
  • Easily Amused: Just keep tweaking!! That's all you can do. I guess it makes it interesting anyway. Good job on the steps!

    Not much going on for me. Went to Spin class this morning. It seemed harder than normal. I think I'm still getting over the disappointment of not winning the weight loss challenge. It makes me tired. I'll have to be careful about not letting progress get away.

    Have a good one!
  • @ Easily Amused: I can understand the skin struggle. I have been obese since puberty (thank you hormones and no parental supervision!) so my skin (even though I am only 26) is never going to be something I am completely comfortable with but being healthy is my top priority for losing weight!

    In my news; I slept through my alarm and gym time today. I always forget how tired I am when I first start out so it was ambitious for me to think I was going to get there every day this week. I wills stick with Tu/Th (maybe Friday!) morning for this week. Next week I can try to tackle more days but I don't want to hurt myself when I am just getting out of the gate. I also went slightly over in calories yesterday but I am starting to think I am restricting myself a little TOO much immediately (1,500 calorie diet at 255 while busting my butt in the gym? Tummy Growls here I come).

    However - I signed up for a 5k in Oct (my first ever!) and it's a color run so I am nervous. Anyone from the PA Pocono Area that wants to join? I also signed up for a "Grazebox" which seems pretty cool just to try since I am always looking for healthy snacks.

    I am also trying to plan out what to eat for Dinner - I am taking my mom out to a Longhorn Steakhouse for dinner and I know to stay in calorie I am limited in my choice. It's making me nervous.
  • @ Easily: Woo - I don't know where you live but I would LOVE to say good bye to my fleece in Easter PA. Congrats on the high step-page and miles for the date and I'm sure you'l see the same numbers on your official weigh in!

    As for myself - *whistle* I fell off the bandwagon at dinner last night. I was starving and allowed myself to (shall we say) "tuck in" to the appetizer (Texas Tonion and Bread) and still ate my entire 8oz steak and baked potato and side salad (no cheese or bacon thank you - take my small victories while I can). I need to get back to finding the right balance of nutrients (mainly protein) while on my 1500 diet and exercise - because I am not looking to starve to lose this weight. My stomach was growling so loudly before the food arrived people two tables over could hear it.

    Someone was telling me that I can get away with Greek Yogurt, Peanut Butter, etc for protein but I find that - well - I am true carnivore and I need meat (preferably red!) once I get THAT hungry to fill me up. I am looking for better (quicker/easier) suggestions for times like that.

    But I DID make it to the gym this morning! Which was a huge victory for me because I am was so tired (and still am) this morning. I also have a question that I am hoping someone offer advice on - I have two calories counting devices 1.) Heart Rate Monitor, 2.) Fitbit and 3.) Cardio Machine and they all always vary between 100 - 200 calorie difference. Any ideas which would be the most accurate?
  • I need some motivation and have come back to 3FC for it. I've been sloooowwwwly regaining for the last few years and am up about 30lb from I lowest (only ~5 from where I wanted to be) and I am SO FRUSTRATED. It doesn't help that I haven't exactly been trying in the food department.

    Thanks for the motivation everyone here provides. I tend to get burnt out on diet forums, but I think I need it right now.
  • Hi all! Welcome to Tarisaande!! Looking forward to getting to know you! This is a good thread, to me. Lots of support here.

    Easily Amused: Funny you should mention being tired from pushing so hard on exercise. I finally decided to take a break today. Last night, my back was sore and my quad muscles have been sore for about 5 days. I push them a lot, so they tend to be tired. So, no gym for me today. I'll go back tomorrow, but it felt pretty good to sleep in today and just ease into the day at least. I think it was a good thing. I just can't let it all slip away!! Oh, and you are definitely warmer than we are. We aren't quite warm enough to do away with jackets!

    SRT4852: Good for you getting to the gym! It's hard to adjust to a new workout schedule. But I think if you keep going, it will get easier. I know nothing about Fitbit, but I've always heard that the HRM around the chest is the best way to measure calorie burn. It is talked about a lot on myfitnesspal.

    Well, have a good day everyone!
  • Thanks Slashnl and Easily Amused!

    Slashnl, and anyone else struggling with this! Take care with soreness from pushing with the exercise, resting is a good idea even when you feel like you NEED to go out. One of my hurdles the last couple years has been that I ignored soreness in my shoulder and ended up with a torn rotator cuff. Even now a year and a half after surgery, it still hurts, and I cant do weight training (or even open heavy doors without pain). I never liked lifting, but I did it anyway. The thing I miss most is kickboxing though. Ah, I LOVED it!

    I'm trying to start running again regularly this summer, and I went out yesterday and don't feel sore today and thought about running again, but I know I should probably skip a day and not overdo it. I've only been out 2x in the last 2 weeks, and none before that since last november! So today it is a walk outside in the nice spring weather we've been blessed with and run tomorrow