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Old 01-07-2014, 04:15 PM   #1  
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Default How to regain self-control/motivation

Right now I feel disgustingly out of control. Literally since I started my plan, I don't think I've felt this out of control. I've used Christmas (and the 4-6 weeks surrounding Christmas!) as an excuse to eat whatever I want and now I just can't seem to find my motivation again. I've been saying every day for the last week that today's the today. Sometimes I get most of the way through and then just spend my evening binging on everything in sight. It's ridiculous. Part of me obviously cares, but most of me just craves the immediacy of food. All I can think of is even if I go back on plan today, I won't see a result today, so who cares, scoff the food! I think I've put on easily half a stone to a stone in the last few weeks. I don't wanna know to be honest!

I've tried planning ahead, tried eating regular meals, tried low calorie snacks, tried saving majority of calories for evening, but I still want to stuff my face and it's getting annoying. I even tried destroying a couple of things I was gonna eat, but then a few minutes later I was just like 'whatever' and ate something different! Despairing at myself honestly. If anyone has any tips I'd welcome them, but I guess this is really just one of those things where I'll have keep trying until I manage to get back on track. :/
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Old 01-07-2014, 04:35 PM   #2  
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Terichelle, I totally identify with how you're feeling right now. Been there so many times. I cycle through these lows several times a year and have only just recently figured out that for me, the overeating is part of a deep emotional thing.

For me, it's all about being alone in the evenings. I'm busy all day, really enjoying my work and the social aspects of it all. But when I get home, that connected feeling evaporates. It's really hard right now because my sons (21 and 16) are completely not interested in spending time with me. They have their own lives (as they should). I've not been married for five years, and during the last 15 years of my marriage, I felt even more alone then than I do now.

So my nightly routine involves overeating while watching TV till I can't keep my eyes open. I'm really too tired to do much of anything else, and not really emotionally connected to anyone that can help me with this right now. I'm trying to work out a solution to this, since I've figured out that this my problem only in the last few months. This issue has even been a part of why I struggle to get to bed in a timely fashion.

But I don't want a boyfriend! Other than this issue, my life is pretty much just how I want it and I'm generally very happy. I don't want to bring anyone into my life that will mess this up for me!

What I do to snap out of the downward spiral of inappropriate eating is to fast for 24 hours. Just taking a day to take a break from all food seems to help me a lot. I just drink a lot of water that day, and the next day, I get back into eating lots of fresh vegetables, healthy fats and protein. I will avoid processed food and any restaurants, as well as alcohol, for a whole week. That usually kicks all the cravings for me. It also helps to get enough sleep every night.
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Old 01-07-2014, 06:50 PM   #3  
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I am also in the same boat. I went through a period of where I really took care of myself then stopped. I've had the hardest time regaining that motivation and regained the majority of what I had lost instead. Evenings are also the hardest for me...drawn to the TV. I hope you find that spark again and can get past this. I plan to take care of me again, solid meals that will satisfy; a food curfew; treadmill 1 hour a day. I had no problems with sleep as I was ready to hit the sack by 9pm and felt refreshed in the mornings. Good luck!
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Old 01-07-2014, 07:04 PM   #4  
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One thing I have found is to do something utterly unrelated to food or thinking about food or calories. To lose myself in something I love to do. For me sometimes that is sewing. I can't (and don't) think about food when my fabric and sewing machine are all over the kitchen.
Later if I'm feeling like I want to watch tv and need to keep my hands busy, I'll just do some hand sewing (it doesn't even need to be a real project, just 2 pieces of cloth together.)
If your are concentrating so much energy on food, its natural that is where your mind will go. Find something that absorbs your energy completely and see if that heaves you out of this.
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Old 01-07-2014, 07:24 PM   #5  
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Everyone gets motivated different. What works for you? What motivated you to lose weight in the first place? For some people it's their kids (they want to be able to keep up with them, or ensure they'll be there to walk them down the aisle, for example), for some it's their health, for some it's vanity, for some it's their knees hurt. For some it's for someone else- a spouse, maybe.

For me, it's a combo. It's for my health, it's for my knees and back, it's for my lifestyle (I prefer to be very active, which is hard when you're heavier), and it's for vanity.

One thing I find very motivating is reading success stories or watching success videos. For example, I did the P90X workout program a couple times. The first time, every single day I would go on Yoo-tube and find a success story and watch it. Seeing someone who started at 400 lbs end up trim and with abs was just so inspiring. It really helped me to keep going.

And one trick I use on myself, when I lack all will power, is my "promise to God" tactic. This only works if you're religious, but what I do is let's say I want to commit to having no sweets at all for a month. I'll say, "Lord, I promise I will have no sweets this month and ask you for your help to keep me to this promise." For me it works, because I feel way more accountable to God than I do to myself or any other person. But this could work with anyone you feel accountable to, even yourself if you're good at making promises to yourself that you don't break.
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Old 01-08-2014, 10:18 AM   #6  
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I'm feeling exactly the same. I've been spinning out of control and the holidays are the worst. I bake and eat, everyone has food, food, food!! I gained about 10 lbs over the holidays and my exercising has been sporadic. It has to be stop thinking about starting over tomorrow, it has to be today! Take 1 day at a time. Don't plan ahead for tomorrow, figure out what you are going to do today. What is it about the evening that is causing you to eat? Something emotional? I never figured I was an emotional eater and then finally figure out I was in huge denial about that. I would guess that almost all overeating is something emotional. the suggestions about keeping yourself busy are good but also maybe you aren't eating enough during the day. It may depend too on what you are eating. If you are not getting enough protein during the day your body isn't going to be satisfied no matter what leading to binging in the evening. Just a thought but it might be good to look at where your calories are going, how much to protein, fat and carbs. if you are carb high and protein low that could be a cause of binging.
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Old 01-08-2014, 10:51 AM   #7  
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Thanks for bringing this topic up. I have been struggling to motivate myself. I am half way through a very large weight loss (143 pounds down with 147 to go) I have not been out of control but struggling to find the right food to eat. I also find it harder to motivate around exercise. I just feel blah and unenthusiastic about the whole thing.

I know my weight loss journey has been a roller coaster of ups and downs with some smooth times in between. Some things work and others do not. Sometimes it is one step forward and two steps back. I hope that you and I will both continue to try and move forward. I think that is all I can ask of myself.

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Old 01-08-2014, 10:58 AM   #8  
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terichelle Oh Good! I am not alone! lol

No Seriously. I know how you feel! Only my spiral out of control wasn't limited to the holiday season (exacerbated by them, yes!) its been a 6 month stretch. I lost 40 lbs, fit into the bridesmaids dress and pretty much quit there. I did manage to maintain most of the summer and really only started to gain back when it got really cold in October)

The crap that I ate for no reason. Horrible. Horrible Horrible. The worst part is that feeling... you know that one, while you're stuffing your face with all sorts of junk, knowing that you know better and feeling bad about not having the self control to stop. Then I would pick a day to "get back at it!" And then would eat even more until that day. Because I had to get it all while I still could of course! lol. Oh how the mind works.

I know that for me my binging is mostly boredom induced. I have been trying for 20 years to find a hobby and have had no luck. The best thing I can do to take my mind off food is play video games. something to occupy my hands. Unfortunately that isn't always an option for me! But distracting yourself is a great help in preventing a binge.

A good thing to try is to have some healthy snacks prepared for when those hunger pangs hit. I really liked having pre made trail mix baggies made up. With almonds and dried fruit and maybe a bit of dark chocolate chips to give you that bit of chocolate fix that most of us need

One more thing. Feel a binge coming on! INSTEAD OF OPENING THE FRIDGE COME HERE INSTEAD!!!! Tell us about it, vent, rant whatever the case may be!

And always remember: It's not about motivation. It's about commitment. (sometimes I feel like I should be committed... )
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Old 01-08-2014, 11:07 AM   #9  
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Terichelle- I was there with you doing the holidays...I was on vacation and away from work. I gained 5 lbs and almost fell into the WTH attitude and gave up. But, thankfully I poured myself into the 3FC forum and threads about success stories. I searched and view before and after pics that I had seen before. It was energizing! It helped me in those moments of wanting to snack or binge on food.

T.V. is a problem eating trigger for me too. So like at work I multi-task...T.V. and browsing the 3FC threads for encouragement and distraction from food thoughts.

Sending you best wishes! You have come so far and this is just a bit of a will find your grove again hang in there!
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Old 01-08-2014, 11:14 AM   #10  
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No real advice other than to take it one day at a time.
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Old 01-08-2014, 11:29 AM   #11  
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Not food journaling but emotional journaling. There's a study that show recovering anorexics did much better in food situations when they journaled. Why? It was a way of mentally preparing themselves for food situations so that when they were faced with them, they had REHEARSED in their brains already.

Laid off workers that journaled were WAY more likely (like 80%) than other laid off workers to find jobs. Why? They were more likely to journal through the frustration and get back to the tasks they needed to do rather that stew in their thoughts.

So set aside some time BEFORE a binge (like early evening) and sit down and write.
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Old 01-09-2014, 09:29 AM   #12  
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I absolutely relate to this too. I did really well from about June 2012 until May or June of 2013 or so. Then, I struggled A LOT to get back on plan. At first, I didn't care so much. Hence, allowing myself to go off plan after so long on plan. But then, as the weight started returning, I cared. And I vowed every evening, then every morning, then every afternoon, to get back on plan. I finally really made it November 4. Just in time for the holidays and the resulting struggle to stay on plan.

So, with the acknowledgement that things don't always work as well as I would like, I will tell you what I did to get back on plan.

Coming to these forums. Making sure I had the tools at the ready. Trying different kinds of healthier food options. The "I am just struggling right now. But I am a person who respects her health and is willing to work hard to preserve and improve it." self-talk. Watching videos of the super-obsese. Lots available on YouTube: Fat Doctor, Heavy, Superfat v. Superskinny. Because I am amazingly adept at gaining lots of weight very quickly, so my 271 could have easily turned into 471 (or more), and that would make it difficult for me to function and do the things I love most.

Perhaps most importantly, I did not give up hope. Or, at least, I didn't permanently give up hope. I tried and tried and tried until it finally clicked. And now, I am fighting every day to have good days and to maintain my focus. I am lucky to have this forum and some good friends to support me in the struggle.

You can do this. We all can do this. =)
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Old 01-09-2014, 01:40 PM   #13  
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Thanks for the support and all the great advice in this thread. I'm sure I'll be trying to put some of it into practice.

Yesterday was an on plan day for me, miraculously lol. Today, it was someone's birthday at work and there was a giant cake sat in the office kitchen. I avoided it all day, but late afternoon all I could think about was having some of the leftovers. I ended up getting a fairly small piece. No idea if it will put me over my calorie limit for the day (no idea how much was in the cake), but I'm going to have my evening meal as normal. As long as I don't binge later, this is going down as my second good day in a row. After the way I've been eating, believe me it's good enough for now!
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