I have been gaining. Up to 299. I console myself with, it's not 300. Who am I kidding? If I owed you 2.99, I'd give you 3.00. I have just come off a binge. Much like an alcoholic. Ate everything I wanted - no rules - no boundaries.
I've been thinking. I think it's a personality trait, the way I deal with food. I am realizing that I also deal with many things in my life the same way.
Credit Card debt. I have tons. I have been completely out of debt twice before, only to rack it right back it up. I recently got a consolidation loan. Deal was NO CHARGING. But then I had to pay $1,900.00 for my TMJ. Well, nothing I could do about that. But then I charged another $200 for something that was necessary, but if I were serious about keeping the debt gone, I would have waited on. It's just $200 right. And *Poof* the debt is on it's way back up.
Filing. I have this great filing cabinet set up for all my bills, receipts, policies and so on. Where do I put all the stuff? In a box next to the cabinet. 2 years worth of stuff sitting there right now. I get soooooo frustrated when I have to search for something, I swear that I will file it all and never let it get like that again. I have done that (filed it all) then one day, I run out of time, say I'll file it next week, which turns into next month, which turns into next year and *Poof* Are you seeing a trend?
And finally we have my diet. Same sad, pathetic story. I wonder if I were 135 lbs, if I'd try harder to stay there? kinda like 2 years worth of bills sitting there, what's 4 more pieces of paper. 299 lbs of fat on me, like 2 more cookies will make a difference. It's kinda like I am more concerned with making today good (Spending less time paying bills, buying what I want, eating what I want). And I don't worry too much about the consequences of tomorrow. It's a vicious cycle. Is that Instant Gratification?