Being irritated by Facebook
 

So yet another Facebook post by someone who has never been overweight, always thin - "My worth is not determined by the pounds on a scale." Yep, while I get this is probably technically accurate, it really torques me. Too easy for her to say. She really doesn't understand the feedback she hasn't been getting from the world that would make that oh so much harder to say and believe. Actually, Honey, it is easier to get a date, easier to get a job, and even easier to get waited on in a store or restaurant. If her husband cheats on her, everyone doesn't say, well, she was so fat of course he cheated. Her perceived worth to the world is higher because she looks right.

That being said, I'd be willing to bet almost all of us on this board are very good and worthwhile human beings. And I think it is awesome that we are making healthy choices about food and exercise and treating our bodies, ourselves, like we matter whether or not anyone else treats us that way.

I kind of get where you're coming from, but at the same time, I feel like anyone, regardless of their weight, or how we perceive them, can have issues with confidence over what the scale says. It's hard for us to place ourselves in anyone's struggle with weight and it may look like of x person should have it all together in terms of their weight but we never really know what's going on behind closed doors for them.

Let me give an example. Last year I got to the 150s and a normal weight coming down from a high of 275 lbs, after having been obese my entire life. I had never had a skinny phase, not even as a kid. After maintaining for a year, I recently gained 20 or so pounds and that's tough to swallow because as you know, 20 lbs is no mean feat, plus my clothes are all tight and I feel like I'm failing at maintaining. So when I step on the scale and it's a higher figure, it DOES require a pep talk, even though by society's standards, I shouldn't necessarily be falling apart over it. Sometimes we're our own worst critics, worse even than society and many times, we're the only ones who can pick ourselves up.

That said, it used to annoy me, when skinny friends said they "felt fat" or "looked fat." It's only as I got closer to goal that I realized that in the end what society thinks of you is not necessarily identical to how you perceive yourself.

Well put Toasted. I totally understand your frustration though! I get irritated when people on fb equate fatness with incompetence.

I never thought of that phrase to have anything to do with the world's perception of my weight. I always thought it was more of a self affirmation phrase.

I think in some ways, being morbidly obese virtually all of my life makes it much EASIER for me to say and truly believe, "My worth is not deternined by the pounds on a scale."

How much harder it has to be for "thin, beautiful" people to know whether they're bringing anything of value to the table other than their toned body, clear skin, shiny hair and pearly teeth.

The more people (of ALL sizes) who "get it" the better. If EVERYONE believed weight is not worth, the better the world is for everyone, so I get really excited when I see ANYONE overtly objecting to a scale-based value system.

And it's even more encouraging to hear it from someone who hasn't suffered with disordered eating or thoughts about eating (unfortunately, that's pretty rare, though).

I think perhaps she meant her "self-worth" is not determined by the pounds on the scale.

I agree that my perceived worth is absolutely affected by my weight -- which is inaccurate but still a reality. However, my self-worth should not be affected by my weight. I am ever bit as valuable to myself heavy as I am thin.