Good Evening Everyone. Just a small note to let you all know that I am still alive and kicking though I have been through he// the past 6 months or so.

Most of you know my story my soon to be ex husband and I separated last May and he moved into the den until October until he could save enough money to move himself and his belongings to Arizona and in with a brother. The stress of living with him, taking care of my mother, working, and life took me off my journey and I slowly started putting weight back on.

In December my boyfriend (who lived in Florida) mother passed away and in January of this year my boyfriend moved across country and in with me. Things were getting back on track slowly, ever so slowly.

February arrived and so did my soon to be ex husband. He moved back to Las Vegas, now not just anywhere in Las Vegas but right back into the apartment complex I lived in with my boyfriend and mother (just a couple of buildings down to be exact). So now I have to see him everyday out walking his dog in the mornings when I leave for work and in the afternoon when I come home. I start the divorce process (which I am still working on) every time I go to file they find something wrong with the paperwork. Stress, Eat, Stress, Eat. . .

I deal with this for months then at the end of June my soon to be ex packs up his belongings and moved back to Pennsylvania where he lived when we met six years ago. Relief, finally I can work on getting back on track again.

July arrives I am happy, content, things are starting to get back to normal. Then the morning of July 3 I wake up with this heartbeat thumping noise in my ear. It is annoying and comes and goes all day, and the next day, and the next day, then it starts getting louder and lasting longer each time it occurs. Tuesday, July 9 I wake up 2 hours late for work and running a fever. I jump out of bed and instantly almost fall over and managed to make it to the restroom and proceeded to start puking. I called out sick and made a doctors appointment. My doctor exams me and gives me medication to treat the symptoms and makes me an appointment to go see an ENT. The ENT says my inner ear is extremely swollen and infected an places me on a 14 day prednisone treatment and takes me off work. The prednisone is a horrible medication and it takes about three days before I am able to lift my head of the pillow without puking.

Today, I have finished the predisone treatment, my Vitamin D levels are extremely low, my bad cholesterol is extremely high, my period is due any second now and according to the scale this morning I weigh 272.4 Now I realize that is not an accurate number I am retaining fluid from the predisone and I am retaining fluid because of TOM but I am just very overwhelmed and sad that I have gained back 30 pounds since my lowest weight which was 242.

I need a hug, or a swift kick in the butt, or both maybe? I don't know.

I am going to give you a big hug.

Be gentle with yourself. You have been under enormous stress and you are recovering from a bad illness. After you have a chance to recover and your TOM has passed, hopefully you can do a few things to reduce stress (like exercise, sleep, meditate, take time alone) and then you can refocus on weight loss.

Try to take things on one at a time. I know you are feeling overwhelmed but I hope you can be easy on yourself.

You need hugs. *hugs* You've been ill and horribly stressed, so don't beat yourself up too badly!

A hug from me too

I'll give you a hug for that.

*hugs* First concentrate on getting back to 100% health, then worry about the diet. once you are at that point, wait for a week or so before getting back on the scale, or at the very least just remind yourself that the number won't be accurate for a week or so.

Once you see that number, it will likely be higher than you'd like. At that point remind yourself that you have done it before and can sure as heck do it again!!!!

Hugs, you have had enough kicks. Good for you for coming here for support

Don't forget the 180 or so pounds you lost when the ex moved out of state, lol! you should definitely count that

Hugs

You are still here and that is important. Get well and things will fall into place.

Thank you everyone for all the hugs and support. I am really trying to get well and back on track but it seems to be extra hard this time. I am going to weigh myself Monday now that I feel enough time has passed from the medication and TOM. I am sure I will not be happy to see the number looking back at me but I have to know where I am starting.

I agree, you need a hug!

I hope things are getting better and brighter for you! Sounds like you've had a rough few months. I've had some issues lately and I had been barely hanging on the wagon before that, but I've realized it's time to focus on me now and getting healthy.