I'm ready to lose weight for myself. I am tired of being fat. This probably sounds really messed up to some people the things I have started doing. I dread it when I leave my home, I'm afraid to run into someone I might know and they look at me and thinking..."she is so fat now". What's really sad, when I am around a group of people I will be the last one to get up and leave so no one will look at me. This makes me so sad and a feeling of not being worthy. Its not right and I have started my diet to try to change and help myself. Listening to all these stories have really helped me. One day at a time.

1Chunkychicken. I do the same thing. I will enter a room and find a back corner seat and stay there so no one will look at me.

I am just holding on. Not on plan just counting calories and weighing.

I see no end to being fat. I was born this way and have been stuck in the fat zone all my life. I just need to get it together. I have a cruise the first week in Oct and I want to be fit. I am not even going to make a weight lose goal just exercise and eat right. Having goals is so hard because I fail every time. Failing myself has become a constant in my life lately. I just need to get myself together and follow a plan.

Negative thoughts swirl around me. I have changed so much and not in a good way. I want to be a good person and I struggle with even being good to myself and this causes me to stay away from others. It is a sad life.

LoseToAll. That is just an awful feeling isn't it? I gain, I lose and gain again. I never weigh myself (I guessed my weight on here), I just measure. How I feel in my clothes is all that counts. What's hard is when I gain a lot of weight, I get very depressed and eating makes me feel so much better. Its something to look forward to when your watching a good movie...grab a bag of chips, ice cream or whatever. It gives me comfort. Its so hard to change that lifestyle. I am the queen of negative.....ugghhhhh! we can do this together. Talking about it helps me. I will try to help you to if I can. You get ready for that cruise, we CAN DO THIS.

Yeah... I don't know if it's cuz I'd rather be the first one to say the hurtful things about my body than hear it first from others.. maybe that's why I self-berate... as a strange way of protecting myself..?

But I walked yesterday and the day before... I have foot problems and am not allowed to run or jump or do any aerobic activity which is sad cuz I loved running (didn't think I would when I first started). And I'm also trying to do the intermittent fasting thing...sigh.. just for today imma do my best to be good!! :D Thanks for the encouragement!

I do the SAME thing!! I am ALL THE TIME avoiding social settings where I think someone who knew me when I had lost all my weight will be there. Seriously! I avoid it like the plague. It is a very miserable way to live.

I also don't like to go eat at buffets because it feels like everyone is judging me. I am sure everyone there is focusing on their food and plate and not mine, but that is my own conscience bothering me, and it is hard to live with.

But.....we can do this - yes again! We know we are the same person deep inside (except with the guilt). We still have the same talents, potential, love for our families, strengths, and passions. We turn ourselves into something less by letting the social setting intimidate us, but guilt is a very powerful feeling, and this is a very good reason for us to get this weight back off. We can do it! Hugs to everyone here today who might be feeling down. You are still worth a hug. You are still worthy of a good life, friendship, and companionship. We just have to believe in ourselves even while we are on our way back down. :hug:

SO Exactly the same. I see a trend! Ok so I do not actually have to lose 100 lbs but at my height, really I might as well and this applies to use all apparently!

I cover up. It's hot out yet I wear a jacket so people can't see just how big I am (somehow this makes sense in my mind!). I see people I have not seen in 6 months and I can see it in their faces as they look at me " Oh She got fat again!" I avoid some of my fitness classes for the same reason. It actually is a bit part of my motivation to lose wight, I HATE feeling this way. if I want to binge I think of their faces and how I want to be thin again and choose some veggies instead (which are rather yummy roasted I must say!). Take it one day at a time. Eventually you will be the first one to leave the table to ENSURE everyone looks at you! :D

The longer I work at shedding this regain the more pissed off about it I get.

I have been reading back through some of my old posts and I am massively annoyed at myself. It took me about a full year to lose these 20 pounds last time. Now I have to do it AGAIN, and I'm kidding myself that I can have most of it gone by the time I leave for India in October. Grrrr!

I'm angry because I let the regain happen. I'm angry at how I feel, that many of my nice newer clothes do not fit right any more. I am trying to channel this anger productively - like firing it up when I am white-knuckling through the urge to binge. "No Carter, remember how badly you want to undo this regain. Don't go there. Don't even go there once."

Grrrrrrr!!!!!!!

TOM started and that always puts me behind.

All your posts are amazing. You are talking about my life too.

I am going to try and use my anger as well. Maybe that will work for me instead of against me. Just working on staying in control.

Double ditto!! For me (when viewing the old posts AND progress photos) I came to tears first - then the anger came. How in the world COULD I do this to myself? Well, that is good for a while, but then I have to stop living in the past and put my efforts into the "right now." The reality right now is that it did happened, and the only thing I can do about it is work to get it back off. I know that is stating the obvious, but really, what else can I do? I cannot wallow in those angry feelings for too long because that just tends to bring me down. I have to have a new determination and a new excitement apart from what I had last time. I have to create a new happiness for the here and now. It is very hard to do, but I'm finding that I almost have to forget that I did this once before and treat this as a new journey and new challenge so those feelings of depression and anger don't consume me. They threaten me every day, but if I focus on "this is a new day and a new journey" I tend to do better. Here's wishing us all well. :hug:

Hello regainers. Still boiling mad about this regain, which I'm taking as a good sign because it's keeping me stuck to my plan like glue. I overdid it on exercise this weekend - doesn't happen to me often - and I'm hobbling around with some seriously sore thighs. But I'll take it. Weight is still not coming off any faster than these 20 pounds did the first time through but I am starting to see something like the body I had a year ago and I'm very happy about that. The definition in my arms that I was so proud of is back. Hips starting to firm up again. Grrrrr!

So I climbed all the way back up to 255lbs.
I'm stopping the slippery slope of regaining weight TODAY.

So yeah, no more gaining. Only losing and getting more tone and fit!

How's everyone doing today?

I am off plan and I have no willpower to get on track. Too much stress and I am just off.

I am still counting calories and weighing in but I just can not stay on plan. I am still thoughtful of what I am eating and maintain at same 3 lbs up and down.

I wish I liked to exercise then I would have an outlet but I detest it and doing it is a chore of huge cost to me. I know I am just whining thanks for listening. Today is another day to stay on plan wish me luck.

Day 1 and 2 went very well.
So far this morning Day 3 is going well. I have a lot of mini goals for the day set in place, and my main motivation right now is being healthy enough to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy. My husband and I are so excited to start our family, and I want to be able to have a body ready for that!

Stayed with fruits and veggies until dinner then had pizza pocket. Need to start exercising again. Still at 233 and just fighting the same three lbs. another weekend to work through. The weekends are my downfall. With everybody home and having to cook three meals a day makes me spend more time in the kitchen and eat more.

How is everybody doing?

I've been traveling, etc. WAY off my focus here. Weight went up again to 317 lbs. a couple days ago. Have been working at getting back on course and I'm down to 314 today.

I had planned to do a 24-hour fast starting last night, but the last thing I ate was quite carby, not enough protein either, and that led me to some intense hunger this morning. Switched plans and focused on going low carb instead and eating lots of non-starchy vegetables and adequate protein and fat. I think I'll do that all weekend, staying off all sweets and starchy carbs entirely. And then I'll do a 24-hour fast. I've been overeating. That's got to stop!

I really don't do well in the summer. It's been so dang hot, and my sleep cycle is entirely messed up. This leads me to inappropriate eating just to stay awake and energized during the day. Vicious cycle. Fortunately I'm keeping up with my exercise.