It takes a lot of strength going there knowing "you are a square
Peg trying to fit in a round hole":hug::D .i know I would feel out of place....but you did it!:carrot: Pat yourself on meeting that challenge! Give yourself time to hit your stride and feel comfortable.:hug:

We all have are own issues so ....probably the others are thinking about their stuff not yours.:dizzy:

Unless someone directly said something to me Itwould not even be on my Radar!
Hey we are all beginners at one time or another ...cut yourself some slack ...and enjoy being the Newbie..:carrot:

Good Luck,Roo2:carrot::carrot::carrot:

Thank you for sharing this. I really loved it. =)

I truly think that my only problem when it comes to weight loss is the complete and utter lack of connection my body has with my mind. If the 2 were connected, I'd be a super model. But they aren't, and it's a process and it will happen, but it takes so long, and it is emotionally debilitating, I understand. Good luck to you in your classes! =)

And OOOOH...MY...GOODDDNEEESSSS....
I forgot one part of today's class!!!

I had to sit on a small little exercise ball! It was only about 9 inches wide. Oh goodness gracious. I thought certainly I was going to pop the stupid thing. It was a bit scary for a second. It didn't pop. I was relieved. LOL.

This made me a bit emotional, as well. This is pretty awesome.

Also- I subscribed to Women's Running Magazine yesterday.

Lunarsongbird, thankyou for being so honest with us! I read all these posts about "I'm doing a 5k", and " I want a workout buddy" etc... And I just think... What the?

For example. My bf lives in a 3rd floor flat. At the top of a big hill. With stairs. For so long I'd avoid going back to the house with him because I was so mortified about having to take breaks, sweating like a pig. A friend suggested we do body pump classes together. I declined because I don't want to embarrass myself in front of my friend. I work in a bar attached to a dance studio. I've been asked to do classes for fun, but I'd be mortified serving people after them seeing the state I'd be in a class.

I'm not a big sociable person. But does that stop me from going out running? Does it stop me from going to the gym or a class, or swimming or skating alone? No. The fact that OTHER PEOPLE ARE THERE stops me doing these things, or rather - my insecurity about it. I won't even do 30DS when someone's in the house because it sounds like I'm trying to bring down the building.

I really don't like my body at the moment. But I will say, I love it. I'm sorry for the years of cr*p I've put it through and I enjoy treating it better. It is sheer embarrassment, ok... mortification... and a bit of shame that stops me getting other people involved. It even makes me unsettled when someone notices I've lost weight. Like... If I put it back on, what will they think then? Not that it matters what THEY think, but I'll be thinking it myself. I couldn't do it. And now everyone knows it. It's not like debt, which is hidden behind layers of security, you wear it everywhere. I feel like I'm wearing years of self-hatred, depression and failure. It's not just exercising in public, it's BEING in public. I used to love socialising sometimes. I hope I get that back.

So, for now, I walk. I do weights when I'm alone. I let my eating take care of most of it. I'm still trying to work this one out with myself. I really do think it'll be a case of eating my way down to my "not fat" weight of about 170 before I venture out in public.

I have so much admiration for you, for all of you, who are getting on with it in spite of these feelings :grouphug:

That's a really honest and brave post. I don't think it's necessarily a big person/smaller person thing. I know LOTS of naturally skinny women who absolutely LOATHE their bodies, completely fixated on the tiniest thing. Some even fixate and hate things there's no hope of ever changing - like feet size! wow!

Not every fat person has BAD body image, and not every thin person has GOOD body image.

at 323 pounds I did not love how I looked, but I always loved ME. As I was losing, i felt regret for what I'd done to myself. I found it hard to accept praise for losing so much weight - I mean after all, I was the idiot who dumped it all ON THERE in the first place right???

But as I lost, and toned up a bit, I thought "hey those collarbones are nice!" or "my arm fat doesn't jiggle so much now" stuff like that and felt very accomplished indeed!

What's done is done, and you're working to change things. No one benefits from you hating your body, but that's all inside you - we can't compliment you into loving yourself, or just say "stop it, love your body" it doesn't work that way, change comes from within you alone.

My only advice is, when those thoughts creep in, let it motivate you to get up and do something to change your mind

Isn't that the truth!? I think that is one of the reasons that I like body work...It's me. Me alone. No one can push me into a plank or hold me in a position. My body and I have to do that- and in doing so, we work on our relationship.

Lunar I completely understand struggling with the mind and body connection. It is honestly a daily struggle for me, almost like a tug of war, and some days it drives me nuts. I thought it was really sweet and pretty amazing that your instructor took the time to find you after class and speak with you and offer to help you. I heard barre classes are fun, I would love to do one myself!

I encountered a problem last night, in front of my husband, in which my mind-body connection was at war. I was tearful and explained to him I felt inadequate even though I have no reason to feel that way, just because of extra weight. He was so patient and kind and let me get out a lot of insecurity that I had been holding in since I put on so much weight after we got married. But it helped me, it helped to talk about it and to be open with someone about what I am dealing with, and it made us stronger and closer as a result. I feel more at peace today than yesterday, just know you are definitely not alone in that struggle!