[Iheartsushi418]

Well some of it at least.

My family and I recently moved into our new home and I am still unpacking boxes. The most recent box I unpacked had my clothes in it. I had to wash everything because it had been in storage and as I'm taking every thing out of the dryer and putting it on hangers I'm thinking "Why don't I ever wear this?" The clothes weren't my professional clothes from when I was working, but rather nicer casual clothes. Everything I hung was really nice and attractive and I couldn't remember the last time had worn it. A couple of things I took the tag off of to wash. The whole time I am thinking "These are really nice and don't look like 'fat girl' clothes at all".

Then I got hit with an epiphany. I don't wear these clothes because all I want to wear are 'fat girl' clothes. I live in my sweats and yoga pants (do they still count as yoga pants if no yoga is done in them?). I don't wear my cute sandals because all I want to wear are my sneakers and crocs (don't judge me). I also don't take the time to do my make up, or do my hair, can't remember the last time I did my nails, etc. I don't do any of this because I feel like, why bother?

And, believe me when I tell you, that is not me. I am a girly girl on the inside and wouldn't run out for a gallon of milk if I wasn't in full make-up before I gained the weight. But now I just throw on a pair of stretchy pants, a clean shirt, throw my hair up in a pony and go. Maybe I'll put on some lip gloss if I can't find my chapstick.

Well not anymore. I'm already fat, and I'm gonna be fat until I get the weight off, but I can dress that fat up in fabulous clothes.