Confessions? Admissions? Struggling!
 

Hi girls,
I'm sorry to come in and out and pop and go.. but I've been really struggling over the past few months. Perhaps I'm trying to hide from the cold naked truth that I haven't lost a pound and kept it off in the last 6 months? I don't know.

The truth of it is I'm struggling. I find excitement and commitment only to lose it like 5 days later. I can't stick to anything. I've tried EVERYTHING and I can't stick to any of it.

I think perhaps I'm just lazy - I don't want to do this anymore. It doesn't seem fair for me to have to slave over every ounce and focus on every bite of food that goes into my mouth.

I don't know.

But I just thought I would check in and share. I don't know a lot of you, but I do know some of you... and I just wanted to poke my head in yet again.

hey you. i keep on you as much as i can. you do get *very* motivated on those days though, just try to keep it going!! you'll get there... we all will. we were smart enough to come here for support, right??

Hi Beth Anne, so glad to see you!

About six months ago, I was EXACTLY where you are now. I was even to the point of lying about it to my family. i would tell them that I was really sticking with it, and then I would go order a Papa John's Pizza. I was hiding behind the brief comfort that food would give me. I so desperately wanted to lose weight but could not reach deep down inside far enough to give it a full hearted effort.

Then around St. Paddy's Day, something clicked with me. I joined Weight Watchers, and felt great because that was a first step that could help me make the next steps. I like the "controlled freedom" that WW gives you, and I loved trying new low cal recipes and that discipline led to gaining more discipline, and I started walking outside everyday. At last weigh-in I've lost 20 pounds (with a new total hopefully coming tomorrow!) :crossed:

At the heart of it all, for me it has become a journey with God. I would NEVER impose my beliefs on another person, but I remember you as a person of faith. For me, I talked to God about it, really, truly, and honestly, prayed about it, asked for His help and waited for Him to help me. And He did. He'll do the same for you if you want Him to.

:grouphug: You can do this ~ reach down deep inside where the real Beth Anne lives and it will click for you too!

Hey BethAnne...There's a really cool thread on here called "yeah, but..." I'm going to pull it up for you and take the liberty of adding some "yeah, buts...." for you.

And I feel your pain about being sick of the struggle. Miss Chris started a thread on our lifetime relationships with food. Don't know if you've seen it or not, but I'm going to find it and pull that one up for you, too.

Stay Strong, Sister!:strong:

Ya know, you would think that I would WANT To be thin because I'm getting shoved MAJORLY into the limelight now -

up front every Sunday at church singing and playing guitar with the worship team...
we started a band and we already have a few shows lined up...

I think I'm just hiding behind my fat - and the fact that right now I weigh what I did when Greg and I got married - perhaps holding onto the past too tightly?

I just feel like if I can just get into the 240s... I can get somewhere.... please oh please just let me hang on until the 240s...

Hey Beth Anne...

I am having the same problems... what keeps me going? I don't EVER want to be higher then my highest weight. I know that attitude is not going to help me lose weight...but it keeps me coming here :)

baby steps Beth Anne... baby steps !


Dana

Beth Anne, Dana... I'm so glad to see you two posting. You probably won't remember me, but I was so looking forward to seeing your posts again. I struggle so much, just like you Beth Anne. And I most definitely hide behind my weight. I've done pretty good the past couple of days. I decided to look in to the low-carb programs, as that seems to be a huge issue for me. I've been doing a lot of reading, spent 1.5 hours two days in a row at the grocery store reading labels, not caring what ANYONE thought of me as I was going through.... LOL! I've talked my husband in to trying to change things around here.

I *WANT* to lose weight... number 1. I know I *HAVE* to lose weight... number 2. I know that I am playing dangerous games with my health, and I want to be able to live a full life. And if I want to do that, I'm going to need to make my health a priority.

I am going to try VERY VERY hard to commit myself to things, and that includes this forum. It does me good!

Dana, how are things in the Green Bay area??

And whenohwhenohwhen do I get "senior member" below my forum name??? People with less posts have gotten "senior member", but not me.... *Waaaah*... And I've been around on & off for quite awhile...

Okay, so there's my little whine of the day!!! LOL!

Hey Sandi K. -
I sure do remember you.

I'm trying to low carb it too - a modified zone diet of sorts... Just concentrating on not only the points but the actual WHAT of what goes in my mouth because I figured out I was cutting out all fats, including what my body needed, or sacrificing healthy food for something I wanted.

You can change your little title to whatever you want in the User CP area... so go to town babe! I have no idea when it switches automatically, sorry.

Glad to see you girlies (((hugs)))

I think the real key to this is to remember that a lot of us are really and truly...

FOOD ADDICTS.

We just can't control ourselves. The scary thing is, unlike being addicted to alcohol, or drugs, or cigarettes, you can't just completely eliminate food from your life. You have to eat to survive.

What I have had to do is go through my house and get rid of anything I will "binge eat". I've gotten better choices for food's I just cannot live with out (such as no-sugar added ice cream). I fill up on "bulk" foods with low calories (such as broccoli, air popped popcorn). And I ask the people around me to watch out for me.

I also have learned I cannot let myself get too hungry - because if I do, I eat until I feel full, which is usally WAYYY past "really" full.

The whole point is, you can move on, and there are always new days. But, also, if you know you are eating too much, don't consider the day wasted, instead get back on track as SOON as you possibly can.

You are not alone... none of you are... we are all in this together.

Does this sound familiar? You posted it on 3-25-03.

BA - I know this journey gets frustrating. Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair. Bottom line - it isn't fair - we all want to be naturally thin people. But you were right - we are addicts. And that is something that we have to accept. Our cross to bear. And sometimes it's ok to be tired of trying. But BethAnne - don't give up - Don't ever give up. Go and read some of your old posts when you first came here. Your excitement was addicting. Maybe re-visiting those feeling will help you get in touch with them.

Whoa Sandi - that totally freaked me out. I said that? Wow. I guess I'm pretty smart. Time to take those smarts out and use them on myself.

Hey Beth Anne,

I've been following up reading your journal for a while now, I hope you don't mind. You've been going through alot of bad times lately and I know that can sap ones motivation. Just know that there are people here who will be there to support you no matter what. All of us have had periods of time when we were very close to giving up.

One day OP will lead to 2 days OP...etc.

Beth Anne,

We're behind you and here for you on the good days and the bad.

You will cross the abyss when you are ready lady. Before then its just frustration. So find your way to hapiness and if losing weight is important to you, it will float to the top.

Miss Chris

Bethanne,

HUGS!

You're forgetting the most important thing that you've done-you've kept off a forty pound weight loss!!! That is absolutely amazing-you know how many people lose weight and gain it righ back? You didn't do that. Congratulate yourself on what an accomplishment you've already made, instead of beating yourself up for it not being more. You must be doing a lot right to be able to keep it off.

Sherry

Congrats on losing and keeping off those 40 pounds!
 

I am having a hard time also. The weight at 48 is coming off slower and taking more effort than ever before. It is very frustrating. I have tried it all in the last few months. I did Susanne Somers then Atkins and now back to Susan Powters. I don't think the diet plan is a real issue as they all will work if you expend more energy (calories) than we eat. I am finding that keeping popcycles in the freezer helps. Either fudgecycles or fruit juice popcycles or just plan ole' frozen popcycles (less than 50 calories each) has been a help to me. I borrowed the book by Dr. Shapiro (Picture Perfect Weight Loss) and it was helpful.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if it was a easy to lose as it is to gain?:(