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-   -   Dreading Wednesday (My Birthday) (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/258603-dreading-wednesday-my-birthday.html)

SmallSteps 05-07-2012 09:45 PM

Dreading Wednesday (My Birthday)
 
Wednesday is my birthday. I have told both the women in my department I do not want a big fuss made over my birthday and under no circumstances do I want a cake. To which the response was "Of course we are getting you a cake, one slice will not hurt you" Really how dare I think I could deny the whole office a reason to buy and eat cake!! They only have a bakery in the break room every freaking day!!

I am really at a loss of what to do. Would it be rude to throw the cake in the trash can right in front of them since I already requested that they DO NOT buy it! :dizzy:

Brandis 05-07-2012 10:11 PM

I think you say "Thank you very much for the cake-it is lovely." And then walk away. If they act offended, just say "Well now there's more for you guys to enjoy." One piece will not hurt, and it definitely will not help, either. Maybe you could tell them you're allergic to icing? Just kidding, but I know the exact situation. We have a countertop at work that is known as "the free to a good home counter," the "whose food is this? Well, yours, silly!" counter,"the buffet table," "the five pounds a month area," and the "grazing lands." And it is always overflowing with fill in the blank. Chips and salsa, brownies, chips, pretzels, cake, ice cream, pizza, whatever. And the drawer underneath is full of chocolate. This is the reason I gained so much weight working there. I couldn't control myself. It is always someone's birthday, or someone got a wild hair for baking, clients flood our intestines with liquefied sugars and fats, or a rep brings us lunch, or pastries. We work right next door to McDonald's, Dunkin' Donuts, and Steak n' Shake. It is ridiculous. And it has to stop. Nobody has to eat cake just because it is their birthday. And no one should be offended that someone else does not wish to eat said cake on their birthday. Appreciate the thought, and let the hogs slop up whatever is left at the trough. You can walk away knowing that you might live to another birthday- and just a little healthier.

SmallSteps 05-07-2012 10:16 PM

Just IRKS me that I am having cake that I do not want FORCED on me! lol

funnycanadiangirl 05-07-2012 10:29 PM

It was recently my birthday, and I never tell anyone - I always figure my mother should be the one getting the attention, since she had to carry me around!

Anyways, word got out and a very thoughtful colleague baked for me. I know that the cake seems frustrating, but this is what I did. I made sure to offer everyone a piece first - giving credit to the baker. I talked to people that I literally NEVER talk to just to give away cake.

By the end, everyone was distracted by cake, I claimed to already have had a piece, and when there was one left over I said I would save it for later... and then made my buddy eat it!

Focus on the positive - at least they want to celebrate you!

caramelkitty 05-07-2012 10:34 PM

Awwww!!! let them eat the cake. Honestly, if you don't want to have it, don't. It's your decision. I had a cake at the office at my birthday, what I did was take a piece back to my desk, take a tiny piece and politely threw out the rest. hahahaha but I agree with funnycanadiangirl they want to celebrate you! :)

luckystreak 05-07-2012 10:50 PM

You should let them know how much this diet means to you, but it is your birthday! Maybe a low fat cake? like a tiny slice of homemade plain lemon cake or carrot cake? Enjoy your birthday and celebrate with your friends. :)

SmallSteps 05-07-2012 10:55 PM

They do not want to celebrate me they just need a reason to bring a cake the size of a football field into the office to graze on all day!! LOL

Why does birthday equal CAKE!?

Tai 05-08-2012 12:53 AM

Happy Birthday a bit early! Maybe you could just politely take a small piece with you back to your desk then trash it when no one's looking. Or possibly take a piece and pawn it off on someone else!

kimminy 05-08-2012 01:06 AM

Maybe tell them you'd really rather have a fruit basket or a veggie platter instead??
If they're set on cake though, there will probably be no dissuading them. So just have itty bitty piece or try what funnycanadiangirl said :)

Elliemar 05-08-2012 02:26 AM

I like funnycanadiangirl's suggestion - a neat and tactful way of getting round the problem. The taking it back to your desk "to have with coffee in a while" works well too, Coffee gets drunk and cake somehow disappears... ;)

Happy Birthday too! :)

sontaikle 05-08-2012 03:40 AM

I'll always say "I'll have some in a little bit" when there are things served that I don't want. Most times people forget you never had any.

That said, unless you have some serious issues with sugar, don't be afraid to have something like that now and then :) On my birthday I had some cheesecake and just made sure to allow for it in the day's calories! That was a month ago and the weight is still off, haha.

If it's crappy, store-bought cake I wouldn't want to waste the calories though...it had better be worth it!!

If you REALLY want to control things, offer to make a cake yourself! You can tailor it to your specifications, you'll know what's in it and everyone will hopefully respect your wishes and not buy a cake. I made my own cake last year because I wanted it a certain way. My family just kind of shrugged and went along with it.

Have a happy birthday!!

sluggerbean 05-08-2012 09:18 AM

Belinda, remember that 9 times out of 10 when someone says that they don't want a fuss made about his/her special day, they really do. This is part of what your co-workers are thinking. They haven't clued in to the fact that you are serious about it. Let them bring the cake. If you don't want any then don't have any; just don't make a big deal about it. I agree with funnycanadiangirl...distract them by serving and they will never know you didn't have any! ;)

Besides, you have had a hard time lately...let them celebrate you and enjoy the positive attention! :hug:

Stay strong my friend!!

cestlavie22 05-08-2012 09:38 AM

Use the doctor. As in it was so nice of you to make that for me, but my doctor said i can't have any: (insert, wheat, sugar, etc).

mostly people won`t argue with the doctor excuse. good luck!

XLMuffnTop 05-08-2012 10:27 AM

I agree with what someone said above: As them to bring a fruit or veggie platter instead. If they say no, you have to have cake then it has nothing to do with you but rather their insatiable need to have cake at the drop of a hat. In which case, they really don't care if you have a piece or not and I wouldn't stress over it one bit.

linJber 05-08-2012 10:32 AM

Just let her bring in the cake. Then decide how you want to deal with it. At your snappiest, say thanks and refuse to take a piece as it's passed around and offer no excuse. At your most pleasant, say thanks, take a piece and take it to your desk.

Actually, at your snappiest, yell, "Would you give whiskey to an alcoholic? I told you I didn't want a cake!" Then throw the whole thing in the trash. You'd probably feel better but no one would admit to being your friend any longer. That would solve things for the next several birthdays!

Good luck. Resist or don't. It's just one piece of cake. In the long run, those calories hardly matter. I know all the reasons to say no. No need to go into that. But we do have to remember that the rest of the world continues in their set ways and we need to deal with it, today, tomorrow, and forever.

Happy Birthday. Try to enjoy it!

Linl

Ronja 05-08-2012 10:40 AM

I would not worry too much about a little piece of cake myself, but if you do - you do NOT have to eat anything you don't want.

If I felt I didn't want to upset anyone I'd just use the health excuse..got me out of many situations that I didn't feel comfortable with :) At any rate, Happy Birthday!!!

SmallSteps 05-08-2012 11:16 AM

I am just going to call in sick tomorrow and fix them all!! *insert evil laugh*

Goddess Jessica 05-08-2012 11:29 AM

My previous company's CEO was friends with a culinary student/pastry chef. He hired her to make all sorts of elaborate cakes and pastries for birthdays in the office. The problem was: Her desserts were unpalatable. Perhaps because I am a fat girl, I know good desserts and that skinny pastry chef had no idea what she was doing. But people tend to eat and enjoy free food (even if it's bad).

Being a boss, I had to go and sing happy birthday. People would pass around cake and I would say, "I haven't had lunch yet! No dessert before lunch." (Which is actually true. I don't ever eat dessert before real food). Or if it was late afternoon, I would take a piece of cake with me back to my desk and promptly throw it in the garbage. To be clear, it was never because I didn't want cake. I just didn't want gross waxy cake. If it's not delicious, it's not worth the calories.

I hope you are celebrating your birthday even if you don't want cake. And I hope you allow people to celebrate with you even if they don't know how to celebrate without cake.

toastedsmoke 05-08-2012 12:13 PM

I actually think it's nice your colleagues want to do something to mark your birthday, even if it's an excuse for them to graze. The whole cake thing is part of the accepted birthday ritual.

If it was my birthday, I'd have a piece of cake. But if it's going to throw you off, then certainly don't eat it. You can be gracious and cut out generous pieces to give out and say you'll have your piece later (which will never come). You can even bring foil and send everyone home happy with cake for their families. That's what I did last year on my birthday. I had a large piece of delicious black forest cake, enjoyed it and made sure none of the rest of the remained in my possession AND was immensely popular with all my friends!

Munchy 05-08-2012 12:17 PM

I don't like cake, but my colleagues sometimes celebrate birthdays with it.

I have probably had at least four cake celebrations at work and one every year with my family since I was a kid.

I never eat the cake because I don't like it. People love to celebrate with cake (if you like cake or not) - let them! Smile and chit chat and thank everyone for being so thoughtful. It's sweet for them to think of you.

Now if they got me french fries... :devil:

junebug44 05-08-2012 12:46 PM

grrr....I hate feeling pressured to eat things that are simply not worth the calories. It makes me grumpy. I feel your pain. BUT Happy Birthday!!!

SmallSteps 05-08-2012 09:55 PM

I am going to go to work tomorrow and "graciously" pass out cake, even though I would rather just forget the day all together!

Nancy45can do 05-08-2012 10:32 PM

this is a great suggestion
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by funnycanadiangirl (Post 4324890)
It was recently my birthday, and I never tell anyone - I always figure my mother should be the one getting the attention, since she had to carry me around!

Anyways, word got out and a very thoughtful colleague baked for me. I know that the cake seems frustrating, but this is what I did. I made sure to offer everyone a piece first - giving credit to the baker. I talked to people that I literally NEVER talk to just to give away cake.

By the end, everyone was distracted by cake, I claimed to already have had a piece, and when there was one left over I said I would save it for later... and then made my buddy eat it!

Focus on the positive - at least they want to celebrate you!

Thank you for sharing the above suggestion, I hope to remember it and use it some day.

SarahFairhope 05-09-2012 07:59 AM

Happy Birthday SmallSteps!! :D

sluggerbean 05-09-2012 09:37 AM

Happy Birthday, Belinda!!!!! :bday2you:


Have a great one and stay strong!!

junebug44 05-09-2012 11:14 AM

Happy Birthday friend :)

Luceia 05-09-2012 11:27 AM

Woooooohappy Birthday Smallsteps!!!:bday2:

Bobbles 05-09-2012 01:59 PM

Happy birthday!!! :)

Riddy 05-09-2012 07:55 PM

Happy Birthday! Hope it's wonderful!

And I hope you survived the cake situation. :lol:

Martine 05-09-2012 10:48 PM

Hope you've been having a great birthday, cake or not!:)

erh12275 05-09-2012 11:01 PM

Happy Birthday...would you like a piece of cake? :devil: Just kidding. Wondering how it went.

linJber 05-10-2012 12:17 AM

So - how did it go?

Lin

SmallSteps 05-10-2012 01:39 AM

http://d21c.com/Belinda/7167554112_2e8da23fa7_b.jpg

They bought me the cake, it was beautiful and I gave it ALL away! I did not eat a bite or even stick my finger in the icing! :carrot:

Thank you each and everyone for all the birthday wishes it really means the world to me that you all took time to remember me on my special day. :hug:

salsa chip 05-10-2012 05:45 AM

Oh that is such a beautiful cake! Bless 'em for making it for you and to celebrate your birthday! Also - go you for not giving in to eating something you didn't want to, cake or no cake :D

SmallSteps 05-10-2012 03:39 PM

Yes it was very beautiful and you could smell the sugar when you took the top off of the container. I have a picture and no calories to remember it by!

caramelkitty 05-10-2012 04:14 PM

I'm a baker, and I have to say that cake is beautiful. LOL

And IM SO PROUD OF YOU for not eating a bit!! :) that's a great bday gift you gave yourself!! xo HAPPY BDAY AGAIN!

linJber 05-10-2012 08:54 PM

Great job! I knew you could do it! The cake is beautiful. and I can just smell the sugar from your description. But you really have the right attitude - the picture will last forever. And so will the memory of NO CAKE CALORIES!

Lin


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