We cannot delude ourselves into thinking we are thin and look fabulous. We are not thin.
We cannot be a runway model at our size. We are missing out a lot in life by being so overweight. We are limiting our dating and job opportunities.
We will have a much better time and look a lot better in our clothes when we weigh around 130 pounds.
And we will be a lot healthier. We will live longer.
I know. I am at 188 pounds and am going back down to 130... But I plan on staying down there. No yo-yo for me.
To be the best you can be, you must make up your mind once and for all to be thin also. And when you get down to 130...go into maintenance.
Most of us on this forum need to make a complete lifestyle change. Being overweight is not a good lifestyle for any of us here.
No one here is deluding themselves. People are talking about feeling good about themselves at a certain weight/size, and there's nothing wrong with that. Loving oneself and feeling good about oneself are things that we are all entitled to, and we all SHOULD feel like that, even if we aren't "thin".
I have no desire to be a runway model or 130lbs. If you do, then that's great and I wish you all the best. For me, I was happy at 170lbs and according to my doctor, healthy as can be...160 is my ultimate goal (and it's a healthy weight according to BMI), but I'd be happy at 170.
And most of us (if not all of us) on this forum are here because we are making a lifestyle change.
im not deluded by any means and as pink lotus said i dont think any of us here are .... we are all here for advise support and to share experiances .... because we all know we need to make life style changes.
i am at very similar stats to pink lotus as far as height starting weight and goal and i agree i dont want to be runway thin .... i dont want to be a 130 pounds ... if thats for you then please do it !! and be happy to have achived something you wanted ..... but its not for me ,
i think curvy is womanly and sexy and i like it
id be VERY happy at 170 ... i would feel perfect at 160 but at 170 id be happy ! extatic even
so i did the full picture thing .... i see what evreyone is saying .. the camera dosent lie (&*%$# !) lol ... i dont want to settle for being ehhh ... looking i must and will do this ! and i will post the "before" picture proudly , because the "after" picture will reflect all my hard work ... it CAN be done !
and hopefully by my birthday this year i can have some nicer arms and shoulders ....
ugh =/ they look like a line backers shoulders and i thought i looked so cute today !
I'm 5'2(ish) and my goal weight is 170. Based on a previous weight loss attempt several years ago, I expect to be a size 12 at that weight. I am very large breasted and curvy. I don't see a problem in the world with aspiring for a goal that others may not feel (for whatever reason) is "appropriate" for YOUR body.
Chunky you are a curvy sexy diva, so work it girl Just keep going by how you feel, and seriously take a good hard look in the mirror naked. OMG, that does it for me all the time. I know I'll never be model thin (I've 2 kids too) but I can still grab handfuls of fat on my belly and it's not loose skin, so for me, healthy wise, it has to go so I don't have a heart attack, or heart disease down the road. For me it's hard not to look in the mirror now (cause I've always liked how I looked) and say hey I'm look great now (I do) but to let it go to my head and think I don't need to do this lifestyle anymore....that's where I screw up and I gain it all back and I don't notice the weight coming back on and then I'm back to the beginning. So for me it's to look at myself realistically with love, objectively but not being mean to myself and say to myself that I need to do this to be healthy....the nake thing in front of the mirror works wonders! OR sit down naked and take a pic! OUCH! LOL
your right my weight is very compact ... i think that is what made me not realize how much i actually weigh .... i am happy with the way i look when i get dressed in the morning unfourtunatley the size 5 girl standing next to me at forever 21 makes me feel fat but without her there i feel fine .... lol
dont get me wrong there are definitley times i feel fat , like when im at the club and i notice evreyone is a size 2 and im amoungst a very small handful of size 16's there ... i will say i feel even borderline inferior to the other girls ... but that wont stop me from going to these events with my other girlfriends and such ....
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!
At my highest and even now, I look in the mirror and think "I look really cute today" then I get somewhere and see the "skinny" girls and it just deflates my confidence.
A couple years ago my friends and I went to try on bridesmaids dresses. Oh how I wanted to cry standing next to them looking at ourselves in those "all over, full length, front and back, show EVERYTHING" mirrors.
CHUNKEY_MUNKEY- I think you look great in your picture but you'll also look great with further weight loss too. It all comes in how you dress yourself and your self-confidence.
I also have to point out. Curves and weight are not necessarily related. Actually, as I've lost weight I've become quite a bit curvier. In terms of proportions my waist is a lot smaller now and waist to bust and waist to hip ration are at the lower end of 0.7's (and are even more extreme if you take my underbust instead of my waist) whereas before they were closer to 0.9 (at my highest weight).
MARLA26- I have to disagree. Yes, there are issues that you need to deal with when you're overweight/obese. Trust me I've dealt with them and still deal with some of them. But, when it comes to dating I'm not sure if I'd want to spend the rest of my life with someone that couldn't get past my weight as an issue. DH met me at my highest prepregnancy weight and I have to say that in a way that makes me really happy. I know he looked past my weight and saw me for who I was and loved me because of that.
Not everyone's purpose in life is to be thin. I'm an inch shorter than you and have no desire to get to 130lbs. Actually, I might not even get to the 140lbs on my ticker. It's something I haven't decided yet. Instead, I put my focus on having a fit healthy body. One that is easily maintainable for me that can lead to a long life to spend me with my kids and family. There's no need for me to look like a runway model. I just want to be at a weight that keeps me healthy and puts less pressure on my knees.
Inside me ... omg sit down and take a picture is bad enough .... naked? no no im not ready for that yet ... thats how i KNOW i need to loose some weight .... omg that actually sounds scarier than the words "Pool Party" lol ....
Mamasita lol im glad i wasnt the only one who felt that way ..... i always thought i had some sort of secret i hate skinny people complex but after evreyone elses input i feel a little more normal now ... fyi im sure you must have looked nice in your bridesmaid dress too ... i think as women were quick to compare ... the things society is doing to us ....
Runningfromfat i know , loosing weight and curves are not always hand in hand .... im hoping to lose weight to enhance my curves ... but i just wanted to point out that i never wanted to try to lose weight to the point i became a stick ... some people are into that look ... im not ,
And i also have met my significant other already , even though im sure he would like me to loose some weight i know he likes me for me , and thats the kind of guy who will stick around forever .... im actually really proud of myself in that department i never have a hard time locating a boyfriend , any guy whos worth anyones time should like them for who they are not what they look like ... Looks dont last forever !
We cannot delude ourselves into thinking we are thin and look fabulous. We are not thin.
We cannot be a runway model at our size. We are missing out a lot in life by being so overweight. We are limiting our dating and job opportunities.
We will have a much better time and look a lot better in our clothes when we weigh around 130 pounds.
And we will be a lot healthier. We will live longer.
I know. I am at 188 pounds and am going back down to 130... But I plan on staying down there. No yo-yo for me.
To be the best you can be, you must make up your mind once and for all to be thin also. And when you get down to 130...go into maintenance.
Most of us on this forum need to make a complete lifestyle change. Being overweight is not a good lifestyle for any of us here.
Um... ouch?
I don't want to be thin, I solely want to be healthy. I met my husband while overweight and he's a better guy than the type most of my thin friends date.
Thin and beautiful don't go hand in hand. There are many components that make up beautiful including personality and attitude. It seems like you're putting more emphasis on the thin part rather than the healthy aspect of weight loss. My view is reversed in part because my body is not meant to be "thin". I am broad shouldered and have wide hips (bone structure only, not including fat )
I'm not going to delude myself into thinking I can't have a great life, great lifestyle even if over weight. Again, there's no reason to STOP living life because you're over weight. No one is going to place a scale outside my door and say "Sorry fatso! Back inside! Your fat butt is fattening up society and making us look bad!"
I know I've probably over simplified this posters comments but it just got under my skin that so much emphasis was on "thin" and health was thrown in almost offhandedly.
We cannot delude ourselves into thinking we are thin and look fabulous. We are not thin.
We cannot be a runway model at our size. We are missing out a lot in life by being so overweight. We are limiting our dating and job opportunities.
We will have a much better time and look a lot better in our clothes when we weigh around 130 pounds.
And we will be a lot healthier. We will live longer.
I know. I am at 188 pounds and am going back down to 130... But I plan on staying down there. No yo-yo for me.
To be the best you can be, you must make up your mind once and for all to be thin also. And when you get down to 130...go into maintenance.
Most of us on this forum need to make a complete lifestyle change. Being overweight is not a good lifestyle for any of us here.
I don't want to jump down your throat but your way of thinking reminds me a lot of when I had an eating disorder. Please stop thinking this way, it's a self perception of yourself that your not good enough until you hit 130lbs. You are good enough no matter what the scale says. It's hard to break this way of thinking but it really isn't healthy and I struggle with the words you wrote in that post cause it triggers me back to a time in my life when I did nothing but binge and purging, I thought those things as I put my fingers down my throat.....it's not self love it's self hatred. Loving you at no matter what size you are is key, but changing to be healthy is what's needed. Not to be a certain weight on the scale or size in clothing....Please stop thinking this way, it's not healthy at all
We cannot delude ourselves into thinking we are thin and look fabulous. We are not thin.
We cannot be a runway model at our size. We are missing out a lot in life by being so overweight. We are limiting our dating and job opportunities.
We will have a much better time and look a lot better in our clothes when we weigh around 130 pounds.
And we will be a lot healthier. We will live longer.
I know. I am at 188 pounds and am going back down to 130... But I plan on staying down there. No yo-yo for me.
To be the best you can be, you must make up your mind once and for all to be thin also. And when you get down to 130...go into maintenance.
Most of us on this forum need to make a complete lifestyle change. Being overweight is not a good lifestyle for any of us here.
You hit it right on the head, especially about missing out on dating and job opportunities. I'm 50-something and am dating again - Men, both young and old are very visual creatures and always want the pretty, thin girls no matter what THEY look like. Although it's not fair, looks are the thing that attract them initially, and they don't want to be seen with someone who their friends might make fun of (fat is a big no-no.).
Likewise, studies have shown that being overweight may hurt your job opportunities when interviewing with similarly qualified thinner applicants.
Most importantly, do it for your health. You may feel great now, but wait until you're in your late 30's and up and your BP, sugar level, Cholesterol, etc. labs come back too high.
I was at 184 (size 16) and am heading straight to 140 where I intend to stay. Life is too short to spend it overweight and unhealthy.
To me thin and healthy go hand in hand. So, yes, I want to be thin and yes, I want to be healthy! My goal weight happens to be 130lbs, however, if I were over 5'5, I would probably pick something higher. I am not looking to be a runway model - I don't think there is such a thing as a 5'5 runway model anyway. However, I am looking to feel good and look good - both are important to me and I make no apologies about it.
When I was over 200lbs and even in the 190s and 180s - I simply did not feel good. Because I did not feel good, I did not look good. I was lethargic, had high blood pressure, couldn't bend to tie my shoelaces, got chub rub between my thighs in the summer heat, got winded going up and down the stairs, etc. It wasn't pretty. I have no idea how I would have felt at 200lbs in my 20s - maybe youth would have overcome the weight and I would have felt fantastic and had no motivation to lose weight. I can tell you that becoming overweight in my mid 30s was no picnic, health-wise. The older you become, the harder it is for your body to carry around the excess weight with no consequences.
I agree that we should not hate ourselves for being overweight, though. Someone on 3fc had the quote that it is better to love yourself thin than hate yourself thin. I agree with that, although I am guilty of sometimes hating myself, or at least, hating the way I look and the the way I have let myself go. Sometimes a little acknowledgement that we are wonderful no matter what our size is necessary! Thanks for this thread.
Up until I hit 307 I never felt "huge" either. I felt big and chunky, sure, but never like I was massively overweight. Until very recently I could walk long distances, and fast, without tiring (though when I hit the 307 mark my back started to really hurt when I exercised). But then I would see photos of myself and, like Trazey34 mentioned, reality would smack me in the face.
Sometimes we just don't see ourselves as other people do. I mean, from candid photos of myself I know what I must look like to other people: really fat. But when I look in the mirror that is not who I see. I don't know, I suppose our minds are just really good at protecting us from the truth. Mine got me this far!
That said, it sounds like you do tend to carry your weight well if you're comfortably fitting into that size clothing.
ack! I can't look good til i'm 130 lbs??? eeek I better tell my husband (who is crazy hot by the way) that he was a FOOL to love me at 300 pounds just as much as he does at 160 pounds!! And I better call all the places that offered me jobs that I ended up turning down...idiots, offering me work when I was fat!! LOL
Sorry, I read stuff like that and think "don't put YOUR insecurities on to everyone else" Lots of people are happy (and not fake happy, the real kind, the kind that goes all the way through) at XYZ weight, and don't have to see a magic number for it suddenly to be "OK" for them to be happy, feel pretty, feel self-worth. It's nonsense to think otherwise.
I don't want to jump down your throat but your way of thinking reminds me a lot of when I had an eating disorder. Please stop thinking this way, it's a self perception of yourself that your not good enough until you hit 130lbs. You are good enough no matter what the scale says. It's hard to break this way of thinking but it really isn't healthy and I struggle with the words you wrote in that post cause it triggers me back to a time in my life when I did nothing but binge and purging, I thought those things as I put my fingers down my throat.....it's not self love it's self hatred. Loving you at no matter what size you are is key, but changing to be healthy is what's needed. Not to be a certain weight on the scale or size in clothing....Please stop thinking this way, it's not healthy at all
I was thinking the exact same thing. At 5 feet, I'm certainly not a runway model, nor am I on the thin end of the spectrum. What nutritional therapy taught me was that I was a great person and beautiful regardless of how much I weigh.
I got happy and confident and lost that little voice that told me that I wasn't good enough. I exercise, I eat right, and I'm happy. I'm not as tiny as I was when I was starving myself and lifting and running for hours a day, but I love myself so much more.
ack! I can't look good til i'm 130 lbs??? eeek I better tell my husband (who is crazy hot by the way) that he was a FOOL to love me at 300 pounds just as much as he does at 160 pounds!! And I better call all the places that offered me jobs that I ended up turning down...idiots, offering me work when I was fat!! LOL
Sorry, I read stuff like that and think "don't put YOUR insecurities on to everyone else" Lots of people are happy (and not fake happy, the real kind, the kind that goes all the way through) at XYZ weight, and don't have to see a magic number for it suddenly to be "OK" for them to be happy, feel pretty, feel self-worth. It's nonsense to think otherwise.
Just keep going by how you feel, and seriously take a good hard look in the mirror naked. OMG, that does it for me all the time. I know I'll never be model thin (I've 2 kids too) but I can still grab handfuls of fat on my belly and it's not loose skin, so for me, healthy wise, it has to go so I don't have a heart attack, or heart disease down the road. For me it's hard not to look in the mirror now (cause I've always liked how I looked) and say hey I'm look great now (I do) but to let it go to my head and think I don't need to do this lifestyle anymore....that's where I screw up and I gain it all back and I don't notice the weight coming back on and then I'm back to the beginning. So for me it's to look at myself realistically with love, objectively but not being mean to myself and say to myself that I need to do this to be healthy....the nake thing in front of the mirror works wonders! OR sit down naked and take a pic! OUCH! LOL
It all comes in how you dress yourself and your self-confidence. 
) 
