I need to clarify ladies (and gentlemen) that this really has not been in the vein of keeping a "secret" from my husband. So not like something horrible I am keeping from him, but about not feeling comfortable to tell him right now that I weigh more than him and would rather not say until I am in a better place (weight wise). This is "not-comfortable" thing - analogous to if I'm in the bathroom doing a number 2, I'm not exactly comfortable with him standing there with me - doesn't mean I'm keeping some "secret" from him.
Obviously he knows I am overweight but I don't feel good right now about saying the number and him going DANG you weigh more than me??! And then I would feel awful about it and not exactly be able to change it overnight. I'd rather first get to a better spot and its easier for me to tell him in hindsight.
I don't see anything wrong with that
and he too understands that I'd rather not say right now. He is perfectly understanding of that too...

just wanted to clarify on that one!
We are all different and its great when someone wants to share that number with their partner, but also I think its ok if one isn't comfortable sharing either.

He knows now. He's asked me quite a few times over the last few years and I never wanted to tell him. I told him when I was at 207. We were going through some really rough stuff and I realized it was pointless not to just tell him.. I even admitted what I was at my heaviest, though I had to write it down because I could not say it out loud. He was pretty surprised by both numbers, especially my high. He never thought I was that big and he's been with me all the way up and back down.

I used to be too embarrassed to tell him so I would tell him how much I'd lost or if I had a gain - I had no problem telling him those little details but the overall number? No way.

Then, one day, I thought "what the heck?" He knows me, he loves me - he's cared for me when I've been sick, he's seen me at my worst and he has eyes so he knows I'm huge. LOL. One day we were chatting about my weight loss and he asked what I was down to and I told him...no biggie.

Well, you asked and we told! In my marriage, I use my discomfort with something as a litmus to the health of our union. No lie. If something makes me uncomfortable or I don't want him knowing specifics, it absolutely begs the question 'why?'.

With weight, if I am not comfortable with my husband knowing where I am, because I am embarrassed or ashamed of the number, that is a cue to me that I need to a) change my self image a bit, b) tell him the specifics to get his love and support as reassurance, and c) move on from the first two points to then change the situation so it is a number I am proud of, can readily claim as my own and share with those I love, and restore that feeling of ease and 'knowledge' of ourselves.

That was one of the things that drove me to LOSE weight initially. I looked and felt uncomfortable, the scale made me ashamed and shocked, and I was ill at ease with my husband knowing my 'failure' in this area. Fixing these things and bringing it into the light of our love for one another was a beautiful, healing thing for me. And now, having spent three years of hard work fixing my eating, health, and body image, I am so proud to share every pound lost with him. What once was a source of discomfort and awkwardness for me is now a badge I wear with pride, and he also likes to show off my hard work.

Just another way of looking at it. Maybe this isn't you at all, but it was what I was hearing from your post and very much struck a chord with me. My marriage has been greatly strengthened by systematically eliminating the points of awkwardness, discomfort, shame, or secrecy. I didn't know the burden some of these little things had on us until they were shared!

Hmm, somehow I never questioned the health of our union by this, and we've been married 15 years and are best friends. Our marriage is probably at its best ever. We've gone through deaths, births, crisis and everything in between and it all made us stronger. So maybe I'm just weird a little with weight. But as I said, he gets that and understands that I'm a little shy of the number right now. On the flip side, when I didn't want to know the number, as I said I had no problems with him looking at the scale and writing it down - so that I would be the one who learns later. It works both ways.

OMgoodness y'all, I had to search for this thread this morning to tell you.

Last night, I asked my husband, "Guess how much weight I've lost."
DH: "50 pounds"
Me: "Well, not yet, but 40, YAY"
DH: "Great job babe, so you're what, about 200 pounds now?"
Me: "Uh, no, not yet. LOLOL"

So I guess I was wrong when I said he probably had some idea of how much I weigh. I thought it was sweet that he so underestimated, and funny, cause he really has no clue.

When I was at my high weight, my husband found out how much I weighed because a nurse read the number on the scale in front of him. I'm sure he was surprised, but he didn't say anything. He doesn't know how much I weigh now. No one knows except me and you all on 3FC! He has noticed I have lost weight, but we never discuss numbers.

The thing I feel bad about is the reverse. My husband is very overweight and the doctor read him the riot act last time he had his physical (which he had been avoiding for ages). The doctor wanted him to go on Optifast, but he said he would lose the weight on his own. It hasn't really been happening.

Anyway, he told me that he needed to lose 50 lbs to get to his goal weight of 225 lbs (he is 6' tall, so that goal weight might be a little high, but he counts himself as big boned with a football player build). Well, some tests came back from the doctor in the mail (actually it was a sleep study result) and looked at the paper. The first thing on the results sheet was his weight! I wouldn't have looked at it if I would have known his weight was on there, but there is was, and it read over 300 lbs!

I actually did feel shocked to know that the number was that high, and also that my husband felt he had to lie to me (since he had just been weighed for his physical, he had to have known what his true weight was). Anyway, I never told him that I saw the number, because obviously, he is embarrassed about it (or in serious denial). Weight loss is a personal issue and we all have our rock bottoms when we say "Enough is enough!" I just don't think he has hit his rock bottom yet.

So, in summary, it feels awful when a loved one is so ashamed of their weight that they don't tell you. It makes you feel like they don't trust you enough to be vulnerable and it makes you feel like they think you will judge them. It feels awful to know the truth too, because you are worried for them, but at least when you start from a place of honesty you can move forward.

I don't really have a bf/hubby. But I do have guy friends that I find very cute.. So I'm going to chime in. :)

When we talk about the gym and stuff like that, they always ask how much I weight and how much I want to loose. I tell them to guess my weight. I always get the same answer, "I'd say around 130" HA. Hahaah. HA. Yeah right. 160. Then they are all surprised and shocked.
Luckily I'm built well. Very porportionate and I have a lot of muscle (under the fat, hehe) So I don't look 160. It's fun

I see no reason to hide my weight. That is a part of who I am. If they cant handle a number, that's their fault.

But that is just my opinion. :)

Mine does not know! He's asked but I always ignore it. I just feel so embarrassed :/ He does hear about every pound lost though!

Yes he knows everything about me! :)

I have to get in on this one because my husband is unique in this... he has a depth perception disability. He can't drive because he hasn't a clue how far or close objects are. So, He seriously thinks I'm still as small as when we got married (180 back then--222 now) :lol: I have to admit telling him how much I weighed when I was more than him was a little uncomfortable, and ya, just like a guy he said, wow, you weigh more than me? jerk....then he adds... I'd never have guessed that, you look as good as the day we got married! sweety... well now, he's gained a bunch of weight and I've lost some so yesterday he said, 'you weigh what?" I told him 222, then he said, wow, I weigh more than you now?!..... gotta love him:D

My Dh knows my number and every number I have ever been. I have often needed him to comfort me after stepping on the scale lol. But the way I see it the actual # doesnt matter for so many reasons. he has eyes he can see just how big I am and he still loves me. And if they see you and love you hearing a # wont scare him or her away. In my opinion the sight is worse than the #. i looked better at this weight doing down than I did going up.

I am like the OP it is just not something I wanted to share with my husband because he is almost a foot taller than me and I've weighed more than him for most of our relationship. He knows now because he saw me put the number in a ticker. Right now we are about the same weight or I'm within a few pounds so I don't feel as bad. We've been together 26 years so it's not really been a big issue in our relationship!

Everyone knows my weight I have never had a problem sharing with anyone who is interested to know.

No.