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Old 10-26-2011, 02:38 PM   #1  
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Default Sabotage or my own fault?

My sister took me to lunch today in honor of my birthday which was last weekend and the day before I started my healthy lifestyle.

We went to Applebee's and I was super prepared. I knew what to order off the under 550 calorie menu and I knew to order unsweet tea, and I did.

BUT, then she ordered us dessert and I let her and I ate half of it because "It was for my birthday" and it wasn't her fault I couldn't get together before my birthday, so I couldn't make her eat it alone even though she's pregnant...

Now I am SICK to my stomach at work (Yay, it's potty time) and I can only have 25 more calories the rest of the day.

WHY did I do it? Was she sabotaging me or was I giving myself permission?!

Aack!
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Old 10-26-2011, 02:49 PM   #2  
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You say this was the day before you started your healthy lifestyle. I say it doesn't matter if it was sabotage or your own fault. Forget about it and move forward with your healthy lifestyle.
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Old 10-26-2011, 03:39 PM   #3  
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Unfortunately, that's the way we celebrate in America. We eat GREAT food. I don't think it was intentional...Don't beat yourself up. It won't be the last time in your life that you eat something that isn't on plan. Learn from the experience and maybe budget how you can plan for the calories in your dessert. Or, maybe how you can find a lower cal dessert.

The good thing is that you're not throwing away your new initiative because of one mistake. You're still in the game....I call that a victory

Last edited by free1; 10-26-2011 at 08:21 PM.
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Old 10-26-2011, 03:45 PM   #4  
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Well as adults we are responsible for our own food intake. She wasn't forcing you to eat it, it was your choice. However I think that it was great that she ordered a dessert to share, that seems pretty thoughtful to me. Also it was for your birthday and well it is ok to share a dessert on your birthday. I really wouldn't stress about it. Actually I would be pretty proud of myself for sticking with a healthy food choice and sharing a dessert instead of saying "heck it's my birthday lunch and I am going to order the fattiest food I can and have my own dessert too" This is what I would have said in the past. Please don't beat yourself up over this, it is really ok and you did well.

Now as far as having only 25 cals for the rest of the day that will not do. You will feel hungry and crappy and deprived and well if it was me that would trigger a huge binge. I think you should have a healthy dinner with lots of veggies and lean protein and see if you can fit in a walk or a workout tonight. Then you should congratulate yourself and being committed to your healthy lifestyle.
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Old 10-26-2011, 04:04 PM   #5  
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It wasn't sabotage. Your sister didn't set out with cruel intent of tricking you into going off plan. You and only you are responsible for what goes into your mouth; you made the choice to eat the dessert.

The good news is, that just as you are responsible for choosing to eat off plan, you also have the power to choose not to eat off plan.

One mistake doesn't erase the rest of the week's healthy eating. We all (well, most of us) make mistakes or slip-ups or even have planned off-plan occasions. It's part of the process.

So, pick yourself, dust yourself off, stop agonizing about this one choice you made and get right back on plan. Don't wait till tomorrow. Don't punish yourself for the bad choice by not eating dinner. Just get right back on plan, this instant.

And the next time you are presented with the choice to eat off plan ... think about choosing differently.
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Old 10-26-2011, 04:09 PM   #6  
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Originally Posted by butterflymama View Post
Now as far as having only 25 cals for the rest of the day that will not do. You will feel hungry and crappy and deprived and well if it was me that would trigger a huge binge. I think you should have a healthy dinner with lots of veggies and lean protein and see if you can fit in a walk or a workout tonight. Then you should congratulate yourself and being committed to your healthy lifestyle.
This...totally this!

And, imagine what you would have eaten prior to making healthy changes! It might have been deep fried something or other and an entire dessert for yourself.

Try to focus on the positive changes that you made at today's lunch and continue doing them!
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Old 10-26-2011, 06:05 PM   #7  
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I would eat a healthy dinner and try and do some extra exercise.
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Old 10-26-2011, 08:00 PM   #8  
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Thanks so much for snapping me out of it! It WAS really hard not to order the Oriental chicken salad, which has always been my favorite. And, she ordered it and offered me a bite and I declined and stuck with my own healthy meal so yes, I will be proud of those choices! Thank you for putting it in perspective!
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Old 10-26-2011, 08:17 PM   #9  
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Everyone else did a good job of giving you advice so I'm just going to say I think you did a great job of making the best choices you could. And in "life" there are desserts. Great choice in deciding to share one instead of getting your own. I hope you ate a sensible supper and loaded up on veggies to curb your hunger. Don't skip meals. But feeling a little bit hungry is OK, too. It's a reminder that I welcome.

You're doing great. We all learn as we go. As it's been said earlier, just get right back on plan RIGHT NOW. That's the key.

Lin

Last edited by linJber; 10-26-2011 at 10:49 PM.
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Old 10-27-2011, 09:37 AM   #10  
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Down .2 pounds this morning and it is because ya'll reminded me my good choices were not cancelled out because of 1 bad one.

Thanks again
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Old 10-27-2011, 09:48 AM   #11  
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That salad was the one I always ate, thinking I was eating something healthy. Once they started printing out all the calories on the menus here in CA I saw that salad had something like 1,200 calories in it! The ribs with fries had less cals. My eyes have really been opened at how so many of these restaurants serve obscenely bad food, but oh so tasty.
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Old 10-27-2011, 10:19 AM   #12  
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I've had to remind myself only I put food in my stomach, no one else. And I've had to tell myself it's ok to disappoint people. I have a friend who got upset with me because she was making salmon with butter and I asked to not have the butter. My husband said, "can't you eat it just this once" and I said, no. I can't, because it's not worth it to me. Friends, family, I don't expect them to be supportive, but it's nice when it's there.

You have to do what's best for you, I'm just saying, this is how I've handled it.

That said, you'e on it. You're not just saying forget it, you're moving forward and that's awesome!
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Old 10-27-2011, 10:34 AM   #13  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PaulaM View Post
That salad was the one I always ate, thinking I was eating something healthy. Once they started printing out all the calories on the menus here in CA I saw that salad had something like 1,200 calories in it! The ribs with fries had less cals. My eyes have really been opened at how so many of these restaurants serve obscenely bad food, but oh so tasty.
So true! At one of my favorite Italian restaurants they have a chopped salad...sounds healthy right? It's over 800 calories!!!! For a salad . Once I found that out I just ordered a pasta dish and ate half, lol.
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Old 10-27-2011, 10:40 AM   #14  
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"if you are successful for 3 days, go off plan on the 4th, for an entire year... that's 274 days on plan, and 91 days off plan. a 75% success rate.

i can't see how that's failure!

i had to tell myself that several times when i first got started. you'll find your groove. good luck!

SOme one posted this on my thread the day i had a horrible calorie day, and completely went off plan...and it has helped sooo much..it doesn't excuse my person lapse in judgement, but it does help to let it go and not to continue to feel guilty. That person helped me not want to give up..which is what this site is all about...so i thought i would pass the words that helped me, on to you....it will get better.

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Old 10-27-2011, 12:08 PM   #15  
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I can relate so much because I have come to the conclusion that this is why I am over weight. All we did growing up is eat to celerbrate, eat because were sad, eat just because my Dad got paid and my Mom knew he would spend all the money so she better take us to eat bc then we wouldn't have any money for food.. So anyway (sorry off topic) my sister and Mom still to this day will know that I'm trying to lose weight (they are morbidly obese too) and will ask me everyday (even today) if I want to go out to eat. I don't think they want to sabatogoe (sp) me, but I think they want someone to eat with.

I'm not saying your sister is doing this, it seems she wanted to celebrate with you. Don't feel bad, don't give up, just move past it. Eat lots of veggies they are very low in calories. But I think the most important thing is to not give up!!
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