I am new
 

Hi. i am new to this whole thing, and i just started trying to lose some weight. I weigh 276 now and need to lose over 100 pounds...i am in need of support, becuase i suck at self control. i have the worst support system in my husband, he has no weight problem, and doesn't understand why i want to lose weight, because he doesn't see it as a problem. I asked him the other day what would happen if i got to big to fit on the couch and he said buy a bigger couch. he's a great guy...but a crappy support system. lol...so i need all the help i can get...and i don't know how to do it...thanks..sorry to whine..

Welcome to the boards and you will find lots of support here. Are you going to be following a specific plan or just watching what you eat? its going to be a long journey but you can get through it. Just keep in mind that you need to do this for YOU and ONLY YOU, no one else can do it for you. You aren't whining just asking for help and that is the first step...welcome :)

U can do this! Go girl!

I'm new too :) Good to meet you!

Good to meet both you newbies.

Athena - you can do this because YOU want to. Maybe in time your hubby will get on board. Feel free to whine - that's what friends are for - to listen. You'll find lots of friends in here. Support, chit-chat, a kick in the butt if you need it. That's us!

Fyreflie - I've seen you in a couple other threads. It looks like you are off to a good start with almost 30 pounds lost so far. Great job. Keep up the great work.

Lin

Welcome to the group! You will find lots of support. Check in each day for the accountability.

WELCOME....I started at a higher weight than yours and am working my way 1to goal. My self control is also horrible. Remember, small steps. One day at a time, one meal at a time, one snack at a time! Cheering you on to goal!

:hug:Thank you all so much...i didn't realize it would really be this hard. I am working on a low carb diet and such..not really anything specifically named...but just watching what i eat and such..thank you..cause you people will be kicking me in my butt to help me to continue..

Hi and :welcome: !! Your not whining at all- we are all in the same boat that is why we are here. It sounds to me like your husband really loves you- in his way he is letting you know no matter what he is there. I have heard of husbands getting on to their wife because of weight gain and making mean remarks. But him saying we would just get a new couch is kinda sweet. You are going to have to have a heart to heart talk with him though- so he can understand this is important to you. And you want to be more healthy and you need his help and support. Once I explained it my husband he really supported me.
My husband is slim also. I knew this would affect him also because my way of cooking and the foods I had around the kitchen would change. I am a sweet loving food loving junkie. And if I had those sweets and stuff around I knew I would crumble. So if my husband wants something sweet he has to get it away from home. We have a don't ask don't tell policy (about food) I don't want to know about it!
Be sure to keep a journal. You can look back after some time and see how far you have come. Take down all your measurements from your neck to your ankles. At times when the scale seems to be moving slow you can see the measurement numbers are smaller. That helps me not to get discouraged when I hit those scale moving stalls.
Take good care of yourself and eat good healthy food and drink lots of water. It is a gradual process normal weight loss is between 0-3 Lbs. a week. At first you will have a weight loss of 10-15 Lbs. really fast but then it slows down some. So don't get discouraged that is normal. Keep us posted!!

helllllllllllooooo & welcome! The couch comment is really sweet, I like him! SO many times you hear horrible things partners say, so it's nice to hear a nice one :) Just remind him, sure I'm hot NOW but just wait til next year! Sometimes they need reassurance that no matter HOW hot you get, you're not going anywhere!

As for your plan, it seems a little loosey-goosey but if you feel that's what's going to work for you, go for it! I'm a bit the same, a rigid "YOU CAN'T EAT THAT" attitude is guaranteed to break me in about 2 days LOL so I chose calorie counting, because - technically- i CAN eat cake for dinner if I want LOL I have to count it, no cheating, but I can have it! I don't but I can, that's huge!

Best of luck, and be sure you're getting all your vitamins and nutrients for the day, gotta stay big and strong...ok wait, slim and strong ;) !!

keep us posted

Welcome! You have come to the right place. Your husband sounds great. Maybe if you explained the health benefits of losing weight to him would get him to understand and be more supportive. I am sure he doesn't want you to develop health problems due to your weight.
Tell him exactly how you would like him to support you- what you need to succeed. When I started, I asked my partner if we could switch to healthier foods and if he could make dinner when I got home so I could do my exercises. I think sometimes, people want to support us but need specifics to do so.
I am so glad you decided to work to become healthy. We will be cheering you on in your victories. You will be amazed at the amount of inspiration and motivation that is on this board.

Welcome!! Your husband sounds great! Mine is similar, loves me no matter what and would never say anything negative about me. He supports my choices, but still eats the same things, which include treats that I no longer fit into my calories. So that was a struggle at the first, but I decided the reward of losing weight (and now the reward of staying in my size 4 pants!) was worth not eating those treats. I chose calorie counting too, so I could technically have the burgers he loves to indulge in, but I decided it just isn't worth it because it'd pretty much be all I could eat that day! lol Anyways welcome, you can do this, all I can say is find a way that works for you, and run with it!

fyreflie - Welcome to you too!! :)

:wel3fc:Good Luck ! You can do it ! You will find lots of support right here :) with the all your buddies ! My man is the same way , slim and is fine with me being a chunky woman ! I keep him warm ! He loves my curves and he does'nt want a little boney woman ! He assures me of that ! LOL He was'nt supportive in the beginning but now he is so wanting me to do good because he sees how happy it makes me and thats what he wants now. He also sees that I am not doing it for another man but FOR ME ! I did have to tell him that a few times ! LOL You need to get a plan together and write it down. Be accountable to the scale . Weighing once a week always helped me. Lots of water. I stopped drinking soft drinks completely. I loved diet coke but just could not keep drink them in moderation. Set up some form of exercising . I started out with videos and walking.

Hi Athenabelle glad your here. I'm new too and it can be daunting. Especially if your hubby does not have any weight to loose and really has no idea how to support you. Come on here whenever you can. I feel like it helps me keep on track. Hope to see you around!!

I used to go to the gym and i took kick boxing and zumba...love zumba..it is so much fun..but we moved so i am now down to the dvd's for zumba and it's just not the same..but it's still fun...I don't really have the money or the time to join something like weight watchers or the diets where they send you the food to eat..so it will have to be low carb (as i am doing now) or calorie counting....which if the low carb doesn't turn out like i want then that will be the route i choose next....thank you all so much for the support...and i am drinking lots of water...and i am down now to only 1 diet dr. pepper per day...whoo hoo..and zumba videos 2 to 3 times a day....

Athena - you can do WW on line now, but if you're doing low carb and counting calories on your own, why bother? And the plans where they send you food in the mail are just so costly and not practical in the long term. I found that when I cut out junk food and sugar and cut way back (once a week) on rice, potatoes, pasta, and bread, everything else fell into place. It's hard to eat too many calories of veggies! Cravings just go way down, too, if you can keep the carbs under control.

Hope you get settled in your new home quickly. And maybe you'll find a new gym that you like as much as the old one. good luck!

Lin

Thank you so much...this whole counting thing is hard. I am trying to use the whole my plate thing. I'm still trying to figure out how to do all of the safely and correctly. It's definately going to be a challenge. The support here is truly amazing though.

Welcome Athena! You're off to a wonderful start, and the support you will find here at 3FC is beyond compare.

Try not to stress out too much about doing things "correctly". I found that even making tiny changes every day helps. You'll find your way and settle in, and once you fall into that rhythm you'll be unstoppable. :) Try different things and figure out what works for you. There's no magic formula...when you hit on it you'll just know.

And girl! Zumba 2-3 times a day? SO AWESOME!!! :hug:

I'm new on this journey also, nice to meet you

yesterday was a horrible day....i failed miserably...i feel like a complete failure..i ate all kinds of things i wasn't supposed to...this is what i hate about the whole diet scene...i fail and then feel horrible...and then start thinking "what's the point? If i can't go but 3 or 4 days without failing...why bother?" i hate this feeling...

OK, so you had a crappy day. IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD, or of your stuggle to succeed. I promise. There are lots and lots of really good motivational quotes here on 3FC. One of my favorites is "Don't let one bad meal turn into a bad day" So you didn't make the best choices, it's OK. Make a better choice for supper. Or for breakfast tomorrow.

I quoted the above post to say that I am the same way as Trazey, I can not bear to think of all the things I can't eat. I am doomed to fail. So I don't have anything on that list. Instead, I log on to livestrong.com/myplate EVERY day. I type in all of the things that I eat. Even the bite of this, the smidge of that. It really helped me be aware of what I was putting in my mouth.

I do find that I tend to make healthier choices now that I'm tracking, simply because I want to be able to eat more! If I have enough calories left at the end of my day, I will eat a Blue Bell ice cream sandwich. 150 calories. It's YUMMY. I was eating one the other night and thought, wow, I'm on a diet & eating this ice cream sandwich. :) As long as it's in my calories, I can have it. WOW, what an idea. :dizzy:

Anyway, I know this is kind of long, but I really really really feel your pain. I don't want to see you give up, or think that you're a failure, because you are not. Maybe try changing your plan to fit your lifestyle a little better.

Please keep us posted.

athenabelle,

Welcome!!!! I have to say that I am proud of you for coming back today and admitting that you didn't eat exactly how you had planned yesterday. We all have those days! Just pick yourself back up and try again today!

What helps me is to plan out 3 meals and 1 snack for the day and I log them into my tracker. I am able to see right then if I have any additional calories for another snack, or maybe another portion of chicken. Some days I decide that I don't want the additional portion, and if I take the cheese off my breakfast sandwich, I could possibly have something like cookies or some other indulgent treat.

I never tell myself no, it just leads to frustration and binging. I just have to make adjustments to the rest of my meals.

You can do this, you know you can!

yay! welcome to the start of a really great journey!!

Ditto to everything these wise ladies already said.

Big agreement with the super awesome PreciousMissy -- planning ahead is key for me. HUGE. I actually got derailed today because the place I went to grab burritos for my guy friends at lunch apparently didn't listen to how I wanted my "healthy" burrito bowl prepared. Got back to the office and I was like...well, I could still eat it. But if I'm going for extra calories, this isn't really what I want. So I gave it away and pieced together a good-for-me lunch with food I keep on hand at work. Knowing those caloric values and having stuff there I can always fall back on is huge. If I didn't have that plan in place, I'd unravel. I know this from many years of experience.

Mostly, don't beat yourself up. You had a bad meal, two bad meals, bad day or week or month. It's over. Time to look ahead. I found that my clarity came to me when I finally stopped playing the "If I only had..." game with myself.

Every mistake is a learning opportunity. You learned from this one how crappy it made you feel. You won't want to feel like that again, so I guarantee you your tomorrow will be better.

Hang in there. We're here.

:hug:

Welcome to the group!

thank you all so much. yesterday eas a much better day. im tracking everything with myplate and it looks like it might just go better.

I really echo the whole planning idea. I start the day knowing exactly what every meal and snack will be for the day. Not to say that I don't make adjustments, but having a plan takes all the question out of it all. Especially when I find myself rushed.

You CAN do this!!!

CONGRATULATIONS for not giving up and coming back AGAIN today! You may have had a bad day but you didn't give up. THAT IS HUGE!!! You can do this one step at a time. It is always hard to do something worthwhile, if it were easy everyone would do it. So don't beat yourself and keep going girl! We are cheering for you!

Re: team planning vs team-loosey goosey. When I first started, I planned everything a week ahead, calorie-wise. Meaning I'd plan what I'd eat/snack on for every meal for a whole week which helped with my weekly shop etc and left little opportunity for failure.

Now that I don't live all by myself and I'm a little more used to life on plan, I plan hours ahead. For example when I wake up, I'm already thinking of breakfast, and at breakfast, I'm already thinking of lunch. I know it sounds like I think of food a lot, and it's true I kind of do. Sometimes, I suddenly start craving something and if I don't have enough calories to eat it that day, I plan it into the next day. I try to teach myself that the food is not running away. I don't have to have it all today, there's always tomorrow.

Well done, with picking yourself back up after a bad day. Everyone has them. That's part of this journey. It happens. It's not the end of the world and certainly shouldn't be the end of your journey. You WILL have bad days. But if you keep at it and stick with this you'll find that your good days will wayyyyy outnumber your bad ones. And you will meet your goals. You can totally do this. Go YOU!

if you are successful for 3 days, go off plan on the 4th, for an entire year... that's 274 days on plan, and 91 days off plan. a 75% success rate.

i can't see how that's failure!

i had to tell myself that several times when i first got started. you'll find your groove. good luck!

you all are so amazing...it's been a pretty good weekend. It's getting easier to be able to eat, and enjoy eating, and tracking the food helps so much..cause it lets me know where i'm at, and exactly what i can have for my next meal.

It will get easier as you go. You'll learn what works and what doesn't. You don't "die" from making small errors in judgement. We all know what we should stay away from. Just stay away from those things most of the time. Mandy's comment about 75% success rate is right on target. You will do better than 75% because you want to succeed. Wait till the pounds start falling off and you realize it's working. You will be unstoppable. This is life. you learn as you go, same as with all new situations. And I know you'll succeed. We're all here to help.

Lin

AthenaBell,

I know what you mean about the husband. Mine looks scared to death whenever I mention wanting to lose weight. He loves the big beautiful me, even though it isn't healthy. He asked me once if losing weight would make my boobs shrink! I was like.... well, maybe a little but there will still be enough, lol.

I think they prefer larger women, but I know even if we get skinny they will love us. They may even work harder to keep us around if they are worried about other guys being interested in a skinny girl.

I also have a pretty pitiful will power. I ate 3 oreos today and now I am out of calories and very hungry :(

So, I am going to bed early to avoid stuffing my face! I am new too. I just started yesterday, and we are pretty close to the same start weight,so I think we'll be perfect pals!

We CAN do it! We DO have the power! When you feel like it is impossible, go look at the threads with before and after pictures of people who have done it. A BUNCH of people who have!

Hugs from JenniBean

I haven't posted in a couple of days because my computer has been down..i am now 2 pounds lighter...just from simply changing how I eat. I am eating what i like, i am just learning to eat it correctly..So it still stinks, and my will power still sucks, but i know that it is working..even if it is just a little at a time. JenniBean, i think that we will do well together, and i know exactly what you mean about being out of calories and still starving...but i am learning that i need to eat things that will last longer and stay around so that i'm not so hungry...I'm sure it will get easier, because right now i am afraid to eat anything without tracking it, so that i am sure that i don't go over my calorie count...but if there was a bread and cheese diet..i swear i would be the skinniest person on the planet...lol...it's gonna be great...and we can do this.....