I've been asking myself lately, Why do I bother dieting? Yeah I lose for a while. Feel good. And then backslide right back into my old habits and old body. I want to be thin. I want to walk into a store and buy off the rack with out trying clothes on. I want to wear a bra with just one or 2 hooks instead of 4 or 5. I want to stop adjusting my clothes constantly to make sure I am always properly covered. I want to know how it feels. How it feels not to have acusing eyes on me that tell me I am inferior because I can't control my eating. The drive is so strong and with me constantly so why can't I do it?????

Then it occured to me. I never have given myself permission to succeed. I always have an excuse on my lips as to why I have gained this pound or why I ate that kind of food. I set myself up to fail because I have never given myself the permission to have this one goal in my life.I've never told myself I deserve it.

So here goes. Sarah, from this day forward you have the permission to do this for yourself. You're allowed to shed the cage you are in and be free. You deserve it and it's yours if you want it.

PS...Sarah I love you

ok, your PS almost made me burst into tears. I think that is such an important step sarah. We do need to love ourselves. I have always had a postive self image, regardless of my weight. It's only been in the past year that my weight has began to effect my self image.

Sandi...I love you too!

PS. You have permission to lose too!!

Sarah, I love your post What a wonderful reminder to me.

That was very touching, Good luck Sarah

What a great post! I was almost crying when I read it. I've developed a real unkindness towards myself. I wish that weren't so. I'm petrified of excuses. Even the valid ones. So sometimes I fail before I start, because I'm too strict, and too self-hating.

Where does that hatred come from? Well.. duh.. it comes from society sometimes. Let's not forget how we worship the slim. As someone who suffered both ends of the stick, and in-between.. I can say that I was *listened to*.. much much more, when I was slim, than when I'm fat. People automatically assumed I was stronger, kinder, more self-disciplined, and less slovenly, when I was slimmer. In fact.. that's not necessarily true. I was.. when it came to food.. but not anything else.

I was treated with more respect when I was slimmer. I was appreciated more when I was slimmer.

I wonder why it's hard to keep up a healthy self-esteem???

Sandie

It's funny. Today I feel like a new woman. Just giving myself the freedom to do something for myself instead of for everyone else around me has lifted a burden off of my shoulders that I wasn't aware was even there. Thank you for all of your kind words. You are a wonderful and inspiring group of women in here. The amazing strength of women never ceases to amaze me. We all deserve what we want out of life. No matter what anyone else things or say. Lets not forget God made Adam first and then put out the New and Improved model.

Love you all,

Sarah

This is completely resonating through me. I deserve this. I WILL have it.

Boy, oh boy I think I was really meant to see this. Thank you for a profound post! I haven't been in very much at 3FC lately, but wow am I glad that I did.

I've been OP for two weeks, and for the first time in a couple of years, I lost 5 pounds. Then I felt myself starting to slide. This post has helped to snap me back to reality. . .thanks for a real upper!

Love, irishwings

Well I went last night and joined my local Curves for women. I really like it. I'm feeling it today too and I didnt think I worked that hard yesterday. I was happy to see that when they did the Body fat analysis I wasn't over 50%. I really thought I would be but it was 45.7%. Keep up your motivation ladies. You deserve what you want. I feel great.

Sarah