Such thoughtful and interesting responses. I love that there are like-minded people out there, and I especially love that there's an understanding that things aren't always what you think they are because you only see through the lens of your own experience.

Here's the thing, though. This person is someone I genuinely like and admire. She's incredibly outspoken, and I love this part of her as well. I don't think it makes her a bad person to post what she did - I just think it makes her wrong and ignorant. And while I don't believe responding and creating a dialogue will change the world, I know remaining silent and ignoring her won't either.

So, I respond. Not obsessively, and hopefully very respectfully. I have seen way too many fat people embarrassed to exercise or to join in group physical activity (like dancing) because of these socially-acceptable kinds of garbage. She is a black single mother - it is my hope that she will one day recognize that the type of thing she posted is every bit as reprehensible as someone else talking about how lazy black single mothers are. Cuz she ain't remotely lazy. And I've heard people make that comment. And if I posted on FB that black single mothers were lazy (which, thank goodness, is socially unacceptable as well as untrue), she would totally call me out. And now I've returned the favor. =)

Edited to say: Trazey - Yep - I don't think people suck. I think they're awesome. And I've read enough of your posts to believe you're kind of awesome too!

It sucks that this is how people think. but it is no surprise. its all over the place. ignorance

but we know how it really is. let them think what they want. the words only hurt if we let them.

I think most of the time ignorance, is simply that - people don't know any better. When the stereotypes are wide spread and culturally acceptable though, people can be extremely resistant to education - even in the presence of proof to the contrary.


Still, it's hard to expect thin people to know better, when many fat people have the same beliefs and stereotypes (and generally are harder to persuade otherwise).

With so many fat people hating themselves and others for being "disgusting and lazy," how can we expect to change the minds of thin people?

You guys have all summed up the problem and the answers to the OP, so I just want to comment on the photos Mya posted.

What a great statement of the many different shapes of our top athletes! My initial reaction, however, had nothing to do with size - I just noticed how pure white the weightlifter in the 3rd panel looked (except for his tee-shirt tan!) compared to everyone else! LOL We all perceive things differently, I guess. That's probably the real problem with the FB comment in the first place.

Lin

I wanted to do an experiment on FB. I don't usually post anythig about my weight or weightloss efforts. Last night I posted my weightless and inch loss for this week and received an almost immediate outpouring of love and support. In fact, it's like my most liked and commented on post ever. I am shocked. So far nothing bad. My friends are awesome :)

I consider my FB activities to be on the "lite" side, and don't post anything very personal at all. And I think about who I friend. Luckily, you can unfriend people easily too, so you don't have to subject yourself to anything too obnoxious if you don't want to.

re: the photos Mya posted. I loved those too.

frankly, I don't know if I could run 10 miles, but I can certainly appreciate anyone who can, no matter what his or her size. and yes, I totally agree that it's even more of an accomplishment for a bigger person -- for social and physical reasons.

I agree too that a person can be exercising for lots of health reasons tied, not so much tied, and not tied to losing weight -- two being for enjoyment of it and the pride of accomplishment. Larger sized people should not be shamed into not trying or enjoying the process. I know I've had to struggle with my embarrassment, and have let it stop me from doing things I know I'd enjoy. That's just not right and sad. I think it's good you spoke up.