3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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-   -   feeling very discouraged (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/23715-feeling-very-discouraged.html)

suzie76 01-12-2003 07:51 PM

feeling very discouraged

I hope everyone had a nice weekend.

I am feeling very discouraged. I don't know why I'm feeling down, but I just feel like I'm never going to reach my goal. I read all these success stories of other people, and just feel worse...I can't see myself sticking to a healthy eating plan long enough to even get under 200 pounds (I'm 245, started at 256 on 11/1-derailed through the holidays) much less get down to around 165 or so. I was on Dotti's weight loss zone-she is amazing, losing 90 pounds in nine months! At the rate I'm going, it's going to take me two years to reach my goal. I know I have a long way to, but I just don't take weight off quickly. I feel like I"m just doomed to be fat the rest of my life. I realized I've weighed over 200 pounds for ten years-almost a third of my life. What a waste.

I also look around and see what other people eat. Surprisingly, I'm a healthy (I don't mean amount, I mean type of food ) eater. Whenever I read articles about changing to healthy eating, I'm ALREADY eating that way. I eat whole wheat bread, oatmeal, enough fruits and vegetables. I hardly ever eat fried foods. I haven't eaten McDonalds or Burger King since 1989! I only eat fast food (Wendy's) about four times a year. I don't eat red meat. I I drink skim milk, use all lowfat dairy, (though sometimes eat regular cheese) don't eat butter, use lowfat or fat free salad dressing. I do these things even when I'm not "on program'. I don't smoke or drink-why am I this overweight? I see these skinny girls at work eating cheesesteaks and fries and potato chips and coke for breakfast and lunch! I'm just pissed off!

Sorry to whine-I just knew you guys would listen. I don't know what's wrong with me this weekend. I just feel so blah. Maybe a good night's sleep will help.


gonzostar 01-12-2003 09:06 PM

i totally get you. i recently re-introduced red meat to my diet, but i was a semi-vegi until then. i don't really eat chips (unless it's a binge) and i love veggies! i also don't really like cake! it's very irtritating.

portion size, portion size. that's what it's all about with me. and yes, this is slow, slow slow. i've lost 24 pounds since end of sept. and i haven't lost since before my birthday, on the 12th of dec.

it's soooo easy to get discouraged. luckily, david won't let me slack. he reminds me that i *want* to do this and that it *is* working. it doesn't matter if it takes a long time, as long as it's gone for good!


SummerdayWinterCold 01-12-2003 09:17 PM

Me too girl, I feel for you. We are the exact weight .. and I have a looooooooong way to go.

You are eating healthy, but are you eating enough? I was told that one of the biggest reasons why I was so overweight is because my body was going into starvation mode.

MY problem has never really been overeating (not going to say I've never downed a bag of chips or ate 15 portions of hersey kisses) :devil: , but I would never eat breakfast, sometimes I would eat lunch, and always ate dinner. Basically what kept me going was tea. I drank anywhere from one gallon to a gallon and a 1/2 a day. My body got "real food" once a day. So it thought it was "starving"; it's supposed to affect your metabolism .. and basically reverse the weight loss.


I see these skinny girls at work eating cheesesteaks and fries and potato chips and coke for breakfast and lunch! I'm just pissed off!
I hear that... lmao, don't you just want to ram it down their throats. I think those skinny girls have good genetics .. just give about ten years. :lol:

What about exercise? Are you trying to do thinks like walk a few times a week .. or anything like that. Maybe that is what you need to give the weight loss a boost.

Also, those low fat things can get you if you aren't watching the calories.

In the end, we still have months ahead of both of us before we reach our goals. I think this board is what I needed for my motivation, as i don't have much support around me (IRL).

I wish you the best !!

Raelynn 01-12-2003 10:10 PM

I understand exactly how you feel. I haven't really lost any weight in a month, and I am getting frustrated. I have days when I come so close to saying "screw it." But I keep plugging away at it, thinking that at least maintaining the weight I am at is better than gaining back the almost 60 lbs that I've lost. Hang in there, we're here for you.

SuchAPrettyFace 01-12-2003 11:26 PM


It's easy to get discouraged. Believe me. The important part is to validate these feelings, realize they're 100% normal to have, and that everyone has them.

We're here for you, hon!

MzPen 01-13-2003 09:13 AM

Are you exercising? Sometimes that can help with attitude.


Charbar 01-13-2003 10:38 AM


Been there!!!

A little advice... watch the movie "What about Bob" and then take baby steps. Only take what you can chew (okay.. maybe that didn't sound right..lol) but give yourself a break. Take your journey is small amounts - this should keep you motivated. Right now I don't even think about being 135lbs (HA - is that even possible??) I think about 200 lbs - what a dream that would be.

keep your chin up :) - plus try Pen's advice - exercise can do a world of difference to not only your attitude but your waistline.


glynne 01-15-2003 05:04 PM

I am feeling discouraged today. I was off to such a good start. Had resumed my walking and was making better food choices. Have been putting off my walking today ~ I am having pain in my feet for the last couple days. Knowing that I have to go back to work tomorrow and have no choice about being on my feet (I am a nurse ~ work 12 hour shifts) I am kind of trying to rest up my feet for tomorrow. It is like a vicious circle. I'm sure the weight is contributing to my foot pain, I need to walk to get rid of the weight, but it hurts to do so. The weight comes off slowly enough with the walking, it seems it will never come off if I am not able to.

Thank you for letting me share.

glynne (Gayle)

BA99TJ 01-16-2003 10:02 AM

Oh my dears - I feel your pain. But I want to encourage you today NOT to give up.

First of all, this is NOT a race. Not at all. You have no control over what number will pop up on your scale. Really you do not! What you do have control over is what goes into your mouth, where you let your feet take you, and what you do today to make yourself a healthier person.

Dottie did lose a lot of weight in a short time. You know why? She rarely if ever cheated. And you know what I mean by "cheated". I myself am having a hard time conjuring up the stamina to not let myself cheat one single day. But as I get rid of the holiday food, and buy new things, I'm taking away my ability to cheat. I'm also learning to trust myself. I bought bryers ice cream last night. Yep the real stuff. I pretty much bought it because after being on sale and the coupons I had I got 2 1/2 gallon's of it for 50 cents. Total. But I've made a commitment to myself that if I am going to eat it I have to measure it and count the points. And you know what? to a certain extent that requires trusting myself to a point I probably do not deserve. I have not proven trustworthy in the past. But if I don't give myself a chance I am just setting myself up for failure.

I'm also going to confess that I need to start journaling. And so do you probably. I was just put on Paxil by my doctor for my anxiety issues and depression. But I know that I cannot just rely on a pill for my happiness. So I'm going to start journaling in 2 ways. First I'm going to work on setting realistic goals for myself. The ice cream is a good example. Instead of saying "My goal is to not eat any Breyers ice cream".. I'm saying "My goal is to eat Bryers ice cream in moderation!" See the difference? I know for a fact that I cannot resist the stuff, so the first goal is setting myself up to fail.

I'm also starting a "Gratitude" section every day in my journal where I will write down five things in my life I love or that I am happy about or that I acheived the day before. I know that my outlook on life will change as I sway myself towards looking for the positive rather than the negative.

I hope this helps girls - just keep it up. You CAN do this.. I know you can!!

Jen 01-16-2003 03:15 PM

BA, I'm glad to hear that you are addressing some of your issues. think that it will really help. I hope you can stick with the treatment and don't quit when you start feeling better.

I know too how easy it is to feel discouraged when faced with the difficulties of losing so much weight. If only it were as easy to lose it as it is to gain it!! Unfortunately it takes a lot longer. I've been food journalling this past month and while I haven't lost any weight it is so very easy to look at my journal and see why. My portion sizes are too big and I eat way too many carbs.

I'm trying to focus on issues other than the scale. I want to try and improve my health not just losing weight. I need to build muscle mass through strength training, improve my flexibility through stretching and yoga, improve my cardiovascular system with aerobic exercise, eat more veggies and fruit and drink more water. Hopefully all this will result in weight loss.

KittyMilk 01-16-2003 05:53 PM

Unfortunatly eating healthy is not all that is required to lose weight. How many cals are you averaging? You probably need 1800-2200 you may not be getting enough cals in or you may need more protien to fill you up so you don't eat too many vege's and go over that. You didn't mention exersize and that is a biggy in any weight loss. I only ever walk really but it makes a huge difference to my weight loss I'm sure of it. Forget the big picture and just look at 10 pounds at a time. Losing that amout is hard enough and over time it will add up. Sure it may be a hassle doing all this and taking forever to see results but at least you know you arn't gaining. Little by little sticking with it you will get there,

good luck


fractured_miss 01-17-2003 11:09 AM

For us newbies, who is Dottie and what was her weight loss plan please? I would be interested in hearing more.

For those discouraged, the best advice I ever got was this...

"Make healthy changes you can live with for life. Always remember it took time to get the weight on and it will take time to get the weight off. Forget one day at a time - take it one meal at a time. Write it down - your goals, your hopes, your dreams, your disappointments, your food, your exercise, your life... do not let it be JUST about the food!!! Let it be about changing your entire life for the better and you will succeed!!!"

Good luck to everyone!!

Sandi 01-17-2003 12:13 PM


Sherry - you know full well that I have been where you are. It is hard when you feel like you are never going to be able to do this. But, sweetie, you can...YOU WILL. Everyone is right about the big picture. Time to step back and make some smaller goals. 5 or 10 lb goals. Right now I am trying to lose 10 lbs a month. So when I stepped on the scale on Monday and saw 294 (from 297.5) I thought - OK - 6.5 lbs to go. That feels doable.

And I agree when a few people said that you need to journal. I went out and bought a datbook that has a monthly page and then weekly pages. Every day I log what I am eating and how many calories. How much water and any exercise. Then I also log the totals on the month page, so if I am not getting the desired results I can look and say, well, ya, I only worked out twice last week and I went over my calorie limit 3 times.

I know you can do this!!! Let us know how it's going.

suzie76 01-17-2003 06:32 PM

thank you all :)

Thank you all so much for your encouragement and support. This week has gone pretty well. (with one exception, see below) The day or so after my post, my scale showed a four pound loss, so that helped get me on track and feel like my effort was not wasted. I've been trying really hard to plan my meals in advance. Bethanne, you're right when you say it's easier to stay OP when you've planned everything. I've been riding my exercise bike almost every day for two weeks. I'm only up to fifteen minutes a day, but that's better than no exercise at all. I want to work up to thirty minutes, or use my Leslie Sansone walkfit tapes (which are gathering dust) I plan to start strength training soon, too. My problem is fitting in the time. My son wakes up some mornings at six am..and my husband works nights, and I work full time. But no excuses, this is very important to me, and I am going to fit exercise in . I want to keep up with my three and a half year old son. I don't want to be the "fat mom" when he gets to kindergarden (any moms here know what I mean?)

I need to stop comparing my progress with other people...and stop looking at how other people eat, and wishing I could eat more and not gain weight. I have to accept that my metabolism is crappy and I need to try harder than most people to lose weight.

Bethanne, how did the ice cream experiment go? It was funny you mentioned that. I tried the same thing earlier in the week, but it didn't go well. Sunday I bought a pint of lowfat ben and jerry's half baked frozen yogurt (combination of two of their frozen yogurt flavors-chocolate chip cookie dough and brownie). Sunday I stuck to a sensible portion. I didn't touch it Monday. Then Tuesday, I lost all control and finished the whole rest of the pint...sigh! Guess I'm not ready for that experiment yet. I don't have control over chocolate. I'm sure you will do better than I did.

Also, I"m still on medication for postpartum depression, which my doctor said is an "anxious" depresssion. So I know what you're going through . The anxiety was ****. I felt like I was jumping out of my skin. I hope you find relief with the medication. It made a world of difference for me. Best of luck..

Thanks again,

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