I'd think you'd get admiration. I go to the gym a lot because I have a small belly I want to lose. I used to be really overweight, and I don't want to go back there. Whenever I see someone there that is really overweight working out I feel a lot of respect and admiration for them. That person is there trying to work off the fat, which is not easy. I know since I've been there. I know a lot of overweight women who whine about being big, but won't do anything to lose weight except crash diets that make them binge later. I have a lot on my facebook who post in their statuses that they are depressed because they are overweight, but yet they won't do anything to lose the weight.
So seeing people actually trying to lose weight, and working out at a gym makes me feel respect for them. I've talked to other people about it, and a lot feel the same way. My first thought is "Good for him/her" and if I wasn't shy, or worried about being offensive, which is the last thing I want to be I'd go up to them and tell them that. However, I know that would probably offend the person, so I keep my respect to myself.
It's so funny- I recently mentioned something about being the only chick (fat or otherwise) in the weight room in a post. I said that I felt that I definitly attracted notice as the only fat chick in the weight room but your post made me reevaluate that. I don't know that I attracted any extra notice. Did the boys (I will insist on thinking of men as "boys) look at me? Sure, but only when I was in their line of vision. There may have been some confusion maybe in their expression but no judgement or disapproval.
You said that you don't like to be looked at askanse and that you are afraid it will happen often...but did it during the tour? Did more than one person look at you that way? If not I don't think its particularly likely that its going to.
Just to illustrate the other side though- here is a list of people I judge at the gym
- people who don't wipe down the machines
- men who grunt loudly while lifting a not impressive amount of weight
- people who match their tennis shoes exactly to their gym shorts ie the exact shade of neon green for both
- people who talk on the cell on the cardio equiptment
-people who watch the food channel while working out
Do I look askance at any of them? Not intentionally. I would feel impolite. If people do judge you for being overweight they probably restrain themselves from an outward expression of it.
Lol, wait, what's wrong with watching the food channel while working out??? I watch food network all the time while I'm at the gym! It's actually my favourite channel to watch while working out. Sure, there are a few shows that show people bingeing on unhealthy food (diner, drive ins and dives), but those are the exceptions and the vast majority of shows on the food channel show people cooking healthy, varied meals from salads to pastas to fish, and I find it very inspiring to watch the creative cooking while I'm pounding it out on the elliptical. It doesn't mean that I'm going to rush home and stuff all the recipes that I see into my mouth or that I'm sitting there lusting after food, calculating how many calories I've burned so that I can go home to eat them. I just genuinely love cooking, love watching people cook and enjoy watching the food channel because I find it inspiring and it gives me all sorts of ideas for keeping my own healthy eating from getting boring and gets me thinking about diet, nutrition, and veggies (never would have discovered jicama if it hadn't become trendy on food channel). Then there are the reality shows like Iron Chef and Top Chef which are just truly fun to watch, as are most other non-cooking reality shows. I honestly had no idea it was taboo to watch that channel while at the gym..
I get really red and sweat a LOT when I'm doing cardio. So, I had just finished up my cardio and was on the weights when this guy who used to be my pastor makes some comment about me sweating a lot and how it's not ladylike (really?!) and then makes a snide remark (and I'm positive it was snide, not just sarcastic) about me being a "manly girl" because I was sweating. There are very few moments in life when I truly have no good response to something and wonder if a person realizes they said what they said out loud. My response was "Well, I'm at the gym. What am I supposed to be doing?"
Some people.
Oh sheesh! If this happens again, stand up and tell him as a pastor he should know that God made you the way you're supposed to be. Unless he wants to talk to God and tell the big guy he made a mistake he needs to shut up and worry more about himself and his judgemental attitude!
"During cardio exercise, you should never push yourself past the point where you are able to speak. Not only does this help keep you in the target heart rate zone, it is also a safety consideration."
Yes, you should be able to spit out a word or two, a majority of the time. It's ok to do intervals during which time you do not want to talk for 20 seconds. However, if you are able to carry a conversation, that's different and I think that's what we're talking about. If you're able to chat and/or read a magazine, you aren't working out to your full potential. I'm not sure it's worth the time or effort, in my opinion.
But yes, using perceived effort or a scale of your ability to talk is a good indicator of how hard you are pushing yourself and should be able to put a few words together most of the time.
My advice is to get your self a good mp3 player, a great workout play list , and forget about all those other people in the gym! I currently go to a gym on a college campus (my husband get a GREAT discount since he works for the school) and all the girls that work out there are skinny college kids. I will admit I do feel a little uncomfortable in there, but like you said if a fat chick doesn't belong in a gym then who does! Get your work out in girl , I'm rooting for you
I guess I'm fortunate that my gym has a ton of people in my situation- obese and trying to get fit. However, there was one woman there that was significantly bigger than anyone- I would guess in the 450lb range- and any time I saw her I was SO PROUD of her. She stopped coming to the gym, and I have to say I miss having her around, because she inspired me. So I was never looking at her with anything negative, but always thinking, "Good for her." Because I knew that it was probably tough for her to be the biggest person there but she was there making that effort. She always worked out alone, also, which can be hard for some people (although I'm a loner as well).
I guess my point is- even if people are looking at you, don't assume they are thinking bad things. They may find that you are their inspiration!
I used to be very obese and I used to feel the same way. Especially as a runner on a treadmill.
Now that I'm a gym rat, I NEVER look at people in that way. What I know now which I wish I knew then, as a fit and thinner person, people are at the gym to get healthy and stay fit and they are more than likely admiring your effort. I always smile big at people that are large and getting an amazing sweat on and have been known to let them know I think they are doing an awesome job!
For the most part, I don't think most people pay that much attention. I don't.
I usually go on my lunch hour, so I'm focused on getting my workout done. Most of the other folks there are the same way. We're on a time budget so we don't waste it gocking around at what anyone else is doing or what they look like.
I live in a small town, and usually know every single person who is working out. We rarely speak, except to say hi, how's it going?
There is one gal who works out who has lost 100 pounds! Ya gotta start somewhere.
For a variety of reasons, I didn't join a gym until I was at 125 pounds. To everyone there, I probably looked like one of the "thin" ones that "belonged " at the gym (until they saw my batwings !).
One day I was jogging on the treadmill when I noticed a woman in front of me on the elliptical. She was obese, and working hard!
I wanted so badly to tell her something encouraging or supportive, but I couldn't figure out a way to do that without coming off as condecending - the thin girl who says something nice to the fat girl (when I was fat, that's how I would have viewed it).
Sometimes I wish I had a T-shirt that said "I used to be fat." I'm not ashamed of having been fat, and maybe others who see me now could know that losing weight isn't impossible!
Sometimes I wish I had a T-shirt that said "I used to be fat." I'm not ashamed of having been fat, and maybe others who see me now could know that losing weight isn't impossible!
I totally love that idea! Makes me wish to get a killer body just so that I could pull that off! lol
I can really relate to what you are feeling, but like so many others have told you, people are really much more focused on themselves at the gym and not you - trust me! I go to our local Y too, and I usually avoid the 5:30 crowd because it is so crowded...it makes it hard to concentrate, especially with stick thin teenyboppers running around everywhere. But I digress.
I generally go a little later in the evening and just get into my own groove. It's more quiet then. What "gmailjunkie" said was so true...the people getting judged are the ones that are letting their kids run wild or wearing neon green and pink at the same time. LOL. You'll find a time of day that is comfortable for you and it'll click. We are ALL going through are own journey and fighting our own demons - even those skinny chicks running on the treadmill with ease.
I am an American living in Sweden and in general, I have to say that there are not many obese people in this country. There are a few, of course, but it seems pretty uncommon to see somebody who is more than a little pudgy here.
Gyms in general are not very popular here either, from what I can tell. Every gym I've checked out here so far is very small, usually has windowless walls and a ceiling that is not quite high enough to help with ventilation, imo. I have to assume that most people here get their exercise either in their normal daily routines (walking and biking are the most common forms of transportation when you don't have to leave your town here) or they are active outdoors in some other way. Also, in general, portion sizes here when you eat at somebody's house or at a restaurant are usually more ideal for balance than they are in the states, so maybe that helps.
But anyway, the point is, when I go to the gym, if the place isn't empty you can bet the farm that I'm going to be the ONLY overweight person in there. And when I'm doing cardio, I'm usually dripping with sweat. lol
Every time the door to that tiny gym room opens, I feel a twinge of nervousness for what the person entering is going to think or do when they see me working out in there, but it always dissolves very quickly because I will meet the eye of the person and give them a big happy smile, like I'm glad to see them, even if I don't know them. (While Swedes are a friendly people in my experience, they don't usually smile at each other much, so when I offer them a big smile, they often seem to be completely thrown by it and they have to look back at me to be sure they saw what they saw. LOL It's so cute! Hehehe But 99% of the time, they will return my smile.)
I think offering a genuine happy smile to anybody who you find looking in your direction might not completely disperse whatever negative thoughts that are going through their mind about you or anything else, but it will certainly lessen them if they are there are all. And if it doesn't, then that is a person who really needed a smile from a stranger today anyway, ya know?
Lol, wait, what's wrong with watching the food channel while working out??? Then there are the reality shows like Iron Chef and Top Chef which are just truly fun to watch, as are most other non-cooking reality shows. I honestly had no idea it was taboo to watch that channel while at the gym..
There is NOTHING wromg with watching the food network at the gym. I think I was judging the expressions on their faces - for some reason there was always a baking show on and the food zombies would look like they really really wanted a cookie but would under no circumstances have one. You could see the struggle. Like actually see them shaking their heads at themselves which was sad but also visually comical a little. No need to explain.
'Sides anytime I'm judgy it says more about me than the objects of my judging.
I'm not sure it's worth the time or effort, in my opinion.
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