Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyn2007
kaplods, that is awesome. Thank you.
I have felt like that *sometimes.* Like, hey, if I can maintain at 178 pounds, I am still SO MUCH better off than I was 100 pounds heavier. That is a success and I am living life as a fairly average sized woman. Awesome.
The catch for me is that I feel a LOT of pressure to lose more because of my knee problem. Dr's, PT's, they all tell me that getting the rest of this weight off is crucial to avoiding total knee replacements relatively soon. I think I get ON myself a lot more because of this. I get mad at myself for "hurting" my knees by not losing the weight faster.
I really need to be more forgiving of myself and applaud what I HAVE done.
I can so relate, because I also have those same catches. My biggest issues are fibromyalgia, and an autoimmune disease attacking my respiratory tract, skin and joints (possibly all my connective tissue) and moderately severe osteoarthrtis and possibly mild rheumatoid arthritis. Joint replacement isn't immediately on the horizon, but probably eventually if I can't get the weight off in the next five years. It does add extra pressure, but unfortunately extra pressure doesn't make me more successful.
In the past year, I've discovered that relatively low-carb eating actually has put my autoimmune disease into an apparent or at least partial-remission. I've had no severe flares since drastically cutting carbs and virtually eliminating wheat (In many autoimmune books, I'd encountered the theory that grains and carbs can aggravate AI disease, but I was still very surprised to see such dramatic changes myself).
I don't have AI celiac disease, but even small amounts of wheat, or large amounts of sugar will bring on AI symptoms (so far, just the skin issues, thankfully, but when I see the skin rashes, I get scared and am more careful with my diet).
It's more than insane that I need to see a face breakout to remind myself that high-carb eating could kill me, but long-term consequences are just naturally harder to deeply comprehend than immediate ones.
Unfortunately though I've found that the self-recriminations and guilt don't help me dig myself out of the hole I've gotten into, they only seem to encourage me to dig deeper or become immobilized from hopelessness.
For me, I had to stop aiming at a weight loss that would end with my getting to eat more at the end of it. Instead, I chose a calorie level that I will lose weight into. My calorie level averages around 2000 calories. This may end up my maintenance calories, or I may find that when I stop losing, I will have to decrease my maintenance calorie level. I'd rather do this, than lose at a much lower calorie level and then hope to be able to (and then have to learn) a new calorie level.
This is also a new technique for me. I'd always diet at 1200 to 1500 calories (or less) in the past, taking for granted that I'd get to eat more at maintenance. Then when my weight loss would stall, I'd panic and think that I was going to have to cut my calories under 1000 calories to get to my goal weight. The prospect of cutting calories even further (when I was already feeling hungry 24/7) would send me into a tailspin of hopelessness.
It's possible that I'll be able to increase calories at maintenance weight, but I'm not aiming for that. I also still have a lot of other changes to make, as the better my health gets, the more I'm able to do. The more calories I can burn to lose weight.
For me, with the fibro and autoimmune disease especially using my health as a motivator is a double edged sword. Any drastic change, even those I have no control over like weather send me into a flare of the fibro. If I try to make any change too drastically, I end up with a flare of the fibro and/or AI disease (probably because drastic change, even positive changes, can release stress hormones that aggravate fibro and AI disease, and other health issues too, even insulin resistance, which I also have).
So ironically, while I feel I should be motivated to do more, faster, when I try I end up with a severe flare of symptoms that set me back.
I often feel like I take two steps forward, and one step back (of course it's a dramatic improvement over when I took one step forward, and two steps back).
Taking two steps forward, and one step back - I will eventually get to goal. The other way, I'll just get further and further away.
It's interesting how I've almost had to learn to diet "backwards" from the way I was taught in order to succeed. When I try to lose weight, I end up gaining. When I focus on making healthy changes, the weight loss has been a happy side effect. Just one of the rewards (aside from other health improvements).