[Chantelle]

I grew up in a country where the average female weighed anywhere from 95-100lbs (I was a chubby kid, and an even chubbier teenager), so the comments I had to deal with a lot were mainly along the lines of "You'd be so pretty if you lost weight!!" Yeah because I wasn't self-conscious enough without you pointing it out..lol. I can see how the "You have such a pretty face" could be dissected too much and taken wrong, but heck I almost wish people had said that to me, at least there isn't a qualifier at the end of it!

[fillupthesky]

whenever i've gotten the "you've got such a pretty face" comment, its almost always been followed by "you should try to lose some weight". its mostly come from my mothers friends and some older family members. whenever they start the phrase, i end it for them..."yes, i know the rest of me sucks....what size pants are you wearing now????"
my mother, who has always been a relatively shy person, thinks its good that i stand up for myself she'll even leave the room so she won't laugh in front of them.

honestly, i try not to let it bother me too much. i take it from where it's coming from.

[XLMuffnTop]

Sometimes someone means well and it comes out wrong; I can handle that. But I don't put up with backhanded comments/insults (You have a pretty face but...) My response would be:

"Why thank you! You have a very nice... um... so it got really cold today."

[joyfulloser]

Yes...I agree, it's the "qualifier" behind the compliment that's insulting and totally frustrating!!

Ok...ok....I've looked in the mirror, and said to my own self, "SELF, you would be soooooooooooo much prettier if you were to lose this weight"...

Now don't get me wrong...I believe in "tact" and it's not tactful to tell that to someone...

However, this IS what people feel...heck...this is what many people feel about THEMSELVES...I'm sure we all do, that's why we are doing something about it. The proof is how after we drop a few lbs, we can't get to the makeup counter fast enough, or to the salon to get that new haircut. FAT doesn't make you look ugly, it simply HIDES the beauty that is already there.

Please no offense ladies...I'm just expressing what some people may be too afraid to. Trust me...I'm my own worst critic...probably why I'm so thick skinned!

[ThinningVegan]

I also cringe when I am told this. I have been told many many times "You have such a pretty face BUT you need to lose some weight" "You have such a pretty face AND you'd be so much hotter if you were thin."

Granted, as already said before, I KNOW I would be so much hotter if I were thin however, a lot of people would be a lot hotter if they

wore their hair different
wore different clothes
etc.
etc.

I think it's rude to give someone a backhanded compliment. Don't compliment someone at all in that case. I would never say to someone "You have such a great body but you'd look so much better if you dressed completely different" LOL We all are who we are and everyone is beautiful. Could everyone use improvements? SURE! I bet 99.99999% of the people who are giving these backhanded compliments have a lot they aren't happy with about themselves too.

It's like the guys my husband makes fun of that he works with who are bald and pot bellied yet seem to be able to pick apart all the things they don't like about a certain model/celebrity/ect. I mean... seriously?

[mmel3283]

When I was 12 years old...My aunt told me I had a beautiful face...and that It'd be a knock out if I just lost weight.


Ummm...totally not necessary.