Ugh, my heart goes out to all of you guys (esp you, clurrrburrr)!

My dad always had an issue with my weight, even when I was a teenager and really thin. There was one 4th of July weekend a few years back when my family got together. My sis-in-law loved to run every morning, so my dad want to get her a reflective vest to run in. He rounded the corner saying "Hey, I got you this vest..." and stopped when he saw me. He said "Yeah, like you'd run. This is definitely not for you.", laughed as though the thought was extremely amusing and walked away. I felt humiliated.

Now, he's pretty much out of my life and I'm good with that. :D

Most of the time, my inner dialogue has been far more cruel than anything other people have said to me.

There was this time that I got into it with a total stranger at a video rental place, though. The guy was there with his little daughter and his whippet-thin wife who didn't say a word through the whole event (I suspect she was from Stepford). Anyway, he was in front of me and just...haranguing the poor clerk in the worst way. He was literally cursing at her, calling her stupid, being incredibly abusive--and of course as she's a retail clerk, the chick is just biting back her temper and taking it because that's what you have to do when you're a retail worker confronted with the species Jerkus maximus.

I'd had enough of his mouth and finally said so, not impolitely but firmly: "Sir, excuse me, but there's a line forming and rather than let your daughter keep hearing this, maybe you could resolve your problem with a manager," or words to that effect. He turns around and gives me this eerie little half-smile as if he's just been waiting for someone to call him on his behavior, just enjoying the **** out of the whole scene he's created. In this nasty, quiet whisper that's totally different from the shouting he's been doing, "Why don't you keep your mouth shut, you fat interfering *****?"

I'm so ashamed now in retrospect that I felt wretched when he said that. Here is this horrible, petty, vicious man making a dire scene in front of his daughter, abusing a hapless store clerk, calling a total stranger a...female dog, so to speak--and I was the one who felt bad because he used that three-letter F-word!? I wish I would've laughed. I wish I would've howled at that, because now I think of it as about as much of an insult as "Oh, yeah? Well, you're TALL!" I mean, really? The worst he can say is that?

Yeah, I was fat, and I was certainly interfering, and there's not much doubt that I'm that other thing sometimes too. But he was vile. I can lose weight; he will always be a butthole with legs. I'm still sorry that the best retort I could give was, "with anger issues like yours, you'll be dead of a heart attack soon so I'm not going to waste any more breath on you." (And admittedly, that wasn't very nice to say in front of a little girl, either, for which I am still somewhat ashamed. :( )

In the ideal world of my imagination, his wife decided on that very night that she'd had enough of his crap, packed her bags, took the kid, and left him.

I have always been overweight, and when I was around 10 one of my girl cousins told me "Nobody will ever marry you, you're too fat." That hurt me for years, and I believed it.. The funny thing is, my husband married me at my heaviest weight over 300lbs. He saw who I am, not just the fat.

when I was younger, my grandpa always said I had horsy thighs, but that didnt really bother me because I didnt become overweight until I was in my early 20's. At a new years party, my husband's friend was talking about all the gorgous women he was always hooking up with and I remarked, "oh like me" and he says, no, your too fat. I wanted to cry. to be fair though, he was pretty drunk, and to this day doesnt remeber saying that.

A boyfriend at the time told me that one of our co-workers who fancied him, had seen us together and had told him "You can do better than that!" meaning her of course!

Pissed off with her for saying it, and him for telling me about it with a smirk!

He later cheated on me, and I dumped the arse.

Funnily enough, AFTER I had lost most of my weight, I took up running and my mother thought it was hilarious. I said that one day I might run a marathon and she literally laughed in my face, really cruelly and said "YOU! Run a marathon!"

And she is a good 60 lb heavier than I am.

When I was in elementary school, a family of kids (3 of them total) liked to spend the entire ride (usually about 40 minutes) making fun of me and my sisters. Their favorite thing to call us was "Pig Olson" (Olson was my maiden name). They liked whale too. They did it for an entire year until we moved to another town. 2 years later they moved to my street in the new town, and they picked up right where they had left off.

I've had a lot of waiters deliver my healthy food to my thinner friend - she typically orders huge nachos plates, or other fattening, high calories meals. And EVERY time they put the high calorie meal in front of me instead of her, and give her my salad/grilled chicken/etc.

When I was at college, there was a group of guys that lived in my dorm that liked to go "KATHOOM KATHOOM KATHOOM" for every step I took by them.

One thing happened when I was a freshman in college that I'm not sure referred to my weight (I probably weighed around 170 at the time) or my general appearance. There were three or four people, including me, outside someone's dorm room. A couple of us said things, and the resident was going to reply to me, but didn't see me, so she thought she had mistaken my voice for someone else's. She said to the person at the door, "Sorry, didn't mean to say that you look like Oboegal." I had considered resident a friend up to this point.

Three or four years ago, I had a theater seat next to a rather crabby woman for a performance series. One time, as I tried to get into my seat, her cane was in my way--I thought I could navigate around it but inadvertently bumped it as I sat down. She told me I needed two seats.

About 22 years ago, I was probably between 220 and 230 and decided to get an item in an ice cream shop. When I asked for a spoon, the young male in his teens or twenties told me I could just stick my face directly into it. Of course, I complained to the manager who told me that their policy is to treat all customers with respect. Thinking back, I don't think he comped my dessert, and I hope he fired the kid but I doubt that he did. At the time, my main thought was that it's really stupid for an ice cream shop to alienate their fat customers.

I hate for any of you to have had such experiences.

Game - I think your reaction was awesome. If your family behaves that way then they don't deserve you or your son. I have a brother that I don't talk to and will probably only see 2 more times in my life - for my father's 80th birthday which we plan to all be present for next year and for my father's funeral which will hopefully not be for quite some time yet. Family is the hand you get dealt, no rules say you have to keep those cards.

clurrrburrr - I'm sorry, but your dad needs a good hard slap or two. As for what he said, considering our start weights and heights you and I were about the same size. Not one, but 2 awesome men have married me at that size. (My ex is a great guy, we just want different things in life.) So, hopefully you already know that your dad is full of it in that regard, but there's some further evidence of it for ya.


I haven't had a whole lot of issues, the worst thing I have had is catty girls calling me fat when it had nothing to do with what was going on at the time. Like once there was a girl who decided that she was just going to step in line in front of the person in front of my ex and I. The woman in front of us was just aghast, I calmly took my ex's hand and moved in front of the girl and offered the other lady the spot in front of us. The girl's reaction included calling me fat. She got so loud and crazy that she ended up being tossed out of the club, I just calmly told her bye.

The only time anything ever truly hurt me was when my father said something like "you're just always going to be a big girl". He wasn't trying to hurt me and didn't even mean it to say that "big girl" was a bad thing. He also didn't say it out of the blue, it was conversationally appropriate. I know that the only problem my father has ever had with my weight is to worry over my health and to worry about me being hurt by shallow a$$holes. So since I know he loves me and didn't mean it badly it makes it better, but it still made me cry.

This is the worst I can come up with, though it's not nearly as bad as some of these.

my mom was telling me she was visiting with an old friend she hadn't spoken to in years and naturally the only thing to talk about was how fat their daughters were. They argued back and forth for a bit then the other woman pulled out a picture of her daughter.

my mother kept sayin, "she's huge! she's bigger than you, just HUGE!" :lol:

My mother has always made comments regarding my weight. The worst part of it is she used to weigh well over 200lbs after she had my older brother and she would tell me how she lost it by taking control of her food and exercise. The truth is she's bulimic and a binge eater. She would always feel the need to make comments about how much weight she's lost and then grab her jeans by the waist band and pull on them in front of me to show me how much room there is in them. Or she would tell me how she met someone who reminded her of me "and not just because we're both the same size"

I was picked on a lot in school and have had people shout out things to me on the street or when I've been with guys showing affection in public. (I've since developed a thing against pda's)

I think the number one thing that sticks out for me though is probably something my niece said to me when she was about 5 or so. She was spending the weekend with my husband and I and we were watching you tube videos. We came across this video of an extremely large woman who was sitting on 2 chairs side by side at the table eating from an entire turkey. She grabbed her massive tummy and picked it up and let it fall laughing.

My niece looked at me and said "Auntie! Is that YOU?"

I almost died.

I had a friend (now an ex-friend) who I knew throughout middle/high school. She moved far away for college, while I went to school semi-close to home, so I didn't see her for 2 years. (Little back-story: I was extremely thin in high school, struggled with an eating disorder the whole time, and she was the only one that I had confided in - even though you could pretty much tell just by looking at me). I saw her after I had gotten out of that habit, and had gained about 75 pounds at that point. When I finally saw her, one of the first things she said to me was "Dang, you definitely got over the anorexia! Maybe you should go back to that for a little while..."

I was CRUSHED. I couldn't believe that she thought I was fat enough that I needed to go back to starving myself! And the fact that she was the only one who I told about the ED made it sooo much worse. UGH just thinking about it gets me mad! Needless to say, I have not seen or spoken to her since. I have to say, though, as much as it hurt - I'm glad it was a friend and not a close family member. My heart goes out to those of you that have had that kind of ugliness in your family!!

The worst comment for me was from my own Mother. Me, my 2 friends, and boyfriend went to the movies when I was 15, and the movie started late and ran late. So my Mom came to pick us and had to wait 30 minutes so when we got to the car we got in she was pissed yelling, cussing, and said what took your fat *** so long I wanted to die she said this in front of my boyfriend and 2 friends in the car it hurt so bad and I will never forget it.

Wow, these are just... heartbreaking, really. And what is terrible is that most of them seem to come from our own FAMILIES. Like wtf?

Anyway, mine wasn't something someone said, but did.

My brother loves to make sure everyone knows that he hates "fat people". When I gained weight and was close to 200 lb he actually stopped speaking to me for entire year.

The only reason he broke his silence was because he needed me to help him out with something. By then I had lost 25 lb, and now I'm down more than 40 lb so now I guess I'm "okay" to associate with *rolls eyes*

Probably "don't you want a boyfriend? Cause you have such a beautiful face, but you'll never get one if you don't lose weight."

I know it wasn't meant to be hurtful, but it stung all the same. And there has been truth to it, even if it is in my own mind/doing.

These truly are heart breaking, and they actually emotionally hurt me for each and every one of you. :hug: to you all!

My mother has a lot of her own issues concerning weight. Her mother was a very large woman. She had 14 children. Unfortunately, she was not a very clean person, and very nasty (from the way mom tells it) as well. So, over the years, I believe that my mom has associated being fat with being dirty, unclean, lazy, slovenly, everything bad you can imagine.

While I lived at home, we were poor and always had only enough to eat to keep us going, day to day. After I got away from home, I started the roller coaster of gaining and losing.

My mother has always been between 100 and 130 lbs. 5'3". Even at 9 months pregnant, never larger than that.

She has said some very cruel things to my sister and I over the years. But, honestly, the worst for me was when she said a few years back "if you try to lose weight again, I really hope it sticks because you used to be so pretty."

She also acted afraid of me when I was bigger. She would talk about people who were my same size and say just awful things. I guess she thought if she weren't saying it directly to me that there was nothing wrong with it. It has taken me many years of therapy to undo a lot of this.

In my ideal world, every one of us would have loving, supportive, caring, wonderful parents. :smug: