I have been obese my whole life and now I am currently towards the higher end of my weight (my highest was around 332lbs. or so) range. For most of my life, ever since before I was 10 years old, I kept saying that "When I lost weight,..." and thinking of how my life, or at least how I really wanted to act, to dress, to behave, would be different once I lost the weight.
When I was a teen, I just wanted to be able to dress in regular teenage clothing. It was difficult for me to do that because plus size clothes were so hard to find and so expensive. I used to, at times, by clothes from Esprit that were too small and hang them up in my room as a form of inspiration. Obviously, that didn't work.
Now, I can find clothes in my size, but, the style is still very limited, the clothes are very expensive, and I am dealing with more issues around my weight: I don't feel like my outside represents my inside. I am now at that stage where I want to feel a bit sexy and attractive and sometimes I feel like that. Then I will see a regular pic taken of me, and I get grossed out and unhappy because when I look in the mirror I look regular, but when I see myself in a photo, I do look so bloated and my body looks overwhelmed by my weight.
I feel like I want to be a bit sexier, or rather, a bit more of a bonafied woman, ya know? Right now, people at work treat me like a younger person (could it be because of the weight?---I know how to do my job and I do it well and can usually help others, but some seem so keen on viewing me as inept), I don't get a lot of male attention, and I really want to wear cute and attractive clothes and feel more like a desired woman. It is hard to find clothes that I can afford and that look good at my current size.
How many of you feel like your weight is preventing you from really being who you are inside?