Accountability, menu, plans, exercise, stuff - Month of January 2011

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  • MJ: I didn't get to add you to my post (it took so long to finish, I missed seeing your post). Do you think that the issues are a result of the economy? I know that here at our office, the morale is low not because of work issues, but everyone is wearing down with the poor economy. Bad habits surface, with the gossip and finger pointing.
  • Quote: I am having one of those days were nothing goes right. I feel like it should be bedtime and it is not even 11AM, I feel a headache coming on, and since I haven't had a moment to eat anything I am having urges to just run and get fast food...only part of the headache is I cannot find my bank card, so I can't go get a darn thing, that might be the only good thing right now but it is annoying me, too.

    The only good thing is I stepped on the scale for my daily weigh in and I have hit my weekly goal...now if I can just keep it there until Saturday for official weigh in and moving the ticker.

    I am a stress eater, so I am scared to eat right now. I don't want to lose this sense of control I have had all week. Scary position, but I am determined to make it through.
    I"m an emotional eater too! I have started this habit of when I'm stressed or something, even if I"m feeling true, "haven't eaten in hours" hunger, I just will not eat until the stress has passed. Once I was fighting with my mom and wanted pasta so bad. and my bf had cooked and he doesnt measure anything, so I told him, sorry, I can't eat that. I waited four hours and I was soooo hungry! Then, I had a really big salad.

    I find htat if I eat veggies I"m okay, sometimes I'll just have a salad when stressed cuz I know I can't 'handle' anything else without it triggering me.

    You can do it!
  • Work was chaotic and we had a crisis and I actually opened the lid to the chocolate box in the back area but all I did was smell it....lol, like some freak but atleast I didn't cave and eat any.

    Food was good... 1438 cal

    2 boiled eggs
    tea w/ sweetener
    water

    brown rice w/veggies
    water

    lg bowl of chicken veggie soup
    5 triscuits
    ice tea w/ sweetener
    water

    I love my crockpot, it makes things much easier for a busy life.

    Purplefirefly~ I hope your day went better than it started!!!

    I hope everyone is blessed with a great evening!!!
  • Today...was emotional.

    My stomach was weird for a small bit, I got scared, but it's fine now, it wasn't what was happening before.

    But then my one friend who I hadn't seen for a long time wanted to hang out.

    Well, I have seen her since I"d regained 28 lbs that I"d lost of the 40 from last time.

    BUT...seeing her fat didn't bother me quite as much as seeing her thinner does.

    Mainly because she told me when she saw my 'before/during' pics, here:
    (when I was 299 before and then right where I am now as 'during')

    Anyhow, she was like, "I can't see a difference."

    Whatever, anyhow, she wants to hang out and I said okay without thinking. Then was panic stricken. I realized I am right back where I was when she couldn't tell a difference before, and I feel so proud and I just didn't want to deal with having pride in the back of my head being eaten away by doubt becasue we were hanging out.

    So, I told her that, straight up, and told her I"ll see her after I lose another 30 lbs for the sake of my own sanity.

    AUGH!

    I was really upset. ThenI picked a fight with bf while he was at work (over text) cuz I didn't realize what was bothering me right away.

    bad day.



    I'm gonna go exercise now.

    ha.
  • Food was great yesterday and I wasnt in the snacky mode. I did eat a bit more at breakfast and it really seemed to help.
    I took the night off from exercise. We had company.
    Looks like I will be calling the dr this morning...UTI.
  • Thanks for the support on my bad day everyone! I ended up just eating grapefruit, raw carrots, ff yogurt...a pieced together but "safe" meal for me. Then i went to bed super early because literally everything went to **** all day long. It ended with a very passive-aggressive, mean spirited talk with hubby...I am not sure what is up with him, but I can't take much more of him talking to me this way so he needs to get happy or get out. I'm about to my breaking point. that on top of everything else was just too much, so I crawled in bed at like 7PM, watched a couple shows and grey's anatomy then went to sleep.

    Crappy days and early nights has been the theme of this week, so hopefully I can have a better weekend.

    Lottie: Your true friends are those who love you regardless of your weight and who don't make unkind comments when you are proud of yourself. She should be boosting you up and sharing in that pride with you, not making you feel worse about yourself. I would seriously think twice about the dynamics of the relationship.

    I have a friend like yours and we have distanced ourselves because it is exhausting trying to "keep up" and feeling judged when something goes wrong. It's not worth it! Draw near to those friends that love you regardless.

    dgramie: Sorry about the UTI, hope you feel better soon!
  • SO very glad today is Friday. Busy weekend, but mostly good stuff...tonight hanging w/ hubby. He is on vacation for a week and I must say I'm a little jealous, but that's ok, he's certainly earned it! Tomorrow is a basketball game to watch my nephew play and my brother coach.....then we have to say goodbye to my brother for a year......he deploys to Afghanistan for a year. I am taking my niece and nephew to lunch while my sil takes my brother to the airport. They say their goodbyes at home, to spare the kids the horrible airport goodbye scene. I already know where they want to go to lunch, so I can plan for that.

    Purplefirefly--How is today? Hopefully better than yesterday!!!

    Jab--I LOVE the crockpot too!

    Diane--Glad to hear your hamstring is better. Maybe it is the economy. We are also doing some changes (reconfiguring BUT it was made crystal clear that NO ONE was losing a job or changing jobs) and at one point everyone was going to have to apply for their own job...hard to explain, but because it is in a sense a brand new program, it would be new jobs....anyway at that point everyone was doing stellar work. As soon as they found out they didn't have to apply for their jobs....yep, everyone stopped doing not only the "extra" stuff, but the normal day to day stuff too.....these aren't new staff, these are experienced, well trained staff. AND to top it off, I'm the one being unfair and mean because I am holding people accountable for doing their job. Good times

    Lizz--Welcome!

    lottie--I think you look amazing in both pics. I can totally see the diccerence in the 2nd pic. You are rockin that dress and boots!!!

    dgramie--hope you feel better!

    Beverlyjoy--Hi!!!

    Zumba last night was awesome! I actually remember more than I thought from the regular classes, but it is SO helpful to have her teach the steps slowly and repeat them over and over. Honestly, its not the greatest workout (her regular class I am sweating buckets!), but I am moving, learning, and having a great time! I will re-start the Sat classes next week, too.

    Have a great OP day everyone!!!!
  • So last night my stomach got wonky again. I ate the same types of food I ate on the days when it was fine.

    I am convinced it has nothing to do with what I eat.

    I'm going to try probiotics.
  • Lottie ~ I think the probiotics are worth a try, I know folks who swear by them. I think nerves are probably not helping as you had posted about being upset that day as well. I would maybe re-think calling that woman a friend. Maybe re-think what she had said , she was jealous and needed to tear you down a bit to make herself feel better. I hope you have a better day today!!!

    dgramie ~ UTI's suck!!!!!!!!!!! I seem more prone to them now that I am menopausal . Good luck and feel better soon !

    Purple ~ hopefully it is a passing thing and you will feel better about the hubby and life today!!

    mj5 ~ I just had a nephew return from Afghanistan and it is very emotional. The year before his sister returned from Iraq. May you all be blessed with strength at this time!!! It sounds like you have a fun weekend planned, enjoy!!

    Well today starts a change in routine and we will have to hope it doesn't effect my eating adversely... I am off work for 5 whole days...
    Two yrs ago the company I worked for sold and I was fortunate enough to be sold with the plantation so I kept a job. It's slightly less money and I lost all my benefits including vacation time. I have finally managed to earn 3 whole days vacation time (I've never worked anywhere so long for so little ... lol) and they are letting me split my days around the weekend so it will feel like a vacation I got lucky because this is a big month for cutbacks and since vacation time comes from a different pocket they are happy to let me take the time off. Keeps me getting paid for my 40 hrs and shows they cut me back from their budget.
    I have no plans to go anywhere but it will be nice all the same... my job is stressful.

    So far I haven't eaten anything just having my tea and relaxing. Tonight will be a trial as my son is here and I promised him he could order pizza. I may buy myself one of those diet pizza's or make myself one since pizza is my all time favorite food and it will be a true test for me.
  • I think I am going to try making a variation of this recipe tonight... if I plan for it I have a much better chance of staying OP !!!!

    http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2008/01...nta-pizza.html

    I like the idea of using polenta for the crust.
  • Hi Chicks - Happy to say that I’ve had another healthful day. I am grateful. I was able to resist food when I couldn’t sleep last night. My usual MO is to eat in the night if I can’t sleep - but, I did not. Yay. However, I may have gone over my planned daily calorie total slightly because I tried warm milk then wine before I finally fell to sleep.

    Yesterday:
    Plan/logged all food
    Lots of water
    Stretches and strengthening
    Meditation
    Left a bite, ate seated only, no seconds
    Wrote in my journal
    Slow eating - some of the time
    Use no choice/red light
    Need to work on: reading my info on healthy eating & Beck Book, really tasting the food, etc.

    I aim for these tasks today.

    One good things is that I've been faithful to eating at least 6 serving of vegetables each day.

    I need to take my mom to an appointment. I’ll try to get back for personals if possible.

    I hope everyone has a great day.
  • Hi everyone. Had a good, on plan day yesterday. I went to the gym and did Body Pump. It was a good workout. So, overall, a pretty good week. I am debating if I want to go to the gym tomorrow. I've got a lot I need to get done this weekend.

    Lottie: I'm with everyone else. Life is too short to have "friends" who stress you out. If you can't rely on your friends to bring you up in the same way you can bring them up, then it isn't a healthy relationship. Hope your stomach gets to feeling better.

    PurpleFireFly: Well, maybe the weekend will help you regroup and have a better week next week. Sometimes it seems like when things aren't quite right in one area, then the other areas in your life can be crappy. I hope things go better for you soon!

    Jab: Enjoy your vacation!

    Beverly: Glad you are having so many good days in a row! Yay!

    MJ: Well, Zumba must be a good time. Even if it isn't the most hard-core workout, you still need to do things that are fun, too.

    dgramie: Hope you get to feeling better soon!


    Have a good weekend everyone!
  • Well I made the polenta pizza and have to say it was good.... I wouldn't mistake it for a pizza in the dark or blindfolded but it passed. I didn't eat any of the take out pizza which is HUGE for me!!!!!!!

    I made my pizza on a cookie sheet so the base was thinner than in the original recipe. I topped mine with homemade pizza sauce, spinach, mushrooms, red bell pepper, carrots and a very very light sprinkle of low fat mozzarella shredded.


    ********edited to finish my day ***********

    Food went well... Cal total 1338

    Tea w/sweetener
    water
    banana

    Polenta Pizza
    ice tea w/ sweetener

    apple
    triscuits
    2-lite laughing cow wedges
    100 cal ff yogurt
    water


  • Okay, new theory on my stomach. ha.

    Since a bit after I went gluten free I've had off and on constipation. this last time it lasted about 3 days before I Took a lax, that was tuesday. half of tuesday, all of wed and thurs were okay until last night late and then this morning.

    I haven't gone since tuesday. Also my hands get this weird smell sometimes. Like canned black beans, it's really gross. I have been trying to figure what causes it. It comes and goes in my life but over the last few months my stomach problems seem to be coinciding with my stinky hands.

    So one time a few weeks ago I was like "I wonder if the current constipation is causing my hand stink!?" but then I was okay so put it out of my head. I'm constipated again, my hands have been stinking.

    Is this weird or what?!

    Anyhow, I read today that people who go gluten free often get constipated cuz of the lack of grains generally means you're not getting enough fiber!

    So I went over my last couple weeks of spark (I track my fiber) and I went from 25-40 grams to topping out at about 11! I was SHOCKED! I eat so much veggies and brown rice I thought it would still be at least NEAR the acceptable range!

    I'm going to start taking fiber/calcium pills and see if that helps. Until it kicks in I took a lax today. I hope to feel better tomorrow!
  • Good Morning! I wanted to check in before my busy day gets started!!

    lottie--I really hope you are able to find something that helps.

    jab--Thank you very much for your kind words. They really mean a lot. This is his 4th deployment...it doesn't get any easier. Oh my goodness...your job does sound incredibly stressful. I have never heard of so little vacation time and no benefits like that. Fantastic job w/ the pizza!!!!!

    Beverlyjoy--Congrats on another healthy day!!

    Diane--Congrats on an OP day and getting to the gym! I am LOVING Zumba! I am actually disappointed that I can't go today.


    So my brother's flight has been changed to Sunday. We are thrilled to have an extra day with him, but mentally its tough....so, I am not taking the kids out to lunch today. They will probably come over and hang out w/ hubby and I tomorrow while my SIL takes my brother to the airport. We'll watch movies and my niece and I will paint our nails...anything to keep them occupied. Like I said, they have been through this before, but it doesn't get any easier....thank goodness he is in communications and always has access to computers. They will be able to email and skype.

    Have a great OP day everyone!