Today...was emotional.
My stomach was weird for a small bit, I got scared, but it's fine now, it wasn't what was happening before.
But then my one friend who I hadn't seen for a long time wanted to hang out.
Well, I have seen her since I"d regained 28 lbs that I"d lost of the 40 from last time.
BUT...seeing her fat didn't bother me quite as much as seeing her thinner does.
Mainly because she told me when she saw my 'before/during' pics, here:
(when I was 299 before and then right where I am now as 'during')
Anyhow, she was like, "I can't see a difference."
Whatever, anyhow, she wants to hang out and I said okay without thinking. Then was panic stricken. I realized I am right back where I was when she couldn't tell a difference before, and I feel so proud and I just didn't want to deal with having pride in the back of my head being eaten away by doubt becasue we were hanging out.
So, I told her that, straight up, and told her I"ll see her after I lose another 30 lbs for the sake of my own sanity.
AUGH!
I was really upset. ThenI picked a fight with bf while he was at work (over text) cuz I didn't realize what was bothering me right away.
bad day.
I'm gonna go exercise now.
ha.