[MzPen]

I have been lifting weights faithfully for about six months now, and all along I've been feeling myself growing stronger, and best of all I haven't sunk into my typical depressions! Last night, my husband, who loves to tickle, was wrestling with me, trying to make me giggle, and he remarked "You ARE getting stronger!" And I could tell that it was easier to fend him off. He's always been very strong in comparison to me, but I started to realize that he doesn't get much exercise at all, outside of lugging things intermittently at work (it's mostly a desk job).

I must admit, I'm not ready to start encouraging him to get into better shape (he needs to lose 40-50 pounds) until I'm in better shape myself! In fact, right now, we're close to the same weight, and while it's certainly not a race, I realize that it is so much more of a struggle for me than it will be for him, and I'm afraid if he starts on a fitness program he'll easily surpass me and it will discourage me ... Am I crazy to feel this way?!!

Pen
265/217/150ish

[SuchAPrettyFace]

First off, congrats on getting stronger!

Secondly, no, that doesn't make you crazy--it's totally normal. I feel that way w/my friend who's divorcing--she lost 30# & while I am happy for her, it made me fall off the wagon.

[Goddess Jessica]

As long as your not sabotaging!!

One of Oprah's big things is loved ones who sabotage one another. Luckily, my Boyfriend is very supportive and encouraging of whatever I'm doing to lose weight (he also needs to lose about 50 lbs). However, my ex-boyfriend used to sabotage whatever I did by trying to get me to stay at home rather than go to the gym or encoraging me to eat whatever he was eating so he didn't feel guilty for "falling off the wagon" too.

My boyfriend is about 40 pounds thinner than me now and I do start to worry that he'll decide to diet and reach his goal WAY sooner than me and that will frustrate me. I also know that he's hinted about exercising with me and I've rejected it. I felt bad because I wasn't encouraging him like he has done so many times for me! So, I examined why. My main concern was that I had tried to exercise with him before and he never wanted to go so, I would end up staying home because he did. So, I told him that he could come along any morning but I would go at my own pace so if he was faster (or slower) than me, he would have to deal with that. He thought that was a great idea... and he still hasn't gotten out of bed once to come out with me. LOL.

Sabatoge is such a not nice, sub-conscious thing we do to other people. I see it at Thanksgiving and Christmas the most when Fat Aunts encourage Former Fat Aunts to eat "one (huge) slice" because it "won't hurt you" and "it's the holidays!" Or saying things like, "you're much too thin. Eat!" I don't think people realize they're doing it but it's so evil.

Sorry for ranting!!!

[Jenniffer]

You're human....

Don't worry about him for now. Do what you've been doing, and put yourself before anything. He will follow along in his own time.