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Old 11-11-2002, 11:16 AM   #16  
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We've been relying on fast food a lot too especially since I went back to work. I'll get home at 7pm and have to cook, give Drake his bath and put him to bed. Sometimes I have to give him his dinner as well if the dh put the baby down for a nap and just let him sleep. When I get home I am beat, the last thing I want to do is cook on top of all this other stuff and it is just too easy to order a pizza or run over to McD's. I borrowed my mom's slow cooker to try and make some healthy meals for these days but it hasn't worked out yet mostly because I haven't really invested the time in looking at some recipes and shopping for groceries. I know darned well I have more time in my day then what I think, it is just that things get so overwhelming that I don't end up doing anything.

It's funny though, I think I am one of the few people here who don't believe that I've gained the weight from emotional eating. I tend to eat the same no matter what. Mostly I think I have gained the weight by eating too much high fat food and I've eaten that mostly out of laziness. It is so much easier to buy prepared foods than make your own. I honestly don't believe that I've eaten more foods or high fat foods because I was looking for comfort. Certainly I probably need comfort considering the state of my marriage by I can't say that I eat to make myself feel better. A lot of the time too I'll eat out of boredom. I'll be watching tv or reading a book and want to munch on something at the same time. Maybe it is habit more than anything else.

I'm getting back to basics right now to try and get back on track. I've let a lot of things fall by the wayside.

Sandi, something you said earlier struck a chord with me. It sounds like you really know what the problem is, you've read up on it but the biggest problem is that yoú've been unable to act. I think overweight people are probably the most knowledgable people in the world about diet, nutrition and exercise but we just don't put any of that knowledge to work.

Something else that I find funny. People say that they eat to comfort themselves and at the moment the food is in your mouth it is great but 2 seconds after you swallow you are beating up on yourself for eating at all. Why can't we have those 2 seconds before we stick the food in our mouth?

Just some thoughts.
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Old 11-11-2002, 11:26 AM   #17  
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Sandi,

I want to reach out and give you the biggest bear hug you've ever had! I was near tears when reading your post. Especially after you mentioned that you were crying as you typed the post.

When I first came to this site I realized that you and I had started at about the same weight. Me, being a couple of pounds heavier. I wanted so bad to be where you were. And now I am. I wish I knew what motivates me, and wish I could pass it on to you. Like I've said before, something just came over me one day, and I haven't looked back. I've been yo-yoing the past 3 weeks, and would like to lose another 4 pounds by the end of the month, but that's neither here or there.

I too have a problem with eating, espeically at home. I realized a long time ago that my eating problem started as a child. I once told my broher that it was because of him that I was fat. I can't remember how he took it, but in all honesty I do believe that that was the beginning. I can't use him as an excuse NOW, but he did contribute when we were kids. I could not leave anything for later, for later it would be gone. Say I only ate half of my lunch and was saving the rest for later, for when I got hungry again, I would go to the fridge and it would be gone. My brother ate it. Time after time, he would do this. Telling me he couldn't help himself. It got to the point where, I felt I HAD to eat it all, right then and there, otherwise, I would miss out on it. To this day, that part of my thinking is STILL around. My brother isn't around, so I can't use him. My kids or DH wouldn't eat it, but I still feel as though I HAVE to eat it all right now. So I've recognized how it started, now it's time for me to figure out how to stop that way of thinking. How? I guess, I 'll have to try to only eat half of something and then go back to eat it later.

Every day, my way of thinking gets a little better. I have exercising regularly since July, and have been getting up at 4:30 for almost 2 months and I feel great about tha choice, but that was a choice that I made. I know I act like a drill sargent to you (in fun), but you need to decide what woeks best for you.

Your continuously on mind, and want nothing more than for you to find whatever it is that will motivate you to get through this journey with a happy heart and peaceful mind.
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Old 11-11-2002, 12:30 PM   #18  
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Dyan, just wondering, why did your brother feel that he had to eat your lunch??
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Old 11-11-2002, 12:44 PM   #19  
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Whoa. I am completely floored.

But I Also feel I must say,

Hi, My name is Beth Anne, and I am a food addict.

Maybe its time to look up the alcoholic 10 step program and see if anything there applies to us?

I just get so frustrated because I'm addicted to what I consider one of the WORST things to be addicted to. Why? Because we don't HAVE to have alcohol, or drugs, or ciggarettes to live.

But we HAVE TO EAT.

I quit smoking 2 packs a day of marlboro reds COLD TURKEY.

I was on my way to becoming an alcholic and gave that up right quickly as well.

But, I have to eat every day. I can't rid myself of food. I can't get rid of the other people in my life who eat food. They all do. They all HAVE to.

That's what makes this so hard, and I think why this is so freaking hard for me.

I was STUFFED yesterday. STUFFED!! But did I continue to eat? Definately. Was I up in the middle of the night just wanting to throw up so my stomach would stop hurting? Definately. I haven't binged like this weekend in a LONG time. AND it was around people I loved - but not one of them said a word. AND neither did I.

Why does this have to be so freaking hard?

I am with you Sandi - 100%.
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Old 11-11-2002, 03:09 PM   #20  
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Sandi... {{{HUGS}}}

Thank you for having the courage to write this & admit your feelings. Many people (ME) share these feelings, but do not have the courage make them public. So, thank you. And congratulations on sharing your post with Steve. I think that will help him understand where you are coming from.

I have a couple of family members is overeaters anonymous. It really helps them. Beth Anne brought it up... perhaps it is something to think about?

I'm having a hard time giving advice as I had a HORRIBLE weekend & am having a HORRIBLE day, so I feel I would be hypocritical... but know that I am here for you & will encourage you to make the best choices you can.

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Old 11-11-2002, 04:40 PM   #21  
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Jen,

Honestly, I have no idea. He was just a greedy little pig, I guess. But you look at him now, and he looks great, and I love him lots.

I could say, it may have had something to do with the fact that we didn't have much money. My mom was a single parent, trying to work 2 jobs and go to school. When we would go to McD's we could either get a hamburger OR french fries. Plus we ate ALOT of bologna. To this day, I will not buy the stuff. I don't know if that was why or if he was greedy. And because we didn't have alot I tried to save what was mine. One year at Christmas, he even ate my chocolate train!! after he ate his of course. When I asked him why, he said he couldn't help it, that it was just there, day after day and the devil made him do it. Whatta dork!
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Old 11-11-2002, 06:27 PM   #22  
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Dyan,

Same in my family. I think all families are that way to some degree. At least poor families. My dad ate everything that I saved. My sister and I ate everything my mom saved. Poor Mom!

To this day, I will not forget living on my own for the first time and going to a Warehouse club and buying the biggest box Cap'n Crunch Cereal I have ever seen. I mean, I couldn't get my arms around it. My then boyfriend asked me what I was doing and I said I was buying enough so that I would get some. HELLO? I lived in the house ALONE. LOL.

It took me awhile to figure it out too. I still buy the jumbo-humungous ceral from the Warehouse. I still think my dad might come to my house and eat it all. Hee!
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Old 11-11-2002, 07:25 PM   #23  
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Sandi,

Big, big big HUGS to you and everyone else here. I know exactly what you are feeling, and we are all here to help each other through it.

My son is sick, so I can't write a long post now, but I will private message you in the next few days.

I hope you are feeling much better than when you first wrote the post.

Hugs,
Sherry
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Old 11-11-2002, 09:56 PM   #24  
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Actually, I am feeling better. A little empowered maybe. I had a great day. Ate a late breakfast, kept myself busy until lunch. Then had dinner. NO SNACKING!!! Any it didn't kill me either. Imagine that. I drank all my water and then came home and walked 1.25 miles. I feel good.

Thank you to all of you. Your advice is always so helpful. Don't know what I'd do without you.
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Old 11-11-2002, 10:24 PM   #25  
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Way to go Sandi! - don't you feel great!!!
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Old 11-12-2002, 08:07 AM   #26  
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Wow. Ya'll who have these stories about growing up poor and family members taking your food -- it reminds me of people who grew up in the Depression and turned into packrats! This sounds like a significant revelation to me ... something to really keep in mind. Dyan, your brother's NOT going to eat your food anymore -- and even if he did, would that be so bad now? Jess, your dad's not going to eat your cereal -- but if he did, you can always go get more! Isn't it strange how these childhood experiences show up in your grown-up habits?

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Old 11-12-2002, 10:25 AM   #27  
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I did it too! I feel so good - I walked a mile and did Day One of the "Better Body" plan in this month's shape magazine. YAY!
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Old 11-12-2002, 04:16 PM   #28  
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Hmmm.

I grew up poor and ate very poorly. Never starved, but ate poorly. I believe this had a huge impact on my outlook on food.

And in some ways..food became my friend.

So, between not eating right and having food become my friend..walah...I am fat.

I definatly have taught myself what is healthy and what isn't. I cannot eat pasta everynight a week because it's cheap. It's not healthy for me. Hot dogs and mac and cheese re not healthy for me 3 times a week.

And my life will not improve after I drown myself in a pint of ice cream.

I need to constantly remind myself..

It's getting better. The obsessive behavior has gotten better.

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Old 11-12-2002, 04:37 PM   #29  
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Isn't it absolutely amazing that the junkiest food is the cheapest???? I too am po' (can't even afford the o and the r) but yet when I try to do cheap grocery shopping I get so much more fattening foods than healthy I'm having a pretty good eating day today.....breakfast and lunch were awesome, dinner is a big ole plate of spaghetti. Then I should be done for today.....GO ME!!!!!
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Old 11-13-2002, 12:30 AM   #30  
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Thats great Beth Anne Just think and savour how great you feel for doing some exersize and how lousy you felt the other day when you ate the wrong choices. Remember these feelings, I found I got to the stage where I just gave up binging cause I would say to myself why bother Im only going to feel rotten in half and hour. Its just not worth it. Im glad you and Sandi are feeling better, hang in there we can do this
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