Let’s talk about transitioning your head out of obesity/overweightness. I am 7 pounds away from being a normal BMI. I haven’t had a normal BMI since I was 20. I had someone say to me today that I was getting SO skinny and I said I was still technically overweight and she didn’t really believe me. It took me a little while to realize that it was completely reasonable for her to think that I am not technically overweight, as it’s only 7 pounds. I still want to lose more than that, but it just blew my mind to realize that I don’t look like a fat person anymore and might not even look real chubby (though I still think I look chubby).
I was in a classroom and the teacher was reading the back of a book and the summary started off that “so-and-so was the fattest kid in school.” The kids laughed and I tensed, waiting for them to look at me before I realized that they never knew me as fat and would have no reason to look at me like that.
So for the whole time I was fat I felt like a skinny person in a fat body. Now I suddenly feel like a fat person in a normal body. Those of you who have already gone through this, how long did it take you to adjust? Those of you who are going through it now, what do you do when these things come up?
When I got to 136 in 04, I felt like a fat person in a normal body. I felt somehow like a cheat, that new people I was meeting didn't know "the real me". Weird. So weird that I ate 89lbs back on. So I don't know the answer - but I urge you to work at finding out better than I did!!!!!
I've been in maintenance 3+ years and there are still moments when I can't believe that I'm a normal weight. ME. ME. That's right, me, *I* am a normal weight. It'll be at the oddest times. For instance. The day of my daughters wedding, just under 4 months ago. The make up artist came to the hall. She pulls out this very wobbly looking director's chair, which is high, like stool height. I told her I don't think the chair can hold me. She looked at me like I was from another planet. Chairs were a big issue for me, and just seeing that thing flipped me out. Because back in the day, I couldn't have gotten into such a high chair and if I did, I would have broken it for sure.
My second daughter got married just 10 weeks after daughter number one, same make up artist, same scenario. I know it wasn't rational, but that's what occurred.
There are many instances where things like this happen and I literally have to be reminded that I am not that large any more. Sometimes it's from myself, like in the instance you described, sometimes, it's by someone else, like I described.
Clothing was a big issue. I'd kept on going back to the large sized clothing stores, thinking the previously small sized clothing that I purchased was a fluke. But nope. It's no fluke.
The laundry? I'll take clothes out of the dryer and think, "sheesh, they shrunk" and there's no way they'll fit me, they're waaay too tiny. But nope, they fit me perfectly.
Other times I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think, wow, "you look kinda like a regular person."
And there are lots of times, it's almost as if my being super morbidly obese was a lifetime ago. It's really odd.
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Those of you who are going through it now, what do you do when these things come up?
Well right now, rehashing some of these stories to you, I'm kinda emotional and teary.
I am so thankful to not be that miserable, underutilized, sitting on the sidelines, anxiety ridden, practically immobile person that I was. I guess I count my blessings is what I do.
Congrats on your weight loss. Enjoy the heck out of the whole experience. And enjoy the wonderful new life you've carved out for yourself.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 10-27-2010 at 03:09 PM.
I have always felt like a normal person in a fat body. In my head I was normal. I did everything that I wanted to do. Looking in the mirror and shopping for clothes was another issue. It was obvious that I was not of normal size. At one time I was 356+ pounds. I still felt normal in my head, though. It's really weird.
I'm with Diana, I always felt normal and still do. I always looked at shopping for a 300 pound body a bit of a nuisance to get something great, but no worse than someone super short, or very tall or with a weird shaped figure LOL
About the only difference I notice now is that instead of 3 closets full of clothes, i have FIVE! hahahah
My friend at work joked that she had reverse anorexia. (Not bashing, just saying.) She was 50 pounds overweight, she had to buy plus size clothes, she couldn't do what she used to do physically, but she had NO IDEA how large she was. She said she looked in the mirror and thought, sure, room for improvement, but I don't look too bad.
That's me.
It's only in photo's that I see the real truth, the body that everyone else sees every day. And it hurts.
So I feel like it's not really my body. Like the image I have of myself in my head does NOT match what I'm carrying around with me daily. And now when I look objectively, I just can't realize that 35 pounds from now I'll be a "normal" weight. I think there's too much fat hanging around, that 35 pounds can't possibly can't make a difference like I'm expecting to see.
My friend at work joked that she had reverse anorexia. (Not bashing, just saying.) She was 50 pounds overweight, she had to buy plus size clothes, she couldn't do what she used to do physically, but she had NO IDEA how large she was. She said she looked in the mirror and thought, sure, room for improvement, but I don't look too bad.
That's me.
It's only in photo's that I see the real truth, the body that everyone else sees every day. And it hurts.
So I feel like it's not really my body. Like the image I have of myself in my head does NOT match what I'm carrying around with me daily. And now when I look objectively, I just can't realize that 35 pounds from now I'll be a "normal" weight. I think there's too much fat hanging around, that 35 pounds can't possibly can't make a difference like I'm expecting to see.
That's exactly how I feel! My weight, BMI, and PICTURES say I'm overweight/obese, but I don't FEEL fat. I feel like a "normal sized" person, so to speak. Maybe if I actually felt as big as I am, then I would be more motivated to lose weight.
I figured myself out. I don't if anyone else is like this or not.
I think the inner picture I have of myself weighs about 175 pounds and she always has. When I was a tiny size three in college (probably 115 pounds, I never weighed myself), I believe the inner picture I held of myself weighed 175 pounds. So I felt fat and no one could convince me otherwise. I didn't even believe the clothes labels. I thought they ran large. When I was 235 pounds my inner picture of myself weighed 175. So looking in the mirror was devastating. When I reached 175 pounds for real, I spent an enormous time staring at the mirror thinking yes, this is me. This is the me I've been looking for! I felt absolutely right. The picture in my head matched the picture in the mirror for the first time. And I knew then that as I continued down I was going to start having the opposite reaction. Suddenly I was going to struggle to see myself as small.
It's been so strange. Now when I look at pictures I expect to see a 175 pound woman and I'm smaller than that. I expect to see her in the mirror.
For me, knowledge is power. I'm ok with this because I finally have it figured it out.
Oh gosh, I'm glad other people feel like I do. Not a fan of candid pictures! Gonna take a whole bunch when I get to a "normal" BMI to convince myself, because I'm like Eliana and weigh 157 in my head no matter what.
Robin, the whole clothes thing I really identify with. I really think that it's a fluke when I fit in a size and it really takes me getting into the next size down (the new fluke size) to accept the other size. So right now I accept a size 12, but am in fluke 10s. And when I go somewhere, I just assume that I will have a hard time finding stuff because I'll be stuck with the crappy plus-size selection. Then I remember.
Also really hard for me is that I still have the same flaws with my body, they're just smaller. My stomach still has an underside, though now it's not very big at all. So I see the flaws and don't really take into account that they are shrinking away flaws. I have an easier time when I'm dressed. I still, though, feel like Iam going to look pregnant in things or super freaked that people will see my stomach. I have worn tucked in shirts, which was a huge thing for me, but it's still hard to reconcile that certain clothes can look good on me.
It took me quite some time to get used to my new body the first time I lost weight. I went from about 165 to 135 in a short period during high school and for the longest time I couldn't see it when people told me I'd lost weight. I felt exactly the same. Then at some fixed point I realized "Hey, I'm smaller now!" and my perception of myself completely changed.
Unfortunately, my weight started to creep up and I still felt like I was hot sh!t - not a bad thing I suppose as it's better than wallowing in self-hate, but I wish I had taken action a little sooner. I sort of got used to it and realized I was a bit bigger through lots of unflattering candid photo exposes, but denial gnawed at me and I didn't fully acknowledge it until I hopped on the scale after a big BBQ weekend and realized I was almost back at my "before" pictures weight.
I'm back down to my lowest weight now and just yesterday when I looked in a mirror I thought to myself "HOLY MOLY I HAVE LOST WEIGHT, WHOSE LEGS ARE THOSE?!" It's a good feeling.
Moving your head to a healthy weight
I don't if anyone else is like this or not.
